is/was your LO a really bad sleeper? support and advise thread!

[aliss]

William was a bad sleeper, I didnt sleep train him. We co slept, fed him on demand and it passed. He sleeps well now. Alex was a good sleeper still is. I did nothing but let them gain independent sleep on their own. This to shall pass and I am glad the OP wont do cio or cc.

I will tell myself the same thing again. It was a hard road but 2 years later, I have no regrets. The only difference is that I wish we had bedshared from the start with #1, really, it would have just made the transition easier. Fortunately #2 already has his little side of the bed carved out!

 

[chocolala]

Re the question about parents sleep as babies.

Apparently I was always able to put myself to sleep and slept well until 6 months old, then I started waking and wanting to play at 4am, my mum being useless and a martyr never tried to get me back to sleep for naps I'd only sleep for 30 mins.

I don't know about the husband, I think he was an ok sleeper.

Lily's sleep patterns are definitely changing at the moment. She's trying to put her self to sleep on occasion and she's only waking about 4 times. She's still really fighting though, getting really upset and kicking and pushing at any attempt to calm her and get her off to sleep. It's so frustrating. She's also starting to refuse boob when getting her to sleep, so I'm left with rocking, which makes her angry!

 

[Claireyb1]

Hi Kosh, It is sooo tough I know as I have been there with the waking every hour or so too. Strangely though she seems to be a lot better at the moment and I actually get to eat my dinner without it going cold
I hope to god it stays this way and we can improve upon it!

1) did you have any stress/complications during your pregnancy/birth? (I remember flippity, you were induced a day before me!) and it was


I had a very easy pregnancy, but I was induced at 42 weeks.Very quick labour indeed,but had to have an episiotomy and ventouse delivery as her heart rate was dropping to dangerous levels...only gas and air though,no drugs.Lo had a mild shoulder dystocia.


2) are you FF or BF? I have the impression this problem is more common in BF babies


BF'ing still and I think this has an impact for sure!


3) tiredness aside - do you feel overwhelmed, worried, anxious, etc? do you feel you have enough support or you're doing most of the looking after LO on your own?


I am lucky that I can hand lo over to my DF in the morning and he takes her and gives her b'fast etc,so I get an extra hour or so in bed although I do pretty mch the rest of her care 7 days a week.I feel overwhelmed etc when lo won't nap.....still obsessed with lo's naps! obsessed with her sleep in general.

I was like it as a baby according to my Mum and she is a great ear to bend as she knows what I am going through......doesn't have any advice but lots of tea and sympathy

Just repeat after me....."IT WILL GET BETTER, IT WILL GET BETTER!" Surely? LOL

Hugs to you Kosh.

 

[MrsHedgehog]

Apparently I was a great sleeper. According to my mum I was pretty much STTN before we even left the hospital. I imagine I was left to CIO though in the hospital nursery as my mum said that I was brought to her just to feed and then wheeled away again. It was done so differently in those days. Once we were home my mum said I just ate and slept and didn't do much else for the first few months. I was BF but on a schedule and weaned at 4months. My mum says that she followed a strict routine and left us to cry if we weren't hysterical so that's probably why I slept so well. I couldn't do that with my LO though even if it meant she slept better.

 

[lisa1980]

We had a good night!

We went out for dinner to a friends and took LO with us. We got home around midnight. LO went straight off to sleep and woke only 3 maybe 4 times before waking for the day at 10am. It seems like a late bed time may be the key for us. Everyone says that an earlier bedtime makes babies sleep better but it has never worked for my LO. It's really hot here at the moment so we're stuck inside most of the day and the only time we can get out is in the evenings when it is cooler. Yesterday was a great day. LO woke at 10am after a bad nights sleep. She had a long nap from 12.30 until 3pm then another nap from 6 until 7pm. We went out to my friends, had dinner outside and spent all evening outside playing when it was nice and cool. Got home at midnight and LO went straight to sleep and slept so well. She woke at 10am this morning and is really well rested. I think we'll stick with this for a few days and see if it continues to work or if it was just a fluke.

Yay for a better night!

Maybe your LO is a bit of a night-owl and a later bedtime suits her then...let's hope that the key to better sleep for you all.

Our night was not so good but I think the heat had something to do with it. He's napped well so far today though so I'm keeping my fingers crossed for tonight (like I do every day )

 

[AngelUK]

I shouldn't come on this thread! When I read that 8 months olds sleep badly still it dashes all my hope for the next months. I don't know how you ladies with working DHs cope, I find it hard even now when I alternate nights with OH. When he goes back to work they had better be sleeping better or I'll put them on ebay with no reserve!


(I hope everyone realises that that was a joke and that I wouldn't give up my babies for all the money in the world!)

 

[lisa1980]

I shouldn't come on this thread! When I read that 8 months olds sleep badly still it dashes all my hope for the next months. I don't know how you ladies with working DHs cope, I find it hard even now when I alternate nights with OH. When he goes back to work they had better be sleeping better or I'll put them on ebay with no reserve!


(I hope everyone realises that that was a joke and that I wouldn't give up my babies for all the money in the world!)

Hopefully your LOs will be wonderful sleepers by the time the get to that age.

I don't really cope sometimes if I'm honest, but it has definitely got easier on a day-to-day basis for me as I seem to be used to the poor sleep now. I'm lucky that LO at least naps well now so I always have to possibility of a nap if the night was really bad...not going to be so useful when I go back to work though.

I've always done all the night feeds from day one so it wasn't really much of a change when DH went back to work, although it is nice when he's around to amuse LO in the day on the weekends as it means I can have a bit of time to myself.

