I'm so frustrated and need help!

[reneny1]

This is long. I am sorry. I am just FREAKING out right now...

Background: 41 years old Monday. MC in Jan 2010 of unknown cause at about 4 weeks. I smoked for 27 years up until I tested positive for this pregnancy on May 12th. Have had 3 beta tests:

May 13th = 272
May 17th = 1730
May 19th = 5421

I leave for Italy on May 27th (next Friday). My ONLY concern at this point is that I want to be sure the embryo (viable or not) is IN MY UTERUS! That is my ONLY concern and I relayed that to my doctor's office. I feel I am high risk and do not want to be in a foreign country during weeks 7, 8, and part of 9 and have an ectopic emergency.

I read that they should be able to locate at least a sac through transvaginal ultrasound at 1500 hcg. They kept telling me at the dr ofc that I would have to have an hcg of 6000 or more. Well, hel-lo! By next Thursday (the date the ultrasound tech will be there), I will definitely be at 6000 hcg right?

Anyway, they wanted to wait until the 26th to do another hcg and not do any ultrasound. I leave the next day to Italy. So I probably wouldn't even get the results back until I was on the plane LEAVING THE COUNTRY.

My doctor has the ability to do transvaginal ultrasounds. I have had one before in her office. It's not like it's that hard. I thought it would seem pretty simple.

I had an appointment last week. Didn't see the doctor. I saw a midwife that had a horrible bedside manner and was very non-chalant. She did a pap and didn't say much of anything really. I told her my concerns but she didn't comment other than to tell me that I needed an hcg of 6000 to do an ultrasound.

When they called me today to tell me all this, I started getting upset. I was like, I am leaving for a foreign country for 2 1/2 weeks. I know ectopics don't usually show any symptoms until 6 weeks and I will be at 6 weeks the day I leave for Italy. I have a couple of risk factors. I feel like I am the only one fighting for my best interests. The girl was all like, Well, we got you in right away when you called us and have done all this testing and blah blah blah... which I felt was defensive and still NOT in my best interest but just being argumentative. Obviously my hormones are surging... I was about ready to reach through the phone and strangle her.

Look, I know they won't be able to hear a heartbeat or even see much of anything. I'm not asking for a damn miracle. I just want to be sure the embryo is where it is supposed to be. Period. That's it! Then I will ride it all out until I get back from Italy. If I were to miscarry in Italy, I think I could suffer through. I have some experience... I will be almost 9 weeks when I return and then we can see if it's a healthy pregnancy...

So my dilemma is this: the girl said she would "fit me in" for an ultrasound next Thursday late in the day but needs to get approval from the dr. whom I have not yet seen. I feel so uncomfortable with that office now because I had to yell at them to get them to do this. The doctor still has to approve and what if she doesn't? I could get a private scan but would have to travel 4 hours each way (I live in the sticks) and really can't take the time off work to do it. But if I had to, I would just have to...

I am just sick to my stomach. I don't know what to do. The doctor I want to change to won't even be in her office until July 1st so they couldn't help me. My early pregnancy symptoms are breast tenderness that comes and goes (not all day), heaviness in my uterus, heart palpitations (not sure that's normal), some aches and pains in my pelvic region but maybe I am exagerrating those feelings because I am so paranoid?, gassiness but that has gotten better this week, and some tiredness but nothing awful.

I feel alone. Like I have no medical team behind me. And now they are probably pissed because I went off on them.

Somebody talk me down here... I feel like such a whiney baby and I'm never like this! Am I being unreasonable?

 

[ciarhwyfar]

I can understand your concern but I am confused about one thing, is there a high risk reason why you are worried about having an ectopic or something? I can understand being frustrated and what not but if there isn't a specific reason other than general concern, I can see why the doctor's office might be dragging their feet about it.

I'm not saying that I wouldn't change my doctor with all of those problems, I am just trying to see if there is a specific reason for the request besides your vacation. Just want to make sure I wasn't missing something in your post.

 

[reneny1]

Well, I am probably just being paranoid, but I have no idea if my prior MC was ectopic or not, I smoked ALOT for many years, my age... those are all risk factors.

If I was NOT going to be leaving the country at such a precarious time in my pregnancy, I would probably not be freaking out like this. I am just super concerned about this issue cropping up when I am in a foreign country. I'd rather not, ya know?

I understand that they are looking at the numbers and they seem fine. I am nit picky. Everything I have read about hcg says the numbers should double every 48-72 hours. My double rate is 34 hours. Ectopics either have abnormally rising (36%) or falling hcg numbers (57%). The normal rising is only 7%.

I just don't want to be stressing about this the whole time I am in Italy and freaking out about every single little pain. I would rather KNOW where the baby is in my body.

Maybe I am being unreasonable.

 

[BLONDIE35]

I don't think you should worry as the first miscarriage sounded like a normal m/c as you probably would have needed surgery if an ectopic so don't think you have any worries there. I also smoked heavily before my last baby and stopped the day I got hpt. He is now 8 months old oh and btw I didn't have any pregnancy symptoms at all apart from pulling pain in lower abdominal area which is really normal! Please don't worry I'm sure you'll be fine! Xx

 

[Mommy's Angel]

As the other poster said, You'd KNOW if you had an ectopic. You'd be in the hospital. It's a serious issue! Something I WOULD be concerned about is your progesterone levels. Sometimes those who mc early lack progesterone. Have you had that tested with your other labs? Usually they check them all. Find out what the levels are and if they are normal before you leave. If you lack progesterone, a progesterone suppository or cream can help keep the pregnancy. You won't know though unless you get tested once a week.

It could be the smoking may have caused the mc too. It seems as though you haven't any closure as to WHY IT HAPPENED. That alone can put you over the edge. I would continue going to that office if to only get the scan. Keep in mind that scans usually before 6wks won't necessarily show a baby nor a fetal pole unless your between 6-8wks. You May or may not find a sac that early. They can sometimes hide. Will that put you over the edge if you don't find out the confirmation you wanted? My office did the same.

If you look on the board, you'll see that the reason some Dr.'s wait until 6wks is because they don't often see much. MANY women on the boards start to panic for weeks until they finally find out there's a baby safely implanted there. So it could go either way with anxiety.

Ask if they have progesterone numbers and find out if they are normal or low. If you haven't had them yet, ask for them. It will help to see if there was a progesterone issue that you could find out before you leave and take care of that.

All in all, I pray you find some peace in this and that you'll have that sticky little bean.

 

[catcatcat]

Ive got heart palps too think its a good sign. My symptoms are same as u and lits of others in early pg so thats good. Is there any early preg assesment units over there? U cud go in and express your anxiety to see if they cud help. Go in and c another dr in your surgery. Or cud u pay for a private scan. I had a mmc the sack stopped developing at 5 wks and it cud clearly b seen on the scan in the uterus at 1cm so a scan should show up a very small sack and baby from 5 wks if your lucky a spinal column mau b seen so a scan wud help you. I understand your fear. Go back and dont take no for an answer at the drs.