Invite ettiquette - who's hosting?

[Snow Owl]

Question for you.

If you recieved an invite from someone to their child's engagement party saying they invite you and to RSVP to them, would you assume they were hosting the party?

Just checking if I need a slap down, lol.

 

[katherinegrey]

I actually wrote our invites as if our son was hosting the party, I thought it was a nice way to involve him in the wedding, our invites read 'mommy and daddy are getting married!' and inside it said Jamie invites you to the wedding of his mommy and daddy. All our RSVP's were addressed to Jamie, so yes, I would say people would presume that whoever was hosting they would RSVP.

 

[DonnaBallona]

I'm unsure what you mean; but on our invites I wrote Maria, Toby, Pauline and Harry invite you X to the wedding of X and X.

they are our parents, but people have to RSVP to us-and we are paying for it alone! x

 

[aly888]

Hmm tough one. They could be hosting the party, or they could just be following invite etiquette where the parents traditionally host these kinds of things. Doesn't mean that they are 'actually' hosting it though, if you know what I mean!?
Our wedding invites were all from us, no mention of the parents, because our parents aren't in anyway hosting the day.
Last year though we got an invite to a friends wedding, from their parents, and we had to RSVP to the parents, but the bride and groom did all the chasing etc
So basically, I don't see the point in parents 'hosting' if they aren't actually hosting, you know?

Not sure that answers your question. Lol

 

[Snow Owl]

Basically we couldn't afford an engagement party so my parents offered to throw us one they have been lovely and haven't made us invite anyone we didn't want.

When we told MIL her first reaction was to ask how many invites she got for her friends. This annoyed me enough. We said we had no problems with her few best friends. We then found out she was inviting 20 people....

We mentioned we would be DIY catering (100 people) and she didn't offer to help. Asked if she could help and she said she'd be too busy getting ready...

As for invites we are keeping it casual so have just been calling people to let them know what's going on. Found out tonight she's bought engagement invite cards and written that she invites them to the engagement party of her son and me and to RSVP to her.

Sorry but am I ok to want to murder someone here??

 

[aly888]

Hang on....YOUR parents offered to throw you an engagement party so your MIL decided to send invites out????!! No effing way, I'd be going batshit crazy at her for that. That's just utterly rude. Especially as she's not actually willing to help out in anyway

 

[Mummy May]

What Aly said. She has absolutely no right at all to be sending invites especially as she isn't willing to help you in any way and your parents are paying for it! Nahh I would be getting her told!!! Were hosting our own invites lol! We have been helped out a lot with money but at the end of the day we don't expect anyone else to do things and have enjoyed doing it alone xx

 

[Mummy May]

And watch out lol she sounds a bit like Aly's MIL - if she's like this for the engagement party all hell will break loose for the wedding lol! I would put her in her place now before she gets out of hand xxx

 

[Snow Owl]

Thank god it's not just me! I was horrified!!

I didn't say anything last night as was mainly in shock but have spoken to OH and agreed he's going to try and have words today.

I

 

[aly888]

Haha yes, Mummy May is right. Make sure she knows how much input from her is acceptable...otherwise these "friends" of hers will all be siting at your top table with you on the day I'm serious :/

 

[Mummy May]

yeah, she's not joking

 

[Snow Owl]

Oh aly was it you with the major MIL issues? I remember reading about it!

 

[aly888]

I think the majority of us are having issues with one relative or another If I could go back in time I wouldn't even tell anyone about the wedding and would just get on with it

 

[Lauren25]

Ohh my word i cant believe that, someone deffo needs to have words with her!!
Everything to do with our wedding has come from us even though my parents have paid for some things and so have OHs parents!!

 

[emyandpotato]

I haven't even mentioned my parents, I've just put 'your presence is requested at the wedding of..'. I think the parents thing is fine if you're having a big, 'traditional' wedding and parents really are hosting.