Is he overreacting or am i in the wrong?

[mum22ttc#3]

Im taking everything you ladies are saying on board, & totally appreciate the honesty.

My only comment would be that it doesnt matter how many times i tell him his practical jokes annoy the hell outta me, & sometimes im just not in the mood for them, or like last weekend, he had me.in.tears because he dunked.my face in the dirty washing up water because he thought it would be funny, i know for a fact he doesnt hesitate to do them time & time again!! I rarely get my own back because hes bigger & stronger than me, & i would struggle to do the things he does to me, to him. I guess i feel he just cant take it like he gives it out.

On the surface, I agree with the PP that the second time was too much, but we don't know the whole story. After reading this, I think you are right, he seems to think he can give it all he wants but he can't take it.

This don't give it if you can't take it back. I would be tempted to go in to the bedroom and tell him so myself. Not in a nasty way but in a 'now you understand what you put me through' kinda discussion way. And if he is still huffy I'd drink the beer you'd bought him (just because I think dunking someone's head in dirty dish water is a billion times worse than a photo of beer).

This

I totally think it is him over reacting. I actually don't think it matters how many times you sent it, to be that pissed off about it IMO is a total over reaction

I understand that it is annoying when your the one at work but at the end of the day that's life. Are you not meant to tell him about your day either with LO just incase he might not like it or be jealous?

 

[LoveCakes]

I think he overreacted the first day but it wasn't funny the second time, it was mean.

I do think you need to talk about the pranks though as it seems neither of you are really enjoying them.

 

[x__amour]

The first time I can see the overreaction but the fact he asked you not to again and you did I think was unnecessary. To be honest these "pranks" don't seem funny in the least. He pulls up your skirt in public? That's so humiliating. And dunking you in dishwater? That's awful.

I only know what you have said but I think maybe a discussion about more appropriate jokes would be perhaps better.

 

[smileyfaces]

Erm id say he was massively overreacting!!

 

[sparkle_1979]

To be honest I think he's over reacting but after the first time I probably wouldn't have done it again

Also how is dunking someone's head in dirty water funny ? :/ I must admit I cringed reading some if them
X

 

[dgirllamius]

Salt in your water? Isn't that a bit dangerous? That can make you sick, no? And dunking your head in dirty dishwater, who the fuck does that? Judging by the state my dishwater gets after washing everything I wouldn't dunk my OHs head in that "as a joke" or vice versa.

I think he overreacted just a tad but to do it again the next day knowing how he reacts to such thing wasn't a great idea. I think you need to sit down and talk about these "practical jokes" because they just don't seem like jokes at all.

I think you both need to apologise - you've both done some silly things. I don't think it's a case of "why should I apologise, I've done nothing wrong".

 

[Bex84]

It does seem an over reaction however if he told you it upset him I don't really get doing the same thing again as you knew it would push buttons. As for his pranks he needs to stop to when you say no, it seems immature to want to humiliate your partner. I think you need to sit down and tell him it needs to stop but that also means you need to stop being a wind up to. The stuff he is doing sounds like a 12 year old rather than adult

 

[lindseymw]

He got pissed at you sending him a pic of a pint? Massive overreaction. I have sent DH plenty of texts whilst he has been work along those lines....never once has he threw his toys out of the pram. He works 12/13 hour shifts on a blast furnace (very hot, very dirty, not exactly pleasant working conditions).

I agree with Mum22ttc, I don't think it matters that you sent it the next day as well. What kind of person goes in a major huff because you sent him a pic of a pint?

I think you need sit him down and discuss the pranks. I think he might need to grow up a bit. Of course, a little bit of fun between partners is fine but what he does sounds like a child. I would be absolutely livid if DH dunked my head in water (dirty or not) as a 'joke' (unless we're in a swimming pool, then that means a dunking war!).

 

[Pearls18]

Silly situation all around, yep he totally over reacted but I imagine the second day he was more annoyed that you did it to him again when he said he didn't like it rather than what the photo actually showed. This tit for that stuff is very childish, DH and I tease each other but we're on the same level, if both of you are getting genuinely pissed off with each other you're both going too far. You sound more like young siblings than partners lol.....!

 

[Natasha2605]

The first time I can see the overreaction but the fact he asked you not to again and you did I think was unnecessary. To be honest these "pranks" don't seem funny in the least. He pulls up your skirt in public? That's so humiliating. And dunking you in dishwater? That's awful.

I only know what you have said but I think maybe a discussion about more appropriate jokes would be perhaps better.

I agree with this.

None of you find the jokes funny (not sure I'd even call them jokes though) so what's the point.

Some of the things he does to you is VILE though. Head in dirty water, pulling up your skirt in public? That's awful and so cringey.

 

[JumpingIn]

I'm more worried about the fact that he's so resentful of the fact that he's working that he can't even receive a pic of a pint without having a freak out. Is he unhappy in his job?

As for the dirty dishwater and his stupid pranks, that's a conversation that should have happened ON THE SPOT. You're grown people, you can't be getting washing up liquid in your eyes and filth all over your face because he fancied pratting about! I'm also concerned about your comments about him being bigger and stronger...It's unfair of him to take advantage of that but throw his toys out of the pram when you try to play back.

