How to Cope WTT

[StarryEyed88]

Hi Ladies,

How do you all cope with WTT? How do you pass the time. DF and I are moving into our new home in the next couple of weeks and we're getting married in feb next year so I have plenty to keep me occupied but I can't help but constantly think about WTT.

We are hoping to start TTC in May next year.

I'd love to hear how you all manage xx

 

[ilex88]

Well it sounds like you've got lots going on to keep you distracted! Maybe you could focus on doing things we won't be able to do with a baby - plan weekends away for just the two of you, nights out, that kind of thing. Think about the things you might miss once you've had a baby so you can appreciate the best sides of both situations.

...and in the meantime give some babies some cuddles. That helps me/kind of makes it worse!

 

[ParisJeTadore]

Enjoy the moment! Buying a new house and getting married are big life events. Take this time to throw yourself into fixing up or decorating your home and planning your wedding. Personally, I feel that both those tasks will keep you plenty busy until next May.

For the moment, if your are feeling particularly broody, why not volunteer as a baby cuddler at a local hospital (if they have that in your area)?

 

[MintChocChip]

It's hard but focus on the here and now and really enjoy all the moments before a baby comes along. Write a checklist of things you want to achieve before a baby and it feels great ticking things off!! Makes ttc seem closer, good luck!

 

[plamy]

Soon I heard a very wise thought in a vlog. That we are always impatient. When we are single we dream of having boyfriend. Then we dream of getting pregnant, during pregnancy can't wait to be able to hold your baby in your hands and so on. And at each stage you are thinking about the previous one - how short it was, the moments you miss. So enjoy the current moment, because once you get pregnant a lot of things will change.
We will start TTC in less than 2 months. And these last days are very very hard.
But I try to make different exercises every day in order to prepare my body for pregnancy. Before I exercises just when I had enought motivation which was just few months per year. Now knowing how beautiful my goal is I can't stop myself. I have never been more motivated. I am also trying to work on my relationship with my partner - to be closer than ever and in good mood (making little surprises, doing some new things together, going on dates), so we can start comfortably TTC. I don't want when we start TTC to start making sex more often just because we want baby. I also read now more about the pregnancy so I can be mentally prepared and to know if I have to do anything in advance. I am not sure if reading about pregnancies is making things better or worse but I just can't stop myself. :-D
Though it is very difficult try to enjoy the current moment, your current freedom.

 

[gradschoolmum]

I've been focusing on eating well and treating my body better. Since DH and I have been together, I've gained some weight (he's Italian and cooks carbs, carbs, carbs where I always ate veggies and fruit mostly). Since I don't want to go on a fad diet like I would in college to fit into a dress, I'm spending more time planning good meals, trying new healthy options, trying new exercises (not just going on long runs that I hate) such a barre and hiking and biking and climbing, etc). DH has been excited to try in on these things too which I believe has made our relationship even closer. He even mentioned our sex has gotten better lately which I think is because of all the other active things we've been doing. So that feels like something we're doing together to prepare for a baby without the baby making part yet.

I also read a book a few months ago that talked about all these different stages in life that we have to wait for what we desire most; I found it really encouraging because I remember waiting to get married and feeling like my life would be complete when that happened. I remember waiting to graduate college and feeling like my life would be complete then. I remember waiting to leave home after HS and feeling like life would be complete then..but each thing would be a great accomplishment, and then a new desire comes up. This is great and part of life, but if we are always focused on what's ahead instead of what's now, we are less likely to enjoy what is now. I think there's a healthy balance, looking forward to the future, but also, looking and seeing what's great right now. Before we know it, TTC will be here which will bring along it's own troubles/excitements. Good luck!

 

[MindUtopia]

I think just keep yourself busy with other things and achieving other goals you've set for yourself between now and then. You've certainly got lots coming up with a new home and a wedding, but maybe think of doing something else for yourself, learning a new skill, taking a class, running a 10K or whatever that you've always wanted to do. I also second the idea of travel or just weekends away or nights out. You won't have much time for those things once you have a baby, or like, ever doing anything for yourself again, so I'd give yourself a few of them now to work on and plan. My husband and I are going away for the first time ever for a romantic weekend (2 nights away) alone next month. Our daughter is 3.5 and we haven't had time to ourselves since she was born. So get it in now, maybe go some place you've always wanted to go that you wouldn't feel comfortable traveling with children.

It gets easier when you have second or higher babies as now I don't have time to dwell on it because, well, I have no free time! But I have lots of career goals coming up to being finished this time, finishing up my PhD, taking a new job, plus also just trying to get back in shape again before I get pregnant and have to slow down a bit, all of which keeps me busy (plus a 3 year old who has only just started to sleep through the night, so I'm trying to do lots of sleeping too!).

 

[JoJazie]

So my question here is this - after finishing school, getting married and having kids, what's the next thing to look forward to? Is this when there r no goals and so relationships struggle? What are the next goals (apart from waiting 6 yrs for first day of school for your oldest?)????? I've thought a lot about it but without having kids of my own, I just don't know what to expect .....