Is TV that bad?

[Foogirl]

Be confused all you like. I'm not making a blanket statement. I do try to limit my kids watching tv. My son just wants to run and be destructive. I'm sorry he's all boy. Sometimes it's the only way to have some wind down time with him. I don't understand your circumstances nor do you mine. As for the ideals on pinterest, I don't see putting all that crap together when it seems no one would be interested. Just my two cents. I'm not a SAHM so it's not like I have very many rainy days to do with. On the weekends, we are usually out doing things more than we are at home. I think everything balances well in my house. It's just what works with my family. Not all is the same.

I'm absolutely shocked by this, actually. What a negative caricature of a self-fulfilling gender stereotype.

I don't think there was any need for this comment. People know their own children better than the rest of us and it's not really for anyone to cast judgements on how they deal with them. It's also worth remembering that all stereotypes are borne out of a commonality of behaviour. Why is it ok for girls to be considered girly girls and for this behaviour to be encouraged with pink sparkles, but if someone labels their child as "all boy" it's negative?

Boy or girl, if you have a child who is full on active and some telly time keeps them on their butt for a wee while then why the hell not? Not all children take well to independent play or sitting quietly stringing beads, no matter how hard you try.

 

[kissesandhugs]

Be confused all you like. I'm not making a blanket statement. I do try to limit my kids watching tv. My son just wants to run and be destructive. I'm sorry he's all boy. Sometimes it's the only way to have some wind down time with him. I don't understand your circumstances nor do you mine. As for the ideals on pinterest, I don't see putting all that crap together when it seems no one would be interested. Just my two cents. I'm not a SAHM so it's not like I have very many rainy days to do with. On the weekends, we are usually out doing things more than we are at home. I think everything balances well in my house. It's just what works with my family. Not all is the same.

I'm absolutely shocked by this, actually. What a negative caricature of a self-fulfilling gender stereotype.

I don't think there was any need for this comment. People know their own children better than the rest of us and it's not really for anyone to cast judgements on how they deal with them. It's also worth remembering that all stereotypes are borne out of a commonality of behaviour. Why is it ok for girls to be considered girly girls and for this behaviour to be encouraged with pink sparkles, but if someone labels their child as "all boy" it's negative?

Boy or girl, if you have a child who is full on active and some telly time keeps them on their butt for a wee while then why the hell not? Not all children take well to independent play or sitting quietly stringing beads, no matter how hard you try.

I have to agree with this. I honestly think it was a bit of an over reaction.

 

[overcomer79]

Be confused all you like. I'm not making a blanket statement. I do try to limit my kids watching tv. My son just wants to run and be destructive. I'm sorry he's all boy. Sometimes it's the only way to have some wind down time with him. I don't understand your circumstances nor do you mine. As for the ideals on pinterest, I don't see putting all that crap together when it seems no one would be interested. Just my two cents. I'm not a SAHM so it's not like I have very many rainy days to do with. On the weekends, we are usually out doing things more than we are at home. I think everything balances well in my house. It's just what works with my family. Not all is the same.

I'm absolutely shocked by this, actually. What a negative caricature of a self-fulfilling gender stereotype.

Really? Well you are entitled to your opinion. And I won't say I what I feel about opinions...

 

[MommyJogger]

Be confused all you like. I'm not making a blanket statement. I do try to limit my kids watching tv. My son just wants to run and be destructive. I'm sorry he's all boy. Sometimes it's the only way to have some wind down time with him. I don't understand your circumstances nor do you mine. As for the ideals on pinterest, I don't see putting all that crap together when it seems no one would be interested. Just my two cents. I'm not a SAHM so it's not like I have very many rainy days to do with. On the weekends, we are usually out doing things more than we are at home. I think everything balances well in my house. It's just what works with my family. Not all is the same.

I'm absolutely shocked by this, actually. What a negative caricature of a self-fulfilling gender stereotype.

I don't think there was any need for this comment. People know their own children better than the rest of us and it's not really for anyone to cast judgements on how they deal with them. It's also worth remembering that all stereotypes are borne out of a commonality of behaviour. Why is it ok for girls to be considered girly girls and for this behaviour to be encouraged with pink sparkles, but if someone labels their child as "all boy" it's negative?

Boy or girl, if you have a child who is full on active and some telly time keeps them on their butt for a wee while then why the hell not? Not all children take well to independent play or sitting quietly stringing beads, no matter how hard you try.

