is/was your LO a really bad sleeper? support and advise thread!

[kosh]

oh that sounds promising chocolala!!
and congrats lily for your first steps!!

 

[firefly15]

Go Lily! Also great news that last night she didn't fight sleep, it's really hard to know whether to put it down to the osteo sessions or not but I've come to the conclusion that they do make a difference as LO always seems more settled after one...I'll see if that holds true tomorrow!

To answer an earlier question about eating - LO is a fairly bad eater, some days he barely has more than a couple of mouthfuls of food, some days he eats loads. It never seems to make a difference to his sleep, infact one of the best weeks we had with him and eating was one of the worst for sleep!

Gemma - sorry your LO is also poorly, not fun for them I agree with Kosh about the milk, I always thought that bf would provide antibodies to help fight the bug so would be inclined to offer boob as much as ever!

I can report a slightly more successful night last night. No fight at bedtime, just straight to sleep and then only 3 wake ups in the night. Had to feed on all 3 wakeups but only the first one seemed to be a full feed, both the others were quite small so not convinced he really needed them. I just can't get him to go back to sleep without it, or at least not stay asleep for more than 20 minutes Maybe that does mean he's really hungry??

 

[Claireyb1]

Hi Ladies:wave: well I'm back and all in one piece too!
The trip to Poland went suprisingly well tbh. I was soooo worried about lo's naps and sleep etc,but she was all things considered really a very good girl!!
On the day of the wedding the church ceremony was at 4pm (3pm uk time, kept her to uk time for ease of transition etc) the service was approx an hour and she was as good as gold with no whinging or anything the reception got a bit more difficult as she was getting tired and it was very loud and too much going on. When it came time to change her and feed her before bed (still at venue) they had nowhere quiet and private for me to do it and she just wouldn't feed with everything going on around me. I got sooo stressed and it got to the point where I had ordered a taxi and was going to have to leave early with lo and miss most of the evening then my brother (whose wedding it was) came up with the idea that I walk round to his hotel room (2 min walk away) and feed her etc........perfect solution as she fed and went straight to sleep and then slept in her buggy at the venue until it was time to go home at approx 1am!!!!!!
put her in her car seat and she barely woke,got back to th ehouse and she went straight back off to sleep. I was so amazed. she even took all her naps in a travel cot too. we still mainly co slept throught the night.
All in all I am a very happy bunny and everyone commented on how good she was.
very proud mummy.

Hope everyone else is ok. and big congrats Lulu!!!

 

[kosh]

Hi Ladies:wave: well I'm back and all in one piece too!
The trip to Poland went suprisingly well tbh. I was soooo worried about lo's naps and sleep etc,but she was all things considered really a very good girl!!
On the day of the wedding the church ceremony was at 4pm (3pm uk time, kept her to uk time for ease of transition etc) the service was approx an hour and she was as good as gold with no whinging or anything the reception got a bit more difficult as she was getting tired and it was very loud and too much going on. When it came time to change her and feed her before bed (still at venue) they had nowhere quiet and private for me to do it and she just wouldn't feed with everything going on around me. I got sooo stressed and it got to the point where I had ordered a taxi and was going to have to leave early with lo and miss most of the evening then my brother (whose wedding it was) came up with the idea that I walk round to his hotel room (2 min walk away) and feed her etc........perfect solution as she fed and went straight to sleep and then slept in her buggy at the venue until it was time to go home at approx 1am!!!!!!
put her in her car seat and she barely woke,got back to th ehouse and she went straight back off to sleep. I was so amazed. she even took all her naps in a travel cot too. we still mainly co slept throught the night.
All in all I am a very happy bunny and everyone commented on how good she was.
very proud mummy.

Hope everyone else is ok. and big congrats Lulu!!!

awww I'm soooo happy it went well claire!!!
gives me hope, but i still don't know if we would have managed like you did

 

[chocolala]

Just told my mum how our bedtime and night went, she had the nerve to tell that Lily wakes out of habit! When I informed her otherwise her tone suggested I don't have a clue what I'm talking about, of course she's waking through habit.

