is/was your LO a really bad sleeper? support and advise thread!

[kosh]

Kosh - how is your LO?

thanks for asking lisa (oops just realised i still havent reply to your PM, sorry!!)
he's up and down. went to the doc again today as iwas convinced he had an ear infection, but she said he is fine. reckons the viral infection is still going on. he's really clingy and upset most of the time and his sleep, well, you can imagine. last night he woke up again every hour or less. i'm sooo tired

 

[lisa1980]

Boo. That sucks. Sorry he's still poorly and waking so much. It could be a viral ear infection I suppose....they usually are viral which is cr@ppy as there's nothing you can really do for it other than painkillers and waiting for it to go, which is very frustrating. The only silver lining is that his immune system will be ninja-like (I'm sure that's not much comfort in the middle of the night )

Claire - How is you mum?
I don't know what people did before CC....maybe CIO? That always seemed to be what older generations advised that I do. I couldn't do that, but then I always swore I'd never do CC until things got SO awful that I was losing my mind and it seemed the only way. Maybe when modern life wasn't what it is now this whole sttn thing didn't really matter so much as babies slept with their mothers and fed all night and we weren't ruled by the 9am-5pm lifestyle

 

[firefly15]

Evening ladies! Kosh, Mrs Hedgehog and Claire - sorry you're having rubbish nights

LO has been having ok-ish nights for the last few days, unfortunately I haven't been able to take advantage as I've had the most appalling sore throat thing since Friday and can't sleep due to the pain I was hoping that it would just go away, but so far it just seems to have got worse and now I'm in so much pain I actually considered just tying a muslin round my neck and drooling in order to avoid having to swallow B*llocks I think is the word I'm looking for...

Lisa - amazing that you got your LO down for a nap without so much as a peep, that really is fantastic!!

I am now officially a sahm. I requested part time hours as I don't have the option of childcare for full time (which they knew) and work refused my request so no choice but to resign!

 

[MrsHedgehog]

Still having crappy nights here although on the plus side the clocks going back means that LO is now going to bed at a decent hour and waking up at a normal time. (Before we were bed any time after 10pm and up no earlier than 10am). Last night she went down at 8.30pm and slept until 8am which would have been awesome if it wasn't for the hourly wakings in between! I think LO is in wonder week 55 as she's been really cranky and clingy during the day which is unlike her. How did the clocks changing affect your LOs?

Claire - I think in the past people would have had different expectations of babies sleeping and most would have co-slept and BF during the night. I think it would have been a lot more common for babies to wake often at night. LOs sleep wouldn't bother me so much if I thought that it was more common. As it is I feel like I'm the only one IRL whose baby doesn't sleep. I keep hearing of friends leaving their LOs over night while they go out or away for the weekend. I just couldn't do that because LO wouldn't sleep. It makes me feel abnormal! In the past though I think it would have been abnormal for a mother to leave their child until they were much older. I've always tried to do things in as natural a way as possible (I call it caveman parenting!) and while this means that I have a baby who still wakes frequently at night to feed I think she is the way babies are supposed to be. Modern society, the media etc. has given us a false idea of what babies and motherhood should be like. We're supposed to have perfectly behaved kids who sleep all night alone in their cots allowing us plenty of time to look good, keep a perfect home, grow our own vegetables and cook homemade organic baby food, go out to work or be a SAHM who is super organised and plans all sorts of creative activities for the kids. The reality is that I have a 1 year old who is more or less attached to my boob constantly all night which means that for 12 hours a day I'm in bed with her, the other 12 are spent trying to overcome a mountain of washing, prepare half decent food, cleaning up messes one handed with a baby attached to my hip or clinging onto my leg. I don't have time to do more than tread the water. When I look at other mums I feel like I'm failing as they all have it more together than I do. But then I look at my LO and I see how happy, smart and confident she is and I know I must be doing something right.

Wow that was long!

