January Baby Bears 2017 ~ 48 Momma Bears: 21 Blue, 17 Pink

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Alijo - welcome to the world of blowouts! Jamie had a huge one today which went through his vest, sleepsuit and onto bed covers! We use something called vanish which gets stains out of pretty much anything. If clothes are too covered, they are thrown away though to be fair.
That's brilliant DTD didn't hurt, that must be a relief. I bet he loved you waking him up for that reason, my hubby wouldn't know what to do with himself I done that!
I love using the croc pot (we call it a slow cooker) although admittedly, I haven't used since Jamie was born. Your receipe looks delish!

slammer - for me it's been the other way round with bonding. I struggled at first with Anabella. I hated the newborn phase. I found it tough and relentless and was just obsessed with getting her to sleep and in all honesty I didn't enjoy it at all. With Jamie I fell in love straight away and cried with happiness several times, including having overwhelming guilt that I wanted him to be a girl in the earlier stages of pregnancy. I am not sure if it's because he is my second (and last) and I know what to expect and I know everything is just a phase or whether it's because he is an easier baby and so potentially easier to bond with. Your feelings are normal though and it is common for those strong feelings to come on later, as you know. I am sure your feelings with click soon :hugs:

newbie - goodness, what a stressful, full on week! No wonder Z has been settled but as things start to settle, he will be fine. How is your new apartment?

LL - I am glad Violet slept better last night and her fussiness and eating was more of a growth spurt. Sounds tough with her screaming most nights :hugs: How have you and your husband got on the rest of the week he was off? Did you manage to do anything nice in the end?
I also love this thread and I am so glad I am posting more now. I feel like we all have something in common so it makes it so much easier to relate/vent/talk etc

Angel - wow, 3 nights and no screaming - sounds like a right result! And I am pleased you got the swing sorted in the end. We have one, but need new batteries so we havent tried Jamie in it yet.
My husband is getting circumcised because his foreskin is so tight and it makes sex really really painful for him. He has been wanting it done a while, but wasnt taken seriously by our GP but when we moved, he saw someone new who referred him to hospital to get it done.

AFM - Nothing much to update on really. Jamie is still really chilled and contented. I am waiting for him to change and become more hard work! Either that or he will pay me back when he is a toddler :haha:
 
Slammer - I fell in love with both of them right away, but I know that isn't how it always works with everyone or every child. With O I was more emotional afterwards. So I felt very clingy towards him and didn't want to go anywhere without him. I think this partly had to do with me having to go back to school so soon. I got some anxiety over it and I still get like that to an extent, but nothing like I was. I didn't have a surge of emotions after T. It definitely does feel different this time because I have two and not just one to focus on. I also don't get as many of those moments where you're just gushing over your baby. Again, because I don't have as much time to. Having two you definitely don't get the same amount of bonding time. I take it where I can. Watching O and T bonding feels just as special as if it was I who was bonding with him.

I also did get more time to bond in the first couple of weeks when my niece was here and O was mostly content playing with her.

Try not to feel guilty! You have a lot going on with two. I think you'll just be sitting there with Jack and it will all just come rushing in. I was reading people's comments on a poll asking just this. https://www.babycenter.com/4_when-did-you-first-fall-in-love-with-your-child_1516226.bc It was interesting to see everyone's different responses!
 
Pomp - Haha.. I don't want to be welcomed! Send me away! He's done it several times now. I remember maybe a couple of times in total with O when he was little. He had a few more through his first year, but really nothing compared to what I've heard other parents complain about. Well I'm getting it this time!

I was actually kind of laughing to myself as I was cleaning him up. I was just thinking about how the first time he does this to DH when I'm not here he's going to panic.. I laugh every time he does! He's usually like holding him like "What do I do?!" Um.. clean him up, then you get cleaned up.