She she doesnt seem to realise, or like the idea that I might just know my baby a whole lot better than she does! Stupid bloody woman

I actually don't think babies do wake out of habit, I believe there's always a reason for waking, even if it's just for a cuddle, but my mum wouldn't get that, she truly believes babies are capable of manipulation.

 

[Gemmamuk]

Wow Claire sounds like your trip away for a wedding went a whole lot better than our trip to Wales for my friends wedding!

Alex was an angel in the church and 'sang' along to the hymns. He went off to sleep in his pushchair while we were eating at the reception. During the speeches he started getting a little loud so I took him outside.after ten mins my oh came out and told me to go enjoy the rest of the speeches as the wedding was one of my best friends. But instead of staying outside he brought him back in after 2 mins but stayed by the door. Alex started getting loud and my friend, the groom, had to stop mid sentence to shhh him! I was mortified!!! I don't know what possessed oh to being him back in??

My oh thinks that cos he loves Alex and thinks he's cute, it's fine when he makes lots of noise - but I could see everyone around getting annoyed

In the night I had to take him for a 20 minute walk then he slept for about 45 mins in his pram and when he woke at 8.30, oh told ME I should take him home? Now the wedding was for one of my best friends ive known for 11 years, while OH doesn't know him that we'll, but he still felt I should go home anshe should stay?
At one point I went to dance and he said in front of my friends that I'm a mother now and not a carefree single girl and should be more responsible?! It's not like I left Alex playing in the road - he was suing with my friend!! Basically we rowed and he took Alex home at 10 and I stayed till 1am more to make a point than anything!

Since alex was born he goes out 3 evenings a week minimum while I stay home with Alex. I maybe go once a month and get a massive lecture?
What takes the biscuit is that he's not working so all our money is provided by me - so I pay for everything, do everything in house and for Alex, and he's allowed fun but I'm not cos I'm a mum now? I only wanted a bit of a boogie to wham

When people are around he plays the perfect dad, playing with Alex, feeding him, changing nappies - but at home he does bugger all but people see him and have a go at me for moaning when they see him being a great dad

 

[Claireyb1]

Hi Ladies:wave: well I'm back and all in one piece too!
The trip to Poland went suprisingly well tbh. I was soooo worried about lo's naps and sleep etc,but she was all things considered really a very good girl!!
On the day of the wedding the church ceremony was at 4pm (3pm uk time, kept her to uk time for ease of transition etc) the service was approx an hour and she was as good as gold with no whinging or anything the reception got a bit more difficult as she was getting tired and it was very loud and too much going on. When it came time to change her and feed her before bed (still at venue) they had nowhere quiet and private for me to do it and she just wouldn't feed with everything going on around me. I got sooo stressed and it got to the point where I had ordered a taxi and was going to have to leave early with lo and miss most of the evening then my brother (whose wedding it was) came up with the idea that I walk round to his hotel room (2 min walk away) and feed her etc........perfect solution as she fed and went straight to sleep and then slept in her buggy at the venue until it was time to go home at approx 1am!!!!!!
put her in her car seat and she barely woke,got back to th ehouse and she went straight back off to sleep. I was so amazed. she even took all her naps in a travel cot too. we still mainly co slept throught the night.
All in all I am a very happy bunny and everyone commented on how good she was.
very proud mummy.

