Wishn - There were some months back when DH and I were fighting and going through some stuff. Finally I told him that with the way he was acting, and the instability of our relationship that I didn't want to ttc anymore and that we would be putting it off until I could see that everything was going to be ok for us. DH did not like that and I think that was part of what got him getting his act together. He knew that if he wanted to ever have kids he needed to work through his problems and bring some stability to our relationship.
Of course every relationship is different. Most guys are so relaxed about ttc, that they don't care if it's now or 2 years from now. Luckily my DH is having baby cravings, so he's not willing to wait. I do believe that being upfront and honest about it is the best way though. Sometimes it takes a few days or a week or even a month for what you said to sink in and for him to make changes. For my DH and myself it took months of constantly talking, arguing, having bad moments, good ones, and then finally him getting a DUI to work out the kinks. Since then it's been smooth sailing and all that lovey dovey crap. But in the meantime, it really did take some brutal honesty between the two of us to identify the problem and have each person work on their part. Don't be afraid to tell him just like you did how he is affecting you. It will be a good thing in the long run. Also, you probably know how quickly things can turn around once they have a change of attitude. I'll keep my fingers crossed that his is a swift one.
Hang in there darling.