What's hilarious is that I used to be a person who moaned about exhaustion if I got less than 8 hours sleep a night. Pfffft! Karma's a b*tch

 

[AngelUK]

What's hilarious is that I used to be a person who moaned about exhaustion if I got less than 8 hours sleep a night. Pfffft! Karma's a b*tch

How very true! I was the same

 

[kosh]

What's hilarious is that I used to be a person who moaned about exhaustion if I got less than 8 hours sleep a night. Pfffft! Karma's a b*tch

How very true! I was the same

funnily enough, I was the same too!! if I had 7hr *I couldn't cope*!

 

[kosh]

just managed to put LO to his second nap. we had a terrible night last night, his cold was worse and there was no way I could lay him down, he had to stay in my arms, but I couldn't sleep either as I was worried I'd drop him! so we spent 2hrs like this until he finally gave up and went to sleep on our bed.

angel - I'd buy Dominic of you, so he and Gael can entertain each other all night!

MrsHedgehog - so glad you had a better night! but did she stay awake until midnight?

oops - LO's woken up!

 

[MrsHedgehog]

just managed to put LO to his second nap. we had a terrible night last night, his cold was worse and there was no way I could lay him down, he had to stay in my arms, but I couldn't sleep either as I was worried I'd drop him! so we spent 2hrs like this until he finally gave up and went to sleep on our bed.

angel - I'd buy Dominic of you, so he and Gael can entertain each other all night!

MrsHedgehog - so glad you had a better night! but did she stay awake until midnight?

oops - LO's woken up!

She had a late nap until around 7pm and then was awake until midnight. She was starting to get a bit grumpy by then but went to sleep really easily. She woke at 10 this morning, had a long nap between 12:30 and 3pm. Then MIL messed up her next nap by not leaving when I said LO was tired and needed a nap (Grrr) so she didn't go down for another nap until 6:30pm and is still asleep now (it's 7:30pm) Who knows when she will go to bed tonight. I blame part of LOs sleeping problems on my in-laws as they are always coming round and not letting LO nap, she gets all excited and is difficult to get to sleep after she's seen them. It meant we didn't get into a good sleeping routine in the beginning and I was never left alone just to work things out. It's been quite disruptive and I'm too much of a wimp to stand up to them about anything.

 

[yumosh]

Apparently I was a great sleeper. According to my mum I was pretty much STTN before we even left the hospital. I imagine I was left to CIO though in the hospital nursery as my mum said that I was brought to her just to feed and then wheeled away again. It was done so differently in those days. Once we were home my mum said I just ate and slept and didn't do much else for the first few months. I was BF but on a schedule and weaned at 4months. My mum says that she followed a strict routine and left us to cry if we weren't hysterical so that's probably why I slept so well. I couldn't do that with my LO though even if it meant she slept better.

I think u might be onto something here! Do you think we are over stimulating our babies compared to 30 years ago, say?
We are so pressured to read, sing, sign language etc with babies that perhaps they are just exhausted & overtired?? My mum says I StTN & hubby too.

Is this a modern problem? Should we interact less with LOs?

Really interesting.. Something to think about at 2am! Lol

 

[MrsHedgehog]

Apparently I was a great sleeper. According to my mum I was pretty much STTN before we even left the hospital. I imagine I was left to CIO though in the hospital nursery as my mum said that I was brought to her just to feed and then wheeled away again. It was done so differently in those days. Once we were home my mum said I just ate and slept and didn't do much else for the first few months. I was BF but on a schedule and weaned at 4months. My mum says that she followed a strict routine and left us to cry if we weren't hysterical so that's probably why I slept so well. I couldn't do that with my LO though even if it meant she slept better.

I think u might be onto something here! Do you think we are over stimulating our babies compared to 30 years ago, say?
We are so pressured to read, sing, sign language etc with babies that perhaps they are just exhausted & overtired?? My mum says I StTN & hubby too.

Is this a modern problem? Should we interact less with LOs?

Really interesting.. Something to think about at 2am! Lol

You could be right. I hear a lot of people say though that babies are a lot more alert these days and it's probably because we don't leave them in their cribs so much. I've also read that babies that don't sleep well often turn out to be highly intelligent so maybe it's all linked somehow.

 

[yumosh]

Of course our babies are intelligent!!!! )))

 

[MrsHedgehog]

Of course our babies are intelligent!!!! )))

There has to be something good about this lack of sleeping!

My LO is pretty bright but I'm biased obviously!

 

[Lilly123]

Hi

Lily is nearly 9 months and wakes about 4-5 times a night - usually every 2-3 hours.

Hope to get some advice here as CIO does not work on her. she can cry for hours

xx

 

[chocolala]

Ladies, they're not just intelligent, they're gifted!


My nightly battle is just beginning.....

 

[AngelUK]

Yeah we are in the middle of the nightly battle too. He falls asleep but then wakes again 20 mins later. WHY????

 

[chocolala]

Lily does that too, she then gets really upset/angry and fights even harder.

 

[patch2006uk]

I was definitely one with a dreadful sleeper. Fed every 1.5-3 hours for the first 6 months, then slowly made it to every 4 hours, 6 hours, and now, finally, most nights he sleeps through or we just have one quick wake up.

I agree with aliss that acceptance is the easiest way to deal with it. We did eventually start holding off feeding him until 3 hours had passed since the last feed, although we only did that around 8/9 months. He's just had to grow out of it.

Sleep will come! We're still woken every day at 6am, but we get a solid 7/8 hours and Isaac gets 11 hours. I just have my fingers crossed this next one will be slightly easier to settle. I didn't mind the frequent wakings compared to the 3-5am wide awake sessions