 

[Claireyb1]

Mrs Hedgehog, thank you so much for the great post! it really did hit the nail on the head - for me anyway.
I read it out to my OH and he agreed that it was quite apt
I too think I wouldn't worry so much if I thought I wasn't the "odd one out" when it came to LO's sleeping(or lack of lol) I do believe that a lot of people do not disclose the full extent to how well their baby sleeps, but I do understand that some babies are just great sleepers as much as some are just cr@p. TBH I am quite happy with the thought of not really going out on evenings etc with the knowledge that my baby is not going to get upset because I am not there.The problem for me is other peoples idea that this is abnormal and I should be off out at night and away for weekends etc. I just wish I had the courage to tell people that this is my way and that they need to accept my views

Hope everyones night was ok? mine was alright,not great,but alright.

 

[lisa1980]

Mrs H - you have said everything that I have thought over the past year. I got sick of being asked about LO's sleep because of the inevitable 'advice' or implication that I must be doing something wrong. That defintely added to the stress of it all. I kept beng told that it 'gets better' at 6 weeks, 3 months, 6 months...whenever, and I fully believed that it would and that I'd suddenly be able to cope and enjoy it rather than just try to keep going. Needless to say, those time frames passed and nothing changed (if anything it got worse) and I started to lose hope, frankly. Getting to a baby group felt like an achievement, but other mums I know were out and about every day and having a whale of a time (on the face of it anyway), and it made me feel like cr@p. I stopped talking to anyone about his sleep (except on here!) as I really felt that people just didn't get it and thought I was exaggerating or being a drama-queen, even family, which made me feel so isolated. Anyway, his sleep is better now so it's not as all-consuming, but I still can't quite believe how bad it used to be.

Firefly - I hope your throat is better

Kosh- I hope your LO is better. Are you back at work yet?

Claire - I'm also happy for an excuse not to go out in the evening much, especially now that it's freezing cold and dark at 4pm

 

[kosh]

totally agree, but i do think that our babies are at one extreme of the 'sleep spectrum'. i get both sides of the 'advise' - ppl that think I am doing somethign wrong (usually HV, GPs etc) and that by now LO should not be feeding at night and should be STTN and all the rset, but funilly enough I also get the other advise from a friend of mine, who keeps telling my LO is totally 'normal' because that's what BF babies do, and I am not too sure....
in fact i think she got a midle of the road type of babies - they were BF and didn't STTN until over 1.5 years which is still waaay worse that what ppl expect nowadays, but they woke an average of 2, maybe 3 times at night, not a million like ours.
i too stopped talking about LO's sleep. in my case i was tired of getting the 'have you tried leaving him (to cry)' advise. or the 'yes, they'll wake up and stir a bit, but they will settle again'. well, no, maybe that's your baby, but not mine
just 10 min ago i got another piece of advise - that i should stop BF at night. ha, as if that was entirely my choice (i know in a way it is too, but you know what i mean)

anyway, on a plus note - LO is at nursery now (introductory day), I just called to see how his doing and guess what....he is sleeping!

 

[lisa1980]

Kosh - Of COURSE he'd be asleep! Typical. Maybe nursery will tire him out and help him sleep better at night. I definitely think that starting to walk has helped with my LO's sleep as it seems like a directly proportional relationship between the amount of exercise he gets in the day and how he sleeps at night. Fairly tricky now as I've decided I MUST take him to the park and let him run around at least once a day, even in the rain and fog, just in case it messes up his sleep if I don't. Honestly, you'd think I'd just relax a bit now wouldn't you, but old habits die hard!

