I've got my anti-witch spray!

[wishnhoping]

Oh and DS wont accept anything but a girl...hes determiend hes meant to have a sister...lol I keep telling him I dont get to choose becasue God is the one that makes those decisions...hes not having it.

I told him I was going to call the baby 'jellybean' until I knew if its a boy or girl and he said "No! We have to call it Bellybean"...lol so bellybean it is

Our 1st trimester ends on our 1 year wedding anniversary. So that is when we will announce on FB...althoug most of our family and close friends already know.

 

[linz143]

OMG Wishin your son is adorable!!! Bellybean, hah!

 

[wishnhoping]

I know Im such a lucky mommy already! How could I possibly not want one more

Hes such a momma's boy and he is so loving towards me..It melted my heart that he was so worried...although I am afraid hes going to hate the baby for making me "sick" so I am trying to not look ill around him but yesterday was pretty brutal...lol

 

[LittleSpy]

Aw, Cris. Your son is so sweet (haha! )!

I want a mama's boy! Actually, I'm really torn about whether I want a boy or girl so apparently I don't really care this time. Hubby told me last night he would love another girl (though of course he'd be thrilled with a boy, too). I can't freaking believe it! Maisie has him so wrapped around her little finger it's not even funny. He's totally in love with her. So adorable.

I just have no idea what we'd name another girl. We used the only 2 names we really liked on Maisie. And, I mean, we agonized over it for months.

 

[wishnhoping]

lol I remember you asking on MFP for votes...I voted for Maisie C.

DH and I are horrible at picking names. I have an uncommon name and hate it and he has a common name and hates it. So I want something that people will know how to pronounce and spell while he wants something "unique" and spelled weird..which seems to be the trend anyways.

When I was pregnant with DS we said if it was a boy he would be a junior but as soon as the doctor told us it was aboy him being a junior wasnt even considered...not sure what happened there. We still have a girls name picked out since we didnt get to use it...I still love it so Im hoping if its a girl DH will go for it still

So far only my step son and I are on team blue...everyone else wants me to have or thinks we are having a girl. I think DH will be totally wrapped around her fingers if that was the case too....

 

[LittleSpy]

Yeah, so far, Maisie's name is going well.

I've had a couple nurses call her "May-see" but most everyone else has gotten it right. For any UK folks -- I know it's really popular in the UK lately, but it's almost unheard of in the US right now.

I've even gotten several "Ooooohhhh, yeah... My great aunt/grandmother's name was Mazie/Maisie" types of responses. It turns out my best friend actually has a great aunt who was named Mazie. I'm happy that it's recognizable (for the most part) but still unique enough. That's what I was hoping for. Of course she's going to be called "Lazy Maisie" and "Crazy Maisie" but kids poke fun at everyone in some way, I think.

If Maisie gets a sister, she's likely to be named "Olive" or "Violet" or some awful name like that because those are about the only girl names left that I like!

 

[wishnhoping]

Olivia is one of my choices...kinda close to Olive...lol

The big thing when we named DS was that his initials are B.J.....so we are worried about that a bit

 

[nats77]

I'm now a part of face book ladies, so if any of you would like to add me my name is Nat anddave x x

 

[linz143]

I love the names Olivia and Violet! One of my friends named her daughter Violetta which is pretty and unique (however, I'm not a fan of 4 syllable names just because you are guaranteed a nick name).

Nats - I added you!!

I'd like to just vent for a second though... Something DH and I and his family have been dealing with for awhile and I keep hoping it will get better, but it just keeps getting worse... Sorry in advance if this is long, but I can't vent to DH since he's dealing with the brunt of it...

Originally our child care plan had been that DH would stay home 3 days a week and his mother (who was on the verge of retiring when I got pregnant) would watch the LO for 2 days a week. I like my MIL but she can be a little bit of a worry wart and always concerned about what other people think (me, not so much). She soon quit her job because she said everyone at her work was "out to get her" and harassing her. We didn't think much of it and told her that if it was causing her this much stress that she should just retire now rather than in a few months (so she did).

