Husband says he wants a baby but will not have sex when I am ovulating.

[AshleyLK]

I would like to say I was in a similar situation. We just are not a "two times a day" kinda couple and I was getting stressed when I wasn't getting pregnant! Of course I let him know the situation AND I mentioned that if we didn't get pregnant conventionally, we would have to go get IUI, which can be very intimidating for a man who is as private as my husband.

Unless he wants to go the expensive, medically assisted route, explain to him you guys should really try the conventional method. I don't know if it would be an incentive for him to perform, it might help!

Also, maybe if he doesn't feel like performing, you could always look into at home insemination with his sperm after he takes care of himself? This perhaps will eliminate his performance anxiety?

I know if you are anything like me, I would try anything once to get pregnant

 

[samoorah1983]

Hi I am on the same boat as well. this our 3rd year of marriage, our anniversary is in July. I am 28 and husband 29. Both healthy. When we first got married I wanted to wait a couple of months before we try, we started talking about how cute our baby would look like when we have em, he would talk about how he wants a cute little girl and how they're so sweet and caring, rather than a boy because boys are trouble makers Lool.. So whenever I feel we have a fertile time he would just say I am tired, my legs hurt, I'm full, I'm sleepy and on and on. I don't blame my husband he works his ass off... But problem is I try to hold it off right to when I ovulate, he'll do it once or twice and stop... My cycle is not regulated, it ranges from 28 -30 or 34 depends, so my ovulation time pushes backwards and forward.. I have been riding this train till now... Every single month that passed by ever since we got married we ALWAYS miss our window ALWAYS!! Why? Because he's tired, and then he tells me oh you got your period?? I'm devastated!! I get upset and he makes me feel like I'm the one with problems and maybe it's just me that I can't conceive. Which I did all the doctors checks, ovaries , utures, Fallopian tubes, pap, all normal. But I am at high risk of hypothyroid which my doctor said that it does not affect us to have a child. I love husband to death I can't live without him, he wants children more than anyone but he's not trying... I'm sorry about the loooong story , but I gotta try with him if it takes me forever.... Don't get sad it's just a matter of the right time.

 

[baby222]

Sorry Samoorah1983 to know your story .....keep your faith on....and don't stop trying I wish to assist you but try with your self first .......

the first step to change any situation you must start changing yourself first

 

[marymoomin]

I can relate to this. I had an ectopic and I was hell bent on getting pregnant again. I used to wake of up at all hours for sex around ov. Eventually the pressure became too much and he couldnt perform as well.
We have since had a baby and are ttc#2 and I dont mention ov any more, that way it takes the pressure off him.
Good luck!
xx

 

[lilesMom]

sounds kind of crude but a bj to start off is guaraunteed to get him in the mood, i know u shouldnt be the one making all d effort but if it works ye r both happy. people will prob kill me for saying it but it can def work best of luck to all.

 

[pcsoph2890]

God this is so my story too. Months ago i told husband that i was in the fertile period, and he replied that after i told him that it was the last thing he wanted to do to be told that he had to dtd. So now i don't bother, but during the time we just don't have enough sex to conceive, i would like to be at it like rabbits throughout the whole period, but he is tired, aching (from all his sports training), late off work (or i am) so we never do it. Sometimes he just turns over and falls asleep, and i have cried myself to sleep on occasions. Makes me feel unwanted and unattractive thinking he should be wanting to pounce on me too. I have tried on occasions too to instigate things and he (sorry TMI) looses his erection, so i just stop and he's asleep in a couple of minutes - just feel at times it is me that is putting all the effort into TTC, by buying OPK's, checking CM etc and think what is the point?
I'm hoping that by the middle of June it'll all change as he is training for a competition and he'll be able to relax more and dtd more without being too knackered.
It's been 11 months TTC and as the lady said above i feel a bit stupid going to the doctors as i'm sure when they look at the chart they'll say we just aren't having enough sex.
But i know he wants children as each time i get my AF he is so disapointed and asks when we'll get pregnant - if he asks this month (as only dtd 1 day in fertile period - the day before 0 - so quite sure AF will be visiting again) i'll be straight with him that we don't have enough sex and be very blunt with him about the fertile period and we just aren't hitting it!

