is/was your LO a really bad sleeper? support and advise thread!

[Ramie]

Hello ladies

I have been stalking this thread from day one, never really get the time to write but have decided I'd like to make an effort to join you all on here if that's ok??

I definitely qualify - my lo is just over 9 months and the longest he's ever slept is about 3 and a half hours. We co-slept from birth as he would not be put down anywhere. This worked well until around 8 months when I felt I kept waking him up every time I moved and he thought it was play time So, transitioned him into the cot. Basically to cut a long story short, lo wakes on average around 8 times a night, usually sleeps for an hour or sometimes 2 if I'm lucky. It can take anything from 10 mins to 1 hour to get him back to sleep again. I've started to log everything in the hope to see some kind of pattern/reason!

Oh I exclusively bf, he does not have a bottle or a dummy. I blw and he hardly eats anything (tried spoon feeding but that was a no go). I think he bf's more during the night than he does during the day.

Sorry for the long post.

I am beyond tired.

 

[kosh]

welcome ramie!
just when i was saying i'd be left here on my own...

your description of your LO's sleep is just like mine - max of 3 1/2 hr (but it's been soooo long now) and currently up every hour approx (can be every 2,can be every 45min ) I'm too beyond tired

we too EBF, no bottle or dummy, BLW (started really well but he's almost on hunger strike atm) and co-sleep (wouldn't survive otherwise)

he was getting soooo much better about a month ago but then he got a cold and all went to square one again. i found out today that he had glue ear and inflamed adenoids

anyway, better go to bed
glad you finally joined us
we're a nice bunch

 

[Gemmamuk]

Kosh some night I think ill still be here till Alex is 18

In some ways I wish he was bad every night so we could get into some sort of routine.

As it is, the best night he's done was 7pm-8.45am, which done get me wrong is amazing. on hols for half term he slept in a bed with me and slept 11-9 only waking at 7 for a bottle twice! But every night for the last 6 nights he had me up EVERY BLOODY HOUR!!!!!

I just never know if its going to be good or bad and nothing seems to make a difference. Last night was a lot better than the previous 5 thank god. I was SO poorly. He went to bed at 7, and had me up at 8, 10.30, 3-4, 7.20-7.40, then woke for the day at 9.30 so not bad, and I was so ill I was very grateful.

Tonight I've had SIL and OH here going to him also when he wakes as he's woken every 30-40 mins. I Still feel so poorly and just need sleep

 

[kosh]

I'm still here (in spirit at least)!! I refuse to leave until woohoo thread day.

We've had a few horrendous nights lately as he's had a bug and has been so poorly (the worst I've seen him, poor mite). He would only nap on me and his routine and nights went haywire, but now that he's better he's back to napping in the cot which I'm taking as a good sign.

Kosh - I'm so sorry LO isn't coping so well with you being at work. Does he like nursery? Do you go to BF him in the day?

Everyone else - I often think of you all and I check on this thread regularly for updates even if I don't post. I'm crossing all my appendages for good nights for you all.

thanks lisa
tbh i don't know whether he likes nursery or not
i thought he did but the last couple of days he didn't want to stay
i feel absolutely terrible
he's sooo clingy atm and has been ill for3 weeks. went to doc today again and at least they finally told me there was something wrong - glue ear and adenoids. poor thing he wakes up screaming every hour
i can't cope anymore

 

[kosh]

Kosh some night I think ill still be here till Alex is 18

In some ways I wish he was bad every night so we could get into some sort of routine.

As it is, the best night he's done was 7pm-8.45am, which done get me wrong is amazing. on hols for half term he slept in a bed with me and slept 11-9 only waking at 7 for a bottle twice! But every night for the last 6 nights he had me up EVERY BLOODY HOUR!!!!!

I just never know if its going to be good or bad and nothing seems to make a difference. Last night was a lot better than the previous 5 thank god. I was SO poorly. He went to bed at 7, and had me up at 8, 10.30, 3-4, 7.20-7.40, then woke for the day at 9.30 so not bad, and I was so ill I was very grateful.

Tonight I've had SIL and OH here going to him also when he wakes as he's woken every 30-40 mins. I Still feel so poorly and just need sleep

really sorry gemma
i didn't mention your name because i thought yours was 'cured'
hope tonight is a good one!

 

[Ramie]

anyway, better go to bed
glad you finally joined us
we're a nice bunch

Thanks kosh!

