Sweet Mama!!
Just got on BnB after taking a bit of a hiatus, and this was one of the first things I saw.
So sorry you're going through this!!
I took a break for a while because I was going through the same thing with OH. Like you, one minute, everything is great, I'm cooking up what an awesome time we're going to have when he gets home from work, go to the trouble to get Nair-bare-down-there, etc., then everything goes completely bass ackwards from what I'd planned because he's randomly decided to play "Tailspin Christy." Fun. Fun. Evidently, life being relaxed and happy for too long is the equivalent of watching paint dry for him. It gets 10x better when he acts like nothing happened and I had some sort of epileptic, Linda Blair moment, which, he simply sat on the sidelines and offered any support he could until the exorcism was complete. Yeah, that really calms me down and patches things up. Emotional maturity at it's finest, folks.
We've only been together for 3 years, but sounds like a lot of the situations are the same as yours (even the stupid exes-- if I didn't know better, I'd think they were the same person!). I'm on FB (facebook.com/mydogsrock) more than here (much easier to get work done!!), if you need to vent or just want to chat.
Oh, to top it all off, pretty sure I'm OVing today. So, I've got that going for me, which is nice. (Don't know if you listen to country music, but I keep hearing that Carrie Underwood song in my head-- "Wasted." Except the words to my version are more like, "...so, there goes a-no-ther egggg...wa-sted!" Sh!t. Maybe I AM the crazy one. ha!)
Chin up, love. You are an amazing woman and you deserve to be treated with love and respect. Those are basic needs, so don't ever let him make you feel like that's asking too much.
Hope your week is getting better!
xx
Chris