How young is too young to start trying?

[lozzy21]

Aria yet again another post that makes you out to be a sour old moo

I think around 21 is a good age (but thats my personal oppinion) because you are young enough to have the energy needed and are still going to be young enough to enjoy your life when they kids are grown up and you have had some time in the adult world and have usualy got a job and some training. But maybe if i had round the right person years ago i may have said younger.

 

[sparkswillfly]

Aria yet again another post that makes you out to be a sour old moo

well said

 

[hopedance]

i agree that nobody is ever really 'ready'. life isn't a rehearsal, nothing is ever going to be perfect, and i think that when you get pregnant, and have a child, you learn to be a parent. i think people become as mature as their life requires them to be, we learn from the situations we find ourselves in - age cannot measure that.

just as an example of that, i am 22, have a degree (and a good job, but i plan to be mummy in october, so it doesn't really matter), we own our house, my husband has a permanent well paid job, we have been married since 2005, sounds perfect, no? i have found it SO hard to be pregnant, it is a long story as to why, but i was not by any means ready for this experience, a few times i have even contemplated having an abortion when i just didn't feel i could cope anymore. yet a friend of mine is just one week behind me in her pregnancy, she is 20, her relationship is not that stable, her job may not last beyond the next 3 months, and so on - but she has coped beautifully and i am totally in awe of her and know she will be such a fantastic mother and will always make ends meet and pull things together for her child.

 

[shortiecjx]

Age is just a number.... I am 19 and pregnant with my first and ive had problems with people at work sayin "oh shes ONLY 19" but i am a lot more mature than most of the 30 odds there....

I work full time.. I intend on going back to work... Im in a stable relationship.. Im not married but what difference does that make??? So many people get divorced!! It doesnt make you mature and automatically ready for a baby if you get married...

People wind me up with their comments about you should be married or a certain age... Yer i agree with ttc after 18 but only because then its easier to do things....
People are always putting us young mums down but everyone knows we are just as good as you older ones...

Sorry im having a bit of a moan but ive had problems with this before...x

 

[AppleBlossom]

To be honest, there are a few of your posts now Aria, that have offended me. I in no way encourage under 18's TTC but there are a hell of a lot of teens, me included, that make fantastic mothers, better than a lot of people in their 30's. Age is just a number. It's unfair of you to just assume because we're young we will be unfit, immature mothers who scrape every available penny from tax payers via social welfare. Yes, I AM on benefits, without them, I would be completely screwed, I have nobody to look after Grace so I can't really go out and find work at the minute, never mind get a full time job (which by the way I fully intend to get as soon as I can) her dad has not long abandoned us leaving me to pick up all the pieces yet again... they might be a pain sometimes but the system in this country is excellent. There a people who choose to abuse it but they shouldn't give the rest of us a bad name. As for your posts I think they could be worded a little nicer

 

[AP]

I do agree that TTC should really be taking seriously - we spoke for about a year before we started. At 22 and 4 years down the line and now pregnant, the relationship has went mental. And I dont know why. But this could have happened at any age. i could land on my arse and sadly have to rely on benefits til I get back on my feet - I have worked since I left school at 16, non stop. i work now, but how the hell would I do that if I was alone??

Age is just a number. The relationship is the factor. So is money. i tell you, if we did not own the house outright I dont think TTC would have been an option, and we both earn plenty.

 

[sparkswillfly]

Chances are she wont come back to the thread and apologise or explain herself she didnt the last times she said horrible things.

 

[lozzy21]

Like i said shes a sour old moo and thats putting it politly

 

[AppleBlossom]

Chances are she wont come back to the thread and apologise or explain herself she didnt the last times she said horrible things.

I'd noticed that I suppose she is entitled to her opinion but the way she words things aren't the best. This isn't the first post I've been offended by what she's said and I'm pretty sure it won't be the last

 

[MummyToAmberx]

I dont know tbh.
Theres pros and cons to every age.
If your happy, and doing great job, it doesnt really matter.

 

[susan_1981]

I think it varies from person to person. For me personally, I have only recently felt ready to start a family. I'm 27. I've probably been ready since I was 25 and got married but, because of money, we decided to wait a bit before trying. I also didn't want to get tied down too early as I wanted to enjoy being young and free with no ties. Like going on holiday, going out and enjoying myself. I couldn't have done half the stuff I've done if I'd already have had a child. On the other hand, my mum got married at 18 and had my sister at 19 and my brother at 21. She then had me and my brother 10 years later with my dad (my older brother and sister are from my mum's first marriage). She was more than ready to settle down but I know at 18, having a baby was the last thing on my mind and I knew that it wouldn't be happening for me for a long while.

