January Baby Bears 2017 ~ 48 Momma Bears: 21 Blue, 17 Pink

[slammerkin]

Apple - sorry to hear Ollie has a cold. It's horrible when babies are sick. I hope his rash gets better too. That's great that you got out on a walk. I did the same today. Walked to a nearby playground with DD and Jack. It went fine and was nice to be out.

AliJo - glad you got that 5-hour sleep! What a nice surprise.

Pompey - the farm park sounds nice. We have something like that around here too. It kind of sucks having a baby during the winter since it's more limiting on what days you can get out and about depending on weather.

Literati - I feel your struggle. I wouldn't be up for grating cheese either, lol! I can barely keep myself fed. We were both suffering low blood sugar while pregnant, right? It's even worse now with Bf’ing this boob monster of a baby...out of nowhere I'm starving and shaking with hunger...multiple times a day. I'm sick of eating and scrounging to find something to eat quickly! No way I can get my act together enough to eat properly healthy either...ugh.

Newbie - I hope baby Z gains some weight!

Vrogers - the Ergo is great. I didn't have the insert so I couldn't use it until later on, but loved it once DD grew into it. Someone gave me a Moby before DD was born, but I really couldn't handle it. Too much effort to get set up with. I've been using my Mei Tai a good bit the last few days. So far, and it was the same with DD, Jack has no interest in being in a carrier if he's awake. Putting him to sleep in it is mostly ok, but if he's not sleeping he'll be pissed. Not sure how some some women manage to use wraps/carriers so much. Must have easier-going babies than I do, lol.

AFM - struggling a bit with being on my own in the evenings. Last night I really lost my temper multiple times. Jack's just super pissy if he's tired and wants boob, but is full of milk. Trying to deal with that while doing DD’s bedtime is hard. And then trying to get myself ready for bed with him being awake and again begging for the boob was a shit-show because I didn't want him wailing and waking DD. Just needed five freaking minutes to brush my teeth, wash my face, take out contacts, and put on nightclothes, but couldn't get it.

I'm also joining you all with the crappy noisy squirmy nighttime sleep. So aggravating! Even with him beside me or on my chest he still won't settle down. Also looking forward to when nighttime poops diminish so I don't have to worry about changing as often.

Anyway, had some dark thoughts last night about what a mistake it was to have a second child and how I just don't feel up to this. I know I had a moment earlier on with DD as well feeling that it was a mistake to have her, and of course that all changed, so I'm sure I'll get over this feeling too. It just seems harder now with a second. My patience is so lacking. Sad to say I'd kind of like to fast forward maybe six months to where things would be more settled.

 

[Literati_Love]

Slammer - yep, I was also the one who was very low blood sugar while pregnant! I am strangely the opposite and have had a bit of an easier time with my blood sugars since BFing, but I definitely still have to eat super regularly and I've had a couple bouts of getting way too low blood sugar like you described (while people were over visiting way too long and I needed lunch!) and it was awful! It's so hard to find time to snack (especially healthy snacks) when looking after TWO little ones, so I feel your pain! Hopefully once your body adjusts a bit it'll calm down a bit. I think I just had to eat SOOOOO constantly while pregnant that anything is an improvement!

I was the same with a wrap when dd1 was young. She didn't like it unless she was sleeping, and I also found it such a huge hassle to put on and get her in and she'd end up getting angry being put in. However, later on when she was over 6 months and I got an Ergo, she really liked it even when she was awake, so perhaps Jack will like a carrier later on? But yeah, I don't understand how some people are able to use wraps so much. It is easier to just carry them around while doing things tbh. I haven't tried a wrap with V yet.

I hear you on not getting 5 minutes to get ready for bed! I had to get both kids ready for bed last night (but then woke DH up to actually put dd1 to sleep since all that is required is lying in bed with her), and I had to just let Violet cry in her bassinet while I brushed my teeth and put PJs on. I felt bad and I probably never would have done that with dd1, but I've come to realize a little bit of leaving her for 5 minutes is going to be a necessity at times with two kids. Definitely stressful, though!

I also COMPLETELY agree about the nighttime pooping. I am not at all eager for Violet to grow up, but if these nighttime diapers could end, that would be great, thanks! I am so lazy about them and DH hasn't been helping at all since he's been spending the whole night with dd1 and I basically find getting up to change a diaper complete torture! Once I can just feed in bed it will be so much easier.