Well my night started off pretty terrible but then got better: asleep at 7.00, then woke at 7.35, 9.50, 10.10, 10.50, 1.45, 2.20, 6.55 (a 4 1/2 hour stretch...amaaazing! He has never ever done this!!) and up for the day at 7.30.

What gets to me though is that I have no clue what kind of a night I'm in for. Naps don't seem to make any difference. He has a serious case of the 30 minute napper, to the minute but once every couple of weeks he'll nap for 2 hours

Kosh, hope your lo is starting to feel better

 

[Ramie]

Hope you're starting to feel better Gemma, it is shocking being up that often when you're poorly x

 

[MrsHedgehog]

Welcome Ramie Hope you can find some advice and support here to help you.

We had a really terrible night. I had to resettle her every half an hour between 9.30pm and 1.30am. By then I was fed up of nursing her to sleep constantly and so refused to feed her again which involved a lot of tears from me and her. She eventually fell asleep on me around 3am, just to wake again at 4 when I nearly lost the plot and DH had to take over. More tears and tantrums until I gave in and fed her to sleep at about 5.30am. Then she finally had a decent stretch until about 8am. I'm so exhausted and grumpy today and LO is being a wee devil. Kicking, scratching, throwing her food away and not her usual sweet self. I feel like I've created a monster. This is such a thankless job. I've given everything of myself to make sure LO is happy and I get repaid by being scratched in the face when LO woke this morning.

 

[Claireyb1]

Hello ladies

I have been stalking this thread from day one, never really get the time to write but have decided I'd like to make an effort to join you all on here if that's ok??

I definitely qualify - my lo is just over 9 months and the longest he's ever slept is about 3 and a half hours. We co-slept from birth as he would not be put down anywhere. This worked well until around 8 months when I felt I kept waking him up every time I moved and he thought it was play time So, transitioned him into the cot. Basically to cut a long story short, lo wakes on average around 8 times a night, usually sleeps for an hour or sometimes 2 if I'm lucky. It can take anything from 10 mins to 1 hour to get him back to sleep again. I've started to log everything in the hope to see some kind of pattern/reason!

Oh I exclusively bf, he does not have a bottle or a dummy. I blw and he hardly eats anything (tried spoon feeding but that was a no go). I think he bf's more during the night than he does during the day.

Sorry for the long post.

I am beyond tired.

Hello and welcome Ramie!
Sadly I think you DO belong here with us (I say sadly as I'm sure we would all rather prefer not to have to post on such a thread and have 8 hrs of blissful sleep every night)
Very similar story to me apart from that fact I am still co-sleeping as I haven't had the courage to put her in the cot again.
Hope to see more post from you - we sleep deprived mummys need all the support we can get!

 

[Ramie]

Hi MrsHedgehog and Clairey!

Sorry to hear you are having such a hard time MrsHedgehog. It does feel like a slap in the face sometimes, when all you want to do is peacefully rock or feed them to sleep

 

[Claireyb1]

All very quiet on here?! Obviously it's because all the babies have been STTN this weekend?! lol
I hope everyone is ok?

 

[MrsHedgehog]

All very quiet on here?! Obviously it's because all the babies have been STTN this weekend?! lol
I hope everyone is ok?

Haha! I wish

 

[Ramie]

All very quiet on here?! Obviously it's because all the babies have been STTN this weekend?! lol
I hope everyone is ok?

More likely that we're all too sleep deprived to form sentences!

Usual night for me, asleep at 7.10 then woke at 7.35, 8.30, 9.55, 11.00, 12.30, 3.00, 3.30, 5.30 and up for the day at 6.45. This really is not normal, I'm starting to think there might be something physically wrong with him and I question what I do constantly.

 

[Ramie]

So, on my hunt for the answer to my LO's sleep issues, I wondered If you lovely ladies wouldn't mind sharing any little routines, rituals, anything really that you do with your LO's. Like do they have an object they are attached to (apart from yourselves), do you use light shows, slumber bears......or am I clutching at straws here?!

I always have white noise (wind/rain sounds) on in the background for all of his naps and night sleeping. We live in a bungalow so I'm always super paranoid that we'll wake him as his bedroom door is pretty much opposite our living area. I've been playing around with the volume of it.

I always put him down to sleep on his tummy.

I don't always wind him after every night feed...should I be doing this? If he feeds to sleep I just place him in the cot as I'd worry that winding him would wake him up.

If he doesn't feed to sleep, I hold him on my chest and rock/jig/sshh him.

