Inconceivable and beyond :-)

[2have4kids]

Miki can your FS not still harvest the eggs, get the donation from your DH and then freeze the embryos? I know fresh is best but if you really like this donor maybe that's the way to go? As well, I'm impressed your clinic tests you for your antibodies to various diseases before they get you pregnant.

There seems to always be disappointments/ups & downs with cycles in my experience. From my coordinator telling me to take the Lupron jab at the wrong time and then having to do it twice, to another clinic refusing to tell me the height of my donor (it's my right legislated by law to know this!) to my most recent cycle where the coordinator forgot to mention when I was to start taking progesterone and telling me they'd have to cancel my cycle (me with a few chooce 4 letter words on the other side of the email explaining how they'd have to rebook the appt to 2 days later rather thN have me cancel my non-refundable accoms & flights to Europe).
There's always something. Hang in there!

 

[Vonn]

Miki--sorry to hear you will have a delay. This is quite the rollercoaster ride, lots of ups and downs. You have to get your body ready, though, so try to think of it that way. We had a similar situation in August. The donor and I were ready to start and I went in for a monitoring appt...and came out with an appt for polyp removal surgery & at least two months delay for a transfer. I was really upset and felt like it was just never going to happen, it was just roadblock after roadblock. My clinic said they were still going to stim the donor so we could either get her frozen eggs or DH could give a sample, create embryos and freeze them. We opted for DH to fly cross-country and do his thing. That was extra work and expense, but it worked well. My cycle got wonky and we didn't go out for transfer until Thanksgiving week.

 

[mikihope]

Thank you so much, 2have and Vonn. It was very nice of you to reply so fast, and with such comforting words.

2have- Thanks, I might try to find out about freezing, if it comes to that. My clinic managed a successful birth from 19 year old embryos, so maybe freezing isn't a terrible 2nd option. Your stories with the mix ups sound hair-pullingly frustrating! Hopefully I don't go through as many frustrations, but then you're probably right -- there's always something!

Vonn- How true, I'm getting my body ready. It's so easy to think badly of one's body when dealing with infertility, though. I was blaming mine for being one of the rare ones that didn't have immunity to chicken pox I'm sorry that you had to go through such a stressful delay, including having to go for polyp surgery. I'm glad that it worked out for you!

AFM- The news had to come just as I was preparing to relax this weekend, and finally get to enjoy the thought of proceeding with the mock and real cycles.

I'm sure I'll feel much happier tomorrow, but earlier today I was so disappointed that I almost couldn't continue working (got the call at work). It's such a little thing, I think I just built up my excitement too much, and it felt like it all came crashing down at once!

 

[sienna]

Mikihope sorry to hear of your delay, I’ve not come across a clinic before that checks immunity to different childhood diseases but sounds like a good approach to protect any babies. I hope you’ll be back on track soon.

 

[mikihope]

Thanks, Sienna! Yeah, DH and I have been telling ourselves that it’s a good thing the clinic is so proactive with trying to protect the babies and the pregnancy. I have to do so many tests, and an EKG. It does make me feel old, though!

I went for my weekly hike today, and it invigorated me and cleared my mind. I think I don’t feel so bad now about the possible delay. I’m really grateful for the ability to be active once again, as I was bedridden after a horrible cycling crash on the road last May. I was on my road bike going downhill at high speed, and this cyclist in front turned suddenly into my path. I broke my elbow (of my dominant arm) into two, and my pelvis in three places! It was a horrible time in my life. I was in a wheelchair and in so much pain for so long, and I believed that I would never be able to try to get pregnant due to the terrible injuries and my advanced maternal age. But now… I’ve bounced back and am able to do things like running again, and here I am trying to get pregnant!

Oh, and the nurse got back to me and said that it is possible that I only need to wait one month after the 2nd (booster) shot. So that would make it a 2 month wait, and not 4 months. She has to confirm this with the RE. Am waiting with bated breath…

 

[2have4kids]

Wow that is quite a bad accident! Were you able to sue? My sister tore her shoulder during a kayaking trip, came home to Canada and was incrediy lucky to be triaged into quick surgery due to the type of injury it was and then this lady and her son were on the bike path and the son looked away verring into my sisters oncoming lane. She flew head first off her bike and re-tore her shoulder. It's now considered inoperable and permanently damaged. The mother & son fled and my sister had to foit the bill for her injuries & totalled bike. It seems like bike injuries are often the worst, high speed, high impact. You're amazing to have recovered from all that as well as you did!