I'm sorry you had some dark thoughts yesterday and questioned having a second. I do think with the combination of hormone crashes, sleep deprivation and the stress of adjusting to two, it's probably normal to have a passing thought like that. If you had a thought like that with your dd and then it passed, I'm sure it will be the same with Jack. I have weird thoughts when I'm super tired so just try to get as much sleep as you possibly can and try not to beat yourself up about the odd dark thought. It's such an adjustment, and having 2 is really hard! And you were probably hitting such a sweet spot with dd before ds came along, so it's only normal that bringing a new one into the mix would take some getting used to. Hugs! I also have had an extremely short temper lately whenever I'm alone with both kids, so really not sure how I will cope this week.

 

[AliJo]

Slammer - I seem to have little to no patience a lot when I'm on my own. T has been like Jack at night and it's hard. O is always pushing my buttons at the same time and sometimes wakes T up after I have fought so hard to get him to sleep. Bedtimes are rough.

I'm sorry you had some dark thoughts. I believe it's normal to an extent. I often feel like a horrible mother because everything gets to me. It was definitely easier for me to adjust to one verses two. Although it hasn't made me not want a third.

Lite - I've had to let T cry a few times and I hate it but sometimes you can't help it. He really gets to screaming if I don't respond rather quickly so it's hard on me.

Sorry I'm not reply very well. I'm on my phone.

The 5 hours was nice! T soaked through a little because of it but he wasn't really dirty if I remember right. He's not having near as many dirty diapers as he was. He's starting to have larger movements instead.

I'm planning on looking at a house tomorrow or the next day. It's not big enough in the long run but it's a good starter and on the cheap end. The payments will be less than our rent. It has radiator heat which I hate but I can manage till we update but I'll definitely want covers. I also kind of hate the thought of 2 stories. Stairs scare me with young ones. Thankfully I should be able to not need to go upstairs till bedtime but still.

Okay off to get ready for bed the rest of the way while bothe boys are asleep. I always have to get up and finish something after they're asleep.

 

[Ally2015]

hello ladies! ive not been online so i am sitting catching up now- apologies for the long reply now..

slammer- glad all is healing well.. i think those dark thoughts are so normal. Honestly, i have felt like i cant do it and just wished for my pre pregnancy life back. You are doing an amazing job, looking after a little girl and a newborn baby. With the tiredness and the demands of BFing we are all bound to feel a little down and think things we don't really mean. It will get easier and in the crazy cloud of tiredness, we probably don't really look after ourselves as well as we should. Try to find 15 mins even a day where it is just you and you can just relax- a hot shower or something. sending you hugs!

lit- sorry about the arguement with your dh, especially over grated cheese. I think the tiredness gets to both partners and its easy to get irrirated and annoyed easily. And men... he chose to play games instead of nap, so he paid the price. How is you day going with dh at work? you will be fine and do so well!

apple- sorry to hear about ollies cold! hope he is feeling better soon. Its great you got out for a walk, it really does help!

ali- amazing you got baby to sleep 5 hours, wow! Are you doing anything today for your dg's birthday? hope house viewin goes well

pomp- how is it going with your husband going to work? the noises at night sounds like isa also, and he does have wind. If you have a crib etc maybe elevate the mattress slightly so it's angled and tha way he isn't lying straight on his back. We do it for isa but still doesn't really work. i think he is just a windy baby and it'll pass at some point so just managing it for now.
12 oz is amazing, go you!

newbie0 hope baby z picks up weight gain but don;t worry- all babies grow at their own rates and maybe once he starts solids he will pick up more. if you pump after a feed will that help you increase your supply?

AFM- so sunday we got Isa circumcised. I wanted to do it much sooner, but as he had jaundice at first and then some feeding issues i waited till he was doing better. The whole thing went as well as it could have, but obviously needs some healing time. He has calpol every 6 hours to keep the pain away but he;s doing so well and not cried much. I think the calpol makes him sleepy though and he hasn;t eaten as much- my boobs just feel full of milk. Hopefully he'll just be like that for a day or so.

another thing i wanted to ask- so my pp bleeding finished like 3 weeks ago, ive had nothing since. I felt completely fine so dh and i have dtd a few times in the last couple of weeks. Last night randomly had lots of brown discharge. I am confused as to whether its a period or just random pp bleeding or an infection. i was not expecting a period till after i stopped bf'ing. Anyone experienced anything similar before? i dont have any other symptoms, i just feel a little achiness in my womb but not cramp or anything. I also have a sore head, and i used to get bad headaches before my period pre pregnancy. But headache could just be related to tiredness..
i have a doc appt for isa tomorrow morning to check his rash so i can mention the brown discharge to dr tomorrow and see what she thinks.

sorry for the long message! hope i didn't miss anyone out xx

 

[slammerkin]

Literati - glad the blood sugar has stabilized a bit for you PP. I'm even eating at least twice during the night. So sick of it.

