is/was your LO a really bad sleeper? support and advise thread!

[firefly15]

ellebelle - you are also amazing for dealing with twins, hope you've had a good night x

Our night was actually not quite so good last night. LO has a cold, possible teething and needs a poo but hasn't been for 2 days so we had quite a few wake ups from 10pm, up again at 1.15, 2.20, 2.50 and then after some calpol he slept from about 3.15 til 7.15. Annoyingly I couldn't stay asleep so kept waking up every hour or so
He's not a happy boy though and won't feed properly or eat this morning so he's obviously feeling a bit rubbish. Damn!! Just when things were improving pesky germs have to scupper it.

Hope everyone managed at least one decent block of sleep last night.

 

[MrsHedgehog]

We had another good night, just one brief wake up between midnight and about 6.30am. She even went back to sleep without boob, just cuddled into me and dosed off again. I BF at 6.30 and since then I've had to re-settle her a few times and she's still sleeping now at almost 11am. Now and again she wakes a little, wriggles around and then falls back into a deeper sleep. It seems like she's getting the hang of self-settling. It's been much cooler here the past few days so maybe that's why she is sleeping better. That's why I could never have done CIO because I've always felt there must be a valid reason for LO to wake so frequently. Maybe she was just too hot and a bit thirsty. Anyway, hopefully this good sleeping will continue and then we can work on getting her to bed earlier and then maybe even into her cot for part of the night!

 

[lisa1980]

Yay for Mrs Hedgehog!

Kosh and Firefly.

Our night was not good either

I don't know what was up with him but he kept waking and would fight going back to sleep so I was pretty much awake from 1am-6am with maybe 20mins of sleep between those hours.

It could be teething but I've been blaming his teeth since he's been born and he wasn't crying, didn't want to feed, just chatting and refusing to go back to sleep so I'm not 100% convinced. He's 9 months old today - never in a million years did i think I'd be getting less sleep now than when he was born

Poor OH has had enough really and I don't blame him. He took him from 6am so I could get some sleep but his sleep was very broken too. He works long hours in a stressful job so it's difficult for him to be woken so much. He's becoming more keen on sleep training and on nights like last night I tend to agree. We both thought we were getting somewhere which is why it's doubly disappointing. Here's hoping that last night was a blip.

 

[firefly15]

Lisa, that most certainly qualifies as a rubbish night. Fingers crossed it was just a blip and things are better tonight. When do you have to go back to work - do you have to make a decision on whether to do sleep training soon? x

 

[AngelUK]

My night was blissful as OH had nightduty and the sweet man didn't even wake me for the midnight feed though we had agreed he would But OH said the night was ok. Dom wanted feeding at 12:30 and then at 3:30 and then again at 6:30 which means every 3 hours but he slept between the feeds without waking! I hope this continues! While 3 hour rotas are shorter than their usual 4 hour rotas during the day, I am prepared to accept anything that gives us sleep in between!

Ellebelle how are things with you? Your OH was a bit... less useful than mine if I remember correctly? Did your twins sleep better at least?

to you all

 

[ellebelle]

kosh, angel, thanks for asking - things with the OH are always a rollercoaster. We're actually broken up, and I don't trust him alone with the girls (he has a temper and has been emotionally abusive), but I give him time with them in my presence. It's a very messed up situation.

I enjoyed reading that some of you had positive nights!!!
One of mine slept 6 hours lastnight (from 1:30 - 6:30).
Isn't it just so confusing when you have a good night and you KNOW baby is capable of sleeping longer stretches... and then some nights they wake every hour? I just wish I knew what caused the wakings!

 

[notmommyyet]

I dont know how you ladies do it. DD eats around 10pm and sleeps till about 5am then back to bed till about 8-9am. I give you guys serious credit for going that long with no sleep.

 

[kosh]

angel, mrs hedgehog, 1/2 ellebelle

lisa, firefly

ellebele, i can't imagine how hard it must be the situation with your OH and having twins

lisa - could try and wait out a bit to decide on the training? It seemed to me things were improving with your LO, but I wouldn't expect him to go from crap sleepers to great sleepers just like that

ellebele, angel - i always wonder, when one of your twins wake up crying does the other one always wake up?

hope your days are going well. we just had an unprecedented 2.5hr nap!

