is/was your LO a really bad sleeper? support and advise thread!

[AngelUK]

Good luck Boo. In a contest of wills, Dominic so far always wins over me lol.

Ellebelle I think that we made Dominic worse too cause we always gave in and rocked him to sleep rather than try and put him down awake cause he would cry. But it is so hard when it takes sooo long for him to fall asleep anyway! I mean, tonight their bedtime was at 7:30 and till 9 he was crying every 20 minutes. I am not sure he won't cry again any minute now but sometimes he does fall asleep more deeply till 10 or 11. But I never dare hope.
What bedtime routine did your cousin use? I have been recommended bath, bottle, bed? But we don't bathe our boys every night cause Seb hates bath time and has very dry skin anyway. So twice a week is as much as they get. I do realise that might change when they start crawling etc and get really dirty but hopefully by then Seb will enjoy it more.
What sleep training are you thinking of? I would like to do something too but anything that involves even a little crying won't work cause I don't want Sebastian to suffer/wake. I couldn't really separate them at night cause I lack the space, plus I am a lil worried about the neighbours

 

[Gemmamuk]

Hey ladies! Sorry I haven't been on here much the last few days - been so busy!!!

Sorry most of you seem to have had a bad few nights

I'm almost a bit scared to post on here and actually 'say' it - but we've had 4 AMAZING nights in a row! I've no doubts it was down to controlled crying. Last night was the best by far! I was running a little late, but gave him his dinner at 7, bath at 7.15 and bottle was finished by 7.35. He cried for 25 mins and then zonked out at 8pm - and didn't wake until 3.45!!!!!!
Even better - I just turned him over and have his dummy and rubbed his back and he crashed back out until 6.45 when he woke for a bottle!!! I had to wake him then at 8 as we were going out.

Tonight he kind of whimpered for about 30 seconds and fell straight asleep!

I'm actually in shock that after 7 and a half months of feeding and cuddling to sleep and him waking every 20-45 mins, only resettling with bottle/boob - he is now sleeping nearly 8 hour stretches and is going practically 12 hours before wanting a feed!!!

See there is hope!!! My son was a horrendous sleeper but he's now proving he CAN do it!!!

Hope you all get good nights tonight

 

[chocolala]

Evening.

Not been around last few days as I've been busy reading 50 shades of grey

We're going to be in for a rough night, I've been trying to get lily to sleep since 7pm. She fell asleep at 8, then woke half an hour later and has been fighting ever since. I suspect she won't go to sleep until around 11:30 - 3 hours after her 30 min sleep.

I'm fuming and frustrated as I know she'll wake at about 7am and be a grumpy turd for most of the day.

And on top of that the husband had already pissed me off!

 

[Gemmamuk]

Oh dear
Hope your wrong and she surprises you hun
Sorry to hear about hubby upsetting you - must be the day for it as mine has driven me nuts today!! Lol

 

[Boo44]

Hey ladies! Sorry I haven't been on here much the last few days - been so busy!!!

Sorry most of you seem to have had a bad few nights

I'm almost a bit scared to post on here and actually 'say' it - but we've had 4 AMAZING nights in a row! I've no doubts it was down to controlled crying. Last night was the best by far! I was running a little late, but gave him his dinner at 7, bath at 7.15 and bottle was finished by 7.35. He cried for 25 mins and then zonked out at 8pm - and didn't wake until 3.45!!!!!!
Even better - I just turned him over and have his dummy and rubbed his back and he crashed back out until 6.45 when he woke for a bottle!!! I had to wake him then at 8 as we were going out.

Tonight he kind of whimpered for about 30 seconds and fell straight asleep!

I'm actually in shock that after 7 and a half months of feeding and cuddling to sleep and him waking every 20-45 mins, only resettling with bottle/boob - he is now sleeping nearly 8 hour stretches and is going practically 12 hours before wanting a feed!!!

See there is hope!!! My son was a horrendous sleeper but he's now proving he CAN do it!!!

Hope you all get good nights tonight

Sounds great! CC is tempting to me already but not sure if my LO is too little? Also you said 25 mins of crying, that sounds a long time to me! It's totally worth it I can see that! But I think I'd give in before then.... Is it hard?

 

[Gemmamuk]

Your LO may be a bit little yet but I would say definately worth it. Thb I think I have mollycoddled him because we were both a bit traumatized from his birth. He'd only have to whimper and id gone running and I don't think I persevered trying to get him in the Moses basket. That said, I think we did the best we could in the situation at the time.