It also cracks me up when people say 'Oh, just stop BF', or 'just don't feed him at night', or 'just make him nap longer in the day'. Erm, HOW? A lot of those who have given me this advice in the past DO actually have children. All I can think is they must have forgotten how it is, or they had the most relaxed babies ever known

 

[Claireyb1]

totally agree, but i do think that our babies are at one extreme of the 'sleep spectrum'. i get both sides of the 'advise' - ppl that think I am doing somethign wrong (usually HV, GPs etc) and that by now LO should not be feeding at night and should be STTN and all the rset, but funilly enough I also get the other advise from a friend of mine, who keeps telling my LO is totally 'normal' because that's what BF babies do, and I am not too sure....
in fact i think she got a midle of the road type of babies - they were BF and didn't STTN until over 1.5 years which is still waaay worse that what ppl expect nowadays, but they woke an average of 2, maybe 3 times at night, not a million like ours.
i too stopped talking about LO's sleep. in my case i was tired of getting the 'have you tried leaving him (to cry)' advise. or the 'yes, they'll wake up and stir a bit, but they will settle again'. well, no, maybe that's your baby, but not mine
just 10 min ago i got another piece of advise - that i should stop BF at night. ha, as if that was entirely my choice (i know in a way it is too, but you know what i mean)

anyway, on a plus note - LO is at nursery now (introductory day), I just called to see how his doing and guess what....he is sleeping!

Wow Kosh, sleeping at nursery, that's amazing!! I wonder how they did it? and I will be very keen to see if it has any impact on his night sleep at all?
How are they giving him milk at nursery? I have never managed to get Lucy to take milk from anything other than my boob so I feel a bit stuck with how to ever get her off it! lol

 

[Gemmamuk]

God it drives me nuts when people say to just stop breastfeeding. He's a lot bigger and stronger now and it's really hard to stop him!
We've just come back from 4 nights in a caravan (never again in October!!!). It was way too cold for him to sleep in cot on his own so he slept in with me (under 4 duvets!). I had button up pjs and woke a few times to him fighting his way through bedding and pj too to get to boob and if I tried to stop him he would fight and growl and cry at me

Wondering how I'm ever going to stop him at the mo, or if ill still be bf'ing an 18 year old

 

[Claireyb1]

God it drives me nuts when people say to just stop breastfeeding. He's a lot bigger and stronger now and it's really hard to stop him!
We've just come back from 4 nights in a caravan (never again in October!!!). It was way too cold for him to sleep in cot on his own so he slept in with me (under 4 duvets!). I had button up pjs and woke a few times to him fighting his way through bedding and pj too to get to boob and if I tried to stop him he would fight and growl and cry at me

Wondering how I'm ever going to stop him at the mo, or if ill still be bf'ing an 18 year old

I know how you feel!! I find it hard to imagine a time when I won't be feeding her?!

 

[MrsHedgehog]

God it drives me nuts when people say to just stop breastfeeding. He's a lot bigger and stronger now and it's really hard to stop him!
We've just come back from 4 nights in a caravan (never again in October!!!). It was way too cold for him to sleep in cot on his own so he slept in with me (under 4 duvets!). I had button up pjs and woke a few times to him fighting his way through bedding and pj too to get to boob and if I tried to stop him he would fight and growl and cry at me

Wondering how I'm ever going to stop him at the mo, or if ill still be bf'ing an 18 year old

Sometimes when LO wakes wanting to nurse I lie really still and pretend to be asleep. Sometimes she'll just wriggle about a bit and then go back to sleep. The past few nights though she's started hitting me on the head to wake me up! Some people have suggested that I night wean but I'm just not sure how I'd do it. LO would be awake all night. As for giving water instead, LO would think I was crazy if I tried giving her her sippy cup in the middle of the night.

 

[Claireyb1]

When is my run of bad luck going to end?
LO started vomiting at 1am last night and I was up pretty much all night with her.I think I had to change her about 6 times and went through 3 sleeping bags,had to change the bed 3 times and myself about 6 times after being puked on
She is still being sick if she has too much milk/water/food,so we are having to limit it to just frequent sips - which is very hard for me as all she wants is her booby,but it makes her sick when she takes too much
We took her to the hospital at 8.40am for an emergency out of hours doctors appointment and she is most likely suffering a gastro bug thing.
I am soooo tired it's unbeliveable.
I hope tonight is not too bad for us wish me luck!

