I've really had enough of my mil

[csmummu]

Get MIL a nice Grandma frame or something then its more likely to stay in the house too

your MIL gets under my skin and i think shes way off the mark "not settling for anything less than an original" i defently woulld have given her the tough shit line. that or nothing!

With her own framed picture/s (if copies she can have all 3!!) it looks like your giving her everything you have so shes not left out just to try and keep the peace. be the bigger person and put her in her place nicely!

Where i am you get 3 pictures too. but saying that i still wanted all the pictures i was given for my self. my baby my pics! your not being unreasonable at all xxxx

 

[Tilly]

Start as you mean to go on - don't take any shit from her.

I feel for you, she sounds like someone I know... *whistles*
Making copies is the best idea - no one got our original scan pics.

 

[Sarah88]

If I were you I would go buy my own stuff and not use any of hers, lol. I do that with my MIL, she bought bottles even though she knew I was breastfeeding. But we ended up buying our own so I can get away every once in a while and she's always buying ugly clothes and crap for her.
i feel fo you hun, I would just ignore her and not give her the time of day if you can.

 

[Novbaby08]

I think its incredibly sweet shes so excited about being a grandma I scanned all my ultrasound pics on my computer and printed out large copies of them for my mom. Grandmas are like that. Its your baby's first picture

 

[countessbump]

yes it is 'sweet' that the MIL is excited but she is completely disregarding her DIL's thoughts and feelings about everything and if my MIL did that to me I would be very upset as well.

I think I would write her a letter explaining that while you are happy she is excited about the baby, you will be doing things your own way and unless you ask her for advice you don't want any, and if she continues to buy things you have decided you dont' want, that they will be going back to the store or given away, and that with the scans etc. it is up to you who gets to look at them and not her. Let you her know, nicely, that you are the ones making decisions about this pregnancy and this baby, not her.

I haven't seen any of your other threads (I think) and if I lived anywhere near my mother, this would be almost exactly what she would be doing, and a sledgehammer would be the only thing to make her stop. I've already threatened to hang up on her if she didnt' stop being so negative with horror stories about labour etc!

give her copies of the scan pics!

 

[JayleighAnn]

Hmm she just sounds really, really excited!! Maybe annoying too though ..

PS you are lucky, we have to pay $3 per picture at my hospital!! Exact change only, and they get annoyed when you ask for more than one or make you feel cheap.. (I've asked for 5 with $15) as they use the $$ as 'donations' for their continuing education program.. argh.

$3 per picture? we paid £3 for 3

Oh scanned the pictures last night and we're giving all 3 of them to her today when we go to this karate xmas dinner

We had a phone call from FIL last night asking why we have decided not to show our scan pictures at the karate dinner, so OH (yes oh!! he actually stuck up for me and agreed with me) told him that we don't feel that it is their business to see our photos as these people were not nice when they were told about our pregnancy (one said "well it was obviouse she'd get pregnant wasnt it?" and "well that baby is a waste of life")

 

[lulu0504]

think you need to see it from her point of view, my MIL was acting similarly to yours when i first found out i was pregnant, always buying stuff and telling me her opinions but i realised that it was down to excitement at the prospect of a new grandchild. She was quite disappointed that she couldn't be involved with my labour and came to see me at the hospital during my induction and snook me a huuuuge amount of food in (lots of crunchy nuts and ice cold milk! mmm) so turned out to be an absolute gem. She still fusses over lilia and tries to tell me how to do certain things but i now think its cute.

She obviously is very proud of her new grandchild's first picture and wants to show it off to anyone who will listen! My mum and my MIL were exactly the same, my MIL has her own original copy on the kitchen wall in a special frame and i only got 3. Just indulge her a bit!

 

[honey08]

MIL eh....who'd av em mines just joined bloody facebook !!! theres 3 goodmates on there ive told bout pg, my god hope they dont slip up

 

[JayleighAnn]

think you need to see it from her point of view, my MIL was acting similarly to yours when i first found out i was pregnant, always buying stuff and telling me her opinions but i realised that it was down to excitement at the prospect of a new grandchild. She was quite disappointed that she couldn't be involved with my labour and came to see me at the hospital during my induction and snook me a huuuuge amount of food in (lots of crunchy nuts and ice cold milk! mmm) so turned out to be an absolute gem. She still fusses over lilia and tries to tell me how to do certain things but i now think its cute.