CC is definately making a huge difference. Night 1 he cried 60 mins, but we went in every 5-10 mins and he settled himself off to sleep. Night 2 it was 30 mins, last night 25 and tonight - 30 seconds!!

His naps are MUCH better too

 

[kosh]

Kosh - I'm a doctor and I'll be working long shifts (plus nights etc) in a busy Emergency Dept. It's pretty stressful and I never get to sit down (or eat half the time!), plus I need to be on the ball as there's no mercy for those who screw up because of the potential to really harm someone or worse I'm nervous already as I feel like my knowledge and skills are a little rusty from being on mat leave for so long as well as being so sleep deprived. It's just SO busy and you're expected to make good decisions in split-seconds, as well as having to perform minor procedures (the thought of doing this feeling how I feel today is terrifying!)

I do understand your friend's perspective a little as if I worked from home I probably would just 'deal with it' (although I'm not saying it would be in any way easy) but I just can't justify working in my current state (most days...past few days were a wonderful exception ). I absolutely would NOT want to be treated (or even worse, my LO to be treated) in an emergency by a doctor as tired and frazzled as I am, and I wouldn't expect anyone to - people deserve competent treatment as a minimum, particularly in that type of environment.

My MIL will be looking after LO when i go back which I'm really pleased about as she's SO good with him and he LOVES her and sees her all the time now so I'm hoping the transition won't be too painful for him. He takes a bottle well (I'm kind of combi-feeding now tbh) and she'll be coming to our house (and staying overnight sometimes) so he'll be in familiar surroundings, although I don't doubt that it'll still cause things to be unsettled for a while, and I'm happy to deal with frequent wakings at that point if I can be more confident of it being a 'phase' than I am now.

I know what you're saying about our LOs being unpredictable, and I'm sure that it wouldn't be plain sailing even if we did manage to improve his sleep now, but a bit of me just needs to know that he could do it as I think I'll feel less stressed about the whole thing if I knew it were possible for him to sleep better (more consistently at least).

I feel a bit like i'm stuck between a rock and a hard place with it all. I fully understand why people don't want to sleep train and if I could figure out a way to avoid it and function as a human being then I would, but I'm all out of ideas

don't know why I thought you'd be in the medical profession! I'd imagined you'd be a surgeon actually are you back full time?
you are soooo lucky your MIL will be looking after LO in your house! I'm sure he'll be fine, and it's true the transition won't be that bad.

 

[ellebelle]

Good luck Boo. In a contest of wills, Dominic so far always wins over me lol.

Ellebelle I think that we made Dominic worse too cause we always gave in and rocked him to sleep rather than try and put him down awake cause he would cry. But it is so hard when it takes sooo long for him to fall asleep anyway! I mean, tonight their bedtime was at 7:30 and till 9 he was crying every 20 minutes. I am not sure he won't cry again any minute now but sometimes he does fall asleep more deeply till 10 or 11. But I never dare hope.
What bedtime routine did your cousin use? I have been recommended bath, bottle, bed? But we don't bathe our boys every night cause Seb hates bath time and has very dry skin anyway. So twice a week is as much as they get. I do realise that might change when they start crawling etc and get really dirty but hopefully by then Seb will enjoy it more.
What sleep training are you thinking of? I would like to do something too but anything that involves even a little crying won't work cause I don't want Sebastian to suffer/wake. I couldn't really separate them at night cause I lack the space, plus I am a lil worried about the neighbours

It's frustrating because mine used to be capable of going into bed awake and going to sleep on their own with just a little bit of crying.
Gemmamuk has got me convinced to try some cc - though I don't even know how I should go about it.

My cousin nurses her boy and started putting him in bed awake, if he cries too hard, she nurses a bit and tries again. He learned that she would comfort him a bit then put him right back in bed so eventually he got the point and just started going to bed on his own without much protest.

I have been doing a bit of putting them in bed and doing checks but lately it hasn't been working AT ALL.
I don't know if I just need to do more checks, less checks, really stick with it? I don't know. They end up crying really, really hard some nights and then I give in and boob them to sleep

 

[flippityflop]

Gemma that's fantastic. I'm so pleased its working for you. The first few nights our LO did 8 hrs stretches and then he just stopped his brief 3/4am waking and now sleeps 11-12 hrs.

