is/was your LO a really bad sleeper? support and advise thread!

[chocolala]

It took 4 hours in total to settle lily last night, not good and not fun. I was in a foul mood, which probably didn't help, but it shouldn't take that long to settle a baby. I was in such a bad mood I could of easily just left her to cry, only thing that stopped me was, I knew it would do neither of us any good. I feel guilt for feeling like that, but it's so frustrating, I mean 4 hours to go to sleep properly, I just don't get it, she was exhausted!

While trying to get her to sleep I tried putting her in her cot, to see if she'd settle her self, between giggling and kicking she did kind of try, but stopped her self each time by rubbing her eyes or trying to roll away.

Does any one else find that their baby, to get to sleep sometimes has to get worked up and angry? Lily fairly frequently will only go to sleep after she's got angry at me for trying to rock her to sleep and has a cry. She's in my arms the whole time, I don't leave her, but sometimes this seems to be the only way to make her go to sleep, I'll then nurse her and 9 times out of 10 she'll go to sleep. I don't know if it's like a tension release or because she's totally knackered her self and just gives in.

Another thing she has started doing while I'm trying to get her to sleep for both naps and bedtime is she'll nurse from one side, but not drain it, then demand the other side, then back to the first side. She'll do this until I get fed up and start rocking her. So annoying, she'll do anything to stay awake, she's even been growling at my boob while doing pelvic thrusts!

I swear if I didn't actively get lily to sleep, she would stay awake for days!

 

[lisa1980]

Mrs Hedgehog - I'm also hoping my brain will kick in once I'm back at work...it'll be a bit of a disaster if it doesn't.

TBH I'm considering CC. I've tried various gentle methods (mainly shush/pat, pu/pd and Celesse's method on another thread of settling them in the cot come hell or high water) but they've all helped a little but the improvement hasn't beem maintained and they were taking me HOURS at bedtime and in the night with LO screaming all the time anyway.

I was always adamant I wouldn't do CC (or any sleep training for that matter) but never expected to be in this situation and I know that LO needs more sleep than he's getting, as we all do. I'm also truly terrified of being this tired at work and killing someone. I'm not sure how I'll do though...I need to be really committed (OH is) because the worst thing would be to start and then bail.

Congrats on your better nights

Chocolala - as per above, my LO seems to scream at bedtime regardless of what we do. He screams the same whether you hold him or not and it takes at least 2 hours to get him to sleep. I'm now convinced it's because he's so tired and wants to sleep but doesn't know how and our interventions are just stimulating him more in some ways. He always seems to need to cry before sleep at night so maybe you're right and it's a tension release thing or something. It's definitely not about a lack of comfort as we're always right there with him and it makes no difference.

 

[MrsHedgehog]

It took 4 hours in total to settle lily last night, not good and not fun. I was in a foul mood, which probably didn't help, but it shouldn't take that long to settle a baby. I was in such a bad mood I could of easily just left her to cry, only thing that stopped me was, I knew it would do neither of us any good. I feel guilt for feeling like that, but it's so frustrating, I mean 4 hours to go to sleep properly, I just don't get it, she was exhausted!

While trying to get her to sleep I tried putting her in her cot, to see if she'd settle her self, between giggling and kicking she did kind of try, but stopped her self each time by rubbing her eyes or trying to roll away.

Does any one else find that their baby, to get to sleep sometimes has to get worked up and angry? Lily fairly frequently will only go to sleep after she's got angry at me for trying to rock her to sleep and has a cry. She's in my arms the whole time, I don't leave her, but sometimes this seems to be the only way to make her go to sleep, I'll then nurse her and 9 times out of 10 she'll go to sleep. I don't know if it's like a tension release or because she's totally knackered her self and just gives in.

Another thing she has started doing while I'm trying to get her to sleep for both naps and bedtime is she'll nurse from one side, but not drain it, then demand the other side, then back to the first side. She'll do this until I get fed up and start rocking her. So annoying, she'll do anything to stay awake, she's even been growling at my boob while doing pelvic thrusts!

I swear if I didn't actively get lily to sleep, she would stay awake for days!

My LO is usually fairly easy to get to sleep by nursing but on the few occasions that she's fought sleep because she's overtired it does always seem like the only thing that will eventually make her sleep is crying. Usually I pass her to DH once I've had enough and she'll start to really scream. After a few minutes I'ì'll take her back, nurse her and she'll just drop off. I think it's a way of releasing tension.

 

[AngelUK]

NOTHING will make me give my baby formula to sleep (i;m told it makes things better).

My twins are ff and have been since the start (though I combo fed for about 8 weeks); one sleeps like an angel and the other doesn't. So I think who ever told you ff would make your baby sleep, was talking total nonsense. I think it is a matter of character first and foremost. And the rest is probably involuntary sleep training, ie bad sleep associations etc.