If in June we give it a good go and nothing happens then i'll go back to the doctors and see whether there is something wrong with us - i'm panicking as i'm 37, husband is 32, so he just undertstand that if there is something wrong then we have a short period of time to get it sorted!

Onwards and upwards i suppose!

 

[Loveya]

I know it might be abit of a turn off but if he wants a baby as much as you do would it help if you told him that it was your most fertile day and it would be the best time to conceive. I always tell my OH and even if we are tired we will make sure we dtd to have the best chance.
Luckily my OH doesn't mind being told when I'm most fertile as he knows it will help.

Good luck with it

 

[lily28]

sounds kind of crude but a bj to start off is guaraunteed to get him in the mood, i know u shouldnt be the one making all d effort but if it works ye r both happy. people will prob kill me for saying it but it can def work best of luck to all.

Lol yep that usually works...

Anyways I also have a very reluctant to have sex hubby, and it gives to my nerves. I know for a fact other man can;t get enough, and mine is the opposite.

Enough of my rant , I'm going to take a lh test now.

 

[baby222]

Hi I am on the same boat as well. this our 3rd year of marriage, our anniversary is in July. I am 28 and husband 29. Both healthy. When we first got married I wanted to wait a couple of months before we try, we started talking about how cute our baby would look like when we have em, he would talk about how he wants a cute little girl and how they're so sweet and caring, rather than a boy because boys are trouble makers Lool.. So whenever I feel we have a fertile time he would just say I am tired, my legs hurt, I'm full, I'm sleepy and on and on. I don't blame my husband he works his ass off... But problem is I try to hold it off right to when I ovulate, he'll do it once or twice and stop... My cycle is not regulated, it ranges from 28 -30 or 34 depends, so my ovulation time pushes backwards and forward.. I have been riding this train till now... Every single month that passed by ever since we got married we ALWAYS miss our window ALWAYS!! Why? Because he's tired, and then he tells me oh you got your period?? I'm devastated!! I get upset and he makes me feel like I'm the one with problems and maybe it's just me that I can't conceive. Which I did all the doctors checks, ovaries , utures, Fallopian tubes, pap, all normal. But I am at high risk of hypothyroid which my doctor said that it does not affect us to have a child. I love husband to death I can't live without him, he wants children more than anyone but he's not trying... I'm sorry about the loooong story , but I gotta try with him if it takes me forever.... Don't get sad it's just a matter of the right time.

Sorry Samoorah1983 to know your story .....keep your faith on....and don't stop trying I wish to assist you but try with your self first .......

the first step to change any situation you must start changing yourself first

 

[dozydormouse]

Hi I am on the same boat as well. this our 3rd year of marriage, our anniversary is in July. I am 28 and husband 29. Both healthy. When we first got married I wanted to wait a couple of months before we try, we started talking about how cute our baby would look like when we have em, he would talk about how he wants a cute little girl and how they're so sweet and caring, rather than a boy because boys are trouble makers Lool.. So whenever I feel we have a fertile time he would just say I am tired, my legs hurt, I'm full, I'm sleepy and on and on. I don't blame my husband he works his ass off... But problem is I try to hold it off right to when I ovulate, he'll do it once or twice and stop... My cycle is not regulated, it ranges from 28 -30 or 34 depends, so my ovulation time pushes backwards and forward.. I have been riding this train till now... Every single month that passed by ever since we got married we ALWAYS miss our window ALWAYS!! Why? Because he's tired, and then he tells me oh you got your period?? I'm devastated!! I get upset and he makes me feel like I'm the one with problems and maybe it's just me that I can't conceive. Which I did all the doctors checks, ovaries , utures, Fallopian tubes, pap, all normal. But I am at high risk of hypothyroid which my doctor said that it does not affect us to have a child. I love husband to death I can't live without him, he wants children more than anyone but he's not trying... I'm sorry about the loooong story , but I gotta try with him if it takes me forever.... Don't get sad it's just a matter of the right time.