 

[lisa1980]

Ellebelle - how stressful for you, and with twins too - you can definitely share the superwoman title with Angel Seriously I struggle so much with one, when i see ladies with twins I feel like they should be wearing some sort of medal.

Lisa, that most certainly qualifies as a rubbish night. Fingers crossed it was just a blip and things are better tonight. When do you have to go back to work - do you have to make a decision on whether to do sleep training soon? x

I really hope it was a blip.

I go back at the start of November, so a while away yet but time is passing so quickly and if I did do any training I'd want to do it in plenty of time so as to minimise stress (and to reassess if things weren't working).

Kosh - I will wait a while I think...mainly because I'm still not quite brave enough (I wish I was in a way) and still hold (maybe delusional) hope that he IS improving on his own. I definitely still expect to have bad nights but will be happy once the good outnumber the bad. My LO is most certainly a child of extremes...it's either a great night or a night from hell, there's really no middle ground

I just don't know what to do for the best, and I know everyone has a different opinion on sleep training which I totally respect, but I feel like in my specific situation I will HAVE to ensure he's sleeping better by the time I go back to work as it would be genuinely dangerous for me to be this sleep deprived whilst at work and I can't risk it. If I were a SAHM, or even if I had a desk job or something maybe, I probably wouldn't even consider it as although it sucks I can handle it whilst at home with the option of daytime naps to help.

If I could guarantee that his sleep would be better (not STTN, just bearable) by then then I'd leave it alone, but I've been waiting 9 months for improvement and it's just not reliable.

I don't know...part of me feels that it would benefit LO so much to learn how to sleep better, as when he was screaming for over an hour in his dad's arms yesterday evening after several post-bedtime wakings, I was sat downstairs thinking this can't be good for him. I know he's being held but it doesn't seem to comfort him. If anything he seems to get more distressed as he's SO tired and just wants to get back to sleep but can't work out how to.

Meh. I wish someone could tell me what to do, or at least that there was some consensus or guarantee that it would work.

He's cruising the furniture as of yesterday so maybe it's a developmental thing (I swear I could write a book on excuses for poor baby sleep )

 

[Emzy1]

Can i join in this group, LO has never slept well he wakes every hour or 2 it can be every half an hour and occasionally he goes 3 hours.
Any one else have a babies who has never slept through all the things i read are babies who used to sleep through suddenly waking but Logan has never slept through.
He usually has a feed and goes back to sleep straight away maybe once or twice a week he will wake for an hour or two in the night. Surly a 7 month old should need feeding so much during the night.

 

[lisa1980]

Can i join in this group, LO has never slept well he wakes every hour or 2 it can be every half an hour and occasionally he goes 3 hours.
Any one else have a babies who has never slept through all the things i read are babies who used to sleep through suddenly waking but Logan has never slept through.
He usually has a feed and goes back to sleep straight away maybe once or twice a week he will wake for an hour or two in the night. Surly a 7 month old should need feeding so much during the night.

My LO has never slept through. Ever. I don't know whether it's better that he's never STTN so I didn't have a chance to get used to it, or whether that's just what I tell myself

The longest stretch we've ever had from him was 6 hours one night but it was a one-off. He's been improving over the last couple of weeks but it's still a bit random and last night was horrendous so I feel your pain

 

[kosh]

Can i join in this group, LO has never slept well he wakes every hour or 2 it can be every half an hour and occasionally he goes 3 hours.
Any one else have a babies who has never slept through all the things i read are babies who used to sleep through suddenly waking but Logan has never slept through.
He usually has a feed and goes back to sleep straight away maybe once or twice a week he will wake for an hour or two in the night. Surly a 7 month old should need feeding so much during the night.

My LO has never slept through. Ever. I don't know whether it's better that he's never STTN so I didn't have a chance to get used to it, or whether that's just what I tell myself

The longest stretch we've ever had from him was 6 hours one night but it was a one-off. He's been improving over the last couple of weeks but it's still a bit random and last night was horrendous so I feel your pain

welcome
mine never slept through either, and i agree i prefer it this way
for him the longest stretch was 6-7hr I think when he was a week old and that was it never again

 

[AngelUK]

kosh, angel, thanks for asking - things with the OH are always a rollercoaster. We're actually broken up, and I don't trust him alone with the girls (he has a temper and has been emotionally abusive), but I give him time with them in my presence. It's a very messed up situation.