It's not calling a boy "all boy". It's saying that being "destructive" is all boy, which it most certainly is not. So instead of correcting the behavior of the 4 year old (which is fully withing the capabilities of that age), she zombifies him with television. That is exactly the kind of thing most people agree is an improper use of television at any age. It's never okay to justify bad behavior with stereotypes.

 

[overcomer79]

Be confused all you like. I'm not making a blanket statement. I do try to limit my kids watching tv. My son just wants to run and be destructive. I'm sorry he's all boy. Sometimes it's the only way to have some wind down time with him. I don't understand your circumstances nor do you mine. As for the ideals on pinterest, I don't see putting all that crap together when it seems no one would be interested. Just my two cents. I'm not a SAHM so it's not like I have very many rainy days to do with. On the weekends, we are usually out doing things more than we are at home. I think everything balances well in my house. It's just what works with my family. Not all is the same.

I'm absolutely shocked by this, actually. What a negative caricature of a self-fulfilling gender stereotype.

I don't think there was any need for this comment. People know their own children better than the rest of us and it's not really for anyone to cast judgements on how they deal with them. It's also worth remembering that all stereotypes are borne out of a commonality of behaviour. Why is it ok for girls to be considered girly girls and for this behaviour to be encouraged with pink sparkles, but if someone labels their child as "all boy" it's negative?

Boy or girl, if you have a child who is full on active and some telly time keeps them on their butt for a wee while then why the hell not? Not all children take well to independent play or sitting quietly stringing beads, no matter how hard you try.

It's not calling a boy "all boy". It's saying that being "destructive" is all boy, which it most certainly is not. So instead of correcting the behavior of the 4 year old (which is fully withing the capabilities of that age), she zombifies him with television. That is exactly the kind of thing most people agree is an improper use of television.

Are you in MY home????? Do you KNOW my son?????? Then how the HELL DO YOU KNOW HE ISN'T DESTRUCTIVE?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! And NO he isn't "zombified" by television. WTF does once a fucking week hurt?!?!?!?!?!?! He is a very active smart little boy but again your opinion rules them all.

My saying is there is no perfect mom but lots of ways to be a good one and I might not be a good one in your eyes but again you don't know me nor my family so your attacks on me aren't warranted.

 

[MommyJogger]

Be confused all you like. I'm not making a blanket statement. I do try to limit my kids watching tv. My son just wants to run and be destructive. I'm sorry he's all boy. Sometimes it's the only way to have some wind down time with him. I don't understand your circumstances nor do you mine. As for the ideals on pinterest, I don't see putting all that crap together when it seems no one would be interested. Just my two cents. I'm not a SAHM so it's not like I have very many rainy days to do with. On the weekends, we are usually out doing things more than we are at home. I think everything balances well in my house. It's just what works with my family. Not all is the same.

I'm absolutely shocked by this, actually. What a negative caricature of a self-fulfilling gender stereotype.

I don't think there was any need for this comment. People know their own children better than the rest of us and it's not really for anyone to cast judgements on how they deal with them. It's also worth remembering that all stereotypes are borne out of a commonality of behaviour. Why is it ok for girls to be considered girly girls and for this behaviour to be encouraged with pink sparkles, but if someone labels their child as "all boy" it's negative?

Boy or girl, if you have a child who is full on active and some telly time keeps them on their butt for a wee while then why the hell not? Not all children take well to independent play or sitting quietly stringing beads, no matter how hard you try.

It's not calling a boy "all boy". It's saying that being "destructive" is all boy, which it most certainly is not. So instead of correcting the behavior of the 4 year old (which is fully withing the capabilities of that age), she zombifies him with television. That is exactly the kind of thing most people agree is an improper use of television.

Are you in MY home????? Do you KNOW my son?????? Then how the HELL DO YOU KNOW HE ISN'T DESTRUCTIVE?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! And NO he isn't "zombified" by television. WTF does once a fucking week hurt?!?!?!?!?!?! He is a very active smart little boy but again your opinion rules them all.

My saying is there is no perfect mom but lots of ways to be a good one and I might not be a good one in your eyes but again you don't know me nor my family so your attacks on me aren't warranted.

