I hate ivf

[~LJ~]

Hey I have posted here afew times, but only just noticed that there is now an Assisted Reproduction Area.

I have been doing IVF since I was 25, 3 times in total and all failed

Both me and DH are the same age, and we have been trying naturally since we were 20 with no such luck, there is nothing wrong with us either just unexplained and we are both fit and healthy.

Its sole destroying, some days i just wish there was a reason behind why it isnt happening...

1ST CYCLE - FRESH

Collected 10 Eggs all EXCELLENT QUALITY, and all fertilised and developed to Grade A Blastocysts! Due to our age and the quality of the blasts, and the high chance of pregnancy they decided to do a single Blast Transfer... but i started bleeding near to the test date

2ND CYCLE - FROZEN

They started to thaw out the remainder embryos, 2 Died not surviving the thaw and then 2 others survived and were graded okay... I think it was 2 C's they were graded as. Anyway i got a negative result on test date.

3RD CYCLE -FROZEN

They thawed out all the remainder embryos and only 2 survived... they were graded at a B+ and C - both were transferred... THis was the first cycle where i felt it had worked so i tested 5 days early and got a faint positive ... 2 days later i tested again and it was negative So my official test date was 2 days later and due to the discrepency with results the hospital run a blood test.. aparantly the hormone in my blood stream was higher than normal which indicated at some point a pregnancy had existed.


Iv tried everything, we have eaten organic and not processed foods, we have done light to moderate excersize while on treatment, on the 2WW sometimes i dont move from the house, the next time iv tried to be normal and go back to work, iv tried acupuncture, hypnotherapy and reflexology.

Had my follow up appointment and the hospital have agreed in the new year to let me do a double blast - heres hoping they get super dooper eggs again, meanwhile am trying to shift more weight (the hospital said am a good bmi for my height but if i can drop another 5lbs it will be beneficial), going to start up my hypnotherapy, acupuncture and reflexology AGAIN.

Iv read every IVF book under the sun that its driving me crazy.

Worse still i feel so jelous of these older women with problems who cant conceive - and i know its awful thinking these things because they have been trying alot longer - I guess its more to do with the fact that specialists say if you drop weight, if your under 30, if your healthy, if you eat organic, if your relaxed then it will work.

But its clearly not - FRUSTRATING

 

[bugs]

Didn't want to read and run hun, Sorry you are feeling so low xxx
If I've learnt anything about IVF it's that it is a lottery there are no reasons or explanations to why it works for some quickly and others it can take several cycles. All I know is that if there wasn't IVF i would not be able to have the chance to try for children at all and I have every faith that the consultants do their best to make it work. Good Luck for your next cycle and be positive xxxx

 

[fluffystar]

Hi Hunny,

Sorry if you are having such a rough time at the moment You will find lot of support on these threads, I have found everyone so very supportive. Do keep posting, you dont have to go through all this on your own.

love fluffy xx

 

[caroleb73]

Hi LJ,

If I am totally honest I would say I hate all of this TTC nonsense as it takes over your life in every concieveable way but no matter how painful and emotionally draining it is I cannot give up. DH and I want a baby more than anything and I am sure that you are the same. You are right that it doesn't make sense that some people fall pregnant at the drop of a hat or IVF works first time but then I don't think there is any sense in all of this.

All we can do is keep trying as it is a game of odds and someday our luck will change and we will be the ones with a gorgeous baby of our own. You have to keep faith that you are young, your eggs are good quality and that it will happen. I am 37 and about to start IVF in the next few weeks I have been told that my egg reserve is lower than they expect for my age but I have to believe that this will work for us, maybe not the first time but eventually we will get there.

I accept that for the time being that my life is not normal, I call myself the science project as that is how I feel most of the time with constant scans, bloods etc but hey when this is all over and done with and I have a baby none of this nonsense will even matter. It will all be insignificant compared to our babies.

Keep your spirits up and find a group of people on this site that you can share your bad days with as it really does help to share with people who really do know how you feel. Remember you are doing everything that you possibly can to make this happen but TTC has no logic it is like the lottery but we all have a chance of winning that jackpot.

Take care

 

[~LJ~]

Aww thanks everyone for your lovely comments! Was having abit of a down day yesterday.

I do want a baby more than anything in the world but IVF is taking it's toll on me emotionally. I find the whole treatment actually doubts me wanting a baby as I know if it fails again how il feel and it takes me months to get back to "normal"

In Round 1 I took it really badly, Round 2 when it failed I also found out my husband had bought us a brand new house in the country so this took my mind off the fail. Third time round I felt emotionally strong and positive and with the results comin back the way they did it totally knocked me down gain

 

[looknomore]

Hey LJ

All this TTC business is very frustrating and heartbreaking. You say you guys fall in the Unexplained Category. I was wondering if u have gone through a Laparoscopy. I say this because my DH and I were under undiagnosed for so long, till I had a Lap and was diagnosed with Endo. Almost 60% of unexplained infertility is because of endo.

Please do not lose heart. A lot of ppl conceive after multiple tries at IVF. I have had 4 unsuccessful IUIs and have mentally prepared myself for a BFN this IVF cycle. I have decided to try one more IVf in 2011 and then move on to adoption.

xx

 

[~LJ~]

Hey LJ

All this TTC business is very frustrating and heartbreaking. You say you guys fall in the Unexplained Category. I was wondering if u have gone through a Laparoscopy. I say this because my DH and I were under undiagnosed for so long, till I had a Lap and was diagnosed with Endo. Almost 60% of unexplained infertility is because of endo.

Please do not lose heart. A lot of ppl conceive after multiple tries at IVF. I have had 4 unsuccessful IUIs and have mentally prepared myself for a BFN this IVF cycle. I have decided to try one more IVf in 2011 and then move on to adoption.

xx

Hey chic yeah iv had 3 done not came back with everything, iv done all the routine tests and even paid for DNA Analysis.again nothing

It is frustrating I just wish there was a reason behind it.

Adoption is one of the things am now considering.... I think 2011 is defo my last year of IVF as that will have been 3 years i have been doing it.