Hope everyone else is ok. and big congrats Lulu!!!

awww I'm soooo happy it went well claire!!!
gives me hope, but i still don't know if we would have managed like you did

Thanks Kosh! I think because I had to do it, I just had to get on with it...so to speak. It has made me feel a bit more confident about stepping outside the normal routine.
I think perhaps it's a case of just taking the plunge!
xxx

 

[AngelUK]

Dunno but I sometimes think Dom wakes for his bottle at 4 out of habit. I really don't think he needs that bottle since he is over 9 kg. OH had last night and reported that it was really bad with Dom waking every hour! I find it so hard to accept that this is just the way he is and that I have to err... accept it.
I have been reading up on what that well known baby sleep person whispers () and though Dom is getting much better with the going back to sleep and most of the time he doesn't need picking up, he does still want his dummy or a quick jiggle. I am just too scared to take away his dummy cold turkey or otherwise. The dummy really is the only thing that will calm both boys quickly and though maybe I shouldn't care about this, I do rather find it embarrassing when both my babies start crying and screaming in public. So without the dummy how would I be able to soothe them both as fast?
So if it is the lack of dummy that wakes him at night then I guess I am stuck? Mind you Sebastian will not go to sleep without his dummy ever, which Dom will occasionally, but he never wakes just cause it fell out. :/

 

[lisa1980]

Chocolala - glad the appointment went well, hopefully you'll see improvements. And congrats for her Lily's first steps, clever baby!

I always got told that Lo woke out of habit too. I think habit is the wrong word really as it implies that they could choose NOT to wake. I don't think he woke for anything in particular, more that he stirred at certain times and couldn't get back to sleep on his own so needed my help...which is a legitimate need really (although try telling me that at 3am ). I agree that people really don't understand what it's like to have such a frequent waker if they've only had babies who wake a couple of times a night max. To imply that it's something that you're doing wrong as a parent is ridiculous IMO, and totally false.

Claire - I'm so glad your trip went well! Bet you're relieved I think you're probably right too...it may be just a case of going for it.

Gemma - sorry your OH was being annoying. How silly that he thinks you shouldn't leave Alex for a dance?! You're a mum, that doesn't mean you have to have NO fun any more!! I also agree with the other that said i'd definitely BF whilst LO is ill, diarrhoea or no diarrhoea. BM helps them to fight it and is easily digested so I can't imagine how it could make anything worse.

Angel - I don't have any dummy advice unfortunately as I'm too chicken to get rid of ours as it settled him so quickly. Does Dom ALWAYS wake up when his dummy falls out or is it only when he's stirring anyway and then realises his dummy has fallen out and wants it back?

Firefly - yay for a better night! I always fed my LO on wakings too and he always took it up until recently so I assumed he must have needed it. I only stopped recently because I'd have to coax him to feed and it wouldn't automatically make him sleepy anymore so it was becoming more of a battle than a help iykwim. Will your LO settle without a feed ever? Mine used to rarely settle with some water from a beaker (obv when he was old enough) so sometimes I guess he was just thirsty.

Kosh - how it going? Any success with the exclusion diet? I know you said the dairy-free had made a difference for the first day but not so much afterwards. Are you excluding all dairy or playing it by ear?

We are continuing to have some improvements but I still can't relax as I'm certain it's all going to go to pot at some point. We had a busy weekend at A&E as OH broke his wrist playing football so is currently off work but essentially useless as he can't even pick LO up let alone change a nappy (I'm not noticing THAT much difference to normal tbh ). It is nice to have some company though so I'm not complaining.

everyone

 

[kosh]

thanks for asking lisa and glad things are improving for you.
my DH kind of broke two toes too. he can still pick up LO, but it seems that he is not able to do anything else in the house now

as usual, i don't want to jinx it, but i think the diet is somehow helping. i've excluded diary (cheese and yogurt) and for some reason i thought i should also exclude chocolate, i must be crazy!!! truth is, i was eating waaay too much (dark 75% cocoa ). will continue like this for a while and then reintroduce them slowly and see what happens

however, naps are going wrong now! we were having those lovely 1.5hr and now they went back to 30min! at least if i get there quickly i usually manage to re-settle him.

