I really need encouragement from my TTC friends..DH dropped a bomb..

[shawnie]

Awww Mama first of all big to you.... It's tough TTC and not stressing about things. My man wasn't very nice on OV day for me either, we ended up in a little spat and didn't get to BD that day. He later told me hes just feeling very overwhelmed to be "on demand" so much... I think with your DH texting you like that says allot. Sounds like he's thinking of what he did allot and feeling bad. I do think you both need to communicate how each other is feeling for sure... I hope he brings you home some flowers....

 

[Megg33k]

Well, I think he must be crazy to not be wild about you! You seem to be a very kind-hearted and loving person, and you're absolutely gorgeous from your avatar pic. If he doesn't snap out of this, it's a bit his loss, isn't it?

I do so hope that he'll see the err of his ways and realize what he has and could easily lose. However, don't sacrifice your own happiness because you feel you should wait for him to decide how he feels. You have feelings too and, quite frankly, deserve to be treated better than this. There is a whole world out there, and it doesn't revolve around him... regardless of his stress level. He needs to think about what he wants, but someone has to consider what you truly want and need in life. I do hope it works out for you in the end, hun!

P.S. I know I said that I do this same thing from time to time, but it never lasts for more than a few hours and I always cop to the fact that I didn't mean any of it. So, I would like to retract my statement that I do the "same thing."

 

[41zipster]

I've had the same too - I think they feel a little used - that we only want them to produce the goods - my DH has basically said that to me. We were supposed to BD today being the Big O day but it simply wasn't happening, no matter how much I pushed it. We managed it Friday - so I am hoping it was enuf!!! aaaggghh! I am sure he will be fine, you guys are gonna have to sit down and talk about it frankly... no pussy footing around..

Good luck hunny.... I know its frustrating but all will be good in the end.

 

[sar35]

awww its a tough time ttc and a lot of pressure on both partners..... hope it all works out for you x

 

[Mama4]

Thanks to everyone for your sweet words of encouragement...I really appreciate it! The weekend has gone just fine really...like I said in a previous post on this thread, on the surface all is well. I mean really, he acts as if nothing hurtful was ever said...its strange to me really. I am a very matter of fact realistic person. I dont like guessing games or beating around the bush. Nor do I like being yanked around by my heart.

What can I say? I knew he was an odd one when I married him so I suppose I will get on my hip waders and start digging out of this mess...one day at a time. I hope to find a way to communicate better with him. Its very obvious to me that COMPLETE LACK of communication has led him to this wacked place he is. Believe me I try and try to talk to him, but he never talks back. Told him I cant read his bloomin mind so if something is eatin at him he may as well spit it out as it happens. Not a chance in hell of that happening based on our past but hey, theres always tomorrow! Hope everyone of you has had a good weekend!

 

[impatient1]

Hope that he can work on opening up his communication with you to help your relationship. Best of luck hun

 

[shawnie]

Been thinking of you Mama.. BIG to you. I wish I could give you some words to fill your heart and make you feel better...I agree completely that communication is a huge thing in any relationship.. It's not easy for anyone to sit and listen to someone when they want to say something before it's forgot. Just don't forget you are loved and cared for hun. xoxo

 

[Amos2009]

How are you doing today Mama?? Thinking about you...

 

[BranDivah]

Hey...I'm a bit of a newbie and don't really know anyone yet, but I was just browsing the MB here and came across your thread and I just wanted to tell you how much I am feelin for ya right now. I know how it is having to communicate with someone who is difficult to communicate with. I adore my DH but there are just times when we just can't get across anything to one another.
Anyhow I didn't want to just lurk in here and not say anything.
I hope things get better for you! *hugs

 

[Caterpiller]

I think you should change your status to:
"Over 35 and TTC #6



P.S. - I think he's enjoying the attention, and is milking it for all its worth - just be normal with him, he's an adult and should stop using childish tactics to get to you - what example is he setting for his kids.

 

[dt1234565]

Sometimes its well woth going to relate to discuss your communication issure, its just if he is willing.