That's when things started getting weird. She was convinced that someone was spying on her. She decided that the Mexican drug cartel had planted drugs on her property and searched everywhere trying to find them. She thinks someone has tapped her phone line. She started putting a chair under the knob of every external door to the house incase someone tried to break in at night. She put a password on her computer because she was convinced someone was breaking into the house during the day and hacking her computer. She changed her email and cell phone number 3 times each because "someone was hacking/tapping" them. She stopped taking the pills her psychiatrist prescribed because she says they will become addictive and she doesn't want that. It progressed to the point where DH and his dad had to bring her with them to job sites because she couldn't be left alone and then she'd wander the room they were painting staring at the fire extinguisher saying it looked like a microphone and that they were being recorded.

FIL finally broke down and had her committed to a psychiatric ward on a 72 hour hold. They diagnosed her with schizophrenia with paranoid delusions. She was given new medications and a plan to go to group and individual therapy. Everyone was happy and we all thought this was the beginning to her recovery.

Needless to say the plan for her to watch LO is OFF. DH will stay home full time come January.

Fast forward to this last week, MIL has once again been having more bad days than good days. FIL has been missing work again because he can't leave her home alone (and when FIL doesn't work, neither does DH - since DH works for FIL). Today she had a particularly bad episode (she's decided to not take her meds again) and DH had to leave work to go make sure someone was with her. DH texted me and said this may be a common occurrence where he will have to watch her instead of work, to which I replied that we aren't ready for him to go without an income yet. He said his plan is to ask his dad to pay him for half time and he'll watch his mom. I told him that's fine and I won't argue with him, but I just feel at a loss, like it's never going to get better. On top of all this, MIL is decorating DH's old room into a nursery and stocking up on baby clothes for when Quinn comes over to be baby sat. I'm just at a loss. My mom tells me to just let her decorate and buy what she wants as it's a distraction from her illness, but me being a realist, I don't want to encourage her when there is NO WAY I am leaving my baby with her alone. Any thoughts? Sorry this is a massive post...

 

[LittleSpy]

Linz -- I'm sorry. Could MIL go to adult day care? She probably wouldn't go for that, thouh, huh.

I don't want to say we had a similar thing happen with my MIL but, in a way, we did.

The VERY short version is that there was a huge amount of drama surrounding her move to our city. She totally ruined our holidays. Then she never got her own apartment, which was the original plan, and lived, without even asking me if it was okay, on our couch for 2 months. We did question her competency the whole time she was caring for Maisie. I was very uncomfortable with it, honestly. She was hugely defensive every time we made any suggestions (you know... on how we wanted her to care for OUR baby). She and dh argued constantly. It was awful the whole time. But the cherry on top was that she decided she couldn't handle taking care of Maisie like 2-3 hours a day during the week when hubby was in class (he had several evening classes so I was home to take care of her like 30 minutes after he left for class). My husband had to DROP OUT OF SCHOOL (after he had already paid over $4,000 for the semester!!!!!!!!!!!!!). Then after she moved out of my house, she kept dropping by, almost weekly, sometimes totally unannounced. The last time was a month ago and I couldn't help but act like the biggest b**** ever to her. When I pulled up to my house and saw her car in my driveway, I wanted to turn around and go somewhere else. If not for looking so forward to hanging out with Maisie every evening, I would have. I can't even stand seeing her face anymore and I don't think my mind will ever change.

Oh, and also, the first night she spent on our couch, her cat pissed on it. Did she offer to pay for it? Um, no. To this day (like 8 months later), I still smell cat piss every time I sit down on the couch even though I've cleaned it like 40 times. Did she offer to contribute to the bills or mortgage while she lived with us? Um... no. ugh.

 

[linz143]

Yikes! I can definitely see why you can't stand her! I would hate MIL too if she were like that! Unfortunately I just feel bad for my MIL since she's obviously dealing with a major mental illness and not even in control of her own thoughts ATM.