Sorry Samoorah1983 to know your story .....keep your faith on....and don't stop trying I wish to assist you but try with your self first .......

the first step to change any situation you must start changing yourself first

Um, baby222, I noticed your comment before and thought maybe I didn't read it properly to understand, then saw it again but still don't understand - what do you mean?

 

[Gingersnaps]

I read a study recently that said, sex when expected to perform ie baby making can cause performance issues. It is not a definite but it can. Common sense really. Once you have been ttc more than a month or two it puts pressure on you both, but honestly the guy has to do something and that can be psychologically hard at times. We are ttc but I do not mention my 'time'. I also initiate at other times of the month (very important). I get disappointed if miss a day i want but we usually get at least two in the fertile window. Sex before O is very important. The best is supposed to be the two days leading up to O. Do not get upset if you miss one as then you may ruin your chances for the next day. Don't let ttc turn into a squabble. And make sure he knows you want him ttc aside. If you like I will find the article for you.

 

[vicky84]

My hubby suggested in march we have a baby, i had coil removed in april , gettin him to BD at the right time is a NIGHTMARE he just goes im tired *sigh*

Sorry ive edited cos ive read more, i love this thread, makes me feel a little less ALONE. Im thinking of scrapping all means of"ttc" BTT and OPKs and just being OK with the fact he will do it when he wants (or so he thinks)

Last night i was playing with him for ages and then he yawned and went "im tired now" LOL are u really well u may be waiting a while before that happens again!!

 

[lilesMom]

i hve a much higher sex drive than my other half so i do understand wasnt trying to be flippant. i used to think it was my fault and feel shitty over it but now i dont cos i know its just a chemical thing, as long as ye both enjoy it when ye do. guys egos go a bit funny too if they reckon u dont really want him just a baby making machine and it can put pressure on him too. i know we r under pressure and shouldnt hve to do all d work but if u manage to make it less like work, u will both enjoy the whole process more. be as honest as u can with him without blame for either of u and it will make it easier. sometimes they just might not realise just how important it is to u or just how important timing is, we do our research a lot o the time they dont. they just think that loads o people get preggers by accident so why the pressure. best of luck hope u feel better about it and hope u get ur bfp sooon to all xxx

lots of cuddles that dont lead to sex helps ye both feel better too

 

[samoorah1983]

Hi I am on the same boat as well. this our 3rd year of marriage, our anniversary is in July. I am 28 and husband 29. Both healthy. When we first got married I wanted to wait a couple of months before we try, we started talking about how cute our baby would look like when we have em, he would talk about how he wants a cute little girl and how they're so sweet and caring, rather than a boy because boys are trouble makers Lool.. So whenever I feel we have a fertile time he would just say I am tired, my legs hurt, I'm full, I'm sleepy and on and on. I don't blame my husband he works his ass off... But problem is I try to hold it off right to when I ovulate, he'll do it once or twice and stop... My cycle is not regulated, it ranges from 28 -30 or 34 depends, so my ovulation time pushes backwards and forward.. I have been riding this train till now... Every single month that passed by ever since we got married we ALWAYS miss our window ALWAYS!! Why? Because he's tired, and then he tells me oh you got your period?? I'm devastated!! I get upset and he makes me feel like I'm the one with problems and maybe it's just me that I can't conceive. Which I did all the doctors checks, ovaries , utures, Fallopian tubes, pap, all normal. But I am at high risk of hypothyroid which my doctor said that it does not affect us to have a child. I love husband to death I can't live without him, he wants children more than anyone but he's not trying... I'm sorry about the loooong story , but I gotta try with him if it takes me forever.... Don't get sad it's just a matter of the right time.

Sorry Samoorah1983 to know your story .....keep your faith on....and don't stop trying I wish to assist you but try with your self first .......

the first step to change any situation you must start changing yourself first

Hi baby222 I don't understand what do I need to change myself about? I'm kinda confused? Can you explain why I need to change myself?

