Is this positive!??

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Aw sorry af came but yay for new cycle!! Hopefully this one will be the one for you guys!
 
Uh af is so heavy.. I’ve been dizzy and lightheaded. Filling a super tampon in 2 hours
 
Ugh that stinks. I have my fingers crossed for you that you get your BFP very soon.
 
You guys I just don’t even know what to think or say right now.. hubby said we’d start trying in June but his ex wife wrote him going off because she found out about my miscarriage by looking at my Facebook. He has two kids with her age 7, and 9. And she told him he needs to worry about the kids he has now and not try to make another baby ( he is involved in his kids Lives) his kids are great, I adore them. But now he’s saying he doesn’t want a baby right now and wants to wait because he needs to focus on his kids and I’m trying to be understanding but at the same time I’m mad because I feel like she is controlling our relationship!! Any advice!? I’m lost here... I wanted a baby so bad, I don’t have any kids. I’m 22 years old and she was saying I’m a child? Hubby is 32.. the age difference means nothing. I’m confused and lost
 
I’ll put a disclaimer on this and say that you obviously know your hubby and relationship best - but seriously? It’s not fair of him to toy with your emotions like that. Say yes to trying in June then saying let’s not try until... when?? YOU are his wife now, and what you want matters. Is having another baby really going to disrupt his relationship with his children to the point where he can’t be there for them anymore? No. And oh my word his ex should butt right out. How rude.
Try talking to him, explain that this is really important to you and see if you guys can come up with a game plan so that his kids will still be very involved even with a new baby. And I would try and get across the point that he needs to discuss these things with you before making a life decision with his ex about your family life.
Let us know how it goes, sorry this has been such a rollercoaster for you xx
(Also I’m 23, DH is nearly 29. You’re not a child and you’re not too young to be wanting to start a family. His ex probably feels threatened by you which is why she would say something hurtful and demeaning like that)
 
Sander said:
I’ll put a disclaimer on this and say that you obviously know your hubby and relationship best - but seriously? It’s not fair of him to toy with your emotions like that. Say yes to trying in June then saying let’s not try until... when?? YOU are his wife now, and what you want matters. Is having another baby really going to disrupt his relationship with his children to the point where he can’t be there for them anymore? No. And oh my word his ex should butt right out. How rude.
Try talking to him, explain that this is really important to you and see if you guys can come up with a game plan so that his kids will still be very involved even with a new baby. And I would try and get across the point that he needs to discuss these things with you before making a life decision with his ex about your family life.
Let us know how it goes, sorry this has been such a rollercoaster for you xx
(Also I’m 23, DH is nearly 29. You’re not a child and you’re not too young to be wanting to start a family. His ex probably feels threatened by you which is why she would say something hurtful and demeaning like that)
Click to expand...
I literally tried talking to him all day about him and he just says he doesn’t want a baby right now, and we have all the time in the world.
I would never take away from his kids! I would want them to come to the hospital and see the baby and be a big part in it’s life. I think she feels threatened of not being the only woman to have his kids! Which is ridiculous. Me and him fought all day because of this and he’s been so distant and we haven’t been intimate at all lately.
He just said, she’s right i need to focus on them because I know if we have a baby all of my attention would be on it...?? I guess he’s never aloud to start a family with anyone new. I’m at a lost for words..
 
I am so sorry to hear this! I was in a similar situation in that the ex had too much control in our relationship. We did have a child together though and it ended up being very disconnected... my daughter and me and then him. We have since divorced, and while I wouldn't trade nbut daughter for anything and she is the greatest gift God could ever bless me with, in some ways I also feel like I got robbed of the full pregnancy/ family experience. When I found out that I was pregnant, he told over and text his ex so she was literally the first one to know. When I was in the hospital after having a c section, she was calling his phone saying that I needed to hurry up with my shower so that she could bring her son up to meet his sister. She even went as far as asking for my daughter's hospital bracelet. Now, I'm divorced and watch as my ex husband puts forth very little effort into his relationship with our daughter and sometimes I blame myself for the heartache she has to endure. While I know you want a baby now, think about your future and your child and your marriage. Perhaps he needs to become a little less selfish and be a more supportive husband before bringing an innocent child into the world.
 
I was 19 when hubby and I met..he was 37...32 and 48 now...