And yeah, 1) she'd never go for adult daycare since she hasn't even made one of her individual or group therapy session since being released from the psychiatric ward, and 2) FIL and MIL live paycheck to paycheck (they didn't ever save for retirement) so it's her small pension (thank god she had a gov't job) and whatever FIL can bring in with the construction/contracting small business he has.

Side note: my grandmother has been dealing with dementia for YEARS so I know how much adult care can cost and it's anywhere from $50-$100 per hour depending on whether the caregiver can come to you or vice versa. Either way, the cheapest cost of it would be more than they take in for the entire month in income.

 

[leia37]

Linz - big hugs hon. it all sounds very stressful and sad. Obviously she cant babysit on her own now. Does she have any lucid moments when you can talk to her and explain properly? she may forget other times but at least you'll feel like she understands on some level. Is she ever aware of her problem (that must be scary). I can understand that you dont want to encourage the nursery decorating and clothes buying, maybe you can allow her to continue but say that that will be lovely for when you all come to stay together. What does your FIL suggest? Must be so hard for him too. Hugs again xx

 

[linz143]

Thanks, Leia. She does have some lucid moments, but only when she's been consistently taking her pills. When she goes off of them she pretends like she's still taking them and spits them out when FIL is not looking, so it's hard to tell whether she's going to have a good day or a bad day until she starts rambling on about people watching/recording her. We do constantly remind her that the pills make her better, and it's the illness making her feel like she is feeling but 30 seconds later she'll ask the same questions again like you never answered them the first 3 times.

FIL is distraught and trying to be the best husband he can be, by trying to distract her from her paranoid thoughts, but when he goes to work she'll have an episode and then call him continually until someone comes home to calm her down.

Good call on suggesting that it'll be nice when we all come over for a visit. She used to ask if we were still going to let her baby sit and our response has always been, "So long as you are taking your pills every day it shouldn't be a problem." So I think that goes along well with what you suggested.

It's just a very stressful and sad situation all around and most of all, I feel bad for DH and FIL. I can't imagine if I had to watch my mom mentally deteriorate before she even hit 60 and not know what I could possibly do to help her.

 

[wishnhoping]

Linz- I'm so sorry...that's both scary and sad. I
Not sure what I'd do either but Leias suggestion is a very good one. Have you spoken to the doctors? Maybe they can suggest the best approach.

Good luck and big hugs!

 

[nats77]

I'm useless with advice, just wanted to say sorry u and ur family have got to go thru this must be so so hard x x x

 

[giraffes]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I go away for a few days and there is AMAZING AMAZING news when I turn on my computer! Nats I am so so so so so so happy for you, I know how tricky this road has been for you, and I'm so glad you're finally there.

Lilspy - congratulations! Glad joining our club proved a lucky move!

Linz - LOVE the first page

Everyone else - sorry if I've missed your news, there have been a million posts in my absence!!

 

[nats77]

Thanks giraffes, that means so much! I still can't quite believe it. I even did another test this morning just to make sure! That's four to date lol. I am pleased to say pregnancy line came up before test line this am though so I am confident my little bean is growing well, just hope and pray all stays well.

Would just like to say again a huge massive thank you to all of you! I couldn't of got through this last year without you! X x x x

 

[LittleSpy]

Nats -- lol, you've only done 4 tests?

Today's AF day for me (according to my usual 12 day LP). I'll feel a lot better after 16dpo since I had that crazy 15 day LP last cycle. I don't remember worrying this much with dd. I haven't told anyone IRL other than hubby and my friend at work (and the letter's in the mail to bff). Probably because I didn't get a positive test with Maisie until the day I expected AF; so, by the next day, I had already missed the .

 

[nats77]

Well I said I wasn't going to tell anyone till 12 weeks but actually just about everyone knows now. We're just so rubbish at keeping secrets! Lol ooops! X x x

And I've still for one more digi which I'm waiting till next week just so I can see hcg still rising by it telling me I'm another week along lol x x x

 

[giraffes]

Nats - I've been bouncing around all morning, can't stop thinking about your great news