Is this polite?

[aimee-lou]

A few days ago I accidentally told a colleague at work that I am pregnant.

Rather surprisingly her first question/comment wasn't congratulations or when are you due? Instead it was 'Was it Planned.'

This took me a little by surprise and I just answered 'Yes, Very!'.

At the time I just thought that it's a valid question, but the more I think about it, the more I think how impolite and just plain rude it is to ask this.

Do you agree? Am I being over sensitive? Has anyone asked this of you?

Thanks girls...this has been bugging me!

 

[jem_5500]

I have been asked that by a few people as well and jsut want to slap them,! I breather and tell them yes, just faster than we expected but much planned and wanted!

 

[Maffie]

Not even my mum has asked me that. This baby wasn't planned but its certainly very loved.

I think that is a very rude question.

 

[Angelmarie]

Wow that is really rude! I wouldnt be happy with that. Some people are just insensitive though. DP told one of his friends the news to which he replied not with a congrats but 'its early days things can still go wrong'!!!! I was furious!

Just ignore them. But remember

 

[Maffie]

I have been asked that by a few people as well and jsut want to slap them,! I breather and tell them yes, just faster than we expected but much planned and wanted!

oooh I like the faster than expected line. We wanted children but weren't ttc as wanted to be in a more settled position ie OH divorced both settle in jobs etc etc.

 

[caz81]

I think that is so rude! They are probably just jealous! Xx

 

[Wombat]

I was very shocked when with my first pregnancy when I went (we went, me and my DH) to the GP for the first time with huge grins on our faces being absolutely over the moon the first question she asked was "are you keeping it"? I had a total shocker....

I wouldn't take it personaly, just I think that is the way some people are.

 

[Babydance]

Oh hunny this is just the beginning people get so much worse/ruder "oh your huge" or "oh ur tiny" i get this alot and feel like people are insulting me!! JUst keep your head up and smile, theyre not worth the stress on your little buba!! xx

 

[janie0]

OMG....some ppl don't think before they speak. Brush off the comment! Try not to take it to heart!

 

[ClaireLouise]

A friend of mine also asked me if i was keeping it and said, 'who is gonna be my drinking partner now?'. I honestly dont think they are being purposely offensive, some people just think more cynically, especially if they are secretly jealous - be it that you are pregnant or that they think they are going to lose out because you can no longer be a 'party girl' etc.

I didnt get offended, some people speak before they think thats all.

 

[ahava]

wow how bloody rude. Id have turned around and said, oh yes im so fertile, i only have to look at my husband and i get pregnant . lol .....then id have punched her ...

 

[sleepinbeauty]

ugh...so rude!

 

[mom-on-8/2009]

my MIL asked this and i wanted to slap her
that's not nice!

 

[LeaArr]

Yeah, it's rude. As was said before you will get loads of insensitive/rude comments. Some people just don't think before they open their mouths

 

[jojo2605]

I think just about everyone i told (apart from family) asked me if it was planned... I agree it is rather a personal question - but as people have said, comments get alot worse! As a woman, suddenly finding that your body is deemed an open talking point in any capacity by anybody who feels the need once your pregnant, I find very difficult to deal with!! The sooner you develop a thick skin (or a pretty decent scowl in my case!) the sooner people stop with the comments!

 

[Pippin]

Yep rude, is it any of their business anyway!! Next time just say 'were you?'

 

[lou1979]

Damn right i'd take that as rude!! CHEEKY wench

grrrrrrr

 

[DaisyBee]

Yes I agree rude. I realized already yesterday that Im going to have to toughen up and not pay attention to things people said... a dr. (not my normal dr) said yesterday that "IF you are still pregant when you see your dr. on thurs....." ?!? How insensitive people are - I dont think people realize how things can affect us - we are already feeling emotional and they say rude things.
I am 12-13 dpo only and hcg was 86 so there wasnt even a reason for the dr's statement. And he is a DOCTOR! So if he is that insensitive I cant wait to see what the rest of the world will say!
So try not to listen to people - just to us on b&b and those who are supportive!!

 

[jennie_78]

wow some ppl are just so rude.
I get fed up of people saying to me, oh its early days anything can happen,
at 1st it upset me as i thought they were trying to dampen my happiness. Now i just dont talk to those people about my pregnancy, as i want to enjoy it.
My baby was very much planned, and im so excited thats why i told these people.
But, whether a child is planned or unplanned is not something people should ask, its none of their buisness.

 

[Seraphim]

Ah Aimee, sorry for being a little relieved that this happened to somebody else, but EVERYBODY at work asked me this.

At first I avoided it and they assumed it was a surprise.

Then I told every subsequent questioner 'I'm not saying / It's none of your business / If you're asking are we excited about it, the answer is YES' I only got to the 3rd version after a few attempts.

As I said in another post - I'm the first pregnancy in 21 years of business, and the only likely candidate, so rushing off to start a family could be frowned upon.

I only had one *bad* reaction, and that was from one of my oldest friends.