I enjoyed reading that some of you had positive nights!!!
One of mine slept 6 hours lastnight (from 1:30 - 6:30).
Isn't it just so confusing when you have a good night and you KNOW baby is capable of sleeping longer stretches... and then some nights they wake every hour? I just wish I knew what caused the wakings!

So now you are on your own completely? I don't know how you do it, I seriously don't. I think my Sebastian would sleep through most nights as well if I let him (he is a bad eater) but even with one baby waking every hour or so it is hell! So I cannot imagine doing it every night, though I will have to soon when OH goes back to work.

And yeah I too wish I knew WHY Dominic can sleep 6 hours (he did it once) or 4 hours (he used to) and then wakes every 45 minutes. PPl have been suggesting it was cause the last month was unusually hot but I don't think so. As much as I like finding excuses for him, I don't think they can be found outside his lil stubborn head lol

 

[kosh]

I go back at the start of November, so a while away yet but time is passing so quickly and if I did do any training I'd want to do it in plenty of time so as to minimise stress (and to reassess if things weren't working).

Kosh - I will wait a while I think...mainly because I'm still not quite brave enough (I wish I was in a way) and still hold (maybe delusional) hope that he IS improving on his own. I definitely still expect to have bad nights but will be happy once the good outnumber the bad. My LO is most certainly a child of extremes...it's either a great night or a night from hell, there's really no middle ground

I just don't know what to do for the best, and I know everyone has a different opinion on sleep training which I totally respect, but I feel like in my specific situation I will HAVE to ensure he's sleeping better by the time I go back to work as it would be genuinely dangerous for me to be this sleep deprived whilst at work and I can't risk it. If I were a SAHM, or even if I had a desk job or something maybe, I probably wouldn't even consider it as although it sucks I can handle it whilst at home with the option of daytime naps to help.

If I could guarantee that his sleep would be better (not STTN, just bearable) by then then I'd leave it alone, but I've been waiting 9 months for improvement and it's just not reliable.

I don't know...part of me feels that it would benefit LO so much to learn how to sleep better, as when he was screaming for over an hour in his dad's arms yesterday evening after several post-bedtime wakings, I was sat downstairs thinking this can't be good for him. I know he's being held but it doesn't seem to comfort him. If anything he seems to get more distressed as he's SO tired and just wants to get back to sleep but can't work out how to.

Meh. I wish someone could tell me what to do, or at least that there was some consensus or guarantee that it would work.

He's cruising the furniture as of yesterday so maybe it's a developmental thing (I swear I could write a book on excuses for poor baby sleep )

I too go back to work in November and I am pretty worried too. Can I ask you what you do Lisa? I read you said you might kill someone if you were sleep deprived - just curious! my job is quite demanding too and even though prob not as dangerous as yours, I could waste loads of money if I did something wrong.

I was discussing this with a friend of mine the other day, I was telling her that I am getting really worried re how I'll cope and she just told me 'like everyone else' She's very against sleep training (even more than me!) and what I was saying to her is that it is so much easier to cope when you do not have the pressure of a demanding job to go to (she works from home) and that I needed to know now that everything will be ok. She then said that I should try to relax as otherwise LO will pick up on that and will be worse. Told her to eff off.

However, when I read your post I thought that if you decide to sleep train before you go back to work so that you know he (and you!) can sleep ok, then everything might change again once you do go back! who's going to look after LO when you are at work? Because something that I did hear is that it is not uncommon, even for good sleepers to go all wrong when mommy goes back to work as they want to compensate for time/milk during the night. something else that might happen is that he might get more tired in nursery and sleep better at night,which would be great, of course.

I am not trying to put you off sleep training, I'd totally understand if that's the way you want to go, but I am only saying it because you say:
I will HAVE to ensure he's sleeping better by the time I go back to work, and unfortunately that might actually not happen even if you ST and it works. Our LOs are a bit more unpredictable I think.