 

[kosh]

It took 4 hours in total to settle lily last night, not good and not fun. I was in a foul mood, which probably didn't help, but it shouldn't take that long to settle a baby. I was in such a bad mood I could of easily just left her to cry, only thing that stopped me was, I knew it would do neither of us any good. I feel guilt for feeling like that, but it's so frustrating, I mean 4 hours to go to sleep properly, I just don't get it, she was exhausted!

While trying to get her to sleep I tried putting her in her cot, to see if she'd settle her self, between giggling and kicking she did kind of try, but stopped her self each time by rubbing her eyes or trying to roll away.

Does any one else find that their baby, to get to sleep sometimes has to get worked up and angry? Lily fairly frequently will only go to sleep after she's got angry at me for trying to rock her to sleep and has a cry. She's in my arms the whole time, I don't leave her, but sometimes this seems to be the only way to make her go to sleep, I'll then nurse her and 9 times out of 10 she'll go to sleep. I don't know if it's like a tension release or because she's totally knackered her self and just gives in.

Another thing she has started doing while I'm trying to get her to sleep for both naps and bedtime is she'll nurse from one side, but not drain it, then demand the other side, then back to the first side. She'll do this until I get fed up and start rocking her. So annoying, she'll do anything to stay awake, she's even been growling at my boob while doing pelvic thrusts!

I swear if I didn't actively get lily to sleep, she would stay awake for days!

My LO is usually fairly easy to get to sleep by nursing but on the few occasions that she's fought sleep because she's overtired it does always seem like the only thing that will eventually make her sleep is crying. Usually I pass her to DH once I've had enough and she'll start to really scream. After a few minutes I'ì'll take her back, nurse her and she'll just drop off. I think it's a way of releasing tension.

I think so too. I usually just lay him down in bed next to me and let him moan/scream for a min and after that he'll drop off really easily.

 

[kosh]

hi all
sorry I've been a bit MIA - we're in teething hell here

to those who had any type of progress

to those who had bad nights
hope tonight is a bit better for all of us




lisa - i totally understand your situation. you know what's best

 

[Gemmamuk]

hi all
sorry I've been a bit MIA - we're in teething hell here

to those who had any type of progress

to those who had bad nights
hope tonight is a bit better for all of us




lisa - i totally understand your situation. you know what's best

Ditto!!
Good start to the evening for me....dinner, bath, breastfeed then be he was practically asleep before he reached the cot mattress! Although he wanted to bf rather than have a bottle so I'm wondering if he will wake up earlier as its digested faster, but we'll see!

Off to bed myself Now to try and catch up on sleep and ignore my housework and pretend my house doesn't look like a bombs gone off


Good luck ladies!

 

[Lulu1982]

We had an epic tantrum at nap time this afternoon. An hour and a half to settle and she was exhausted ... She napped 20 minutes ... Urgh!

Bedtime was more successful. Normal routine and into cot and she was asleep in less than 5 minutes! no crying just a couple minutes of practising her screaming (sounds a bit like a demented baby eagle), a little moan and off ... I'm in bed now ... Will see what the might brings!

Good luck all. Stay strong!xx

 

[lisa1980]

hi all
sorry I've been a bit MIA - we're in teething hell here

to those who had any type of progress

to those who had bad nights
hope tonight is a bit better for all of us




lisa - i totally understand your situation. you know what's best

Thank you Kosh

I really can't overstate how helpful this thread is to me. The unquestioning support and empathy from all the ladies on here is just so valuable to me and makes me feel like I'm not alone. It gives me a place to vent or debate things outside of my own head with people who understand.

I'm also so proud to be part of a thread where oft-controversial topics like sleep training can be discussed freely and honestly, but where everyone respects the opposing view and offers only support and advice when needed.

It's just lovely and it perks me up when things seem cr@ppy.

That is all (group hug )

ps Fingers and toes crossed that we all have a good night

 

[flippityflop]

Hope you're ok Kosh - also in teething hell here but absolutely no sign of any teeth!

 

[AngelUK]

I too love this thread and reading up on your successes or bad nights makes me feel less alone, sometimes hopeful but always really understood. And I too love how non judgemental this thread is. Loads of to you all, you lovely ladies, thank you for making it all more bearable

 

[flippityflop]

hi all
sorry I've been a bit MIA - we're in teething hell here

to those who had any type of progress

to those who had bad nights
hope tonight is a bit better for all of us




lisa - i totally understand your situation. you know what's best

Thank you Kosh

I really can't overstate how helpful this thread is to me. The unquestioning support and empathy from all the ladies on here is just so valuable to me and makes me feel like I'm not alone. It gives me a place to vent or debate things outside of my own head with people who understand.