I hope your first day without DH is going OK. I think I'd rather do days alone than nights, but I'm sure I'd struggle with that too.

AliJo - I hope the house works for you. Stairs are OK. We have a three-level townhouse and we had gates at the top and bottom of both staircases. They're all down or mostly left open now for DD, but they'll have to go back up and be closed for Jack at some point.

Ally - glad the circumcision went well. I bet he is just sleepy and will make up for not nursing as much in a day or two.

I've heard of a lot of women having a six-week bleed. Not sure why it happens, but seems common. I had some bleeding at 7 weeks PP wirh DD and thought it was my period, but it wasn't.

AFM - the evening went better last night, but the night was shit. Jack waking almost hourly and grunting so much in between. So tired.

 

[newbie2013]

Hope Isa is doing OK. We got Z done either the day he was born, or the day after - I can't remember which, to be honest. We were worried about the surgeon who did it but it turned out really well. His wound healed really well. I'm bot sure how it affected his feeding because he was so little and not feeding much. Give him plenty of love and hugs!

As for bleeding, I've had some spotting on and off but in the last two days, I've had more uterine cramping and had some more spotting. It can last up to two months, I think, but definitely speak to your doctor about it. You've reminded me, though - I want to ask my doctor about contraception next time I go. It would be highly surprising if I got pregnant naturally but I still don't want to risk it.

Slammer, sorry you had such a shit night. We had a couple of nights like that early on. I remember pacing the living room in tears at about 3am desperately trying to get Z to sleep. Fortunately, he's been pretty good at night recently, although doesn't settle well at all after a feed at around 3-4am.

AliJo, we're also looking to move. It is great that your payments won't be as much as rent. Definitely invest in gates for the stairs! We'll be in an apartment, so no stairs for us just yet... Good luck. I'm not looking forward to moving at all!

 

[newbie2013]

I forgot to add, yes, I'm hoping that pumping will increase my supply. He also had his first bottle and he gulped down two ounces in no time. He hated the medala calms teat but loved the tommee tepee (sp?) one.

 

[Literati_Love]

Slammer - ahh, that's awful you're having to snack twice a night just to keep up! That is intense. Have you tried having a juice box by your bed for a quick sugar fix? Not long lasting but I find it is an easy solution if low blood sugar and thirsty in the middle of the night.
Sorry your night was so awful. Sounds like Jack is a rough sleeper so far. If it gives you any hope, my niece was a really bad sleeper for the first month or so, but then she started STTN at 2 months old and she is now almost 2 and still a champion sleeper. So maybe Jack will turn around for you yet.
I agree I'd rather be alone in the day than the evening. However, I'll likely be doing a lot of evenings by myself this week as well as DH will be so back logged at work. He also often has work events in the evening, so I definitely will have some alone evenings. They are definitely the hardest because bedtime is so difficult, especially when so tired. Does Jack at least go down at a decent hour? Violet cluster feeds until midnight so I can't go to bed until then. Violet also grunts so much in her sleep and it seems to be getting worse. So annoying.

Ali - that's great T doesn't have as many dirty diapers now. I look forward to that day. I remember dd1 stopped pooping in the night around 6-8 weeks, so that will be nice when those are over.
Exciting about that new house. Not a bad idea to get your foot in the door at a starter home even if it's not perfect. I don't think the stairs will be a huge issue. We have a bi-level so have to do stairs all the time and it's fine. We installed a baby gate of course, and dd1 could climb stairs at 7 months already (with us close by of course).

I agree that having a second hasn't put me off having a third at all, but at the same time it is harder because with dd1 I never missed the time before she was born, but now I deal with some guilt and nostalgia thinking about the time I had with just dd1 before. I haven't had a proper dose of being alone with two yet so I can't really say for sure which transition has been harder. But it is definitely a challenge! I think you're doing amazing!

