I think we need a bad day sticky thread

[OvenBunWanted]

In a way it would be a lot easier to "get a man in to do it" I think sometimes

OvenBun when you're past the stage of literally wanting to throttle him he needs to get the message good and proper, sometimes this takes a while (how long have you been TTC?)

Butterfly sorry you are having a totally shitty day not much I can say sometimes the universe just craps on a person

Thanks NorthStar We've technically been trying since August (the month we got married) but as we've been together for over 9 years, there have been many discussions about starting a family. He had said so many times that he was looking forward to TTC but now it's all arguments about sex. I'll be perfectly honest and say that he's never had the best libido but now it's even worse. He is so wrapped up in his phone that I can hardly even talk to him...any interruption sets him off...especially me initating sex.

 

[NorthStar]

My OH was a bit casual about the timing thing the first month or two till I sat him down and forced him to watch a conception video (and I DON'T mean a porno) and explained the whole 12 hours and egg is dead scenario.

Basically you have to put the fear of god into them, sadly.

 

[Jax41]

Right, I need to post here today. Feeling crappy. Why do we get these stupid lines that are not really there? In a way I am glad I got it as just for a little while I had some hope but of course as usual that is shot in the foot by another BFN Today should be a good day but now I feel so sh*t I just finished off all the biscuits and now feel Tomorrow is my birthday - it was always supposed to be a special one as I will be 44 on 11/11/11 but now it is turning crap because a) none of my friends are around b) 44 should really be the end of my ttc journey c) AF is due d) my lodger has just informed me that he has the day off so the fun I was planning with the ex who was going to come up for my Bday is now on hold e) my mum has just advised me that I need to stay with her for the ONE F*CKING DAY that I will O next month which will be more than likely my last shot.

f*ck I hate this.

and I am broke

Oh Butterfly!! I'm so sorry you're having a totally crappy day. Okay, so you can't change tomorrow, unfortunately, it's gonna happen....but couldn't you let your Mum know that's it's just not a good day. My Mum invites me over for dinner and I have to admit, no can do cos 'tonight's the night'!!

I hate it all too, and am heading for the same problems as Ovenbun, I can feel my mid-month melt down warming up already....

Ovenbun, I know EXACTLY how you feel I had this problem last month and am hoping not to get a repeat as although my DH has 3 kids already I don't think he has a clue about the magic 12 hours and maximising your chances (there again his chances 24 years ago were sooo much better than now!), he thinks I'm just a sex pest and yes we argue about it too!

Massive hugs to both of you today, I'm thinking about you both xXx

 

[Butterfly67]

Thanks Jax, unfortunately she has a hospital appointment and needs someone to stay overnight and of course it has to fall on that day

Hope you manage to get him onside this month Jax

OvenBun why do they make it so hard?

 

[OvenBunWanted]

Thanks Jax, unfortunately she has a hospital appointment and needs someone to stay overnight and of course it has to fall on that day

Hope you manage to get him onside this month Jax

OvenBun why do they make it so hard?

I know right! As if it isn't hard enough dealing with the misgivings of nature they have to add to the stress! I was so upset that I hardly got any sleep and now today I'm feeling like complete shite. At least I have all you lovely and understanding ladies

 

[peacebaby]

ovenbun maca works fabulously make sure its good quality though, trust me all his tech gadgets won't stand up to a double dose of it! plus it's really good for the swimmers. the fun part is that he will actually think it's all up to him, as if he is choosing the right time! men just don't get it do they? so reverse psychology is often the only option. oh and that video idea is brilliant too...fx'd for you, he'll come round to it however you decide to deal with it.

butterfly, sorry, hope things get better soon... is there someone else who stay with your mom for the night, a good friend or relative?

 

[readyformore]

Ovenbun-Have you tried a more direct approach? Don't talk or ask at all. Just go for the goods.
I am thinking VERY direct. Like, put your face in his pants direct. He just may set down his phone. I may or may not know this from personal experience.

If he doesn't, then I think you have the right to give him a good hard kick to the nuts!!

Dang men!

 

[NorthStar]

Look once my OH got the message he was absolutely fine, he flat out asks me now if it's TTC sex or not - he's a very direct kind of bloke.

And he's generally willing but often that willingness occurs between 03:00 - 05:00 as in AM - he's a nightwalker!

