Hurry up BFPs!!! We are ready when you are :-)

[MrsBroodyPant]

Hilslo - its hard going to specual occasions like weddings. Ive been to a few events and totally dreaded going but actually felt a lot better afterwards for going. I think the only thing we can all do i try to carry on with life as normal.

I hope we all gwt our cycles sorted out asap then we can get our bfps!

Lune_miel - i passed a chunk today like a big clot. Im not bleeding now, just spotting a tiny bit, so i didnt expect that!

Xxx

 

[Nina83]

Hislo, I'm sorry about your weekend, that must have been tough.
Good to hear about your BFN though, it's sort of a bittersweet moment

 

[Nina83]

My body has a mind of it's own.
Today when wiping I got some blood. It's too early to be AF, and I'm really hoping that the bleeding hasn't come back. it's been 12 days since I stopped bleeding fro the D&C. I'm hoping it's some bleeding from ovulation, which I heard can occur after MC. Even though my chart is still crazy. Temps went slightly up this morning, creamy/sticky-ish CM.
I feel slightly pathetic hoping that maybe this could be implantation bleeding. Because it probably isn't. It's just my mind playing games with me along with the bigger boobs, constant peeing and sore nipples. I hope someone is getting a good laugh right now.
UGH!

 

[lune_miel]

Agh we are all going to be messed up deciphering our bodies for awhile I think.

PS. Bleeding is slowing down!

 

[hilslo]

lune_miel - great news. I bet you can't wait to see the back of it!

Ugh - I was having a really positive day. Ventured out in the sunshine with DH to buy some plants and happily watched as he planted them all up (I have another 3 weeks before I'm allowed to lift/dig). DH even commented that I looked cheerier and that maybe we'd turned a corner. Nope - got a text from a close frined to say she is pregnant. Don't get me wrong - I am absolutely thrilled for her (She definitely deserves it -she has been trying for over two years with a miscarriage along the way and will make a fab mum) but it's just come at such bad timing that it's really thrown me. It would have been so lovely to have been pregnant together. Instead, I've still got a huge pot belly from the operation, a big scar that isn't below the bikini line (I don't know what kind of big pant bikinis surgeons wear but the "incision below bikini line" is a downright lie!) and no baby. Hence I'm still up at 1.30 in the morning unable to sleep.

I feel like it's never going to me be again. With only one tube and a 1 in 10 chance of another ectopic I feel scared that it's going to take years and I can hear my bio clock ticking away very loudly. So worried that it's going to take months for my cycles to return like it did after coming off the BCP. Argh - why can't I just fast forward time to being more rational and back to somewhat regular cycles so we can try again?

Sorry for being such a miserable so and so and spoiling all the good PMA but I just needed to get it off my chest. I want the ground to swallow me up for a while (and spit me out pregnant!) until the heartache goes away.

I need some hope that things will be okay....

 

[MrsBroodyPant]

Hilslo - having the scar must difficult. I understand that it is a constant reminder. I will also find it hard when the next person tells me they are pregnant. But please believe u will get there again soon and have a healthy baby.
Remember i got pregnant with only one tube! Do u take Clomid? It makes me ovulate and can encourage multipile eggs so i have a greater chance of an egg coming down the working tube! It worked first go!
Xxx

 

[ece77]

MrsBroodyPant - Thanks for the kind words

Hilslo - Having a reminder will be hard, I agree. And hearing or seeing pregnant ladies is quite difficult too. I bumped into a friend from college today, who was a couple of months ahead of me. And now she has quite a bump. I was almost congrulating myself that I chatted so naturally with her, as if I was OK with my MC. But all of a sudden my eyes were full with tears (a second after we parted). As you say, I am happy for her. But it will take some time for us to come to terms with what we've been through!

Nina - I hope you've catched the egg and it's implantation bleeding you're having. I must say I never passed any clots or had much bleeding due to the d&c I guess. But I had spotting on and off for more than a month. But of course mine is a totally different story than yours.

lune-miel - How true you say that we're going to get crazy trying to decipher our bodies! I only started charting about a week after the d&c and my chart is a total mystery. I guess I'll get better at understanding it after a couple of "normal" cycles.