Ally - I would guess that discharge is just some residual postpartum bleeding or some breakthrough bleeding, but it isn't unheard of to get your period right away after. There are some unlucky ones who do. I'd imagine it's unlikely that it is that though, so don't worry! I got lucky and didn't get a postpartum period for 17 months with dd1 (but I BFed until 23 months and I was still nursing in the night until 16 months, which helps stop it).

Glad the circumcision went okay. I am sure the sleepiness won't last too long.


Newbie - glad you have found a bottle that z likes. I hope pumping works to increase your supply! I'm sure it will.

AFM - first day without DH isn't going great. I've spent pretty much all of it changing diapers, taking dd1 for false-alarm potty trips and trying
not to scream. Why dd1 randomly decided to take interest in the potty today, I'll never know. I've had almost no patience today and have had to work on not snapping at dd1 all day. In my first hour awake I changed 6 diapers between the two girls! Argh! I think that has to be the worst part of the newborn stage!
Thankfully dd1 is finally off playing and entertaining herself for a few minutes so I am feeling a bit less impatient now. It was so stressful having dd1 demand potty trips, breakfast, etc. While I was in the middle of feeding Violet! Kept having to put her down and leaving her to fuss which isn't ideal. also since I can't hold her all the time she has basically not slept all day. I am trying the swing out now in hopes that she will finally fall asleep.

 

[pompeyvix]

LL - oh goodness, 6 nappy changes in one hour Sounds like a tough start! Sorry your first day alone wasn't too great, but it will get easier as you find a new routine and normal for you.

slammer - as I mentioned in the other thread we're on, I am sorry you are having dark thoughts. It is normal and you are dealing with a lot as you are on your own with your DH working evenings. It is going to be hard and the newborn stage is particularly tough Hang in there, and things will ease up.
Goodness, so you have a grunter too?! It is so frustrating. I am such a light sleeper and Jamie keeps me awake pretty much all night long!
Sorry Jack doesnt seem to like the carrier unless sleepy. That must be frustrating! I've only popped Jamie in ours 3 times, but he hasn't fussed or cried in it all but maybe because he was sleepy. I've yet to put him in awake!

Ally - glad the circumcision went well. I must admit, we've not even considered it for Jamie.
Not sure on the pp bleeding as I think it's different with a c section. I wouldn't have thought it was a period so early on, but they CAN start back this early.

AliJo - I hope the house viewing went well. We have a little starter home and it's just perfect! Deffo get stair gates put on. We haven't had them for ages but are going to have to get them back out of the attic as soon as Jamie is mobile!
Yay for less bowel movements - I can't wait to stop changing nappies in the middle of the night!

vrogers - I am glad Lillian seemed to like the Ergo! I was thinking of buying that one but went with the papoozle in the end. I am glad you managed to get out of the house, it sure does make a difference.

Newbie - I hope the pumping helps supply. There is something called power pumping which is quite interesting and apparently really does help up milk production. You basically pump for 20 mins, rest for 20, pump for 10, rest for 10 and so on for an hour. I know it may be very difficult to find the time to do it with a newborn, but I've heard it works (I'm a member of a facebook group about pumping and that's where I read it).

AFM - AFM - Jamie still just won't settle at night. He constantly makes these bloody loud grunting type noises ALL NIGHT LONG as well as wake more frequently for milk ( 4 times is about average, but has been 6) as well as nappy changes etc. It is so exhausting. During the day he sleeps very peacefully for hours at a time. I think he has wind and is uncomfortable, but all honestly, I can't really tell. Today worked out well as Anabella was in pre school 9-3 so when I got home I slept on and off next to Jamie in bed until gone 12pm!

Tomorrow Anabella is home with me, so won't have that luxury although if needed I will give her the ipad and go back to sleep ( I know that's bad, but needs must). She is quite patient and accepts that Jamie needs tending too and she know's I can't play with her as much as I express my milk every few hours. She is pretty helpful with Jamie, perhaps too much sometimes, and has also started to get herself dressed and ready in the mornings. She has been capable of doing it for a long time, but for quick and easiness, I've always done it for her. She was super helpful this morning whilst I was trying to get her to pre school this morning, so for that I am greatful!

Wish me luck for tonight....it's just gone 10pm here and no grunting yet, no doubt as soon as I am in bed ready to sleep, he'll start up...

