I don't like you!

[kellyc1987]

I'm looking for some ideas/suggestions. My 2.5yo is going through a phase of saying "I don't like you" to me, his dad and my mum.

He has become more angry, gritting his teeth and shouting, he has also picked up some swear words from MIL

Me and his dad have just separated and me and LO have moved into a new house so I'm not sure if it's all the change causing him to act out or if it's part of the terrible two's.

What do you ladies do/ what would you do if your LO was telling you they didn't like you/swearing?

 

[misspriss]

I'm looking for some ideas/suggestions. My 2.5yo is going through a phase of saying "I don't like you" to me, his dad and my mum.

He has become more angry, gritting his teeth and shouting, he has also picked up some swear words from MIL

Me and his dad have just separated and me and LO have moved into a new house so I'm not sure if it's all the change causing him to act out or if it's part of the terrible two's.

What do you ladies do/ what would you do if your LO was telling you they didn't like you/swearing?

"I can see you are upset, you do not have to like me, but I will always love you". Or "that makes me feel sad, I love you though". Try to remain calm, he is trying to get a reaction out of you.

With cursing/bad words, ignore, ignore, ignore - they WANT you to tell them off.

 

[misspriss]

For older kids, time out is effective for curbing bad behavior if you are still having a problem. I usually do not mind my kids expressing their feelings in words (like saying "I do not like you"), they have valid feelings of frustration and they need to express them. Curse words are different, if my 4 year old persisted to use an ugly word (what we call them) after being told not to, just to be insolent, he would get a time out. Hasn't happened, but I wouldn't put it past him. He is 4 though and has much better understanding and more control of his emotions, and a better ability to communicate them.

 

[Milina]

I agree with Misspriss. He is just trying to get some reactions out of you. If you stay calm he soon will loos interest in provoking with this kind of Actions.

 

[SarahBear]

It sounds like this is his way of expressing anger. He doesn't really understand what he's saying and just needs to be given appropriate words. I would just repeat back something appropriate such as "You're mad." Be consistent about repeating back the appropriate phrase and he'll probably pick up on it. I wouldn't give the inappropriate phrase or words any real attention. I'd focus more on modeling appropriate words at this age. Maybe even tell him "Say 'I'm mad'" That way you're directly prompting him to practice appropriate ways of expressing his feelings. If he's soothed by hugs, I would also offer one.

 

[Scout]

When dd has said that she doesn't like me, I've always told her that I know she's mad and it's okay if she doesn't like me right now. I always tell her I love her.
With swearing, I correct her. She responds well to that. She's older though and didn't have any swear words until she started school this year at age 4.

 

[wisenfabulous]

Most children show strong reactions to parents' choice of separation/divorce. Especially over a period of one or two years following separation-children demonstrate severe emotional and behavioral problems. Most likely he really doesn't understand or like your choice of "living in a new house separately from his dad" and cant really communicate his feelings. It can also be a cartoon he has watched: my kids picked up "I hate this or that" from watching Caillou. As for swearing, I would suggest not allowing anyone to swear around your children - if they cant respect that then they shouldn't be in your sons life.

 

[kellyc1987]

Most children show strong reactions to parents' choice of separation/divorce. Especially over a period of one or two years following separation-children demonstrate severe emotional and behavioral problems. Most likely he really doesn't understand or like your choice of "living in a new house separately from his dad" and cant really communicate his feelings. It can also be a cartoon he has watched: my kids picked up "I hate this or that" from watching Caillou. As for swearing, I would suggest not allowing anyone to swear around your children - if they cant respect that then they shouldn't be in your sons life.

Oh I know where he has got the "I don't like you" from, my aunt looks after him when I'm at work and she also looks after my niece and nephew (6yo and 10yo) who fight like cat and dog and probably say this to each other... also with MIL swearing she was driving and someone cut her up and she swore but I agree if someone can't control themselves swearing I would keep him away from them as much as possible.

Thanks everyone, I guess I'll just have to tough it out and keep reminding him that I love him and am here for him no matter what