 

[Lulu1982]

After her firs ever sttn she was up at 1am on Sunday night. OH had her for the night and fed her ... Not sure if this was a good thing or not but it's too late to worry about now. Sunday was also the night she was asleep within seconds of being out in her cot!

Last night she took about 45 minutes to settle but had tummy ache I think s ingot her p and winded her and she went quietly at 8pm. She woke at 6.30am!!

I'm still in complete disbelief. She chatted for a minute or so this morning and by the time I was dressed had gone back to sleep. CC has been our saving grace, although I don't want to speak too soon. She has now sttn twice in her life ... Clever baby!!x

 

[Gemmamuk]

Well I did slightly jinx myself...
Alex had the longest stretch EVER - 8 until 4.45 - 8 hrs 45 mins!!!!!!
But - I was in such a deep sleep I didn't hear him straight away so by the time I realised what the noise was he was wide awake and wouldn't go back to sleep until 6 and that waincurred in to me! he's still asleep now but I've had to get up to get ready as we are off to chessington today!

I'm just finding it so hard to sleep myself now that he is sleeping, as I'm kind of used to not sleeping if that makes sense? We had a long tiring day out with family at an airshow. I was shattered and went to bed at 10, but was still wide awake at 1.45 (and starving!) so it was gone 2 by the time I got to sleep, then I was awake 4.45-6, and up at 730, so ive had about 4 hours - and feel like a zombie - even though it's more sleep than I was getting even a week ago! Grrr

Let's hope he doesn't wake up wanting to play for an hour tonight!!

Going to stay with my dad in Wales on wed for 4 nights, for one of my best friends wedding Friday and I'm kind of dreading it incase it gets him out of his routine

 

[AngelUK]

Our night was once again crap.
After Dom woke every 20 to 30mins from 7 till 9:30 OH and I decided to go to bed at 10. It was my night and I didn't have much hope after such a bad start but Dom only woke at 12:30 for his bottle so I had about 2 and a half hours (minus the time it took me to actually fall asleep). After that he woke every hour. At 6 he was wet through so I had to change him completely but he actually went back to sleep without too much of a fuss. But that is the only good thing I can report.
I guess my boys are too young for CC anyway but I don't believe I would have the will and patience to let Dom cry for any amount of time. He goes completely mental if I don't pick him up in the first minute or so and he has a very loud voice. But reading all your success stories I am tempted if he doesn't improve by 6 months.

 

[Lulu1982]

Gemma, I am the same and if I do manage to fall asleep I'm then up checking that the monitor is working because I haven't heard her ... Then I see that it is working so have to go into her room to check she breathing!

Angel, sorry you had another bad night. 5 months of no sleep Lmost tore me apart so it must be twice as bad having two little monkeys waking up all night for you. I was always very sure wouldnt try CC but the first night I tried it and went to check her after the first couple of minutes there wasn't a tear in sight ... She was just yelling her head off and gargling I've she was about to stop breathing ... It really was an Oscar worthy performance! In the last 5 nights she's had 2 where she was actually crying ...tears, snot and sweat. I can't say it was okay because I sat on the landing and probably cried as much as she did but I know it wasn't her teeth that day or anything else physical. I got her and changed her pyjamas after a while and eventually she dropped off. That was our worst night and fingers tossed we seem to be over the worst.

I think you're doing a fantastic job to even be able to string a sentence together!xx

 

[flippityflop]

Well I did slightly jinx myself...
Alex had the longest stretch EVER - 8 until 4.45 - 8 hrs 45 mins!!!!!!
But - I was in such a deep sleep I didn't hear him straight away so by the time I realised what the noise was he was wide awake and wouldn't go back to sleep until 6 and that waincurred in to me! he's still asleep now but I've had to get up to get ready as we are off to chessington today!

I'm just finding it so hard to sleep myself now that he is sleeping, as I'm kind of used to not sleeping if that makes sense? We had a long tiring day out with family at an airshow. I was shattered and went to bed at 10, but was still wide awake at 1.45 (and starving!) so it was gone 2 by the time I got to sleep, then I was awake 4.45-6, and up at 730, so ive had about 4 hours - and feel like a zombie - even though it's more sleep than I was getting even a week ago! Grrr

Let's hope he doesn't wake up wanting to play for an hour tonight!!