I never said you were a bad mom. I never said your son isn't destructive. I said that to excuse bad behavior by incorrectly saying that the behavior is due to gender and insinuate that it's something unchangeable that you just have to deal with by plopping him in front of a tv is poor logic. It's a negative, self-fulfilling (because it's being excused by the gender) gender stereotype. And that's true if you're using tv to prevent destruction instead of correcting destruction and teaching how to play without destruction.

 

[overcomer79]

Be confused all you like. I'm not making a blanket statement. I do try to limit my kids watching tv. My son just wants to run and be destructive. I'm sorry he's all boy. Sometimes it's the only way to have some wind down time with him. I don't understand your circumstances nor do you mine. As for the ideals on pinterest, I don't see putting all that crap together when it seems no one would be interested. Just my two cents. I'm not a SAHM so it's not like I have very many rainy days to do with. On the weekends, we are usually out doing things more than we are at home. I think everything balances well in my house. It's just what works with my family. Not all is the same.

I'm absolutely shocked by this, actually. What a negative caricature of a self-fulfilling gender stereotype.

I don't think there was any need for this comment. People know their own children better than the rest of us and it's not really for anyone to cast judgements on how they deal with them. It's also worth remembering that all stereotypes are borne out of a commonality of behaviour. Why is it ok for girls to be considered girly girls and for this behaviour to be encouraged with pink sparkles, but if someone labels their child as "all boy" it's negative?

Boy or girl, if you have a child who is full on active and some telly time keeps them on their butt for a wee while then why the hell not? Not all children take well to independent play or sitting quietly stringing beads, no matter how hard you try.

It's not calling a boy "all boy". It's saying that being "destructive" is all boy, which it most certainly is not. So instead of correcting the behavior of the 4 year old (which is fully withing the capabilities of that age), she zombifies him with television. That is exactly the kind of thing most people agree is an improper use of television.

Are you in MY home????? Do you KNOW my son?????? Then how the HELL DO YOU KNOW HE ISN'T DESTRUCTIVE?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! And NO he isn't "zombified" by television. WTF does once a fucking week hurt?!?!?!?!?!?! He is a very active smart little boy but again your opinion rules them all.

My saying is there is no perfect mom but lots of ways to be a good one and I might not be a good one in your eyes but again you don't know me nor my family so your attacks on me aren't warranted.

I never said you were a bad mom. I never said your son isn't destructive. I said that to excuse bad behavior by incorrectly saying that the behavior is due to gender and insinuate that it's something unchangeable that you just have to deal with by plopping him in front of a tv is poor logic. It's a negative, self-fulfilling (because it's being excused by the gender) gender stereotype. And that's true if you're using tv to prevent destruction instead of correcting destruction and teaching how to play without destruction.

It is a saying that is commonly used by many people around here. Geez get over your self-righteous self!

And No, to get him to stop I don't just "plop" him in front of the tv lol. You are assuming and being ridiculous. I do discipline my children. But again thanks for your input.

Let me add that TV often time doesn't stop him from being rowdy and destructive...but again since you know my son and my home so well then you should know

 

[MommyJogger]

It is a saying that is commonly used by many people around here. Geez get over your self-righteous self!

I have never seen another on here excuse destructive behavior by saying "he's all boy". Sorry, but this is what people consider to be irresponsible use of television. It doesn't make you a bad mom. It doesn't make your kid bad. Destructiveness is something a lot of us deal with and that's okay. But rarely have I seen advised "Oh, he's destructive, just put him in front of the television."

 

[overcomer79]

It is a saying that is commonly used by many people around here. Geez get over your self-righteous self!

I have never seen another on here excuse destructive behavior by saying "he's all boy". Sorry, but this is what people consider to be irresponsible use of television. It doesn't make you a bad mom. It doesn't make your kid bad. Destructiveness is something a lot of us deal with and that's okay. But rarely have I seen advised "Oh, he's destructive, just put him in front of the television."

I added more to the comment please go back an read it before you ASSUME I just plop him in front of the tv...geez you know my house better than I do apparently.

 

[kit10grl]

It is a saying that is commonly used by many people around here. Geez get over your self-righteous self!

I have never seen another on here excuse destructive behavior by saying "he's all boy". Sorry, but this is what people consider to be irresponsible use of television. It doesn't make you a bad mom. It doesn't make your kid bad. Destructiveness is something a lot of us deal with and that's okay. But rarely have I seen advised "Oh, he's destructive, just put him in front of the television."