 

[Literati_Love]

Pompey - ahh, that's so nice your baby goes to bed by 10! As I said to slammer, Violet cluster feeds nearly non-stop from about 8 pm to midnight, so there's no chance of me going to sleep before midnight. Violet also grunts constantly in her sleep.

That's wonderful about Annabella being in school today so you could nap. Tomorrow will definitely be harder but I agree about just using the iPad if you need! These early days are about survival!

I was pleased with myself today that I managed to get dd1 and Vi to sleep about the same time and then had a nap myself. That was definitely the only way I survived today and I have no idea how people whose kids no longer nap do it! That's good Annabella is at least in school some days.
I say, well done to us for surviving the first day without ou DHs. I did not enjoy my day, but thankfully the rest of the day was not nearly as bad at the first hour or two. I think the mornings are always going to be the tough part for me as I am so beyond not a morning person, and then I'm hungry and uncaffeinated at first and it's just not a pretty picture.

 

[vrogers]

This is my third attempt to write this post, hopefully now that dh is home I can actually finish!

Slammer- so sorry you are struggling! I think those thoughts are quite normal, I've had them myself. I do miss the "old" days of just dh and I, and when I could sleep however much and when I wanted, etc. It's really hard, and all the hormones mixed in sure don't help.
I hope you adjust and are able to take a little time for yourself soon, you deserve and need it!

Ali- good luck with the house, I don't blame you on the stairs, that would scare me too! I would definitely be using baby gates at the top and bottom haha

Ally- I hope Isa heals quickly, glad he doesn't seem to be in much pain!
What the others have said about the bleeding makes sense, I have no experience and like Pompey I think it would be diff with a section! I'm still bleeding off an on however and super jealous of you dtd

Pompey- 6 times, ouch! The grunting is SO loud, I've been using a white noise app and it has helped a ton. I don't hear her smaller grunts/random noises but I do still wake when she gets a little louder and is ready to eat. Maybe that would help? I don't think anyone could blame you for the iPad, you get your sleep when you can and I would do the same thing I imagine. That's good that anabella is helpful with the baby, she sounds like a little sweetheart! I hope tonight is better and you can get as much slee as possible!

Literati- oh that sounds so stressful. I admire you ladies who have more than one kid + newborns! JUST having a newborn is rough for me! That's good you were able to get a nap though, those can make all the difference. Mornings are tough for me until I get about 2 cups of coffee! Im sure it's quite the adjustment to go from one kid to two, especially since all babies/kids are so different and not everything works the same with them. I hope tomorrow is better!

Lillian is 4 weeks old today, does not feel like it's been 4 weeks! At the same time it's been long and exhausting. Thought her appointment was Thursday but it's actually Wednesday, she will be 1 month Thursday-glad I remembered that before missing the appointment. Ready for this weekend already for more sleep!

 

[slammerkin]

Newbie - I hope this phase of waking and grunting passes quickly. The first week was pretty good actually. Just cosleeping and waking to feed. I could even handle the wakings OK - did it for a long time with DD, but the not being able to get good sleep between the wakings is hard.

Literati - haven't tried juice. I have a protein bar or peanut butter crackers. Thinking of making some healthy trail mix to munch instead and might add juice then too. The protein bars are too expensive and are full of junk anyway.

I thought we were in a good rhythm with cosleeping and just waking to feed every few hours. I imagine this grunty phase will pass soon enough. Just super annoying right now. I hope he's a better sleeper than DD.

I go to bed with Jack usually around 11-12. He's not really cluster feeding, but after getting DD to bed around 8 he is ready for a feed and a snooze, but I'm not prepped for bed yet, so I just feed/get him another nap and then try for “bed time” the next time he wakes for a feed.

Sounds like a bit of a rough first day! It just seems like OF COURSE DD1 would pick today to be interested in the potty! What a challenge! I'm glad you all managed a nap at least!

Pompey - hoping this grunting poor sleep will end soon!

I'm sure some IPad time for Anabella is fine! There has been so much TV time for DD recently. When pregnancy was taking its toll, when DH is exhausted from working at night, and now with a baby around. I feel like it's too much, but ugh, what else to do? I'm thankful for her three days of daycare a week to get her out of the house and get some learning done.

AFM - DH and I traded off taking naps today but then managed to get out for lunch as a family and some outdoor time for DD before he went to work. Last night alone tonight! DD off to daycare tomorrow so we can both get some sleep whenever Jack is sleeping.