SO What I forgot to say that I was going to say earlier. I bought (well hubby did after I showed him I wanted to get something like it) a bath seat for infants that you can just set in the tub. This will make bath days sooo much easier I think. T is usually not content when I give O his baths so if DH isn't here it either won't happen or I put T in his baby tub in the tub and do both. That leaves O little room in the tub. Well this way I can just do both and bam. Good to go. O likes taking his baths with him. He won't get as much water with him, but I think he'll accept that.
 
only have time to quickly glance through comments

pomp- amazing on your milk stash! I am so glad jamie is a chilled out baby! you are lucky. My dh got circumised about 6 years ago, he found it so painful!

ali- sorry to hear about your MIL and her declining health. Must be hard for your dh.
Sorry about the stress, i guess we aee all feeling it in different ways. Your crock pot meal sounds great!

glad you dtd and it didn't hurt!

angel- glad melody is seeming a bit more settled.

newbie- that all sound so stressful! i hope things get easier for you and you get rest. How is work going?

slammer- hope dd isn't sick and gets better soon!

AFM- i am just having bad luck with mastitis. On saturday morning i had a check up and he basically drained the boob again which was very painful. He also said he can feel another abscess underneath that is deeper - that one might require surgery- a simple one but still surgery nonetheless. But hopefully it won't come to that and i can get it drained again.
Isa seems very unsettled just now, and i am just exhausted. I think the antibiotics i am taking are affecting his belly as he seems in a lot of discomfort, poor boy.
I am still able to breastfeed for now though but dh and i have looked into formulas in advance.
my dh has been amazing and so supportive though and made this all so much easier. Tomorrow i have an appt at the breast clinic, i'm hoping they will scan and see exactly what is going on.

i can't believe Isa is 2 months old! i am finding this stage very tiring, i never knew it was possible to feel so tired and bf'ing is also so exhausting. He also sleeps in his crib now much more and without much fuss which is handy as i get more room at night. But he normally ends up in thebed at some point.

sorry if i missed anyone out, hope everyone is having a great day
 
Oh no! I'm so sorry about your mastitis. My best friend got it really badly with her first and was forced to stop breastfeeding because of it. With her second, she didn't even try breastfeeding because her experience had traumatized her. I think she ended up getting drained about five times and needed surgery too. Both breasts :-( Fingers crossed for you that it won't come to that. Great idea to at least look into formula in case you need it.

Afm, I'm enjoying being back at work but I wish I'd had the opportunity to have more time off with Z. I'm exhausted, he's fussy because of all the changes and me not being with him all day. I'm pumping at work, which is time consuming but at least I can do it. I'm grateful that it is spring break next week for us so I get a week off to recover a bit! It has been a bit overwhelming, to be honest.

Love this group, too. I wish I had time to reply more.
 
Will reply to people properly later. But just had a completely shit night and feeling exhausted and like I can't/don't want to do this. I think I spent one hour in bed, the rest in the glider or bouncing. And DD woke by 9:30 and came into my bed. Then she was just awake at 2:30. Thankfully DH came home shortly thereafter and was able to get her a bottle and take her away. Spent half my night I feel like crying and losing my mind begging Jack to just shush and and go the F to sleep.
 
Hello all. I am exhausted but the girls and I slept in quite late this morning and that felt great. I will be paying for it at bedtime though!

Yesterday was feeling very overwhelmed and down from this whole parenting two kids thing. Ended up getting a Starbucks only to drop and spill almost the entire thing as soon as I got home, then crying and having a much-needed nap. I felt a bit better after that.

DH is back to work today and I think it will be okay. We did have a good last couple days together. Fri we went out for lunch and shopping for strollers. Saturday we ordered supper in and had friends over very briefly. DH was in a better mood and we had some good talks together. Even though I will miss the help, I think it will actually be better with DH at work this week. Yes, I'm exhausted, but DH seems to have far less patience than I do and he was
snapping at my dd1 constantly, demanding too much of her and making her cry excessively (not from being mean but she is extremely whiny and wimpy lately). I think it will be good for him to get a 'break' from child rearing and hopefully have more patience at home. And hopefully I can get into a comfortable rhythm at home. It will at least be quieter.

Slammer - so sorry your night was so awful! I haven't had a night quite that terrible yet with the two of them, but I have certainly felt like crying and screaming at V to go the F to sleep! I hate her evening screamathons and I basically
shut down and become very withdrawn whenever she gets like that.

as for the bonding, I did bond with both dd1 and Violet immediately, but that's just me. I have friends who took a couple months to bond with their baby so it's definitely different for everyone. I find that I do feel less affectionate toward dd1 now and tend to wish she would just go play by herself all the time so I could just sit and cuddle Violet, which is awful of me. I feel quite guilty all the time. Also when Violet is super fussy I kind of shut down.