She obviously is very proud of her new grandchild's first picture and wants to show it off to anyone who will listen! My mum and my MIL were exactly the same, my MIL has her own original copy on the kitchen wall in a special frame and i only got 3. Just indulge her a bit!

I do understand she's excited, and I am glad, but to refuse to give me back my picture to show my own mum as she hadn't shown her friends at work?

I just think she could show her excitement in a better way, not by denying my mum a look at a scan picture

 

[hypnorm]

If I were you I would go buy my own stuff and not use any of hers,
she's always buying ugly clothes and crap for her.
I would just ignore her and not give her the time of day if you can.

You know there are some very ungreatful people out there! Post like these make me quite annoyed.
If this is her only son then she has a right to be excited. If she wasnt interested and wasnt buying you anything then you'd probably be moaning about that too.

Just be glad that you have family who are interested, some people would be glad of that.
My great grandparents buy Ewan some really cheap and nasty stuff, i make sure that they see him in it at least once or twice, and then it goes into storage, clothes they grow out of pretty quickly anyway, and any items she has bought you could use as spares at her house.
That way you are not hurting her feelings or causing a rift.

Are you sure she wasnt joking when she said 'nothing but an actual scan pic will do' I'm sure she will loose interest in the scan pic once she has real pictures of the baby.

Just chill and try and enjoy things, life is too short to be wingeing and moaning!

 

[JayleighAnn]

If I were you I would go buy my own stuff and not use any of hers,
she's always buying ugly clothes and crap for her.
I would just ignore her and not give her the time of day if you can.

You know there are some very ungreatful people out there! Post like these make me quite annoyed.
If this is her only son then she has a right to be excited. If she wasnt interested and wasnt buying you anything then you'd probably be moaning about that too.

Just be glad that you have family who are interested, some people would be glad of that.
My great grandparents buy Ewan some really cheap and nasty stuff, i make sure that they see him in it at least once or twice, and then it goes into storage, clothes they grow out of pretty quickly anyway, and any items she has bought you could use as spares at her house.
That way you are not hurting her feelings or causing a rift.

Are you sure she wasnt joking when she said 'nothing but an actual scan pic will do' I'm sure she will loose interest in the scan pic once she has real pictures of the baby.

Just chill and try and enjoy things, life is too short to be wingeing and moaning!

No she wasnt joking about it

 

[honey08]

dyknow wot ive just thought !!!! why not get OH to say to mil, instead of buying things we might av2of, or not even need, why not just put money in an account and give u it when baby born !!!!

the frame...fab idea !

 

[JayleighAnn]

dyknow wot ive just thought !!!! why not get OH to say to mil, instead of buying things we might av2of, or not even need, why not just put money in an account and give u it when baby born !!!!

the frame...fab idea !

That is a fab idea babe thank you

I do like the frame idea, but she's already bought a gold frame to put the picture up on the fire place

 

[Nutmeg]

We don't get 12 wk scan pictures here!

 

[soup]

we have to pay £5 per picture here and if you get more than one they are all identical, and you have to pay for them in pound coins we got 2 so had to have 10 pound coins. we were going to get 3 actually so that my mil could have one but didn't have enough money! so inlaws have a copy and my folks have an original, but in laws don't know that oops

 

[mrscookie]

You still have two? Most people I know only got one.

You can choose to pay for as many as you like as far as I am aware, where I live it is the case. We had 5.

 

[Serene123]

Of your 12wk scan? I could have loads of the 20, but not the 12?

 

[mrscookie]

For some reason I never got a scan at 12 weeks.. my '12 week scan'' happend at 9 weeks and 3 days, but was still classed as a 12 week scan according to my midwife Im not high risk or anything I just got an early first scan, strange eh?

 

[Nikkinoonoo]

I got 6 pictures of my 12 week scan, as long as I paid £3 each they didn't seem to care how many I asked for.

 

[Serene123]

Oh right.

JayleighAnn, you have another scan right? That's the best one!