Edit - how on earth do I get my poor little baby to sleep when all she wants is booby?? I know if she has too much she will be sick again, but she likes to comfort suck esp when poorly?! what a nightmare!!

 

[MrsHedgehog]

Oh Claire poor you and poor LO! Sounds awful. I'm no expert but I'd be tempted just to let LO nurse if that's what she wants even if she is sick afterwards. If that's what she wants then that's probably what she needs. Hope she gets better soon

 

[Claireyb1]

Oh Claire poor you and poor LO! Sounds awful. I'm no expert but I'd be tempted just to let LO nurse if that's what she wants even if she is sick afterwards. If that's what she wants then that's probably what she needs. Hope she gets better soon

Thankfully she is alseep now (but for how long?) I am going to go with Little and often, that way we stand more of a chance of something staying in her.
At least I know she has had some food and liquid that has stayed down
Fingers crossed it is passing.

 

[kosh]

oh no, claire!
i too would say let her nurse, even if she's sick, BF has all she needs to fight the nasty bug so i'm sure she knows what she is doing!
hope lucy manages to sleep (and let you sleep) at least a couple of hours.

we had a terrible night lastnight, lost count of wakings, prob every hour or less. LO has a really bad cold now, with a cough and a very runny nose that does not let him breath...

 

[Claireyb1]

oh no, claire!
i too would say let her nurse, even if she's sick, BF has all she needs to fight the nasty bug so i'm sure she knows what she is doing!
hope lucy manages to sleep (and let you sleep) at least a couple of hours.

we had a terrible night lastnight, lost count of wakings, prob every hour or less. LO has a really bad cold now, with a cough and a very runny nose that does not let him breath...

Oh Kosh, you poor thing and poor LO too! it's soo horrible when they are poorly.It is made all the harder when mummy is so sleep deprived too
I'm off to bed now to try and get a few hours (hopefully) I hope your LO manages to get a better nights sleep too so you can at least rest a bit.
Thinking of you and all the other mummy's with little sleep snatchers!

 

[firefly15]

Kosh and Claire hope you're both ok and not too demented from lack of sleep.

I am STILL ill a week and a half of a really nasty sore throat/chesty cough/severe cold that just will not shift. I think maybe today I am finally slightly better but bleurgh.

On a more positive note I think the new osteopath that we've been seeing may actually be a genius. LO's sleep is still awful by most people's standards but since seeing the osteopath he is now down to waking 3 times a night (mostly) and is so much more settled about the whole sleep thing generally. Today a miracle happened. He has never, ever slept in his cot for naps other than rare freakish occasions and if he has he normally wakes up after 45 mins. As I feel so rubbish I couldn't face taking him out so thought I'd attempt the cot...all was going really badly until I had a sense of humour failure after 25 minutes and stomped out the room. No crying, no fuss, just stood in his cot and chatted for a while, then lay down...and then WENT TO SLEEP!!!! In the day, in his cot, on his own!!!! He's been asleep for 90 mins so far and I am in utter shock! Please, please let this continue. Napping in the buggy or car is fine in the summer but not good in the winter and if I can get him to sleep in his cot during the day it would be AMAZING!

Hope everyone else is ok and sleepy dust for all

 

[kosh]

wow firefly that sounds great!


well, I now know what being sleep deprived really feels like - I'm back at work, trying to get things done, but feel like I am floating

I hate this. really hate it
I miss him so much

 

[firefly15]

wow firefly that sounds great!


well, I now know what being sleep deprived really feels like - I'm back at work, trying to get things done, but feel like I am floating

I hate this. really hate it
I miss him so much

Oh Kosh

I don't know what's causing it at the moment but I've been feeling so hormonal and tearful the last few days, I can't imagine how hard it must be to leave LO to go to work when you don't want to. Add the sleep deprivation into the mix and...yikes.