is/was your LO a really bad sleeper? support and advise thread!

[Gemmamuk]

Showed you that he is capable so he will be capable of doing it again

 

[Claireyb1]

Here's hoping it starts to happen more often! Now I think it's high time Lucy follows his lead!!! Lol
Xxx

 

[MrsHedgehog]

That's really great Kosh. Hopefully the STTN nights will become more and more frequent until they become the norm. We're still totally mixed. Some nights she'll sleep more or less all night, other nights she's up more.

 

[supertabby]

Can I join in? Last night my 9 month old didn't go to sleep properly until 6am after thrashing about all night, it was his worst night yet but his average nights are between about 5 and 20 wakings. He's getting steadily worse and even cosleeping isn't doing the trick anymore.

Tonight's not faring well either, it's 1am here and he's been up a few times already but my 3yo DD who normally sttn has also been up too. Tonight I've laid in 3 different beds - my and hubby's bed, the bed in DS room and the spare bed with DD. I've slept in none!

 

[Groovychick]

My son has just turned 3 and I am still BF although attempting to wean gradually. He starts off in his cot but after about 2-3 hours wants to come into bed with me. He feeds 3-4 times during the night and every hour or so during the day. Not sure where to go from here.

 

[Claireyb1]

Groovy chick my daughter is 3.5yrs and still has boob at night and maybe once in the day.
I can't ever see her self weaning!
She has never Sttn to this day zzzzzzzzzz

 

[krissie328]

Hey ladies- Mind if I join? DS is 13.5 months old. And while he does sleep better than a lot of these babies it is still very rough. A few months ago he started sleeping and waking only twice a night. But like every other time we make progress with sleep he got sick and screwed it all up. Then the past two weeks he has been up a minimum of 4 times a night. While I do think it is tied to me going back to work after having 7 weeks off he was a crap sleeper before.

Like I said I just came back to work and I can barely function today! He was up 3 times between 9:30-2:30. At that point my husband came home from work and watched him until I woke up. But I heard him crying once at 5. I am so exhausted and out of ideas. I have tried feeding him more during the day thinking he was hungry but that hasn't helped.

 

[ellina]

Yep, I feel your pain! Our first year was brutal for sleeping. His record was 20 wakings in one night, at which point we hired a sleep expert who helped us get down to 10 or so wakings. Little guy still never learned how to put himself back to sleep though.

I remember when we were in the worst of it, I was nearly obsessed with sleep. There's a reason they use sleep deprivation as a torture technique! Now that he's 14 months we're down to about 4 or 5 wakings per night, which is like paradise compared to 6 months ago. Still though, some nights it takes ages to get him back to sleep whenever he wakes, then the next day is a total write-off at work. The funny thing is - and I knew this would happen - now that he's sleeping a little better, there's a teeeeny part of me that is sad about my baby not needing me as much. Seriously.... send help.

 

[kosh]

hi ladies! sorry this thread has been very quiet and I didn't realise you'd posted.

how are things?
xx

 

[ellina]

I'm afraid to say anything and jinx it... but LO has been sleeping great. Only up about 4 times per night this week, and only 2 or 3 of those wakings are after I go to bed. Seriously, amazing. I wish I'd found this thread 8 months ago. I had a LOT of venting to do at that point!

Does your little one sleep now?

I guess this thread isn't too active, but I would love to hear stories about people who had more babies after having an exceptionally bad sleeper, and how those subsequent babies were for sleeping. I'm sure it's a fear of any mom with a full-time sleep stealer. Personally, I'm totally ready to be pregnant again, but hoping so hard that baby #2 is at least an average sleeper!

 

[ellina]

Yeah, I shouldn't have said anything. He's only been in bed for two and a half hours and has already woken 3 times

 

[kosh]

hi ellina
sorry it took a while to reply, I've only just seen this. i've set up the thread notification again so I should know if/when you post!

I too wonder that, but I have only one and I do not think I'll have a second I'd love another one, but I'm getting too old now, plus I really really do not know if I could go through that again. Tbh, I do not kwow how I coped
But I think at least 2 of the ladies in this thread have a second baby now. I haven't heard from mrshedgehog in a while but I think lisa90 is around BnB.

Yes, mine sleeps now but you have to remember that he is 3 1/2! He started to STTN consistently a month after his 3rd birthday.

happy to chat

 

[ellina]

Thank you for replying! It's been a rough week

He's been waking every hour or two all night, and most nights he'll have a stretch of a couple hours where he's either totally awake, or waking every 20 minutes. Molars maybe? Too hot? Too cold? Worrying about the migrant crisis?

I'm keen to get pregnant again as soon as I can, since I'm nearing my mid-30s and want to at least keep the door open for 1 or 2 (or even 3) more babies. Of course, I'm assuming all of my future babies will STTN like little angels from 8 weeks old. My husband and I joke that lightning couldn't possibly strike twice.

