motherofboys
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- Apr 10, 2012
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what is it that makes us want a certain gender? have you always dreamt of a son or daughter? is it because you want a certain bond that you had, or missed out on with your own parents? is it because you already have one gender and want to even the balance?
I only have brothers, always got on better with boys and men (not in a flirty way either, just as friends) I was not even close to my mum. I preferred boys toys, and boys clothes, I absolutely could not stand the colour pink.
I thought the idea of a boy first as a protective big brother would be perfect. I was the eldest and the victim of abuse and always wished I had an older brother to look after me, used to imagine that he would stand up for me, stop the person from hurting me, instead of me being the one trying to keep everyone else safe.
I always thought if I had a girl I hoped she would be a Tom boy like I was. there was no way she was wearing pink and frilly dresses. I would have her out climbing trees and learning to ride a skate board.
the memory of this came to me tonight when I was watching Avengers Assemble with my boys. I thought how glad I am I have boys because I would miss out on all these things I enjoy like super heroes and football. even though I know girls do like that stuff too (obviously, as I like them myself)
I have spent the last 3year's liking at girls toys thinking how great it would be to buy something different, have some variety. even the colour pink has started to appeal to me. and any daughter I had would have at least 3big brothers to look after her and now I hope for the sake of variety she would be a little bit girly at least lol though having brothers may not help lol
and then it hit me. maybe it's a good thing, maybe as I keep saying in every other aspect of my life, all things happen for a reason. it's taken 3boys to make me want and appreciate any girl that might come along as it wasn't even until after we started ttc number 4that I wanted a girl, with number 3 it was for DH and DS1 sake that I hoped, rather than for myself.
I keep thinking about wanting a girl and that I might feel disappointment if I had another boy, and forgot how great it is having boys.
I still hope for a girl one day, but just had a moment of clarity I wanted to share.
I only have brothers, always got on better with boys and men (not in a flirty way either, just as friends) I was not even close to my mum. I preferred boys toys, and boys clothes, I absolutely could not stand the colour pink.
I thought the idea of a boy first as a protective big brother would be perfect. I was the eldest and the victim of abuse and always wished I had an older brother to look after me, used to imagine that he would stand up for me, stop the person from hurting me, instead of me being the one trying to keep everyone else safe.
I always thought if I had a girl I hoped she would be a Tom boy like I was. there was no way she was wearing pink and frilly dresses. I would have her out climbing trees and learning to ride a skate board.
the memory of this came to me tonight when I was watching Avengers Assemble with my boys. I thought how glad I am I have boys because I would miss out on all these things I enjoy like super heroes and football. even though I know girls do like that stuff too (obviously, as I like them myself)
I have spent the last 3year's liking at girls toys thinking how great it would be to buy something different, have some variety. even the colour pink has started to appeal to me. and any daughter I had would have at least 3big brothers to look after her and now I hope for the sake of variety she would be a little bit girly at least lol though having brothers may not help lol
and then it hit me. maybe it's a good thing, maybe as I keep saying in every other aspect of my life, all things happen for a reason. it's taken 3boys to make me want and appreciate any girl that might come along as it wasn't even until after we started ttc number 4that I wanted a girl, with number 3 it was for DH and DS1 sake that I hoped, rather than for myself.
I keep thinking about wanting a girl and that I might feel disappointment if I had another boy, and forgot how great it is having boys.
I still hope for a girl one day, but just had a moment of clarity I wanted to share.