The way I'd approach it would be to ask if everything was alright at work and how he feels about his job, then progress to the "stop being a prat with the practical jokes" conversation that should have already happened.

I suspect there's more to this than meets the eye. I think perhaps you went in for the second time because you're sick of him being mean to you with his horsing around, and I also suspect that his reaction has more behind it than just being a miserable arse.

Talk it out

 

[Blah11]

I think after his reaction on day 1 (which was ott) it was silly to do it again knowing it upset him.

 

[dani_tinks]

I think it's all a bit childish to be honest! He did over react to begin with, but knowing it pissed him off, it was stupid to send him another photo. I do think you both need to have a conversation about it though. I find it a bit odd that you want to get back at each other all the time by winding each other up .

 

[mummylove]

all seems a bit childish

 

[wishuwerehere]

In answer to your original question, I think you were a bit daft to do it again but his reaction was ridiculous!

However, your later posts have really bothered me, I read this yesterday and it's been on my mind since then. Dunking someone's face in dishwater for a joke is just cruel, I don't see how that's funny or affectionate at all. I had an ex like this, we used to wind each other up for fun but once we got out of the honeymoon phase he used to take my stuff and hide it or other things to generally bully humiliate me and call it 'banter' or whatever, to the point where i'd be in tears before he'd stop and honestly it really dragged at my self esteem, and kind of went downhill from there. I really urge you to talk to him and make sure he knows it stops now because if it continues I think it will progress from joking to nasty (although i could argue it already has) with the excuse that it's jsut being funny, particularly if he can't take it himself. I'm not trying to be melodramatic, just by the end of that relationship I was really miserable because I felt like I couldn't do anything right.

 

[sparkle_1979]

It's bothered me too to be honest

Dunking heads under dirty water or throwing dirty wet cloths at you, pulling your skirt up in public ?

Are you honestly really ok with this? I can honestly say I don't have any girls friends who would not lose it at these things you've described

It's not funny, it really isn't even childish. He's a bully and it's humiliating to you

 

[Lauraxamy]

I'm more worried about the fact that he's so resentful of the fact that he's working that he can't even receive a pic of a pint without having a freak out. Is he unhappy in his job?

As for the dirty dishwater and his stupid pranks, that's a conversation that should have happened ON THE SPOT. You're grown people, you can't be getting washing up liquid in your eyes and filth all over your face because he fancied pratting about! I'm also concerned about your comments about him being bigger and stronger...It's unfair of him to take advantage of that but throw his toys out of the pram when you try to play back.

The way I'd approach it would be to ask if everything was alright at work and how he feels about his job, then progress to the "stop being a prat with the practical jokes" conversation that should have already happened.

I suspect there's more to this than meets the eye. I think perhaps you went in for the second time because you're sick of him being mean to you with his horsing around, and I also suspect that his reaction has more behind it than just being a miserable arse.

Talk it out

I'm not unhappy in my job but I have to work damn hard and if someone kept sending me photos constantly rubbing it in my face that they're out having fun in the sun and being like 'Hahaaa you're not' then it'd annoy me. Not the first couple of times tbh but if it was all the time it would.

 

[jd83]

I think both sides of this are ridiculous, tbh. he was clearly very upset after the first time you sent him a pic like this, and you went right back and did it again the next day. Its not funny, especially given you saw he was that upset the first time. I agree with pp, I don't especially enjoy having it thrown in my face if someone's out having fun in the sun while I'm stuck working. Sure it may have been an overreaction the first day to get THAT upset over it, but given that he got THAT upset, why on earth would you do it again???

And as for how he is treating you....WOW. I really don't have words. Why do you put up with someone shoving your head into dirty dish water? That is disgusting and completely demeaning. Its not funny in the slightest, or a "prank". Its abusive, really. As well as most of the rest of what you mentioned. not at all funny to the person being done to. I really think you both need to have a serious discussion about this "practical joking" situation you both have. Its not healthy, and its not funny.

 

[AP]

i remember my ex and I liked a joke about, but it all went wrong when i was covered in bruises and my boss found them, i used to take this all as a joke but in reality i realised he must be getting kicks out of it somehow? Sometimes you can both lose sight of the lines you don't want to cross. The whole dishwater thing sounds really awful actually.

 

[Gaige]

Okay, so when my OH's mum was visiting us she took me out for lunch while OH was working. We ended up going to one of mine and OH's favorite places to eat and had ice cream on the seafront afterwards. Cue lots of good-natured teasing of my poor OH from both me and his mum (and yes, I sent him a picture of the ice cream because seriously this thing was a bloody mountain of Mr Whippy ice cream) and his response was just as good-natured: he said we were massive meanies and we owe him ice cream.
We all joked about it and had a giggle.
Never once did he react how your OH did so yes, I would say he overreacted to you sending him a couple of pictures.

On the flip side, if he told you it annoyed him then sending him another picture was probably not the best idea.

HOWEVER.
I am more than slightly concerned about his "pranks". In fact I was side-eyeing the hell out of them when I read what he does to you.
There is a very fine line between playing a daft prank on your OH and being a bully and I'm sorry if this sounds harsh but he crossed it.
Putting salt in your water can make you very sick, dunking your face in dirty dishwater is just disgusting and yanking your skirt up in public is just downright humiliation.

You guys need to sit down and talk about you behave to each other because it really doesn't sound good at all.