Is TV that bad?

[onetwothreebp]

Speaking of pretty dramatic....

 

[MommyJogger]

Speaking of pretty dramatic....

Care to point out a specific or are you just going to randomly throw in comments without context?

 

[onetwothreebp]

While I agree with a lot of your points regarding TV watching and the effects it can have, I think you were really harsh on overcome79 and assumed a lot from her statements. I understand wanting to help people on a subject you feel strongly about, but I think being gentle can be more effective.

 

[kissesandhugs]

Speaking of pretty dramatic....

Care to point out a specific or are you just going to randomly throw in comments without context?

"I'm absolutely shocked by this, actually. What a negative caricature of a self-fulfilling gender stereotype."


This was pretty dramatic. A bit ott. Sounded like you were about to faint and keel right over bc of her response, which was pretty mild.

Sorry, don't mean to speak on onetwothree's behalf but thought I'd throw my thought in on it.

 

[MommyJogger]

Speaking of pretty dramatic....

Care to point out a specific or are you just going to randomly throw in comments without context?

"I'm absolutely shocked by this, actually. What a negative caricature of a self-fulfilling gender stereotype."


This was pretty dramatic. A bit ott. Sounded like you were about to faint and keel right over bc of her response, which was pretty mild.

Sorry, don't mean to speak on onetwothree's behalf but thought I'd throw my thought in on it.

OK, tucking my raised hackles back in, I'd like to address this in a non-confrontational way. Is it really ott to be shocked by what I read as a statement saying that to be a boy is to be incurably destructive? That it's impossible (her word) to get by without tv because her son would otherwise destroy things? Because I would like to reiterate that I have never seen it be okay on these boards to excuse bad behavior by saying "boys will be boys". I've frequently seen the opposite: that most people rail against that kind of justification and say that to do so is to teach children that they can engage in certain bad behavior based on their gender. That's what shocked me.
I didn't mean it in a "oh my goodness how dare she, omfg, call an ambulance" kind of way. I meant it in a "that's unusual that you feel that way and I'm a little sad that you would view a whole gender in that kind of negative light" kind of way.
So I'd like to say that I'm incredibly sorry if that post came across in a way I didn't mean it. I'm not trying to judge or help. I'm not even trying to say that overcomer needs to find a way to make sure her daughter never so much as glances at the TV. This isn't a strong enough issue to me to feel any way about her parenting from it and the tv watching obviously doesn't bother overcomer, so she doesn't need help. I just wanted to challenge the strange dichotomy she presented that her choices are to either let her dd watch tv or cry alone in her crib. Because this is the debates section.

 

[kissesandhugs]

Speaking of pretty dramatic....

Care to point out a specific or are you just going to randomly throw in comments without context?

"I'm absolutely shocked by this, actually. What a negative caricature of a self-fulfilling gender stereotype."


This was pretty dramatic. A bit ott. Sounded like you were about to faint and keel right over bc of her response, which was pretty mild.

Sorry, don't mean to speak on onetwothree's behalf but thought I'd throw my thought in on it.

OK, tucking my raised hackles back in, I'd like to address this in a non-confrontational way. Is it really ott to be shocked by what I read as a statement saying that to be a boy is to be incurably destructive? That it's impossible (her word) to get by without tv because her son would otherwise destroy things? Because I would like to reiterate that I have never seen it be okay on these boards to excuse bad behavior by saying "boys will be boys". I've frequently seen the opposite: that most people rail against that kind of justification and say that to do so is to teach children that they can engage in certain bad behavior based on their gender. That's what shocked me.
I didn't mean it in a "oh my goodness how dare she, omfg, call an ambulance" kind of way. I meant it in a "that's unusual that you feel that way and I'm a little sad that you would view a whole gender in that kind of negative light" kind of way.
So I'd like to say that I'm incredibly sorry if that post came across in a way I didn't mean it. I'm not trying to judge or help. I'm not even trying to say that overcomer needs to find a way to make sure her daughter never so much as glances at the TV. This isn't a strong enough issue to me to feel any way about her parenting from it and the tv watching obviously doesn't bother overcomer, so she doesn't need help. I just wanted to challenge the strange dichotomy she presented that her choices are to either let her dd watch tv or cry alone in her crib. Because this is the debates section.

When she stated "he's all boy" I'm sure she didn't mean ALL boys are destructive. As a pp stated, boys have the tendency to be more curious on how things work hence taking things apart etc. Maybe her son just has a way of being more "destructive" on taking things apart and that's not necessarily negative. It's just how her son is, and I'm sure it's a pain sometimes where other times it may be okay. I'm not sure exactly as I don't know the whole situation. Sometimes mom can't always be there to watch him explore when dinner needs to be cooked, dishes need to be washed. So to ensure his safety and his sisters, she uses the tv here and there. I feel like I'm rambling a bit maybe but all in all her son has the "boyish" tendencies of exploring and taking things apart in a destructive manner and again-not neccesarily a negative thing. But more of an unsafe hobby when mom isn't right there to guide him? I hope I make sense

 

[emyandpotato]

Rory loves the telly and will often ask for it on. When he's eating his tea I often let him watch it as he's a truly terrible eater and sitting still just listening to people talk he will become frustrated and refuse to eat, but when distracted watching telly he'll eat much more (which may backfire on me, but at the moment he's so skinny I am more concerned about that). And we live with my parents ATM so he has to sit at the table, no exceptions, so whereas before I'd feed him small amounts while he played I cannot do that any more.