 

[Emzy1]

I also think its better to have never slept through, We had one 6 hour sleep a few months ago but i was awake worrying half the time but it was a one off.
Im so glad im not the only one all i hear is people saying their LO sleep through or moan because they had to get up 2 or 3 times.
Ive tried everything, but i think its just a waiting game now although every night i think tonight he will sleep because he is tired, eaten lots, had lots of milk etc

 

[lisa1980]

Kosh - I'm a doctor and I'll be working long shifts (plus nights etc) in a busy Emergency Dept. It's pretty stressful and I never get to sit down (or eat half the time!), plus I need to be on the ball as there's no mercy for those who screw up because of the potential to really harm someone or worse I'm nervous already as I feel like my knowledge and skills are a little rusty from being on mat leave for so long as well as being so sleep deprived. It's just SO busy and you're expected to make good decisions in split-seconds, as well as having to perform minor procedures (the thought of doing this feeling how I feel today is terrifying!)

I do understand your friend's perspective a little as if I worked from home I probably would just 'deal with it' (although I'm not saying it would be in any way easy) but I just can't justify working in my current state (most days...past few days were a wonderful exception ). I absolutely would NOT want to be treated (or even worse, my LO to be treated) in an emergency by a doctor as tired and frazzled as I am, and I wouldn't expect anyone to - people deserve competent treatment as a minimum, particularly in that type of environment.

My MIL will be looking after LO when i go back which I'm really pleased about as she's SO good with him and he LOVES her and sees her all the time now so I'm hoping the transition won't be too painful for him. He takes a bottle well (I'm kind of combi-feeding now tbh) and she'll be coming to our house (and staying overnight sometimes) so he'll be in familiar surroundings, although I don't doubt that it'll still cause things to be unsettled for a while, and I'm happy to deal with frequent wakings at that point if I can be more confident of it being a 'phase' than I am now.

I know what you're saying about our LOs being unpredictable, and I'm sure that it wouldn't be plain sailing even if we did manage to improve his sleep now, but a bit of me just needs to know that he could do it as I think I'll feel less stressed about the whole thing if I knew it were possible for him to sleep better (more consistently at least).

I feel a bit like i'm stuck between a rock and a hard place with it all. I fully understand why people don't want to sleep train and if I could figure out a way to avoid it and function as a human being then I would, but I'm all out of ideas

 

[ellebelle]

So now you are on your own completely? I don't know how you do it, I seriously don't. I think my Sebastian would sleep through most nights as well if I let him (he is a bad eater) but even with one baby waking every hour or so it is hell! So I cannot imagine doing it every night, though I will have to soon when OH goes back to work.

And yeah I too wish I knew WHY Dominic can sleep 6 hours (he did it once) or 4 hours (he used to) and then wakes every 45 minutes. PPl have been suggesting it was cause the last month was unusually hot but I don't think so. As much as I like finding excuses for him, I don't think they can be found outside his lil stubborn head lol

Yes I am on my own - though I spend weekends at my parents' house to catch a bit of a break. I never ask for help in the night, but if my mom hears that both babies are up on a screaming rampage, she comes and helps me settle them.

I know, I try and think of excuses for mine - too hot, too cold, teething! But who will ever know.

 

[AngelUK]

You are amazing, you really are. Hope you get a better night's sleep tonight
But how bad is your non sleeping twin? And has she always been like this or is this new? Thing is ppl, always say it will get better it will get better but your girls are 8 month + and here you are! There are quite a number of ladies here with older LO too. Makes me feel less than hopeful to be honest.

 

[ellebelle]

You are amazing, you really are. Hope you get a better night's sleep tonight
But how bad is your non sleeping twin? And has she always been like this or is this new? Thing is ppl, always say it will get better it will get better but your girls are 8 month + and here you are! There are quite a number of ladies here with older LO too. Makes me feel less than hopeful to be honest.

BOTH my girls are bad sleepers!
I fear that I caused it but that's just the way things went, you know?
My cousin's baby was a bad sleeper but suddenly around 10 months it got much better. She just made sure she had a rigid bedtime routine and really stuck with it.
I want to try a little bit of sleep training so they learn to self settle, because as it is now, I spend 3 - 4 hours putting them to sleep at night and that is just too much.

Anyway, I am glad there is another twin mom in here!

 

[Boo44]

Not a good start to the night here bath bottle at 7pm has resulted for some reason in a wide awake baby. Mind you this has been a recent pattern. In fact he's never twigged that bath and bottle mean sleep
So now I'm say next to his Moses basket shoving his dummy in if he fusses as I'm determined not to rock him to sleep