 

[lily28]

i hve a much higher sex drive than my other half so i do understand wasnt trying to be flippant. i used to think it was my fault and feel shitty over it but now i dont cos i know its just a chemical thing, as long as ye both enjoy it when ye do. guys egos go a bit funny too if they reckon u dont really want him just a baby making machine and it can put pressure on him too. i know we r under pressure and shouldnt hve to do all d work but if u manage to make it less like work, u will both enjoy the whole process more. be as honest as u can with him without blame for either of u and it will make it easier. sometimes they just might not realise just how important it is to u or just how important timing is, we do our research a lot o the time they dont. they just think that loads o people get preggers by accident so why the pressure. best of luck hope u feel better about it and hope u get ur bfp sooon to all xxx

lots of cuddles that dont lead to sex helps ye both feel better too

Same here...

The thing is without sex there isn't going to be any baby. Simple as that. No matter how hard I try, by planning, taking opks, bbt etc etc if he can't perform the result will always be the same. He seems like he doesn't care and say he is just tired but often I wonder he is just not into me sometimes. I never tell him about making babies, or that I'm ovulating. Then we wouldn't have ANY sex at all.

 

[baby222]

Hi I am on the same boat as well. this our 3rd year of marriage, our anniversary is in July. I am 28 and husband 29. Both healthy. When we first got married I wanted to wait a couple of months before we try, we started talking about how cute our baby would look like when we have em, he would talk about how he wants a cute little girl and how they're so sweet and caring, rather than a boy because boys are trouble makers Lool.. So whenever I feel we have a fertile time he would just say I am tired, my legs hurt, I'm full, I'm sleepy and on and on. I don't blame my husband he works his ass off... But problem is I try to hold it off right to when I ovulate, he'll do it once or twice and stop... My cycle is not regulated, it ranges from 28 -30 or 34 depends, so my ovulation time pushes backwards and forward.. I have been riding this train till now... Every single month that passed by ever since we got married we ALWAYS miss our window ALWAYS!! Why? Because he's tired, and then he tells me oh you got your period?? I'm devastated!! I get upset and he makes me feel like I'm the one with problems and maybe it's just me that I can't conceive. Which I did all the doctors checks, ovaries , utures, Fallopian tubes, pap, all normal. But I am at high risk of hypothyroid which my doctor said that it does not affect us to have a child. I love husband to death I can't live without him, he wants children more than anyone but he's not trying... I'm sorry about the loooong story , but I gotta try with him if it takes me forever.... Don't get sad it's just a matter of the right time.

First of all you need to keep your faith in God

Convince yourself that you can make a baby , not you need a baby but you can't make it

I was in the same boat until some one gave me some advices, now I am pregnant ...thanks GOD

Pray , Pray and Pray

ask God as much as you can , dont give up

be Honest with your self instead to be Honest with someone else and answer on these sample questions ?

are you really want a baby ? or you act?
is your husband want a baby ? or he acts?
are you suffering from any problems ?
is your husband suffering from any problems ?

and any other questions you think that will affect on your problem....

write them down and try to fix your problems first

Treatment will never found before you find your problem.


70% of People that have problems is an illusion because they dont know their problems .


Be patient and let start this program together

trust me the last thing in my mind was my problem, when I fixed it I became pregnant. Thnaks GOD

I will be in touch with you

 

[baby222]