You will need to communicate well when baby comes along.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[ricschick]

so sorry you dh is being an arse! maybe you should start treating him the way he is treating you or act as if you dont care maybe that will give him a bit of a shock as it seems he is calling all the shots. i hope things get better hun xx

 

[catherineq87]

oh dear im so sorry! let us know how it goes and good luck xxxxx

 

[flakey]

I am so sorry for all u been through, but you need to sit think and talk about it. Obviously this has been on for a while and you really need to be realistic, have a non teary talk with ur DH and find out exactly what is wrong and then find out if he is willing to work at it.
Sweetie, i know it's tough but it's a two way thing and you need to deal with whatever is going on in his head/mind.
We are here for you ................

 

[Mama4]

I think you should change your status to:
"Over 35 and TTC #6


P.S. - I think he's enjoying the attention, and is milking it for all its worth - just be normal with him, he's an adult and should stop using childish tactics to get to you - what example is he setting for his kids.

Caterpiller thats the funniest thing!!! TTC #6 is about right! hahaha! Thanks so much for making me laugh out loud this morning! I've learned that men can SERIOUSLY be childish if they feel like they arent getting enough attention. Whew, Im having a great big chuckle over your comment...tee-hee...

To everyone who has posted on this thread in the day or so since I last said anything- thanks so much for your encouraging words! They mean alot to me-

The DH is behaving somewhat better but he has definitely been calling the shots and well, Im not standing for it much longer. I know he has just had his little hissy to get his way cause he claims he is tired of me "getting on to him about things all the time" I also know that the things I've been on him about are all justified and bottom line is he needs to grow up! I think his hateful words were nothing more than "fighting dirty" and well, if he feels like walking away instead of dealing with our issues and working on it together - so be it. This too shall pass...

Im ok guys!! Im feeling stronger and Im going to ask him to go to counseling with me. Even though we've only been married a short while, we are in our 5th year together and things have always been a bit dysfunctional with us. Heck even if he wont go, I think I will to just to learn how to better deal with his annoying ass!

Hope everyone is doing well and Im wishing all who are TTC loads of babydust!!!!!

 

[Zen_Jenn]

Hi Mama4,
Glad to hear y'all are considering counseling, I have a lot of friends who've gone through it, and it's definitely helpful. I'm fairly sure that at some point my DH and I will go as well. It helps to have someone to talk to as well. Good luck with your DH!
- Jenn

 

[MissChris]

Sweet Mama!!

Just got on BnB after taking a bit of a hiatus, and this was one of the first things I saw. So sorry you're going through this!!

I took a break for a while because I was going through the same thing with OH. Like you, one minute, everything is great, I'm cooking up what an awesome time we're going to have when he gets home from work, go to the trouble to get Nair-bare-down-there, etc., then everything goes completely bass ackwards from what I'd planned because he's randomly decided to play "Tailspin Christy." Fun. Fun. Evidently, life being relaxed and happy for too long is the equivalent of watching paint dry for him. It gets 10x better when he acts like nothing happened and I had some sort of epileptic, Linda Blair moment, which, he simply sat on the sidelines and offered any support he could until the exorcism was complete. Yeah, that really calms me down and patches things up. Emotional maturity at it's finest, folks.

We've only been together for 3 years, but sounds like a lot of the situations are the same as yours (even the stupid exes-- if I didn't know better, I'd think they were the same person!). I'm on FB (facebook.com/mydogsrock) more than here (much easier to get work done!!), if you need to vent or just want to chat.

Oh, to top it all off, pretty sure I'm OVing today. So, I've got that going for me, which is nice. (Don't know if you listen to country music, but I keep hearing that Carrie Underwood song in my head-- "Wasted." Except the words to my version are more like, "...so, there goes a-no-ther egggg...wa-sted!" Sh!t. Maybe I AM the crazy one. ha!)

Chin up, love. You are an amazing woman and you deserve to be treated with love and respect. Those are basic needs, so don't ever let him make you feel like that's asking too much.

Hope your week is getting better!

xx

Chris

 

[Amos2009]

OMG Chris.....I will never listen to that Carrie Underwood song the same ever again!!!

 

[MissChris]

OMG Chris.....I will never listen to that Carrie Underwood song the same ever again!!!

Haha! Sorry, Amos! Welcome to my madness....

 

[Amos2009]

Oh, don't apologize! It makes the song much better!!