Is your son especially alert and active? I wonder if that's a characteristic you find more often in non-sleepers. My son has never been a relaxed baby. He would never stay in a bouncer seat or a swing when he was little, for instance. He always had to be on the move, and cried a lot until pretty much the day he learned to crawl. He has a wonderful, happy disposition now, but any time we've had playdates, he's literally run circles around the other kids.

 

[kosh]

big I remember those days......
the 'middle of the night' parties are just the worst. mine had loads of those too. I think I never tried to understand what was it that woke him so much and kept him awake at night.

do you co-sleep?

yes, my son is/was very alert, and like your yours he was never a relaxed baby. he would never just fall asleep, you always had to get him to sleep somehow.

how old is yours? did he ever have a good patch, or was he always a bad sleeper?

it will get better
xx

 

[ellina]

We do co-sleep. I love it, but even if I didn't, there's NO way we'd be able to get little one from arms to crib without him waking up. On many occasions I've had a laugh about this idea of putting him down "drowsy but awake".

He's 15 months now, and never really had a good patch. We did have a good week around 12 months and again at 14 months where he was only waking about 4 times per night. So we are moving in the right direction, in general, but it does feel like we're always taking one step forward and two steps back.

I know that all of us moms of sleep stealers are so grateful for our healthy babies, whether they sleep or not. But the fact is, this level of sleep deprivation affects every aspect of your life. Did you have issues returning to work? I know that some days I've had a really hard time just focusing and thinking clearly. I used to go running every day but now I'm lucky to get out once every 3 weeks. I'm so tired, all the time, and even though I've gotten used to it and cope with it fine emotionally, on especially bad days I often feel like I just take the path of least resistance to get through the day.

 

[kosh]

oh yes, 'drowsy but awake'
do you rock/nurse him to sleep?

it's funny, for those of us with really bad sleepers 4 wakes per night is actually a good night!

yes, going back to work was very difficult. I was very lucky in that my boss was extremely understanding and very relaxed, but still I was constantly tired. I stopped doing everything

things started to improve very very slowly after his second birthday I think. He STTN for the first time in his life at 27 months, but then not again for months. I have them all recorded in a diary.

can I share something unrelated? I am going on a work trip this weekend and we'll be leaving him for the first time. I do not like it and I am very anxious

 

[ellina]

Haha, did you have a party after he STTN for the first time?? I feel like I would. And did you sleep through as well? On some of our good nights, I've found myself waking out of habit, even when he was still asleep!

I totally empathize with you on the separation anxiety . I guess you're on your work trip now, right? I hope it goes well. I bet you'll have the most wonderful reunion when you return . I've only been away from little one for a few hours at a time. Next spring I'll have to do a couple full days away from him for work, and I'm already anxious about it.

Oh, and yes, we rock and nurse to sleep every night. It's probably the worst thing I could do for his sleeping, but we're in survival mode! Lately I've been taking baby steps though. Such as, whereas I usually walk and nurse him totally to sleep, lately I've been trying to nurse him lying down from fairly awake to asleep, if that makes sense. Sometimes it works, sometimes he just gets energized when I lie him down. I've also been encouraging him to lie down next to me on his own when he wakes in the night, since he normally just sits up and waits for me to lie him down. Even that little change has been met with a lot of resistance! Little man just really doesn't understand how to do anything sleep-related on his own.

 

[Mrsb3]

Ladies, please help me- my daughter is almost 17 months and wakes up 6-8 times every night. She constantly seems to be in a light phase of sleep, it's really weird. I have watched her sleep before when I had insomnia and she looks so unrelaxed and jumpy at any unexpected quiet sound like a dog barking in the very distance or very light clicking sound of the radiators coming on and she immediately wakes up. If I try get up in the morning before she does she hears me tip toeing around and she just wakes up screaming. Would love to be up and showered before kids wake up at 7. When she wakes 6-8 times a night sometimes she just sits up screaming??? Or she climbs all over me either to get my boob or just to snuggle up and have a little cry. She does know how to put herself to sleep as she does this in the buggy and car seat even if it's stationary. Does this sound familiar anyone??

 

[AngelUK]

Mine blissfully sleep through but have you tried white noise? Might drown out some of the lighter noises. We have white noise on for the boys all night and it means we do not have to tiptoe around the flat. I really feel for you. That first year with my boys (especially one of them) was a hellish no sleep torture. In the end we did a version of CIO in as much as we no longer picked him up and rocked him but just sat by him quietly, shushing occasionally. It took 3 nights and since then he slept through 99% of the time. But I gather you co sleep and BF still. We did neither. (No room with twins in our room and I never managed to get them latched)
Good luck!

 

[ellina]

18 month sleep regression... whyyyyyyyy? We finally had him down to 5ish wakings per night, but for the past 2 weeks it's been an utter nightmare again.
It takes ages (not to mention every trick in my book) to get him to sleep at night, and he'll stay down maybe 30 minutes. Then once I get him back to sleep he's often up again within 15 minutes. By midnight we're usually up to 4 wakings.

This is so exhausting.