IF (and its only if) this lady was using the TV ALL day long instead of doing stuff with her son it would be a problem. But I have also had times when DS is doing something he isn't supposed too. Say playing with my phone, if I take the phone from him so he doesn't break it a tantrum will ensue if I say 'oh look what mickey mouse is doing on tv' he will get distracted and go watch the tv for a minute or two. Long enough for me to put my phone away and for him to forget about it. when he loses interest in mickey he then finds something else to do. Tantrum avoided

Parents in the toddler section of this forum would call it 'distraction technique' for avoiding destructive behaviour.


And it is one of the gender stereotypes round here that boys do like to take things apart its not about being destructive its about finding out how things work so they can understand better and it is seen as a 'boy thing' (to be clear I don't support gender stereotypes)


ETA - I find the term 'zombiefying' quite offensive having already stated how I feel about the educational value of tv. A zombie wouldn't learn from tv at all

 

[MommyJogger]

You said:
You let your under 2 watch TV because it's either that or you'd have to leave her screaming in her crib all alone. This implies that the 4yo not watching tv is not an option. I pointed out that you could just have the 4yo do something other than watch tv.
You replied with:
My 4yo just wants to be destructive. He's all boy. Which implied that not watching tv is somehow not an option because he'll just destroy everything if he's not watching tv.
I just think your comment did boys in general a gross disservice.

 

[kissesandhugs]

You said:
You let your under 2 watch TV because it's either that or you'd have to leave her screaming in her crib all alone. This implies that the 4yo not watching tv is not an option. I pointed out that you could just have the 4yo do something other than watch tv.
You replied with:
My 4yo just wants to be destructive. He's all boy. Which implied that not watching tv is somehow not an option because he'll just destroy everything if he's not watching tv.
I just think your comment did boys in general a gross disservice.

She also said "sometimes" it's the only way to have down time with him. Not all the time, not every time, not "There's absolutely no other options" but sometimes. I do see where each of you are coming from, but I also think you're just reading what you want to read and making a bigger deal out of it than it needs be.

 

[MommyJogger]

And it is one of the gender stereotypes round here that boys do like to take things apart its not about being destructive its about finding out how things work so they can understand better and it is seen as a 'boy thing' (to be clear I don't support gender stereotypes)

I would be fine with this. That's not a negative stereotype that encourages perpetuation of a bad behavior. I only responded because she said destructive and I took her at her word. I just don't see why the distraction has to be TV, as she indicated it did. In age 2+, it wouldn't really phase me for a parent to perform the distraction in your example.

 

[overcomer79]

And it is one of the gender stereotypes round here that boys do like to take things apart its not about being destructive its about finding out how things work so they can understand better and it is seen as a 'boy thing' (to be clear I don't support gender stereotypes)

I would be fine with this. That's not a negative stereotype that encourages perpetuation of a bad behavior. I only responded because she said destructive and I took her at her word. I just don't see why the distraction has to be TV, as she indicated it did. In age 2+, it wouldn't really phase me for a parent to perform the distraction in your example.

And in all your perfection do you suppose I do with my under aged daughter while I sometimes let my four year old watch tv if I'm the only one around??? Often times when DS is watching tv (I'm NOT a tv watcher so it's usually off when I am the only one there) with daddy, she is upstairs playing with me? but yes shockingly there are days where I am the only one there and oops I turn that horrid retched thing on. My initial comment was what do I do with dd in that case? I don't trust leaving my 4 year old not to sneak out of the house. But you took my statement and chose to put down every decision I do with my children.

My whole point is sometimes IN MY CASE, it is IMPOSSIBLE to avoid letting dd watch tv. But again, you smelled blood and went for the throat.

 

[JASMAK]

Certain people tend to do that around here. They are sharks sniffing for a victim.

 

[overcomer79]

Certain people tend to do that around here. They are sharks sniffing for a victim.

Been a member here for over four years and just used the ignore list for the first time.

 

[Foogirl]

I would be fine with this. That's not a negative stereotype that encourages perpetuation of a bad behavior. I only responded because she said destructive and I took her at her word. I just don't see why the distraction has to be TV, as she indicated it did. In age 2+, it wouldn't really phase me for a parent to perform the distraction in your example.

Or maybe you should wind your neck in and accept that different people parent in different ways and maybe your ideals of parenting don't suit every child.