Oh, and DD finally has her first dance class tomorrow. She was supposed to have classes on Monday mornings, but they never did get a replacement teacher for that time, so now she'll go Tues afternoons. I just hope it's not too much for her going straight from daycare to dance.

 

[slammerkin]

Vrogers thanks for the reassurance. It's good to know others have the same thoughts. I mean I love Jack already, but its still hard.

I have a noise machine in every bedroom of the house! But it doesn't help with Jack being either on my chest or beside me. Ugh.

Hope Lillian's appt goes well! I understand the feeling of time flying and yet going slow. That's basically parenting in a nutshell!

 

[Literati_Love]

Slammer - that's good you have a high protein snack at night. That's definitely a healthier choice than I usually make! Good idea on the trail mix. I always used to snack on trail mix before getting pregnant when nuts made me feel sick in the first tri. It sounds good to me again.

I also hope he is a better sleeper than your dd. I am hoping that for Violet as well. Only time will tell I guess.

My dd has also had way too much tv time in recent months but that's the only way I manage.

I'm glad you managed lunch out today. Sounds like a nice outing. That is also good your dd goes to daycare 3 days a week so you can get some rest. Definitely would be easier to manage with just one. I hope your dd enjoys her dance class and it isn't too much to go right after daycare. Well done on making it to your last night in a row without your DH. Good luck!

VRogers - happy 4 weeks to Lillian. I also understand about time flying but being slow (and hard) at the same time.

That is a good thing you figured out the appointment date before you missed it. It is hard keeping things straight when so sleep deprived.

I agree a couple cups of coffee sure helps!0 Actually, I've only had one per day yet because I'm in the habit of not too much caffeine from pregnancy. Just realized I could definitely have two now - yippee!

AFM - I haven't had a break yet today as DH came home for supper and then went straight downstairs to work from home for the rest of the evening. Looks like he'll be doing that until bedtime. I'm sure he'll be doing the same tomorrow night, and then he's gone all day and evening Wednesday for work, then Thursday as well so I will basically be on my own completely except overnight (but he doesn't help anyway) until Friday at supper time. Kind of makes me want to scream but what can I do I guess.

I admit I had a bit higher expectations for this week as my parents are on holidays this week and next and the plan was primarily to help me out (I thought). However, they were busy today and didn't drop by at all, and they're fully booked tomorrow as well. I was quite naively expecting my mom to drop by every day at least for a bit to help, so I am having to adjust my expectations a bit now. This week will just be about survival. No cleaning or cooking is going to get done. And since DH can't be bothered to clean ever, I am sure the house will just not be cleaned for a couple months. Oh well.

 

[newbie2013]

Having a hard time today. I'm feeling incompetent and that my baby isn't doing well. He struggles to nap at all during the day and sleeps for only about 12 hours total in a 24 hour period. I know that's not enough but he resists sleep during the day and rarely settles after the feed that finishes around 4-5am. I'm worried that his lack of weight gain is associated with his lack of sleep since he must be burning so much energy being awake for so long. Today, he was awake from 4:30 until 2:30 with only a brief 15 minute nap around 8am. I feel so bad for him. He looks so exhausted. So am I since I've also been feeding him every two hours since then too. He feeds for an hour, then fusses for an hour, then the cycle continues. I have no idea what to do to help him.

Sorry for the vent. I'm feeling emotionally drained and unstable today..

 

[Literati_Love]

Newbie - so sorry you're struggling and feeling so drained. I know what it is like to have an overtired baby. Dd1 was like that and I figured out I had to 'force' her to sleep after 1 hour of awake time or else she'd be up for 8 hours straight and scream the house down with overtiredness.
Two things - a) is it possible he is asleep during feeds so he is at least getting slightly more sleep than you think?
And
B) this article may or may not be at all helpful to you, but have you tried experimenting with age-appropriate awake times (45 min- 1 hr max) and rocking, nursing or whatever he likes to sleep at that moment to try and see what awake time he will easily fall asleep at? It took some practice with my dd1 but I found as long as I kept her at an appropriate awake time before getting her to sleep, she'd fall asleep relatively easily (not really easily at all compared to other babies), but if I waited longer than that she would never go to sleep.
I think I used this link for reference:
https://www.mybabysleepguide.com/2009/02/wake-time.html?m=1

Again, it may not be helpful to you and please disregard if it isn't! Every baby is different and I have no idea what you've tried. Just thought I would mention since it was helpful to me back in the day.
Violet has also started having unacceptably long awake periods and becoming overtired (but not as extreme), and I am getting worried she will be the same as dd1 in that regard.
Lots of to you. It is so stressful worrying about your baby, and I am sure the weight gain issues are beyond stressful to you. You're doing a great job! You are definitely not incompetent! And babies are hard to figure out for anyone - especially in the beginning - but you will keeping figuring him out as you go and it will be okay!