I also often put the telly on if I'm exhausted in the morning and he decides to wake up early. Yes, he'd probably benefit more from something creative but he also benefits from an alert and awake mummy. And he enjoys TV, even if it is destroying his brain cells or whatever else, so in the short term I don't feel it's doing him damage. He is loved, given constant attention from so many people, he plays outside, has many educational toys, gets loads of rough play with us, one on one time, creative activities, trips out, has pets to play with, has been parented the 'natural' (hate that term, but yeah) way with babywearing and all that jazz... I don't really feel ashamed for allowed some telly. Yeah it might do him good to ban it completely but I don't really want to. As kids me and my sisters (now in our late teens, early twenties) were banned from telly and IMHO it made us no smarter nor any different to any other children, if anything we're more obsessed with TV now cos it feels such a treat still.

 

[overcomer79]

edited as it isn't worth my time

 

[overcomer79]

And just to clarify for those that think I'm a monster...I don't think all boys are destructive. It's just a "saying"...cliche if you will in my family. I'm sure people have sayings in their families that many of us wouldn't understand. So I guess if I say my daughter is a girly girl ..she's a diva...I'm a stereotyping jerk...*shrugs* All the political correctness in the world really sucks the fun out of life.

 

[Foogirl]

I often hear the "he's all boy" comment and it's not negative in any way, just a way to describe very boyish boys - and the sure do exist.

For what it's worth there isn't a single comment you've made that seems like you are excusing his behaviour and I am certain you don't sit and watch him Trash the house and smile and say "he's all boy' bless him". It is also perfectly clear from what you have said that neither do you observe those tendencies and simply switch on the TV every time to have him sit quietly. As far as I can tell you explained that left alone to his devices whilst you tend to your other LO, he will generally find something to do that isn't what you'd like him to do so when your other LO wakes screaming, you stick on the telly whilst you go see to her. Of course, it's ok for me to do that because Abby has special needs, it's you parents with neurotypical (as they seem to want to call it) children for whom this is the worst thing you could ever do to your children.

 

[steph.]

I let my 20 month old watch tv. I spend at least 10 hours a day alone with her and sometimes mama needs a break! We always go out in the morning and in the afternoon but when we are home the tv is often on in the background. She is very bright, says over 200 words in English and Portuguese, does imaginative play by herself, loves being outside. Her life is very full with other things, tv is just a small part of it.

 

[tinkerbelle93]

I don't think there is anything wrong with a bit of TV. Seems kind of pointless to ban it all-together when they will just end up watching it when they're older anyway. I can't see banning it having any benefit to your child.

It's good when you need to grab a shower or just want 5 mins with a coffee.

Oliver has even picked up a couple of new words from the TV. He picks up bits of paper and says 'Paperrr!' now thanks to Mister Maker

So yes I don't think it's bad. When I was pregnant I would say 'My child will not watch TV' along with 'My child will only have 100% organic homemade food' and a million and one other stupid things. xxx

 

[JASMAK]

I don't think there is anything wrong with a bit of TV. Seems kind of pointless to ban it all-together when they will just end up watching it when they're older anyway. I can't see banning it having any benefit to your child.

It's good when you need to grab a shower or just want 5 mins with a coffee.

Oliver has even picked up a couple of new words from the TV. He picks up bits of paper and says 'Paperrr!' now thanks to Mister Maker

So yes I don't think it's bad. When I was pregnant I would say 'My child will not watch TV' along with 'My child will only have 100% organic homemade food' and a million and one other stupid things. xxx

Had to LOL at the last bit!!! We are all the PERFECT parents before we actually have kids, right? Hahahahaha. I had certain ideals too..and even when they were young I had ideals. Now mine are 10, 8, and 3....and things are waaaay different. But, it's not me 'giving in'. You just live and learn. The more kids I have and the older they get, the less I realise that I know.

 

[emyandpotato]

I don't think there is anything wrong with a bit of TV. Seems kind of pointless to ban it all-together when they will just end up watching it when they're older anyway. I can't see banning it having any benefit to your child.

It's good when you need to grab a shower or just want 5 mins with a coffee.

Oliver has even picked up a couple of new words from the TV. He picks up bits of paper and says 'Paperrr!' now thanks to Mister Maker

So yes I don't think it's bad. When I was pregnant I would say 'My child will not watch TV' along with 'My child will only have 100% organic homemade food' and a million and one other stupid things. xxx

Had to LOL at the last bit!!! We are all the PERFECT parents before we actually have kids, right? Hahahahaha. I had certain ideals too..and even when they were young I had ideals. Now mine are 10, 8, and 3....and things are waaaay different. But, it's not me 'giving in'. You just live and learn. The more kids I have and the older they get, the less I realise that I know.

Oh my gosh I so agree. I was all about the natural, being a perfect mum, no telly and constant creative activities and playgroups and learning to read at 2... Ha! I've stuck to most, but the odd bar of chocolate is a delight to him, and he loves Mr Tumble. I honestly don't see any harm is allowing him small but naughty pleasures once in a while, childhood is about joy afterall! I think telly is only a problem when it's a parenting substitute.

 

[Foogirl]

I'm all about the 80/20 rule. If they are eating the healthy stuff, playing the good way and saying the right thing 80 percent of the time, the other 20 percent we can relax and be the crap parents we need to be to keep some sanity.

 

[meli1981]

Haha! But i dont think its crap parenting, its called surviving