Hi I am on the same boat as well. this our 3rd year of marriage, our anniversary is in July. I am 28 and husband 29. Both healthy. When we first got married I wanted to wait a couple of months before we try, we started talking about how cute our baby would look like when we have em, he would talk about how he wants a cute little girl and how they're so sweet and caring, rather than a boy because boys are trouble makers Lool.. So whenever I feel we have a fertile time he would just say I am tired, my legs hurt, I'm full, I'm sleepy and on and on. I don't blame my husband he works his ass off... But problem is I try to hold it off right to when I ovulate, he'll do it once or twice and stop... My cycle is not regulated, it ranges from 28 -30 or 34 depends, so my ovulation time pushes backwards and forward.. I have been riding this train till now... Every single month that passed by ever since we got married we ALWAYS miss our window ALWAYS!! Why? Because he's tired, and then he tells me oh you got your period?? I'm devastated!! I get upset and he makes me feel like I'm the one with problems and maybe it's just me that I can't conceive. Which I did all the doctors checks, ovaries , utures, Fallopian tubes, pap, all normal. But I am at high risk of hypothyroid which my doctor said that it does not affect us to have a child. I love husband to death I can't live without him, he wants children more than anyone but he's not trying... I'm sorry about the loooong story , but I gotta try with him if it takes me forever.... Don't get sad it's just a matter of the right time.

In the question "you act like want the baby ? "

means do you want the baby because you want the baby or you want the baby because people want it

Or you want the baby because people look at you in different way because you dont have it till now

DONT LET PEOPLE AFFECT ON

You are normal trust me but you are not patient look at my previous post for you and let start this simple program to solve any problem

 

[Hopeful214]

baby222 I love ur outlook and motivation..!!

 

[baby222]

baby222 I love ur outlook and motivation..!!

we need to help each others Hopeful214

 

[samoorah1983]

Hi I am on the same boat as well. this our 3rd year of marriage, our anniversary is in July. I am 28 and husband 29. Both healthy. When we first got married I wanted to wait a couple of months before we try, we started talking about how cute our baby would look like when we have em, he would talk about how he wants a cute little girl and how they're so sweet and caring, rather than a boy because boys are trouble makers Lool.. So whenever I feel we have a fertile time he would just say I am tired, my legs hurt, I'm full, I'm sleepy and on and on. I don't blame my husband he works his ass off... But problem is I try to hold it off right to when I ovulate, he'll do it once or twice and stop... My cycle is not regulated, it ranges from 28 -30 or 34 depends, so my ovulation time pushes backwards and forward.. I have been riding this train till now... Every single month that passed by ever since we got married we ALWAYS miss our window ALWAYS!! Why? Because he's tired, and then he tells me oh you got your period?? I'm devastated!! I get upset and he makes me feel like I'm the one with problems and maybe it's just me that I can't conceive. Which I did all the doctors checks, ovaries , utures, Fallopian tubes, pap, all normal. But I am at high risk of hypothyroid which my doctor said that it does not affect us to have a child. I love husband to death I can't live without him, he wants children more than anyone but he's not trying... I'm sorry about the loooong story , but I gotta try with him if it takes me forever.... Don't get sad it's just a matter of the right time.

In the question "you act like want the baby ? "

means do you want the baby because you want the baby or you want the baby because people want it

Or you want the baby because people look at you in different way because you dont have it till now

DONT LET PEOPLE AFFECT ON

You are normal trust me but you are not patient look at my previous post for you and let start this simple program to solve any problem

Hi baby222 Thank You for your motivation and support as of believing and praying.. I am doing that too... But it's hard when there's a lack of intimacy when it comes to baby making or let alone have intimacy... My husband works night shifts , comes home at 7 in the morning... I get up at 7 get ready to go to work. Our problems doesn't concern people how they think of us , or when we should haves baby, it's our concern and we both have to deal with it. Whoever is outside our bubble does not concern us whether it's friends or family. As of health issues were both healthy. I on the other hand am at high risk of hypothyroid, but that does not stop me from getting pregnant. I did all the testings more than 3 times , I understand it's god willing to have children. But we are the issue of not completing the assignment or even trying to put effort in completing the tasks in life. For an example, why do we work? Why do we eat? Why do we sleep? Everything has a reason of all the things that we do in life and we always thank god for our jobs that we have to provide us and put a roof on top of our heads. But we made that happen . My main point is as for people to get what they want, they have to try, whether it's work, babies, success, school anything... Everything is in our hand. And again thanks for your motivation.