I've really had enough of my mil

[JayleighAnn]

My MIL was a bit like this at the beginning. Once I told her my name choice you should of heard the things she said about it. Including "well we are going to call her grace" She even referred to her as 'ours'... hmmm... I think Grandparents get a bit carried away sometimes and cant control themselves. You kind of just have to let it go instead of just stressing about every little niggly thing they do because you could really wind yourself up and dont forget your going to have to deal with this woman for the next 20 odd years! Mines alright now and I really appreciate the stuff they buy for us because we really cant afford to get everything ourselves. Maybe she will calm down in a few weeks once she gets used to the idea.

I hope it does get better, I'm just really struggling to ignore the little things, I suppose because of hormones, as normally I just don't really listen, therefore I don't get annoyed.

I'd appreciate the stuff she bought if she didn't buy the opposite of what we said.

We said we were going to use cold water tablets, she goes out and buys a steam sterilizer.

we say I'm breast feeding, she goes and buys bottles.

We say we're planning on co-sleeping, she goes online and looks at cotbeds.

She has in all honesty bought us some nice stuff as well, she bought some cute bootees, and some sleepsuits and blankets, which we are so grateful for.

 

[LaDY]

You know what hun...only you know your MIL and her intentions...sometime when you know someone personally and their behaviour, then only you can judge weather she is a excited grandma to be or just a annoying and interfering MIL...

I had a similar problem however i was lucky to be able to speak to my OH about it...(plus it wasn't my MIL...shes lovely...

Goodluck hun...hope you sort things out soon xxxx

 

[littlemansmum]

I really hope this gets sorted for you honey, i can totally see where you are coming from, and i think that only you know all the facts of what has gone on since you told her and therefore only you truly know how bad it is, but i will say this, having had probs with my own MIL, if it feels like she is treading on your toes, then sort it out, cos you don't want it to get worse further down the line, mine did and it didn't end happily. Trust yourself and don't let anyone spoil your pregnancy for you, each bay you have will be special, but don't let anyone spoil a minute of any of them for you, cherish this time. Hope it all works out well for you, hugs to you chick xxx

 

[countessbump]

i agree with iittlemansmum, i know exactly how you feel, except it's my mother not my MIL. No one really believes me when i tell them about isolated incidents and say that it's no big deal, yet when i start to tell them a few more stories, they begin to understand why the 'little things' upset/frustrate/irritate me. There is a very good reason I moved 8,000 miles away from her!

 

[Hevz]

i agree with iittlemansmum, i know exactly how you feel, except it's my mother not my MIL. No one really believes me when i tell them about isolated incidents and say that it's no big deal, yet when i start to tell them a few more stories, they begin to understand why the 'little things' upset/frustrate/irritate me. There is a very good reason I moved 8,000 miles away from her!

I'm the same but only half an hour away in the car....luckily she doesn't drive so hardly comes over.

Sometimes these Mum's and MIL's are very "sneaky" the way they upset us I think. Both my Mum and MIL only say or do certain things when nobody else is around....that really winds me up

 

[JayleighAnn]

I think thats the problem, when I'm asking for (not just on here, with my OH as well) they don't seem to think it's that bad, I suppose because it's not happening to them and they don't feel how I feel, it's hard to understand how it does make me feel.

My own mum didn't seem too interested at first, I think she was very cautious before my first scan, so I leaned a bit more towards my mil, who suggested a termination and is now seeming to over compensate for it by being far too involved. I now wish I'd just bloody kept to myself...would of made life a far more happier.

The only person who does agree with me 100% is my MIL's neice, I told her absolutely everything and she agreed I need to speak to MIL (I'm really not good at things like that though so I'm nervous about it tbh) or at least get OH to speak to MIL about it as it needs to stop, and now, otherwise it'll just get worse (she has a worse MIL than me, so she knows what she's talking about)

 

[sparkswillfly]

Just wait till she turns up at the hospital when your giving birth and tells you your doing that wrong! From now on I would just keep everything to yourself - ie name choices and stuff. You could even keep the gender to yourself if you wanted - say they couldnt see at the scan.

We arent telling anyone when I go into labour. Prob go into hiding for a week so they dont camp out at the hospital.

 

[Shifter]

Just wait till she turns up at the hospital when your giving birth and tells you your doing that wrong! From now on I would just keep everything to yourself - ie name choices and stuff. You could even keep the gender to yourself if you wanted - say they couldnt see at the scan.

We arent telling anyone when I go into labour. Prob go into hiding for a week so they dont camp out at the hospital.

LOL! Good idea.

 

[Hevz]

Just wait till she turns up at the hospital when your giving birth and tells you your doing that wrong! From now on I would just keep everything to yourself - ie name choices and stuff. You could even keep the gender to yourself if you wanted - say they couldnt see at the scan.

We arent telling anyone when I go into labour. Prob go into hiding for a week so they dont camp out at the hospital.

LOL! Good idea.

I think that's the best idea too


My Mum and Dad turned up once when I was in labour even though they were expressly told not to............I can't tell you how bloody annoyed I was as they sat there while I was huffing on gas and air. Kicked them out in the end but I wasn't in a position to start telling them to p!$$ off at the time

 

[JayleighAnn]

turning up at the hospital....I'm having a home birth so there is no getting away lol

We're not telling anyone the sex, and I've stopped telling her everything about 4 weeks ago as I just don't wanna hear her telling me I'm doing things wrong because it isnt her way.

She asked me about our names, and I did mention that we'd thought about Eva for girl and Halen for a boy (we have decided on them but shh lol) and she pulled a face and went "oh right ok"

OH mentioned it about a week later and she goes "oh darling how lovely" and babbled on about how nice and cute they were

 

[dizzy duck]

I totally understand where you are coming from with everything she has done but you did say you gave her the crappy one and had two others to show your mum till you got it back. I think it was wrong for her to expect to keep it though. As soon as we had our 12 week scan I emailed the best photo to all family on both sides and for Christmas we have enlarged and printed out the best for both my mum and MIL, they were over the moon with emails and both printed them out to show people. My MIL has been pain recently with names etc and now we just aren't going to mention anything to her so she can't be negative. She is just excited and understandably but should take your feelings into account. I know it was the not giving it back to you that got to you but you did have 3 pictures. we had to pay 5 pounds for each photo. Just remember that after the 20 week scan make copies and give her one of those so this doesn't happen . Hope you have a great Christmas. Take care XX

 

[massacubano]

Awe hugs! My MIL is in Cuba so she is far away and can not mettle at all. But, My Mom sure gets her two cents in!

 

[Sarah88]

Love your name choices JA! And hope things get sorted soon, if you don't feel that you can talk to her, get your OH to do it

 

[JayleighAnn]

Love your name choices JA! And hope things get sorted soon, if you don't feel that you can talk to her, get your OH to do it

Thank you, I really really love Halen lol Eva was OH's choice, but I do like it.

I wanted Elizabeth but he told me it was too old fashion Spoil sport lol

 

[ClassicaLover]