Going to stay with my dad in Wales on wed for 4 nights, for one of my best friends wedding Friday and I'm kind of dreading it incase it gets him out of his routine

I had that problem with sleep after I did CC but after a week or so I started sleeping better too. Good luck in Wales. Just try and stick to your routine as much as you can. x

 

[lisa1980]

Kosh - I'm a doctor and I'll be working long shifts (plus nights etc) in a busy Emergency Dept. It's pretty stressful and I never get to sit down (or eat half the time!), plus I need to be on the ball as there's no mercy for those who screw up because of the potential to really harm someone or worse I'm nervous already as I feel like my knowledge and skills are a little rusty from being on mat leave for so long as well as being so sleep deprived. It's just SO busy and you're expected to make good decisions in split-seconds, as well as having to perform minor procedures (the thought of doing this feeling how I feel today is terrifying!)

I do understand your friend's perspective a little as if I worked from home I probably would just 'deal with it' (although I'm not saying it would be in any way easy) but I just can't justify working in my current state (most days...past few days were a wonderful exception ). I absolutely would NOT want to be treated (or even worse, my LO to be treated) in an emergency by a doctor as tired and frazzled as I am, and I wouldn't expect anyone to - people deserve competent treatment as a minimum, particularly in that type of environment.

My MIL will be looking after LO when i go back which I'm really pleased about as she's SO good with him and he LOVES her and sees her all the time now so I'm hoping the transition won't be too painful for him. He takes a bottle well (I'm kind of combi-feeding now tbh) and she'll be coming to our house (and staying overnight sometimes) so he'll be in familiar surroundings, although I don't doubt that it'll still cause things to be unsettled for a while, and I'm happy to deal with frequent wakings at that point if I can be more confident of it being a 'phase' than I am now.

I know what you're saying about our LOs being unpredictable, and I'm sure that it wouldn't be plain sailing even if we did manage to improve his sleep now, but a bit of me just needs to know that he could do it as I think I'll feel less stressed about the whole thing if I knew it were possible for him to sleep better (more consistently at least).

I feel a bit like i'm stuck between a rock and a hard place with it all. I fully understand why people don't want to sleep train and if I could figure out a way to avoid it and function as a human being then I would, but I'm all out of ideas

don't know why I thought you'd be in the medical profession! I'd imagined you'd be a surgeon actually are you back full time?
you are soooo lucky your MIL will be looking after LO in your house! I'm sure he'll be fine, and it's true the transition won't be that bad.

Nah surgery was not for me - I prefer to chat to my patients whilst they're conscious ;-) I'm hoping to go back part-time but still waiting for approval and thrashing out possibilities atm...I'm not sure whether they'll go for it or not tbh.


Our night was horrendous. Took 2 hours to get him to sleep. He screamed and screamed with OH holding him, then me holding him, rocking, singing etc etc. He had calpol for his teeth as I thought it might be that but made no difference. Didn't seem to be discomfort really, just that he was SO tired but couldn't work out how to drop off regardless of what we did. He didn't want to BF so couldn't try that trick. He just kept getting really sleepy but would then jolt himself awake and cry as he wanted to be asleep. I don't know whether all our well-intentioned interference was actually making things worse

Finally dropped off at 11pm, then up hourly until 3am when he stayed up until 5.30am doing the same crying trying to nod off, then up for the day at 7am

He only fed at 3am despite offering lots which is maybe a positive but it feels a bit hollow this morning tbh.

OH is now saying he thinks the good nights were blips rather than the other way round...I'm undecided as yet.

Gemma, Lulu (and of course flippity) - I'm glad CC is working so well for you. I'm heading in that direction I feel, if i can pluck up the courage.

Angel - sorry for your bad night

How were everyone else's nights?

 

[Lulu1982]

Lisa, I found once Aba got to about 5 1/2 months, that she didn't want to be led and rocked anymore. Don't get me wrong she had no idea how to settle herself once I'd put her down but holding her all of a sudden made her even angrier which is why we tried the face stroking/arm tickling/leg rubbing/tummy rubbing/doing whatever the hell we could to get her to be quiet for a second!

I actually miss the nights sat in the rocking chair putting her to sleep now ... Never happy!x

 

[firefly15]

A mixed night to report here. I curse the common cold for making my LO poorly! Bedtime was difficult as he was so bunged up and miserable so no chance of self settling last night unfortunately. DH managed to get him to go to sleep in the end but he was really restless and constantly waking until 9pm when we got the calpol out again and dosed him up. He managed to have a feed and go back to sleep til 1.15am, which was excellent as I was fully prepared for wake ups every hour or so, then he fed and went back down til 4am. Had to feed again at 4 as he wouldn't settle without it and then he slept til 6.45 and then dozed for another hour after that.