 

[mikihope]

Thanks, Vonn, I feel much better now, even though my arm is often sore (I have a plate and screws in there). I made rapid progress because I was very determined and stubborn, and did a ton of daily rehab. I also seem to have Wolverine-esque powers of healing. Too bad it doesn’t translate to having great eggs!

I’m so sorry your sister had to go through this too. It is soul-destroying. You can see and relive the exact moment when you know your life has changed forever. I hope that her shoulder gets better despite the permanent damage. My guy also tried to escape from his responsibility, and we found him from his particulars on the police report, and are still trying to claim our expenses from him. I was an avid cyclist before then (haven’t been back on my road bike yet), and I had participated in triathlons and bike races. Well, I was a serious recreational cyclist and not a pro, but I was experienced enough to know that it was 100% his fault. I’ve never had any sort of fall, however minor, from my bike before then. It was pretty high speed as I was cycling halfway down a hilly road, so even though I tried to tuck and roll, I slammed hard onto the road. I couldn’t walk or move my legs, and was carried in a stretcher straight to the trauma ward. The worst thing was that DH didn’t even know until I had been there for 4 hours, as he was working that day.

I remember those dark days of recovery, when I was barely able to move, and I felt like my whole body was wracked with pain. It took me more than 3 months before I could almost look forward to going to sleep, instead of dreading it. But I worked hard on my recovery, and I bounced back in a most miraculous manner! The docs were stunned at my recovery. At least then I could work on my body and get it to where it needed to be. With this infertility journey, I feel like it is out of my hands. It’s quite scary.

Anyway, AF showed today, a day earlier than I expected. So that’s great news for me. I now feel like I’m moving forward, and I take the estradiol pills starting tomorrow. Yay, my first med on this journey!

 

[crystal443]

Hi ladies, a quick hi from me! Hope everyone is well and welcome to Miki it's a roller coaster ride but you'll get there

2have so glad things are going well, we did the 3-4 hourly feeds, I went to bed around 9:00pm and Mark did the feed around 11:00pm and then I did them alone at night, he then helped with the 6:00am feed before work and on weekends we both did the feeds. His job requires mental alertness or his butt would have been awake helping lol! It's exhausting but thankfully isn't for a long time, these two were sleeping through by 10-12 weeks so hang in there mama!

PS, I think it was you that had all the discharge? I had to wear a liner all pregnancy same as Butterfly, hang in there!

Hi everyone else, I did read back but I forgot that quickly I'll have to go back again haha! The girls are 22 months today just two months shy of 2.. where has that time gone?? Big girls now but wouldn't change it their so funny now

 

[mikihope]

Thanks for the welcome, and hi Crystal! It's so nice to hear about your adorable girls. What a wonderful time you all are having together!

 

[hubbardalicia]

Thanks for sharing.

 

[Vonn]

Miki--your accident sounds horrifying. I hope your amazing body will also know just what to do once you are pregnant!

Crystal--I love hearing funny baby/toddler stories. Got any ones that are easy to share?!?

2have--It sounds exhausting (I think I'd be delirious), but you just make it sound so matter of fact. I'm curious about how MacKinley is taking it all in.

PS--how far along are you know? How's the bump?

Sienna--how did the transfer go yesterday? How many did you transfer? Thinking of you and can't wait for an update.

AFM--We got our genetic screening results on Thursday and everything came back normal. Woohoo! That felt really good, esp for DH, who was more nervous than I was about it. We also found out the gender. I'll share, but first I want to know what you ladies guess!

On a sadder note, my sister had zero embryos make it to blastocyst, after starting with 15 mature eggs. One of the three that fertilized made it to day three, but that was as far as any of them got. It was so upsetting to see her go through this. And of course, there are no words. The Dr was able to meet with them the next morning before she headed out of town, so that was nice. The first thing she said was, "Well, I certainly wasn't expecting us to be in this situation," because the stimming and retrieval had gone so well and they seemed like a "slam dunk" case. Long story short, they decided to change up the protocol and try it again. Last protocol was pretty standard, this one is "the kitchen sink."

