How to politely not attend a kid's birthday party?

[Darlin65]

I have a friend who invited me to her sons 3rd birthday. I didn't go to the other 2 she had for him but I got out of those because I had to work. Now I am a SAHM so that doesn't work. We don't hang out or anything. Can't tell you the last time I saw her in person. We talk occasionally over fb and texts but that's about it. We don't have the same sort of friends. She usually has "adult stuff" too so people are usually smoking and drinking. I just really don't want my son around that. Especially since he only has one functioning lung. Even if it's mostly outside or in the garage. How can I politely decline and say we won't be there? I'm a bad liar so i need something simple

 

[seaweed eater]

Just say you can't make it that day, and send a small gift or a card. The excuse is just a token really...I don't think it will change her feelings about your not attending (whether she is upset or doesn't really care).

 

[binxyboo]

You just say that you are sorry but you can't make it.
You shouldn't need to offer an explanation. It is none of her business why you can't go.
If she asks, you just say that you already have something on that day. No need to be specific.

 

[wishuwerehere]

Agree with the others - just drop her a text saying you're really sorry but you can't make it, and drip a card round for her son.

 

[suzib76]

Just say you can't make it, you don't have to provide a reason, simply sorry we won't make it will do

She will be getting replies from everyone, some will say yes and others no, it's not such a big deal from her end

 

[Princess Lou]

I agree with the others, simply say you're sorry and unable to attend then send a card (a gift too if you wish) but don't lie or invite her to ask further questions, it just makes things awkward.

There is also the possibility that it was just a token invite, as you say don't see her or speak to her much.

 

[rosie272]

I've declined a couple of party invitations and just said I can't make it and sent a card, no need for an explanation especially if you're not close!

 

[Eternal]

Just say you can't make it, no need to explain further.