Ali - I also hope neither of us gets depressed this time. Oh, and I can't believe O never had blow-outs! Dd1 used to have 3+ a day. We had to switch diaper brands and even then she had them somewhat regularly. I was always doing laundry. Oddly enough I don't have any good stain removal techniques. Apparently hanging them up in the sun helps but that probably isn't an option in an apartment.

Newbie - glad being back at work isn't too terrible but I wish you had had more time with z too.

Ally - I can't believe the bad time you've had with the mastitis. I can't believe it isn't gone already. I feel so bad for you. Hugs.
I am sorry you're so exhausted and are finding this stage really tiring. It is a tiring stage, and I'd imagine the mastitis is taking more out of you than you think. That caused me extreme fatigue and I never had it as bad as you!

Pompey - thanks. I did have a much better time with DH for the rest of the holiday. Glad things are going well.

Sorry my replies aren't very good today. I just feel so wiped out and unenthusiastic.
 
Ally - That sounds horrible. I really hopes it resolves so you can continue to breastfeed, but at least it seems like you'll be prepared if you can't.

Newbie - I'm glad you're enjoying work. Hopefully Z gets into the new routine soon so it's easier on him.

Slammer - Oh gosh, I'm really sorry. That sounds so hard. Is it possible he might be hitting a growth spurt? Really hope it's not hard for you tonight.
 
Lite - I think my DH is losing his patience quicker as well. I do as well, but not as often, but I'm also home with them a lot more and I'm learning to manage slowly. I think my hubby would lose himself if he didn't work.

I would have cried if I lost my drink! I've never have had Starbucks, but a good coffee sounds good right now.
 
Pompey - I really thought I'd bond sooner this time because I felt more bonded during the pregnancy and was a weepy mess when he came out, whereas I was kind of detached during DD’s pregnancy and didn't shed a tear when she came out. But it's not happening like I thought it would. I seem to be taking this newborn period harder than I did with DD.

AliJo - I was very clingy toward DD too, but am feeling more like “OK, take this baby away from me” at times now.

What kind of diapers do you use? I am liking the Costco Kirkland ones. I find a good gathered area at the back is important for keeping things contained. And a tight fit at the leg openings. Pampers Swaddlers are terrible at keeping poop in.

It would be nice to bathe the kids together eventually, but for now I am using DD’s old infant tub for Jack and just filling it in the kitchen and taking it out to the living room (the kitchen is a little cold at times). And bathing DD completely separately. Both of them could stand to be washed more often, but I can't seem to manage it. I wanted to wash DD last night but couldn't find the time, plus she was probably going to hate it while feeling sick anyway.

Not sure about a growth spurt. Maybe. He pretty much just slept and ate yesterday, so maybe that led to the restlessness at night.

Ally - I also really feel bad for you with the mastitis. What a painful and demoralizing experience! It's good to be looking at formulas to be prepared. I hope you get some good insight at the breast clinic. Let us know how that goes. And it's awesome your DH is being a great support.

Newbie - glad you are enjoying work. What good timing to have spring break now to recover.

Literati - I hope things settle down with DH going back to work. It sounds like it will be better for you guys to have your routine and to have him be home in the evenings to help, but not around all day to be stressed out.

At least my DD has been remarkably good and not too demanding since Jack came along. I am thankful for that. While she can get on my nerves I find myself wishing I could spend more time with her and snuggle her. I still look at her and think she's the most beautiful creature, whereas I'm waiting for that feeling with Jack.

I would rather be more shut down/withdrawn when dealing with the fussy baby and shit sleep. I'm ashamed of my behavior to be honest. I cry and get enraged and beg him to stop. I'd rather just go silent and go through the motions. I'm sure I make it worse for myself by getting so upset. It just makes me more exhausted/drained.

AFM - well, nothing really new so far today. DH slept with DD from 3am but then she was awake for the day at 6:15 and he was still very tired as you'd expect. I was up bouncing Jack on the ball from 5:00 - nearly 6:00 but we slept some after that in the glider until 9ish (with some wakings for boob). Came down like a zombie after that and handed him to DH and just ate and laid on the couch. It felt good to be laying down at all! Not gonna nap myself, but just sent DH to nap since he has to close again tonight and got maybe 3 hours of sleep.