But you have to give 'em the message that it's shagging first and gadgets later.

 

[readyformore]

Or, while he's reading his phone, you could always go to the bedroom with your phone, take some 'self portraits' and send him a phone message.

Again, I may or may not know this from experience. But, if I had tried it, I am guessing that I would have heard foot steps coming my way after 2 pictures.

 

[OvenBunWanted]

Ovenbun-Have you tried a more direct approach? Don't talk or ask at all. Just go for the goods.
I am thinking VERY direct. Like, put your face in his pants direct. He just may set down his phone. I may or may not know this from personal experience.

If he doesn't, then I think you have the right to give him a good hard kick to the nuts!!

Dang men!

I nearly just peed myself reading that!! I haven't tried face in the pants direct but I have tried a little tickle to the twig and berries direct Unfortunately he's not a really sexual person so I immediately get the "leave me alone" response. I think I may just have to get a wee bit more sneaky and slip him some maca It is safe right?? He may be a sloth but he's still my sloth...

 

[OvenBunWanted]

Look once my OH got the message he was absolutely fine, he flat out asks me now if it's TTC sex or not - he's a very direct kind of bloke.

And he's generally willing but often that willingness occurs between 03:00 - 05:00 as in AM - he's a nightwalker!

But you have to give 'em the message that it's shagging first and gadgets later.

You are totally right! Whether it's regarding shagging or just conversation, I really need to put my foot down regarding that phone. I should definitely be more important than a gadget! Hmmm, I think I'm going to enforce a no BlackBerry in the bed rule

 

[OvenBunWanted]

Right, I need to post here today. Feeling crappy. Why do we get these stupid lines that are not really there? In a way I am glad I got it as just for a little while I had some hope but of course as usual that is shot in the foot by another BFN Today should be a good day but now I feel so sh*t I just finished off all the biscuits and now feel Tomorrow is my birthday - it was always supposed to be a special one as I will be 44 on 11/11/11 but now it is turning crap because a) none of my friends are around b) 44 should really be the end of my ttc journey c) AF is due d) my lodger has just informed me that he has the day off so the fun I was planning with the ex who was going to come up for my Bday is now on hold e) my mum has just advised me that I need to stay with her for the ONE F*CKING DAY that I will O next month which will be more than likely my last shot.

f*ck I hate this.

and I am broke

Oh Butterfly!! I'm so sorry you're having a totally crappy day. Okay, so you can't change tomorrow, unfortunately, it's gonna happen....but couldn't you let your Mum know that's it's just not a good day. My Mum invites me over for dinner and I have to admit, no can do cos 'tonight's the night'!!

I hate it all too, and am heading for the same problems as Ovenbun, I can feel my mid-month melt down warming up already....

Ovenbun, I know EXACTLY how you feel I had this problem last month and am hoping not to get a repeat as although my DH has 3 kids already I don't think he has a clue about the magic 12 hours and maximising your chances (there again his chances 24 years ago were sooo much better than now!), he thinks I'm just a sex pest and yes we argue about it too!

Massive hugs to both of you today, I'm thinking about you both xXx

Thanks Jax I hope the month gets better for us both. My DH doesn't know it yet but he's getting a proper earful tonight If they don't get their arses in gear I vote we all just form a club and lock the boys away in a room together

 

[OvenBunWanted]

Or, while he's reading his phone, you could always go to the bedroom with your phone, take some 'self portraits' and send him a phone message.

Again, I may or may not know this from experience. But, if I had tried it, I am guessing that I would have heard foot steps coming my way after 2 pictures.

That is awesome! I may just have to give it a go...though knowing my luck I'd shag up royally and send them to my boss Note to self: delete all previous text contacts in phone before sending cheeky photos

 

[NorthStar]

No worries, well for me I could care less if D wants to stay up all night playing PGA Golf on the Playstation, I'll be in bed reading my own gadget (ebook) and then sleeping at night, like a normal person. I should mention that he works offshore so his sleeping pattern is most unlike mine, and when he's home he's not working at all so CAN stay up all night.

But if it's Ov time it's sex first - he understands this. He likes sex though so it's not a huge problem, and occasionally I will agree to this middle of the night business just to keep the interest levels up

No point being subtle with blokes, ready is right.