AFM - Nothing new. No AF still, but a HUGE bloat on my belly. Hope it comes sooner than later. FX

 

[MrsBroodyPant]

Just got my hospital review appointment for 27th June. Id love to be pregnant by then but i think thats pushing my luck lol. October is still my target.
Does anyone else go back for a check up in a few weeks? X

 

[Nina83]

I'm still spotting and started having cramps tofay.
In the beginning they were the dull ones, like I had when pregnant, but through out the day they got more AF-ish.
It's still too early for AF, I only stopped spotting from the D&C 12 days ago, aren't 20 days supposed to go by, or 2 weeks without bleeding to be AF?
But if it is AF, that means I would be able to start my next cycle of TTC even sooner.
I feel SO pathetic!
I just noticed today that next month marks a year of TTC. I feel like a mother nature failure.

 

[Nina83]

Hilslo, big big
I'm so sorry you're feeling like this, there is always hope though!

 

[lune_miel]

hilslo- it is so hard to stay positive, we catch ourselves wondering if it will ever happen. but all you have to do is look around here, and it does!

 

[MrsBroodyPant]

Im cd15 now. Two weeks since i gave birth to my angel baby. It feels so sad to be back ttc again. But i know we need to keep moving forward.
X

 

[hilslo]

Hello ladies

I'm back to feeling okay again (with this amount of ups and downs I'm beginning to feel like I've got a bipolar disorder!). I've made the decision to stop thinking about the "what should have beens". They're driving me insane and making me sad. I'm trying to think of these thoughts as poison for my brain. They won't bring back the baby so I have no choice but to look forward. This will probably only last until I see another pregnant bump but it's worth a try!

How are you all doing today? MrsBP CD15 - not too much longer to wait until you ovulate. I know you have long irregular cycles like me - are you using OPKs or waiting until this AF to really go for it?

Ece77 - I still have massive bloating too. I look like a pot bellied pig as I keep saying to my DH. I've read that it can take around 6 weeks for the bloating to go down so I still have another 3.5 weeks to go before it's back to normal. Though I suspect it might not all be bloat after the amount of comfort food and lack of physical movement I've had since the op! I'm looking forward to being able to go to the gym, long walks and the odd run again - it feels like a long time ago since I've done any of them so I bet I'll be useless for the first few!

Nina83 - I too am confused by your cycles . Wouldn't it be great if your body could tell you what it was doing, for exampe "Nina83, don't worry, just a bit of internal adjustments going on, we are gearing up of O on xx". It would definitely take a lot of the worry away!

Lune_miel - you are so right about the positive stories on here. I've spent my morning reading through a lot of the boards that started around this time last year and can see that a lot of the ladies are in their 3rd trimester or have babies already - it definitely makes me think more positively again! how is the bleeding going - has it slowed to a stop yet?

I'm still eagerly awaiting my lining to shed so that I can get OPKing again! I had some mild cramping last night but it's hard to tell as I'm still getting pain from the op. Fingers crossed something is happening in there though! From reading other ectopic posts it seems to usually happen 4-6 weeks after the op so I still have bit of a wait. So impatient to get started TTC and getting that BFP before October!!!!

 

[MrsBroodyPant]

Im not planning on doing opks until my real af comes and i can take clomid. But i will bd as much as possible just incase we are extra lucky! Im going to buy a massive box of smiley opks for next cycle
Xxx

 

[hilslo]

I'm the same! Waiting for Af to come and then BDing and POAS like a demon. I sooo hope my cycles aren't too messed up. Not sure I can bear a 3 month wait like last time!

I've just realised I never responded to your Clomid question. I have a friend who had a bad experience on clomid (it caused her hair to start falling out amongst other things!) so I'm a little nervous of trying it. I think we'll try for 3 cycles to see how things go naturally and then go to my GP to talk about Clomid.

When in your cycle do you take it and how does it work? From what I've read it regulates your cycles but I've no idea how - can you determine when you'll ovulate when you're on it? Do you need to do anything in particular before you go on it or is it a case of just starting it one cycle? MrsBP are you in the UK? If so, how long did it take for your GP to prescribe it?