DD is at daycare. Really hope she does better tonight, but I'm not that optimistic. One of the other kids is out with a fever, ugh. I hope she doesn't come down with one and she remains just a runny nose cold.

Aaand having a major blood sugar crash now despite eating 30 mins ago. Fun times. Eating apples and protein/granola bars and sweating my ass of with Jack on top of me ATM. Gonna try him in the mamaroo shortly to try and get a break from having this kid in my arms for what feels like 24 hours straight at least.

Blah, what a negative post! Sorry!

ETA... Mamaroo fail! FML!
 
Slammer - I also find myself wishing for more snuggle time and quality time with dd1 at times. I basically go back and forth. Half the time I feel guilty and like crying because I miss all the sweet one-on-one time with dd1 and it seems like I'll never get it again. Then the rest of the time I feel irritated with her because I can't just focus on Violet. I think basically it is just really hard for me to divide my attention! I want to be able to give them BOTH all my attention but that just isn't possible.
Do you think soon you might be able to get your DH to watch Jack while you do a one on one date with your dd? Seems like you're missing quality time with her so might be nice to get a break from JAck and hang out with just her again.
I am sure that "most beautiful creature" feeling will come with jack! I do have it with Violet but I think I would find it very hard if I didn't!
I am sure some rage/frustration is probably somewhat normal at times when you are overwhelmed, stressed and tired! It is a real shame you don't have your DH at home most nights to pass him off to when it is too much for you. I have definitely had to pass Violet off to DH more than a few times because she's just too much for me. I guess my rage and frustration is more directed at dd1 because she never stops whining. It makes me so angry when I tell her "no" to something and she spends the next twenty minutes crying, whining and throwing a tantrum. I just want to tell her to shut up already. :(
I'm sorry about your low blood sugar attack. I am probably due for one shortly because I haven't had lunch yet at 2 in the afternoon and my breakfast was very small. Violet will not go to sleep for me so I may never get to eat. Ugh.
 
It's taken me all weekend to write up this reply. I start to reply to people and then have to stop for something and come back and do some more off and on all weekend. We at least got some productive things done. Our friend who has been living with us for the last year finally moved out last week! So we have our spare bedroom / office back again and once we find a new desk we can move our office stuff back out of our bedroom and into the other room and I'll start to feel like my bedroom is really my room again. Plus I was able to move a bunch of stuff we'd been storing in the baby's room back over to the spare room. We use that closet as our storage since we don't have a garage and so we have very little storage space in this house.

Last night was awful. She didn't have her fussy evening time and I thought we were going to have a good night. But she woke up hungry around 10, just an hour after eating. Then it turned into angry/fussy trying to eat but screaming at he same time which usually means gas pain. That escalated into full blown screaming and kicking for an hour. :nope: Nothing I did made her feel better. I finally made DH give me drops (gas) around 11:30 and she was able to poop shortly after, so I went and changed her, she calmed for a few minutes and then started again. :wacko: I think we went to sleep around midnight but I Had to sleep half propped up in bed with her in my arms propped up to keep her happy. Which means my neck/back are all kinked and really hurt today. And of course she decided to feed every two hours last night. So I am so F'ing tired.

I'm irrationally frustrated with DH. I feel like he should just have taken her from me when I was getting frustrated last night and helped but he just tried to roll over and sleep. But, at the same time I know that if I had ASKED him to help he would have (and probably wouldn't have complained, he never does). I just feel like sometimes I want him to step in and at least offer to help without me having to ask. I shouldn't be angry because I didn't ask for help, and if I had asked I know he would have helped, but sometimes I just want him to offer. :cry:


Right now she's sleeping in her swing. She's been fussy since we got up and sleeping less than 30 mins in her bassinet but yesterday she slept 3 hours in her swing. I usually only try to use the swing for 1 nap a day in the afternoon but she wouldn't stop crying no matter what I did today and the minute I put her down in the swing she was happy. Soooo I'm leaving her there. :haha:



Lite & Vrogers - I agree, this thread is so helpful and supportive. Before I joined BnB I had looked at a lot of pregnancy boards when googling stuff and some of the others were so awful, women are just cruel and mean but BnB is never like that! Not sure how it ended up like that but I love this board. And our group is amazing. I really appreciate how even when others in the group have a different way of doing things or a different perspective no one judges. Babycenter is one of the worst IMO.