No reason he can’t be in the kids life and have a kid with you too...ridiculous...if she wanted him in their lives so bad and stuff it shouldn’t have just started when she knew you were trying for kid...just manipulation and jealousy
 
I agree with PP. The ex sounds manipulative and probably doesn't want to think of the idea of your DH having a new family. As for DH just sit him down and tell him in no uncertain terms that you will not let her put her two cents in and that having a baby will not affect how he feels about his other two. Your DH sounds like he still lets the ex make decisions for him and that's not right.
 
That’s what I said. I told him she has no say so in what we do and he said it has nothing to do with her but she just pointed out what He needed to hear. Hubby had a rough past with his kids, when him and his ex split up he was on drugs for awhile and didn’t see them. But he’s been clean for four years and always pays child support. The same weekend that she said all of this he took the kids summer clothes shopping and spent almost $500!! Which I have absolutely no problem with. I just feel like his ex is manipulating him . I guess we can’t have a baby until he kisses her butt some more .. I can’t believe he changed his mind and is now saying he doesn’t want one right now. I was so mad, and upset just wanted to cry. He’s just been super distant the past week and every time I ask him what’s going on he says there’s nothing wrong..
 
Ah hon that sucks I am so sorry. I have 2 children from a previous relationship and I was 23 when I had my eldest.
He is now married to another womon and they have a child together.
It's none of ure husband ex business what u do and if u have a baby. She needs to get her beak out and he needs to grow a pair and tell her to back the hell off. She has no control over him they are no longer together he is now married to you.
Pluss it's not very fair on you at all because u do not have children and he does.
He has to understand that u are going to want to have children of ure own.
And that his other kids are not gonna be left out because he has a new baby with you.
I cudnt give a flying crap how many other kids my ex has with his new wife. That's his business and nothing to do with me.
To me it sounds like this ex of his is jealous and doesn't want him having kids with someone else. It's so wrong.
 
I feel like most the other pp. it sounds like he cares more about the ex’s feelings than yours. His past is his past and he can’t change that but he sounds like he is very involved now. Having another baby with his new wife is 1) none of her business 2)in no way should affect his relationship with him current kids and 3) your decision as a couple! Couple means 2 you + him not you + him + her! That would make it a triple!
Whew this fires me up! He literally sounds like he doesn’t care how you feel and maybe that’s something you should really think about. Like someone else said (not saying this will happen in any way or shape) but if it’s forced maybe he will be distant with this baby and you which could lead to other issues in your marriage. It wouldn’t be fair to the child. Idk it just seems like his ex has way too much pull for an ex!! Especially because he has a someone new! Idk you’re a better person than me because I’d be flipping out about how much say she has.
 
Thank you guys for you input. I completely feel the same and agree with all you guys have said. I asked him last night if I should start taking birth control again and he said no your cycles are finally regulating, I then said but you don’t want a baby so why wouldn’t I? He said that he never said he didn’t want one! I just was like oh my gosh your so confusing. I’m just gonna hold off until he’s minds made up! He’s not being intimate with me anyway. I try all the time and he says he’s tired or we can the next day... getting tired of it
 
I hope you are ok! it definitely sounds like hes making all the decisions when it comes to when you guys have a baby which isnt fair and as for age i was 19 when i was pregnant with my first planned baby with my husband! hes 14 now and i have absolutely no regrets.
 
Wow. I'm sorry ur handling it alot better than I would. In my honest opinion, your DH was prob already having 2nd thoughts so when she said what she said, he used her words as an excuse as to why he doesnt wanna try now. I understand hes older and already has 2 but that shouldn't stop him from having a family w you! What did she think? He was gonna remarry but never have kids w his new wife?? But I bet if she met someone she wouldn't think twice about getting pregnant.
 
justonemore31 said:
Wow. I'm sorry ur handling it alot better than I would. In my honest opinion, your DH was prob already having 2nd thoughts so when she said what she said, he used her words as an excuse as to why he doesnt wanna try now. I understand hes older and already has 2 but that shouldn't stop him from having a family w you! What did she think? He was gonna remarry but never have kids w his new wife?? But I bet if she met someone she wouldn't think twice about getting pregnant.
Click to expand...
Oh she already has a kid by her fiancé and is talking about another! Haha
But on the bright side I got a coupon for first response for a free pregnancy test up to $22 in the mail today so that made me happy lol
 
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