I'm also so proud to be part of a thread where oft-controversial topics like sleep training can be discussed freely and honestly, but where everyone respects the opposing view and offers only support and advice when needed.

It's just lovely and it perks me up when things seem cr@ppy.

That is all (group hug )

ps Fingers and toes crossed that we all have a good night

Here here!

 

[Gemmamuk]

Funny story to cheer you ladies up...
Took Alex & my niece to chessington world of adventures today.
In the zoo bit we were looking at zebra and scarlet said "omg auntie Gemma...look at that one doing a massive long poo...it's hanging down". Well - everyone around us sniggered and I looked where she pointed. *you know the phrase hung like a horse? Yep - it was his willy!!! Massive!

She walked off and came back and it's willy had gone back to normal and she asked me where on the floor the poo had dropped - more hysterics from the adults around us! Ha ha!!!

She also asked me where I bought Alex from as she doesn't remember me growing him in my belly like other women and assumed I bought him from a shop?!? Lol! I said remember when you called me fat - yeah that was Alex! Lol she then asked me how he got out.....so I changed the subject and bought her doughnuts - her mum can deal with that one

 

[kosh]

Funny story to cheer you ladies up...
Took Alex & my niece to chessington world of adventures today.
In the zoo bit we were looking at zebra and scarlet said "omg auntie Gemma...look at that one doing a massive long poo...it's hanging down". Well - everyone around us sniggered and I looked where she pointed. *you know the phrase hung like a horse? Yep - it was his willy!!! Massive!

She walked off and came back and it's willy had gone back to normal and she asked me where on the floor the poo had dropped - more hysterics from the adults around us! Ha ha!!!

She also asked me where I bought Alex from as she doesn't remember me growing him in my belly like other women and assumed I bought him from a shop?!? Lol! I said remember when you called me fat - yeah that was Alex! Lol she then asked me how he got out.....so I changed the subject and bought her doughnuts - her mum can deal with that one

 

[AngelUK]

Lol she then asked me how he got out.....so I changed the subject and bought her doughnuts - her mum can deal with that one

cop out I would totally do the same thing lol. Am off to bed with a grin on my face. Thanks

 

[kosh]

just saw your signature angel - are the twins 5 months today?

 

[chocolala]

Funny story to cheer you ladies up...
Took Alex & my niece to chessington world of adventures today.
In the zoo bit we were looking at zebra and scarlet said "omg auntie Gemma...look at that one doing a massive long poo...it's hanging down". Well - everyone around us sniggered and I looked where she pointed. *you know the phrase hung like a horse? Yep - it was his willy!!! Massive!

She walked off and came back and it's willy had gone back to normal and she asked me where on the floor the poo had dropped - more hysterics from the adults around us! Ha ha!!!

She also asked me where I bought Alex from as she doesn't remember me growing him in my belly like other women and assumed I bought him from a shop?!? Lol! I said remember when you called me fat - yeah that was Alex! Lol she then asked me how he got out.....so I changed the subject and bought her doughnuts - her mum can deal with that one

*sniggers*

 

[chocolala]

Every 20-30 mins she's been waking tonight and the dog has the squits, so she keeps getting us up as well, I fear I'm in for a loooong night

 

[nicb26]

I never seem to have time to contribute here, but I am stalking it! Despite previously being against it, I am now trying cc. Man, its hard! I keep going in and I know she's ok, but she's screaming blue murder I know the majority on this board will disagree, but i keep telling myself I'm being kind in the long run, we simply can't go on with her expecting to comfort nurse every two hours. Hopefully it will be successful. It's just rubbish because she always goes down okay, but its the small hours she wants to get up all the time, so I end up ahaving to do this at sleepy o clock! Would be so much easier in the evening.

Hugs to all you ladies. Hopefully non-sleeping babies = good sleeping toddlers... Haha I can dream, right?! xxxx

 

[ellebelle]

I never seem to have time to contribute here, but I am stalking it! Despite previously being against it, I am now trying cc. Man, its hard! I keep going in and I know she's ok, but she's screaming blue murder I know the majority on this board will disagree, but i keep telling myself I'm being kind in the long run, we simply can't go on with her expecting to comfort nurse every two hours. Hopefully it will be successful. It's just rubbish because she always goes down okay, but its the small hours she wants to get up all the time, so I end up ahaving to do this at sleepy o clock! Would be so much easier in the evening.

Hugs to all you ladies. Hopefully non-sleeping babies = good sleeping toddlers... Haha I can dream, right?! xxxx

When did you start cc? I decided to start lastnight. It took a lot of check ins and an hour but both girls went to sleep on their own. Tonight it took less than half the time!
Now my problem is having to rush to them in the night in fear that one crying will startle the other awake... so I will probably continue to nurse in the night... I just don't want to do sleep training and screw it up by nursing in the night.
Good luck to you!