I always go straight to him as soon as he wakes up in the night (everyone IRL says that I shouldn't be doing this). I might wait for a few seconds just to see as on the odd occasion he has cried out and then gone straight back to sleep.

I never leave him to cry, ever.

Obviously none of the above works but would be interested to see what everyone else is doing or tried.

xx

 

[lisa1980]

Raimie

I'm dipping in to share what we do. It's not perfect by any means....he's not been great at sleeping since his cold last week but I'm hopeful he's going to improve again.

I also use white noise. Started as we used to live in a one-bedroom flat and I was conscious of our noise waking him. We also had to share a room until he was around 9 months ish due to living arrangements, which I don't think necessarily helped as he'd wake at every noise. I would also run to him at every peep to avoid him waking up the neighbours...again, this probably didn't help

He doesn't have a teddy or comfort blanket but lately he likes to sleep with a dummy in his mouth and one in each hand haha so I think this is a kind of comfort thing. I'm not looking forward to ditching the dummies!

He has always slept on his tummy. I don't wind him if he falls asleep whilst feeding.

He has always been fed to sleep but in the last month or so he's started to not need it and will fall asleep in my arms or even in his cot if the mood is right

I have tried almost every sleep technique and self-settling trick that I've come across in the last year...mostly with no success tbh. I spent ages trying to get him to self-settle from awake in his cot by staying with him and stroking his head etc, but it was taking hours and not improving so I stopped. He's had a bedtime routine from 2 months but it never seemed to help. I tried shush/pat, PU/PD, ditching dummies, re-introducing dummies, more blankets, less blankets, blah blah blaf.

The are a few things that I think HAVE made a difference for us (bear in mind that it's completely subjective!) when I look back at it. We had a period where OH was off work and did al lot more night duty and settling of LO. I think this helped Lo to learn that he could settle without me. We did our own version of CC a couple of months ago. I was very opposed to the idea but after a particularly awful period where he would scream for hours even whilst being held we decided to try it. I'm not recommending it at all, but I do think that it helped LO to realise he could self-soothe, and it helped me to be able to distinguish more between his cries more accurately, which still helps us now. We've never had to repeat the experience so far.

His sleep also improved after he learnt to walk, partly because he's like a whirlwind and i think he tires himself out more.

Lastly, I've been capping his daytime sleep (well, his morning nap at least) and that seemed to help.

I do wonder, though, whether some of the improvement is purely due to him getting older Who knows?

I hope your LO starts to sleep better for you soon.

 

[kosh]

very quick post - just to say that my internet connection at home has been disconnected by mistake hopefully will be back soon

 

[Ramie]

Thanks for sharing all that Lisa!

I've also tried some of the things you mentioned like shh/pat and pu/pd, they did work where he would eventually fall asleep in the cot but he still had the very frequent wakings and at 2,3,4 in the morning I easily gave up and fed/rocked in desperation to get him back to sleep quicker

I'm just hoping that over time as he grows, crawls, walks etc his sleep periods will just gradually increase. He is quite a slim baby and I often wonder if it would help if he had a bit more meat on his bones!

He fell asleep at 7 so just waiting for the first of many wakings!

Kosh, hope you're back online soon.

Hope everyone has a restful night

 

[Claireyb1]

So, on my hunt for the answer to my LO's sleep issues, I wondered If you lovely ladies wouldn't mind sharing any little routines, rituals, anything really that you do with your LO's. Like do they have an object they are attached to (apart from yourselves), do you use light shows, slumber bears......or am I clutching at straws here?!

I always have white noise (wind/rain sounds) on in the background for all of his naps and night sleeping. We live in a bungalow so I'm always super paranoid that we'll wake him as his bedroom door is pretty much opposite our living area. I've been playing around with the volume of it.

I always put him down to sleep on his tummy.

I don't always wind him after every night feed...should I be doing this? If he feeds to sleep I just place him in the cot as I'd worry that winding him would wake him up.

If he doesn't feed to sleep, I hold him on my chest and rock/jig/sshh him.

I always go straight to him as soon as he wakes up in the night (everyone IRL says that I shouldn't be doing this). I might wait for a few seconds just to see as on the odd occasion he has cried out and then gone straight back to sleep.

I never leave him to cry, ever.

Obviously none of the above works but would be interested to see what everyone else is doing or tried.

xx

Well Ramie, your experiences are very similar to me and I guess alot of other ladies too,so don't question yourself too much about the "what am I doing wrong?" thing.
We too do white noise for every nap and all through the night aswell as we also live on one floor (apartment) and it stops all the residual noise we make from waking her up.