Even more drama because I told my parents I thought they should have a better idea of what happens in the IVF process. They did not take that very well, were very upset (my mom said she was "devastated" ). I was shocked at their over reaction. It wasn't like I was saying that I think they don't love or support us (and I told them that multiple times). I just feel like it's their second child to go through all this, why wouldn't they want to understand what is actually happening? Their cluelessness comes off like an insult, like they think it's not that big of a deal. (Alert: It's a huge deal. It takes over your life.) We've been pretty open with them and told them not to be afraid to talk to us about it (me especially, because, as you can see, I'm quite the blabbermouth), but after awhile, always having to be the one offering information to people who seem to have no clue about what's happening gets old. I'd just had enough and had to say something. I was annoyed but also felt I brought it up in a sensitive way & wasn't mean to them about it, so I was thrown off by how poorly they reacted. I have to remember they are of the generation where people don't communicate honestly because it could result in recognizing an area of conflict. Heaven forbid we be open about something when being passive-aggressive could get the point across. Excuse the sarcasm. Whew. Thanks for letting me get all that off my chest...

 

[2have4kids]

Vonn I find that generation very childlike. I'm sorry to hear about your sister's failed ivf. Fx for the next try xx. My mom 'forgot' to tell me of her 10 years struggle to get pregnant, and the twin placentas they found when they delivered my sister. I told her that had she found the interest in telling me about her fertility struggles she could have saved me over $50,000K. My sister was pretty taken aback when she heard she could have been a twin.

Today we did a newborn photo shoot and when DD was tired & fussing grandma tried to take her off her dad. She knows full well that when toddlers are tired they want their parents, we do this almost every time she visits. Yet she still pulled DD off dad and therefore DD had a massive tantrum which disturbed the twins from sleeping as they were being photographed Then she insists on sitting in the middle row with the twins while we drove home and couldn't find where her seat belt goes so both twins screamed bloody murder for 5 minutes while mom dilly-dallied about. Then I asked her to let dad take the twins out of their carseats but knowing she's too arthritic to depress the release buttons she took all of their blankets off with the door and trunk open and wouldn't get out to let dad in to help them out. Then, realizing her mistake she proceeds to slowly and carefully cover them up. At this point there are 5 of us waiting on her to get her arse out of the car, screaming babies....again, husband outside getting snowed on, twins, a toddler and myself freezing in the cold nasty -30 degree weather, grumpiness heightened by all of us desperately in need of a nap. Her intentions are good but she definitely isn't capable of putting the children's needs first. She puts her wants ahead of anything I ask of her and anything the girls need.

I don't think you should beat yourself up over stating your opinion to your parents. And if they are offended, that's fine. It's not the most constructive way of dealing with information but it's their way. Don't recant or apologise, they need to wake up to being so insensitive about the process and this is even more relevant now that your sister has to try again.

 

[mikihope]

Vonn- Thanks, I really hope this advanced maternal age body knows what to do! Congratulations on your genetic screening results! Please tell us what the gender is, I have no idea what I would guess… boy?
Oh no, I’m so sad for your sister, and for you too. I really hope the next cycle is the one. Thank goodness she has you to support her. Sadly, your parents can’t really understand the whole IVF thing. I do agree with you and 2have – it seems to be common in that generation. Ignoring difficult issues and pretending that all is well…

2have- That sounds frustrating! Luckily your mom means well. My mom thinks everything is about her (and is super critical), so I haven’t told my parents I’m doing DE, and in fact I have never mentioned that I’m even trying to conceive. I have tried to have discussions with my mom about adoption (I have thought about that in the past), and she gets upset and says that the child will have all sorts of problems, and how it’s not the same as having “my own child”. So… I dread what she would have to say about DE.

Sienna- Oh yes, did you do your transfer yet?

AFM- I had the saline sonogram and mock transfer done on cycle day 6. The mock transfer went well, but my uterus didn’t seem happy with the saline introduction bit, as I experienced a few severe painful cramps. I thought it was supposed to be painless! Other than that, it felt pretty good.

I had a bit of a scare when the person doing the sonogram said that there seemed to be some polyps in there, and we might need to get those taken out. I spent the day at work feeling really worried. But when they called at the end of the day, they told me that the RE said everything looked fine.

