I have been thinking

[motherofboys]

what is it that makes us want a certain gender? have you always dreamt of a son or daughter? is it because you want a certain bond that you had, or missed out on with your own parents? is it because you already have one gender and want to even the balance?

I only have brothers, always got on better with boys and men (not in a flirty way either, just as friends) I was not even close to my mum. I preferred boys toys, and boys clothes, I absolutely could not stand the colour pink.
I thought the idea of a boy first as a protective big brother would be perfect. I was the eldest and the victim of abuse and always wished I had an older brother to look after me, used to imagine that he would stand up for me, stop the person from hurting me, instead of me being the one trying to keep everyone else safe.
I always thought if I had a girl I hoped she would be a Tom boy like I was. there was no way she was wearing pink and frilly dresses. I would have her out climbing trees and learning to ride a skate board.

the memory of this came to me tonight when I was watching Avengers Assemble with my boys. I thought how glad I am I have boys because I would miss out on all these things I enjoy like super heroes and football. even though I know girls do like that stuff too (obviously, as I like them myself)
I have spent the last 3year's liking at girls toys thinking how great it would be to buy something different, have some variety. even the colour pink has started to appeal to me. and any daughter I had would have at least 3big brothers to look after her and now I hope for the sake of variety she would be a little bit girly at least lol though having brothers may not help lol

and then it hit me. maybe it's a good thing, maybe as I keep saying in every other aspect of my life, all things happen for a reason. it's taken 3boys to make me want and appreciate any girl that might come along as it wasn't even until after we started ttc number 4that I wanted a girl, with number 3 it was for DH and DS1 sake that I hoped, rather than for myself.
I keep thinking about wanting a girl and that I might feel disappointment if I had another boy, and forgot how great it is having boys.
I still hope for a girl one day, but just had a moment of clarity I wanted to share.

 

[Eleanor ace]

For me its a lot of things, big things and small things. For example: knowing what a girl child of mine and DHs would look like. Giving my DH that daddy daughter relationship. Having a mother daughter relationship like I have with my mum. The balance that having a daughter can bring to a family (in my family the dynamics really change when I'm home as opposed to when it's just my brothers and my parents). Giving MIL a granddaughter (she has 2 sons and has made no secret that she'd like to buy "girl" things). I had/have a close bond with my brothers and I think we found it easier to get on as we were different genders.
Lots of things!

 

[_jellybean_]

I have an amazing mother/daughter relationship with my mom. She is my ROCK. Seriously. So...I really wanted a girl, but...

my husband takes care of me, as I am disabled. He does everything--cooks, cleans, etc. Also, he is the kindest, most loving, patient, caring person that I know. I really wanted a son so that he could do guy things with him like camping, sports, etc.

Being able to give my husband a son trumped anything I felt about wanting a daughter. That's why I wanted each. xx