 

[Ally2015]

slammer-i feel ya on the tiredness!! Glad you all got out.

newbie- yes he is healing really well. i have the tomme tipee ones also when i express.
I feel imcompotent on some days and i completely understand with the lack of sleep and weight that you are feeling so emotional and unstable yourself. But honestly, babies are a mystery. Bbay z is so young yet, things will get better and please try yourself to get some sleep and rest when you can. Ask dh to help out where you need it. You are a fab mum and doing such a great job, baby z may just be a slow gainer, im sure once he is on solids he will pick up then too.

lit- not gonna lie, that day without dh sounds stressful!! Thats a shame your parents can't be around. Defo leave the housework, just get through the week!

pomp= my nights sounds like yours, long and exhausting! we have wind problems. have u tried gripe water? it does help a little.


vrogers- i miss those tims with dh too, it is a really difficult period. Don't be jealous about dtd, it was only like 2 times and always an akwardness to it with isa asleep in the crib and us not knowing if we have 5 mins or 20 lol.
hope your appt goes well tomorrow.

afm- totally exhausted, isa was up with reflux last night. Took him to doc today who gave me a cream for his yeast rash and drops as he has thrush. She told me to use gaviscon for his reflux. I just feel so sorry for isa with his nappy/yeast rash, bad wind and reflux. He never seems settled these days so hoping it will pass soon and he wll be more comfy. Its sad to see as his mum and i am just so tired myself.

x

 

[slammerkin]

Literati - omg I feel for you facing so much time on your own this week. I'm sorry! My DH doesn't clean either...he will straighten up and does clean up the kitchen after cooking, but never cleans a bathroom or anything like that. Sending you strength to get through some long days.

That also sucks about your parents not helping like you thought. I hope they do step in after a couple days. I'm still annoyed with my mom for being mostly no help while here right after the birth. The day we came home she said she was going to head home too. After I looked panicked she said she'd stay longer. And then basically the only useful thing she did the whole time she was here was to occasionally hold Jack and she picked up DD from daycare once. The rest of the time she just slept until noon, ate, used up all our ice, and took over the TV. She talks the talk about wanting to help, but how about you just DO SOMETHING USEFUL without being asked? I don't want to beg you to help me. And after a rough morning one day she was like 'well why didn't you come wake me?' Here's a thought...how bout you don't come to 'help' and then sleep until noon every damn day? Ugh. DH thinks she wants to help, but doesn't know what I need, but I just think she's completely out of touch and doesn't take time to think at all and it makes me so mad.

Dang...sorry for the rant, but I apparently needed to get that off my chest, lol.

Newbie - I'm so sorry you're feeling that way! I'm sure you are doing the best you can. That's crazy that Z will go so long without napping! DD fought naps a bit, but I just bounced and shushed until she gave up the fight. Sometimes it could take 30-40 minutes. Has Z been checked for lip or tongue ties? Feeding for an hour seems kind of long at this point. If he's not transfering milk well that could lead to the long feedings and the poor weight gain. I don't have any personal experience with that though. Do you have any International Board Certified Lactation Consultants where you live?

 

[slammerkin]

Ally - so sorry you were up last night. I hope the rash and thrush clear up quickly. It sounds stressful to have him be so unsettled all the time.

 

[newbie2013]

Thanks for the support and advice. I'll definitely be reading that article, lit. And I will have the doctor check him for lip or tongue tie next appointment. I hadn't thought of that. My friend also suggested that he's hit the 6 week growth spurt early, hence the constant feeding and lack of sleep but he rarely sleeps during the day, so I'm sure. Will aim for a concerted effort to force him to sleep tomorrow.

He's drifting off in my arms right now so I'm going to put him down and try to sleep myself.

Hugs to you all. So grateful for wonderful people to vent to.