Vrogers - oh yeah I told DH if he couldn't fix it I was going to just spend the money on the new swing even though I shouldn't spen that much right now but I can't live without a swing. I was tired of dealing with people selling used who wouldn't answer messages or would set up a time to meet and no-show (the worst!) so I was ready to just spend the money. My sanity is worth the $150-$200 :haha:


Ali - My frozen crockpot meals are a lifesaver especially when we're busy and I know I won't have time to cook. Takes awhile to put them together but I happily spend 2-3 hours on an afternoon putting together 10-12 meals to freeze if it means several evenings free of cooking

Sounds like the meds you were on as a kid were not the right ones for you (or too high of a dose). That kind of drastic affect is not good. My antidepressants are a very low dose and they help level my mood so I don't have those days where I can't get out of bed but I definitely still feel sadness and emotions, they just don't overwhelm me to the point that I cannot function (which is what the meds should do, rather than take it all away). But, honsetly, if you can function without meds and don't feel like you'er drowning or anything then no need for the meds anyway. As long as you'er managing safely I figure there's reason to add drugs. :)

Congrats on DTD! (is that an odd thing to congratulate someone on? :rofl: ) I'm so glad that you were able to do it without any pain!


Slammer - Sometimes I put her to sleep in the swing.I don't want her to develop a habit of only sleeping when rocking in the swing. So I try to limit to only 1 nap a day in the swing and then I put her down in her bassinet for any other nap. In the swing she'll sleep 2-3+ hours, so I usually try to do that early afternoon. The bassinet I'll put her down already asleep but I'm trying to put her down when she's newly asleep instead of fully zonked out because I can't hold her that long before my arm/shoulder start to give out. We usually bounce her on the yoga ball to put her to sleep and she'll fall asleep in about 5-10 minutes but if I wait until she's fully asleep my arm is dead.

Thanks about the diaphram. I'll let you know if I have questions. :)

As for the feelings and bond - I'm so glad you mentioned it. I was honestly feeling like something was wrong with me because I felt like I should have had this magic bond immediately and I feel like I was just starting to get there a few weeks ago (around 4 weeks maybe). I don't know about a second child, since M is my first, but I would imagine that it could take longer because as you said you don't have the time to just spend staring and focusing on the one kid.

I also had a horrible night. I was thinking in the middle of the night the exact same thing, that I "can't/don't want to do this"...and I've only got one to deal with. Melody just wouldn't calm down.When she gets really fussy and her screams turn piercing and angry she also will start kicking against me and sometimes pinching/grabbing at my neck with her hands, and then I get so frustrated because I can't comfort her without her fighting me but she doesn't want to be put down either. At one point I got angry and found myself saying "Stop! I don't know what you want!" and I I had to set her down on the bed and just let her scream for a few minutes because I was so exhausted/frustrated that I mentally was not okay to keep holding her. I feel horrible :( :hugs: We will get through this.


Pompey - Yeah the battery situation is annoying on the swings. I would prefer one that plugs in rather than using 4 D batteries because those get expensive. But at least without a cord I can move it wherever I want and not worry about where a plug is.

Wow I'm so sorry that your husband's had so much trouble with his foreskin! I didn't even know that could be an issue. I'm glad that he found a doctor that took him seriously and getting circumcised will help! Is it a long recovery process?


Ally - I'm so sorry you're having such a rough time with the mastitis! :( I hope that you heal up quickly.

newbie - I'm so glad you're able to pump at work. My big concern is figuring out how to pump at work with thew ay my class schedule is set up it will be hard to get in pumping time. :nope:
 
slammer / LL - I could have written your posts about your DD's about Anabella!! I too go from wishing she would stop being so demanding and play with her toys independentl so that I can tend to Jamie in peace to then being sad that I can't give her the attention I used too and feeling so sorry for her that her world has been turned upside down (through no fault of her own) and I am constantly using negative words to her... don't do this, leave him alone, why aren't you listening etc etc. I've found this harder to deal with then having a newborn again :(

slammer - so sorry your night last night was so awful and you started having thoughts that you can't do this :hugs: It sounds like it was absolutely horrendous and I can only imagine how tough it was. But you can and will get through it and Jack will settle soon. I am sure it makes it harder not having your husband around when he is finishing late. Does he have any time off coming up? Sounds like you need more support :hugs:

Angel - sorry your night with Melody was also rough :hugs:
As for your DH, I just think a lot of men seriously need it spelling out to them as much as we wish they would offer and think ahead for us. Maybe talk to him and explain you would prefer he offers to help sometimes? I know that kinda defeats the object, but it may prompt him more in the middle of the night!