So other than a tricky start to the night I think he did really well considering how snotty and horrible he was feeling. A few weeks ago a cold would have had him up all night long, so not sure whether it's because maybe we have a genuine change in his sleep habits or because the calpol was just really effective this time?!

Gemma & Lulu - yay for good nights! Fantastic progress, fingers crossed it continues and then I'm sure you'll get used to sleeping more too!

Angel - just for another crap night.

Lisa - just seen your update too so for you as well, sorry to hear you had such a rubbish night.

 

[Hanskiz]

to everyone. I'm glad some are making progress.... Big to those who had rough nights.

I just wanted to give a word of encouragement to those of you who are sleep training.... Last night LO slept through from 7pm to 5.45am! Not PERFECT, but my goodness it's an improvement from a week ago when she was waking 3 or 4 times a night! Sunday night she did well too - 8pm to 6.15 with a couple of grumbles and some fussiness around 1 and 4 but no intervention required from us. Hoping we've turned a corner.

To those of you who are still sleepless - you are AMAZING, I cannot tell you how much I admire your resilience.

 

[MrsHedgehog]

for the bad nights ladies but gemma and lulu on the big improvements.

I actually kind of tried a bit of CC yesterday. LO was refusing to nap and kept trying to nurse but when I took her to the bedroom to nurse she'd refuse and try to crawl off on the bed. She was being a real monkey so I put her in her cot and left her grumbling for 5 mins. She wasn't crying, just complaining. I went in after 5mins when she was starting to get a bit more upset. I settled her but when I left the room she started properly crying as if the world was coming to and end so I went in and nursed her and she went straight off to sleep. There's no way I could have continued with the CC. It's just too painful for me seeing her cry like that.

Anyway, hopefully we won't need to as we're still continuing to have pretty good nights. Last night she woke up quite a few times but settled really easily and I barely woke so feel like I had a decent sleep. Our only problem now is that she's going to bed after midnight and sleeping until midday. In some ways it's nice because we can go out in the evenings and not have to get home early for LOs bedtime. On the other hand it totally messes up our day, she has breakfast at lunch time, lunch in the middle of the afternoon and dinner around 9pm! It just doesn't feel right. Any ideas how I can get her to bed earlier? I've tried waking her earlier in the mornings but she still wants to stay up until midnight but will just be ridiculously overtired.

Lisa - Sorry you're feeling so stressed about going back to work. I'm a teacher so not quite as stressful a job as you and I'm only going back part time. Even still I worry how I'll cope working with so little sleep. Even with decent sleep I'm so distracted since having LO that I find it hard to concentrate on anything else. Anyone else feel like this? I'm hoping that it will get better once I'm actually at work, maybe I'll be able to swithc my 'mummy brain' off for a few hours. My MIL will be taking care of LO and I've no idea how she'll manage to get LO to nap. I've never left her with anyone for more than an hour or so and so no one else has ever had to put her to sleep. I'm kind of hoping that they'll just work it out for themselves. You never know, your LOs sleep might actually improve when you go back to work if he has to get used to going to sleep with someone else. What sleep training methods are you considering?

 

[kbkb]

hi! I feel so reassured when I see posts like this! I was totally thinking I am alone in this, when I hear of all these babies sleeping 10pm -6am!

to your questions-
1) did you have any stress/complications during your pregnancy/birth? None, natural birth, vaccuum assisted

2) are you FF or BF? Breastfeeding.

3) tiredness aside - do you feel overwhelmed, worried, anxious, etc? do you feel you have enough support or you're doing most of the looking after LO on your own?
OH wakes up at night to fetch LO to me but I have to still do the feeding! sometimes both LO and I fall asleep in the sitting position ( he wont nurse lying down). He was a good sleeper until 4-4.5 months, and then suddenly he started waking up 3-4 times at night. Usually in bed by 10 pm, then wakes up at 1 am and after that pretty much every 2 hours...

I am SOOOOO tired. NOTHING will make me give my baby formula to sleep (i;m told it makes things better). Solids did nothing to make the sleep better. He sleeps well ( 1 one hour nap in the am, and 2 hours in the afternoon), but nights are just exhausting.....he settles pretty quickly after nursing but its still exhausting because he wont nurse lying down (loses the latch)

does anyone have any ideas??? how do you make this better?CIO is sooo not for me.