 

[lisa1980]

thanks for asking lisa and glad things are improving for you.
my DH kind of broke two toes too. he can still pick up LO, but it seems that he is not able to do anything else in the house now

as usual, i don't want to jinx it, but i think the diet is somehow helping. i've excluded diary (cheese and yogurt) and for some reason i thought i should also exclude chocolate, i must be crazy!!! truth is, i was eating waaay too much (dark 75% cocoa ). will continue like this for a while and then reintroduce them slowly and see what happens

however, naps are going wrong now! we were having those lovely 1.5hr and now they went back to 30min! at least if i get there quickly i usually manage to re-settle him.

Glad the diet is helping. It's weird that you mention chocolate as my mum always bangs on about how she had to quit chocolate when I was a baby (I was BF) as it would make me hyperactive I'm not totally sure this is correct but she swears by it. It didn't help my sleep but i was a lost cause tbh. Hopefully it'll help any discomfort that your LO is having. Kudos to you for having the willpower

It seems that it's almost impossible to have good naps AND good night sleep...the holy grail of this thread

 

[chocolala]

Kosh - glad the exclusion diet seems to be helping giving up chocolate, I could never do it!

Lily is having a mammoth nap, 2 1/2 hours and still going!

 

[Lulu1982]

Kosh, e seem to have gone b k to 30 min naps too. I used to live for the 1 1/2 hur morning nap when I'd sit on the laptop with tea and toast Nd take my time getting ready for the day! I'm bloody knakcered!

Our nights seem to have evened out onto a new routine whic involved going to sleep incredibly easily and waking at 1-2 am for a feed. I'm not sure whether i should be giving her the milk or not as she sttn night 4 times last week? Always something t worry about!

 

[AngelUK]

Morning ladies. How did it go?
Our night was actually relatively good. Fed the boys round midnight (got to bed again at half past). Dom slept till 10 to 4 yay but would you believe it?! Seb woke at 3:15 wanting his dummy! The next waking was Seb again at 5:15 wanting his dummy again and from then on they both kept waking every 20 minutes till I have given up on sleep at 6:40. Came to the kitchen to make the bottles, read up on stuff and have a coffee and lo and behold all is quiet in the nursery. They had dropped off. I went to bed and snuggled next to my OH and 10 mins later Seb was moaning and stirring. I got up again and had another coffee to take to the nursery with me. All is quiet once again! GAH! lol

 

[Lulu1982]

Angel brilliant news that they're settling themselves back down! Fingers crossed for more improvement!

Our night was okay. Ava woke at 1am and didn't settle again Neil just gone 3 am but slept well the rest of the night so can't really complain!x

 

[AngelUK]

Up for 2 hours? Ugh! But at least you got some sleep before and after? What do you actually do during? Do you walk around with her trying to send her off again or do you sit by her and read?

As for self settling yeah there does seem to be a bit of that going on. Sebastian was always able to do this anyway the good little angel! But Dom sort of half managed it too once or twice. At 4 when I was getting to the bottom of the bottle with Dom he turned his face back over and to the side as he likes (we have started feeding him where he lies in his cot so as to disrupt him as little as possible) and I thought ok he will drop off like he usually does at the end of the feed. So I got Sebastian out of the cot cause I thought he had done a poo. (Do you smell poo everywhere too??) I changed him but nothing. Then I laid him down on the nursery bed which is next to Dom's cot and fed Seb. By this time Dom was stirring again and I thought oh dear now I'll have to stop feeding Seb and send Dom off again otherwise he will go into meltdown. But he tossed and turned a few times moaning to himself and then actually dropped off! And he did this again this morning! I am not going to read too much into it but it does give me hope cause I now see he can sort of do it if he isn't too wide awake!

 

[youngwife20]

and by 'bad sleeper' i mean really bad. don't take it the wrong way, but if your LO wakes 2-3 times per night, this thread is prob not for you (but you can advise of course! ) this is for the hard-core crap sleepers!

I can think of at least another 4 mums in the forum (you know who you are! ) but I am sure there are more, so I thought we could have our own thread and share experiences and rants! I was going to post this last week, but then had a couple of rather good days and thought 'oh, maybe this is over?', yes, sure! lol we're back to 'normal' now...