But everyone is different and I think it depends on when you find the right guy. But then, saying that, I met my husband when I was 19 and it took us a good 7 years before we even started talking about TTC.

 

[Princess baby]

I don't think age matters, it depends on the people and if they think they are ready.
I wouldn't advise under 18s to ttc but saying that, there are some wonderful mums which are under 18.
x

 

[nikky0907]

I wouldn't support anyone under 18 really (sorry guys ), in my country at 18 you are still in high school and without your diploma or GED you can barely get a job in Mcdonalds.

Honestly I can't put a number on someone's mental and physical maturity, plus financial stability... each person is an individual in their own situation.


As for you Aria... you aren't looking to make any friends on this forum do you?
I am pretty offended at your post, if not just for myself than for the handful of girls I've met on this forum who are absolutely brilliant moms.
I'm 19(unlike you the first one in my family to get pregnant so young) and I hope no one will think I'm tooting my own horn here but I am a great mom and my mental stability is fine, thank you very much!

Yes, it's hard work. You'll find out soon enough that motherhood is damn hard and not even your age will save you.

 

[Pyrrhic]

I think TTC under 18 is wrong. That is not to say I don't support teen Mums, I just don't think TTC under 18 is advisable.

 

[AppleBlossom]

I wouldn't support anyone under 18 really (sorry guys ), in my country at 18 you are still in high school and without your diploma or GED you can barely get a job in Mcdonalds.

Honestly I can't put a number on someone's mental and physical maturity, plus financial stability... each person is an individual in their own situation.


As for you Aria... you aren't looking to make any friends on this forum do you?
I am pretty offended at your post, if not just for myself than for the handful of girls I've met on this forum who are absolutely brilliant moms.
I'm 19(unlike you the first one in my family to get pregnant so young) and I hope no one will think I'm tooting my own horn here but I am a great mom and my mental stability is fine, thank you very much!
Yes, it's hard work. You'll find out soon enough that motherhood is damn hard and not even your age will save you.

I completely agree Amy, at 19 I am a fantastic mother and I know that because my baby loves me and I love her and I do everything right by her even though I've gone through rubbish times and am now bringing her up on my own. I could quite easily stick her in my mums all the time and go out drinking with my mates (like someone I could mention) but I don't, she will always be my number one priority, even when she's 35 and got kids of her own. I know of a lot of older mums who don't do half a good a job as I do in bringing their kids up as I do.

 

[x-amy-x]

knew i shouldn't have come back to this thread. Gets right on my wick that someone thinks they can determine the age at which I am most mature. I am upset and offended. My own stupid fault for coming back to this thread mind.

 

[Mrs G]

I agree with nikky, I don't think age should be the deciding factor on whether you should have a baby.

I'm a teacher and in the area where I work, having a baby young is the norm and is seen as a "quick and easy" (lol!) way to get benefits and housing. I think whatever age you are, you should ideally be in a position to support yourself and the baby. There is family near here who have 13 children and they openly admit they make more on benefits than they ever would working.

 

[sparkswillfly]

knew i shouldn't have come back to this thread. Gets right on my wick that someone thinks they can determine the age at which I am most mature. I am upset and offended. My own stupid fault for coming back to this thread mind.

Dont worry about it amy its just one miserable old woman who likes to look down her nose at everyone. Especially those who dont pay taxes.....

 

[AppleBlossom]

I agree with nikky, I don't think age should be the deciding factor on whether you should have a baby.

I'm a teacher and in the area where I work, having a baby young is the norm and is seen as a "quick and easy" (lol!) way to get benefits and housing. I think whatever age you are, you should ideally be in a position to support yourself and the baby. There is family near here who have 13 children and they openly admit they make more on benefits than they ever would working.

And it's people like that that give the rest of us a bad name. If Grace hadn't have come along without being planned I would certainly have waited until I was financially secure. But things happen and change your plans. Doesn't make me any less of a mother

 

[x-amy-x]

Well had she know, i've paid my taxes since i left school at 16. So NOW am i mature enough to be a good mother to my children? Spoiled my evening, i'm going to bed. Fed up of being judged. Get a grip and accept that people aren't all living the same old lives. Back in the day it was NORMAL to have children very young!