The lining was 6.9 mm and triple striped, and my estrogen level was good (no idea what it was, though). So it looks like the pills are working, I guess. I have never done this before, so I can’t tell! Still, I was pleased that all I have to do right now is to continue taking those pills 3x a day. Then I go for the day 12 check on Thursday... slowly moving forward...

 

[sienna]

Hi ladies, I’m back from Prague and had two five day blastocysts transferred, all the staff at the clinic was lovely and my transfer went fine it wasn’t uncomfortable like last time and I had no bleeding this time. Just have a long two week wait now.

Vonn I am so glad to hear your genetic screening is all clear; you must be relieved, I’m guessing a girl. I’m sorry to hear about your sisters failed cycle I hope her next one is successful.

2have grandma sounds a handful and adding unnecessary stress, did you get some good photos in the end though?

Mikihope sorry to hear about your problems with your mum, it’s really difficult when you don’t have that additional support, we haven’t told family about IVF either and not sure what they’ll say or even if we will tell them. I’m glad to hear your mock cycle is going well, fingers crossed your next scan is on track too.

 

[crystal443]

Sienna!! Best of luck in this two week wait

Vonn, I agree with 2have about parents, my dad has passed but my mum I have to be very blunt with or she won't hear me and it's so frustrating. Everytime we had a loss she would say are done yet?? WTF so I finally got really pissed off and told her no more she would never know what was happening and she doesn't know a single thing.

I do have a funny toddler story for you it's a bit embarrassing acually, we were at a family BBQ with family etc for my son's 19th and his girlsfriends family was there. First time we met them but awesome people lol! His girlfriend has an older sister with a 2.5 year old and a baby boy. The sister is very outgoing and was talking away and Lily walks up to her and touches her boob then lifts her shirt up to say here's mine they were not breastfed and why she chose that moment to notice boobs is beyond me was a bit embarrassing but I laughed harder then anything. She is unpredictable on a good day, Poppy quietly looks at her like she's lost her mind lol

 

[2have4kids]

Sienna congrats on being pupo, it sounds like everything went super smoothly. They do know what they're doing over there and man those Czech clinics make beautiful babies did you put one or two embryos back? Yes we did get some awesome newborn shots. We just got the birth story photographs back and she went over and above and gave us a bonus video of the delivery & NICU scenes. It brought me to tears. Mind you that's not hard to do these days with the fluctuating hormones and lack of sleep...

Crystal that is really hilarious about Lilly! You never know what those little innocent minds are going to do.

Mikihope it sounds like you're ready to go then! That's very exciting. Sorry about the cramps, I didn't feel a thing with my ivf transfers, let's hope it's more like that for you!

Vonn, I think it's a girl, I don't know why.

Well it's 2:50am and DD#1 is still awake. She's puked 3 times tonight and we don't know why. Just trying to keep her hydrated and get her to bed. I'm going on fumes from last night already lol. I think this year will be a bit of a tired blur.

 

[sienna]

Thanks ladies

Crystal they’re so funny at that age you never know what they’ll do next

2have I put 2 back, I’m glad to hear you got some good photo’s it was all worthwhile, hope DD#1 gets better soon

 

[Butterfly67]

Siena fingers crossed x

Vonn I think boy! So sorry about your sister 😕

 

[mikihope]

Sienna, congrats on being PUPO! If you decide to tell your family, I hope that they’re super supportive. Ah well, I’m used to not having support from family, always having taken a different path in life. Also, I don’t have any relatives here, except for DH. My family is a whole 17 hour plane ride away!

2have- Yeah, thanks, it’s looking like things are continuing to move forward. I had my consult with the perinatologist today. They are very strict at my clinic, and worried about pregnancy at my age, so I had to get a whole slew of tests, plus EKG. Luckily, they came back great, and the perinatologist said that I was really healthy. I hope my transfer is like yours, painless and with a brilliant outcome! I hope that poor DD #1 gets better real soon, and that you manage to squeeze in some rest!

Crystal- Is that what I have to look forward to if I am ever blessed with a toddler?

 

[sienna]

Mikihope glad to hear all your tests went well, our transfer date will be here before you know it, have they given you a rough idea of a date yet?