 

[Sus09]

Hi ladies!

First of all I have to thank Dmom for hilighting this thread.

I had a terrible week, I got really upset. Lot of things have upset me, a big one bein my job, but TTC also played a big part in it all.

It was my fertile week this week, I had lots of EWCM this cycle. I have not had it for few cycles, also a nice positive OPK, (btw I found out now that my surge lasts 12 hours) and there is me all happy thinking this cycle we have a good chance!

Me and my OH get all ready to BD... and then he has performance issues, night after night. He could start but would lose his performance half way through not managing to succeed not even once. So we totally missed our cycle

The worse thing is I get all upset because it is not easy for me to get pergnant, because he made me wait a year before trying and now he could not perform, missing my opportunity. And he gets all upset because he is letting me down, cos he feels selfish for making me wait, guilty cos he can´t perform, creating a vicious circle where we both get upset.

He has been extremely affectionate with me, I am getting spoilt now, and last night we managed to BD and perform after the poor guy tried several times. We probably missed the egg, but also with the stress we both had no chance to catch it!!

Anyway, he now has agreed to take suplements, I read here Maca helps? where can I get good quality Maca in the UK?

I feel so shitty, useless and frustrated. I read I am not alone here, and I do feel for you ladies who have missed their cycles due to similar reasons so to you all.

 

[Sus09]

Butterfly, Ovenbun....

 

[dachsundmom]

 

[readyformore]

Hi ladies!

First of all I have to thank Dmom for hilighting this thread.

I had a terrible week, I got really upset. Lot of things have upset me, a big one bein my job, but TTC also played a big part in it all.

It was my fertile week this week, I had lots of EWCM this cycle. I have not had it for few cycles, also a nice positive OPK, (btw I found out now that my surge lasts 12 hours) and there is me all happy thinking this cycle we have a good chance!

Me and my OH get all ready to BD... and then he has performance issues, night after night. He could start but would lose his performance half way through not managing to succeed not even once. So we totally missed our cycle

The worse thing is I get all upset because it is not easy for me to get pergnant, because he made me wait a year before trying and now he could not perform, missing my opportunity. And he gets all upset because he is letting me down, cos he feels selfish for making me wait, guilty cos he can´t perform, creating a vicious circle where we both get upset.

He has been extremely affectionate with me, I am getting spoilt now, and last night we managed to BD and perform after the poor guy tried several times. We probably missed the egg, but also with the stress we both had no chance to catch it!!

Anyway, he now has agreed to take suplements, I read here Maca helps? where can I get good quality Maca in the UK?

I feel so shitty, useless and frustrated. I read I am not alone here, and I do feel for you ladies who have missed their cycles due to similar reasons so to you all.

Sus

My DH and I have been together for 16 years. Honestly, I didn't even know that men could have performance anxiety until 2 years ago when my friend told me about her husband's issues.

Then, a few months ago, things spun out of control and my husband lost it while we were trying to bd.
I really felt that my life was a disaster! Not only was I not pregnant, but now we couldn't even have good sex!

I know that I handled the incident wrong. Crying in bed when he's ashamed isn't going to help. But honestly, it had never happened to us and I was so disappointed and felt ill prepared to deal with it.

I have taken a lot of pressure off of it and given him a lot of reassurance. He even saw a urologist to ask for help (it might sound extreme, but again, we both freaked. We were worried about the rest of our lives. Yes, a bit dramatic, which didn't help at all).

I think that the doctor telling him that there is nothing wrong with him and that all he needed was to get his confidence back helped immensly. Would your husband be willing to see a doc? I feel that this really helped to get us back on the right track.

I'm sorry you missed your cycle. When you're ttc, there is almost nothing worse than knowing you have lost your hope for that month.

I hope his penis starts working for you again soon.

 

[Sus09]

 

[Sus09]

Thanks Ready!!

It is the first time it has hapened to us. It was weird as I did not think that could happen.
And like you say I did react in the wrong way, by me being upset it just made him more upset and more stressed, it made matters really bad and he could not perform at all the other nights.

The poor thing tried a lot last night and we did manage to BD, however I will never tell him we had missed the cycle as he would feel terrible. I needed to tell him a white lie just to reasure him.

I really appreciate your advice. He will go to the doctor, again just reasurance.