So a bit about me and my LO:
he's the most beautiful thing in the world he's just over 6months. he's BF.
at about 2 months he established his own routine - bed by 8pm and waking every 3hr to feed, then back to sleep quite easily
then at around 3 1/2 months something happened (sleep regression?) and he started to wake up more often, but he'd still do the initial 3hr stretch, and then maybe, 2x 2hr, and 2x 1.5hr,
then the days got longer (and was light v early) and he'd be wide awake by 4-5am. thankfully, we somehow got over that with dark blinds etc, so he would go back to sleep but he'd started to wake every hour from 5am until 8am...
current situation is he doesn't do the initial 3hr stretch anymore, sometimes he sleeps for 2hr if I am really lucky, but most nights he's up every 45-90min. not only that, but now it takes a while to re-settle him. we also had some days where he wakes at 3-4am and stays awake for 1-2hr.
oh, and of course he has to be nursed/rocked to sleep...
some days I cope, others I cry at night. I am really concerned as I am back to work in 6 weeks and I will not do CC/CIO.

hope we can share tips to make our lives easier!



--------------------
EDIT - forgot to ask, would you mind sharing with me:

1) did you have any stress/complications during your pregnancy/birth? (I remember flippity, you were induced a day before me!)
2) are you FF or BF? I have the impression this problem is more common in BF babies
3) tiredness aside - do you feel overwhelmed, worried, anxious, etc? do you feel you have enough support or you're doing most of the looking after LO on your own?

thanks

Hi hun my daughter is 6 months old she is mainly formula fed was exclusivly bf for 5 and ahalf months i had alot of complications at birth why is this related to bad slepeing babys u think? My water broke friday failed to progress after 48hours got to 6cm ended up with an emc and a womb infection and daughter was in specvial unit for 6 days nill by mouth with a really bad infection. And i also thought mainly bf babys have this issue but my daughter is now ff and is still bad infact worse now on ff?

I have lots of support my husband and mother r great but as he wakes early for work i always am watching her at night now. It is tirieing really as i am really worried sometimes becoz now shes rolling onto her belly at night and standing up in her cott so im constantly watching her she just randomly starts crying sometimes every half an hour i just dont know why becaue when i sleep in the other room for my hubby to watch her she wakes up maybe once or not at all!! I just dnt get it!!

 

[chocolala]

So Monday night was a fluke.

She fought sleep again last night, we gave up in the end and just let her play for a while, after that she went off with a bit of a fight. Despite not settling to sleep until going on 11pm she woke at 7, I tried getting her back to sleep but she just fought it despite drifting off a couple of times.

I don't really know what to do any more, I'm exhausted, she's exhausted. Part of me keeps saying this latest round of bad sleep fighting and even more frequent waking is a development thing, but I've been telling my self that for nearly six months now.

I know she's having osteopathy, but that might not work, so what do I do then?!

It's really getting me down now.

 

[youngwife20]

Kosh, e seem to have gone b k to 30 min naps too. I used to live for the 1 1/2 hur morning nap when I'd sit on the laptop with tea and toast Nd take my time getting ready for the day! I'm bloody knakcered!

Our nights seem to have evened out onto a new routine whic involved going to sleep incredibly easily and waking at 1-2 am for a feed. I'm not sure whether i should be giving her the milk or not as she sttn night 4 times last week? Always something t worry about!

Hi hun id still give her milk just like u sometimes ur thirsty at night sometimes ur not so if she needs it give it to her. I was told to not give my daughter milk becoz " a 6month old doesnt need milk at night" how wrong she was my daughter downed a 9ounce bottle so fast! So she did need it xx

 

[Gemmamuk]

Chocolala
You just have to have in mind that things WILL get better!
We had 6 amazing nights, then went away and he got ill and it's all gone to pot and I almost feel worse as I'd been so happy thinking we cracked it, and now we are back to square one and the CC doesn't seem to be going as well this time around