 

[Nina83]

MrsBroodyPant, I'm so sorry
I can't remember if I asked you or not, but when/how did you start counting your cycle?
Those smilies are great, I love seeing it smile back at me.

Hilslo, I started a heavier bleed today, so I think I'm out for now. I'm almost sure this is AF and not bleeding from the MC, I'm having AF cramps. But how do I know if it is or not? If it isn't AF, could I still ovulate? For now I'm keeping my check up with the doctor for the 26th.

 

[MrsBroodyPant]

Hilslo - i took clomid on cycle days 2-6. I took 50mg which is one tablet per day. I had one cycle on clomid where we didnt dtd as hubby was really poorly and i had a 29 day cycle which is the shortest of my life! Then the next cycle on clomid we dtd lots and got our bfp! Clomid triggers the hormones that make u ovulate. I hadnt heard any scary stories like hair falling out! FS only said risk of multiple babies which i wouldnt mind! Im in the uk. My GP doesnt prescribe it but the hospital did after checking my blood & hubbys sperm test. Good idea to try without it but if no luck then it might help.

Nina - i gave birth to my baby naturally in hospital and started bleeding that day so i counted that first day of bleeding as cd1 like u would with a normal period. But im expecting this cycle to be far from normal lol.

I hope we all get our wacky cycles on track for June bding
Xxx

 

[lune_miel]

To your questions-

I took Clomid and didn't have any side effects (maybe a little frisky but I've read on here some get hot flashes. I took it for 3 months, 50, 50 , 100 mg. I ovulated on cd 18 every time, I think it is different for everybody, but my doc said to bd every other day for over a week to cover it. The reason why I got BFNs the first 2 cycles is honestly we didnt bd enough (once or twice) or at the right time. It is not very romantic to say WE MUST BD TONIGHT! as you know. We only bd'ed once 2 days before O and BFP. I also took Mucinex that cycle as I wasn't getting EWCM until O day which is too late for me (oh & that is a neg side effect of Clomid). If you don't O regularly on your own then def try it! That's all I had to tell the Dr to get it. And I got bumped up to 100 to get a stronger O.

According to pregnancyloss.info:
Your first period will not arrive until four weeks after yourhCG*levels reach zero.
You must not bleed at all for about 20 days for it to be a real period.
You have to restart the counter if you have a renewed case of serious bleeding.
I wonder if this will turn out to be correct for us? My bleeding is now light, starting and stopping. So I can't count day 1 of no bleed yet- so frustrating! I can't wait so long for AF!

 

[MrsBroodyPant]

Thanks for the info lune_miel.
So if we are counting days without bleeding, im on day 3 today! So if we can reach 20 days, then i will truely be waiting for AF.

Come on BFP's before October!!!!!!!!!!! Im ready for u!! xxx

 

[hilslo]

lune_miel, Mrs BP - thank you both so much for your info on Clomid. makes me tempted to run to the GP to ask for it now but know that I really need to wait for periods to return beofre I know where I stand.

lune_miel thanks also for you info on AF . I'm slightly disappointed that I still have 3.5 weeks minimum before af arrives but at least this will stop me worrying until 5.5 weeks and that's probably more important!

Do you know if this will be a proper period (ie whether we should have ovulated before this time?) or whether this will just be our bodies realising that we are no longer pregnant and that we will only ovulate after this time? I'm a little unsure how ectopic differs (if at all) from a miscarriage. I assume fora miscarriage you may have already shed the lining so you would ovulate first???? No idea if that's right!!!

All this TTC after loss is very confusing! If my brain can't get round it, no wonder my body is confused too!

MrsBP - as i got my BFN on Monday and have had no sign of any spotting this makes me 3 days into the 4-6 week wait too. We will get through this first hurdle though and get our BFPs soon!

Nina83 - sounds like you're first to get AF and will be ready to get the party started soon! Hopefuly you can lead the way and get a BFP first time round!

If there are any other thread stalkers reading - let us know where you are!!