I put LO down to sleep on her back and most times she rolls over,gets comfy and sleeps,other times she stays on her back for a while - it all depends really.
After night feeds I pop her on my shoulder, but this is more to move her from the boob to place her down to sleep. Sometimes she has a burp but mostly not. I think they are of the age where winding isn't really needed??

I don't let LO cry either. I think for the most part I am scared that if she cries too long I won't get her back to sleep quickly enough? also we co-sleep so she is in my bed (with rails) so once she has woken I don't like to leave her there incase she makes a bid for freedom! lol I often feel that this doesn't help the situation, but not sure what to do about it? I'm just too tired to try and do anything else.
Oddly last night she went down at 7.30pm and slept until 11pm without waking (this is good for her!) and tonight she is being good so far so who the hell knows why different nights produce different results?
I guess if we knew that we wouldn't be on here,right?

Hope you have a good night.
Hugs to all.

 

[MrsHedgehog]

So, on my hunt for the answer to my LO's sleep issues, I wondered If you lovely ladies wouldn't mind sharing any little routines, rituals, anything really that you do with your LO's. Like do they have an object they are attached to (apart from yourselves), do you use light shows, slumber bears......or am I clutching at straws here?!

I always have white noise (wind/rain sounds) on in the background for all of his naps and night sleeping. We live in a bungalow so I'm always super paranoid that we'll wake him as his bedroom door is pretty much opposite our living area. I've been playing around with the volume of it.

I always put him down to sleep on his tummy.

I don't always wind him after every night feed...should I be doing this? If he feeds to sleep I just place him in the cot as I'd worry that winding him would wake him up.

If he doesn't feed to sleep, I hold him on my chest and rock/jig/sshh him.

I always go straight to him as soon as he wakes up in the night (everyone IRL says that I shouldn't be doing this). I might wait for a few seconds just to see as on the odd occasion he has cried out and then gone straight back to sleep.

I never leave him to cry, ever.

Obviously none of the above works but would be interested to see what everyone else is doing or tried.

xx

I don't really have much to add that hasn't been said already. We have tried a lot of different things with LO but nothing really works. The only thing that will get her to sleep is nursing and the only way she'll sleep is in bed with me. I sometimes try to get her to sleep in other ways but it's pointless, she hates being rocked, will just stand up in her cot if I put her in awake and jump around, screams if DH tries to get her to sleep. I know it's because I allowed her to get into 'bad' habits when she was little but I don't regret it. I think it was what she needed at the time and I've always tried to do the best for her even if it's hard on me.

What I'm really struggling with now is having to stay in bed with her the whole time she's sleeping. I'm too scared of her rolling off the bed to leave her which basically means I'm in bed for 12 hours every day. I'll pop in and out but I never like to be too far away so I end up just lying on the bed with her and the laptop. It leaves me with no time to do anything else or to spend a bit of time with DH in the evenings. I'm thinking of putting our mattress on the floor so she can't roll off. Those of you who are co-sleeping, how do you cope with this?

 

[Claireyb1]

I don't really have much to add that hasn't been said already. We have tried a lot of different things with LO but nothing really works. The only thing that will get her to sleep is nursing and the only way she'll sleep is in bed with me. I sometimes try to get her to sleep in other ways but it's pointless, she hates being rocked, will just stand up in her cot if I put her in awake and jump around, screams if DH tries to get her to sleep. I know it's because I allowed her to get into 'bad' habits when she was little but I don't regret it. I think it was what she needed at the time and I've always tried to do the best for her even if it's hard on me.

What I'm really struggling with now is having to stay in bed with her the whole time she's sleeping. I'm too scared of her rolling off the bed to leave her which basically means I'm in bed for 12 hours every day. I'll pop in and out but I never like to be too far away so I end up just lying on the bed with her and the laptop. It leaves me with no time to do anything else or to spend a bit of time with DH in the evenings. I'm thinking of putting our mattress on the floor so she can't roll off. Those of you who are co-sleeping, how do you cope with this?[/QUOTE]

^^^^ agree!!

As a co sleeper I am lucky in the fact that we live in an apartment so all our rooms are on one level. LO's room/my room isn't too far away so I can always hear her if she wakes. We have these bumper things that go under the bottom sheet and stop her rolling off, they are like long foam wedges.
If she had a room upstairs in a house then I really don't know what I would do??? sorry, that's not much help isit?!
xxx