I can absolutely guarantee there are times when "distraction techniques" don't work with my child. And as a parent I can be there all day trying in vain to have Abby sit quietly and do something if I have something that needs attending to for a short while. She thinks that she needs me to do everything with her, she thinks she will fall if I'm not there, there are a lot of fears in her world and you'll have to excuse me if I don't have limitless amounts of time to patiently sit with her 8 hours a day to try to coax her out of it. We do what we can, and sometimes she allows me to step out the room for a while. But it takes planning. And mostly I can do it but when I need to make a split second decision I can put the TV on and do what needs doing.

She also needs to rest, and quiet time for her is watching a wee movie, so her legs can work for the rest of the day, means she isnt limited. Watching TV is prettu much the only thing she doesnt get distracted from. Even if I sit reading her a book, she will want to be doing something at the same time. Someone like you can shoot me down for that if you wish, but come and live a day in my shoes before you make any sort of judgement. But I suppose because she has "special needs" it's ok for me to do that, whereas overcomer is simply not doing the right thing for her child.......

 

[meli1981]

Does she even have a two -three yo? Sometines tv is the ONKY thing tnat will distract her long enough for me to ummmm shower or GOD forbid eat?

 

[lhancock90]

Be confused all you like. I'm not making a blanket statement. I do try to limit my kids watching tv. My son just wants to run and be destructive. I'm sorry he's all boy. Sometimes it's the only way to have some wind down time with him. I don't understand your circumstances nor do you mine. As for the ideals on pinterest, I don't see putting all that crap together when it seems no one would be interested. Just my two cents. I'm not a SAHM so it's not like I have very many rainy days to do with. On the weekends, we are usually out doing things more than we are at home. I think everything balances well in my house. It's just what works with my family. Not all is the same.

I'm absolutely shocked by this, actually. What a negative caricature of a self-fulfilling gender stereotype.

I don't think there was any need for this comment. People know their own children better than the rest of us and it's not really for anyone to cast judgements on how they deal with them. It's also worth remembering that all stereotypes are borne out of a commonality of behaviour. Why is it ok for girls to be considered girly girls and for this behaviour to be encouraged with pink sparkles, but if someone labels their child as "all boy" it's negative?

Boy or girl, if you have a child who is full on active and some telly time keeps them on their butt for a wee while then why the hell not? Not all children take well to independent play or sitting quietly stringing beads, no matter how hard you try.

It's not calling a boy "all boy". It's saying that being "destructive" is all boy, which it most certainly is not. So instead of correcting the behavior of the 4 year old (which is fully withing the capabilities of that age), she zombifies him with television. That is exactly the kind of thing most people agree is an improper use of television at any age. It's never okay to justify bad behavior with stereotypes.

Wow. Just wow.
Today Evelyn was making me want to rip out my own eyes so i let her watch Toy Story. Guess i', zombifying too!

 

[MommyJogger]

And it is one of the gender stereotypes round here that boys do like to take things apart its not about being destructive its about finding out how things work so they can understand better and it is seen as a 'boy thing' (to be clear I don't support gender stereotypes)

I would be fine with this. That's not a negative stereotype that encourages perpetuation of a bad behavior. I only responded because she said destructive and I took her at her word. I just don't see why the distraction has to be TV, as she indicated it did. In age 2+, it wouldn't really phase me for a parent to perform the distraction in your example.

And in all your perfection do you suppose I do with my under aged daughter while I sometimes let my four year old watch tv if I'm the only one around??? Often times when DS is watching tv (I'm NOT a tv watcher so it's usually off when I am the only one there) with daddy, she is upstairs playing with me? but yes shockingly there are days where I am the only one there and oops I turn that horrid retched thing on. My initial comment was what do I do with dd in that case? I don't trust leaving my 4 year old not to sneak out of the house. But you took my statement and chose to put down every decision I do with my children.

My whole point is sometimes IN MY CASE, it is IMPOSSIBLE to avoid letting dd watch tv. But again, you smelled blood and went for the throat.

Yep, because pointing out a logical stretch (your statement that you either have to let your dd watch tv or leave her crying alone) equates to putting down every parenting decision and "going for the throat". That's pretty dramatic and your statement is still illogical, otherwise people without television would have no way of distracting their own children. I really don't give a shit whether you let your kids watch the goddamn tv. But it bothers me and I'm going to point it out when someone makes an idiotic logical fallacy like that one.