Ally - Sorry your mastitis still isnt better and that you may need surgery. Sounds horrific and I have never heard of it being so bad before. I don't blame you for looking into formula's, what you are going through is enough to put anyone off! I hope it doesn't come to surgery and you start feeling better soon :hugs:

Newbie - I can only imagine how tough it is starting working again with a baby so little. I hope this settle soon for you all :hugs:

AliJo - Glad you have a solution for bath times now. It is hard to know what to do for best at first. If Anabella and Jamie are both having a bath, I will put him little bathrub in the big tub and then Anabella will go in as well and she loves that!

AFM - Very tired today as Jamie wakes so often for milk in the night.I was trying to remember from when Anabella was a newborn at what age they start to get into more of a routine? I will always feed and sleep on demand until he changes himself, but I know with Anabella we got a stage when she would have naps at certain times and milk intake was fairly regular, but I can't for the life of me remember when that was.
I still feel I have very little patience with Anabella and I constantly feel guilty. I think our most over-used phrase in our house since Jamie came along is 'Anabella, leave him alone' as she can't seem to stop herself from touching, squishing, squeezing and kissing him. Her intentions are good, but it is infuriating. I end up snapping at her so much, yet she is such a good girl really. I wish I had more patience!
 
Pompey - Thank you. I am so glad someone else can relate so much. I also am constantly using negative phrases with dd1. My most frequent is probably just, "stop that/ quit doing that!" Ugh. I feel awful. I am just so glad I am not the only one. I agree that dealing with this has been more difficult than adjusting to a newborn.

I am not sure when they get into more of a routine. Violet almost had more of a routine in the first week or two than she does now! Or at least now she is changing it up and I haven't figured it out yet. Blah.

Angel - I don't blame you for being angry with your hubby for not helping in the night. I constantly wish DH would do things without being asked, but if asking at least gets you help then it is probably worth it just ask, even if it is infuriating that they won't just see that you need help.
I have also felt the, "I can't/don't want to do this" feeling before. Motherhood is hard!
That's so nice M will sleep in her swing. I would love if Violet would sleep in hers sometimes so I could get a break. She seems to hate the swinging motion. Ugh.

AFM - I have had a hard day and have no patience left. However, DH has another migraine and I am on my own for the evening as well. Wish me luck. I wish someone would offer to come over and let me shower and have a few minutes to myself. Dd1 is getting a very big dose of TV today. :(
 
Oh my goodness! I just slept from 7:30pm - 2am! Longest stretch of sleep I've had in 6 months! Ds sleep for 7 hours! Amazing! I feel like a new woman - lol! The only downside, and it is definitely one I can handle, is that I woke up badly engorged and leaking everywhere because I didn't pump when I should have. Putting ds to sleep, then going to pump.
 
Slammer- thank you for asking, she seems to be doing MUCH better. No more inconsolable screaming for hours. She still spits up quite a bit and will still get a little fussy from time to time but the medicine makes a huge difference!
You sound just like how I was today! I was feeling major regret and thinking "I was not cut out to be a mom" because Lillian was just crying and screaming and wouldn't take a bottle, didn't calm after a bath, cuddling didn't help, I had to set her in the swing and go to the back of the house for a few min. She finally took a small amount of milk and then napped for almost 3 hours. I just cried with her most of the time. I always feel better after I'm able to vent to dh and he reassures me, but in the moment it is HARD. you are doing a good job even if it doesn't feel like it, you don't have to be perfect or have it all together :)

Ally- oh, I'm sorry it's gotten worse! I can't imagine how painful and frustrating that is. Hopefully you guys won't have to use it, but it's smart to research formulas ahead of time just in case. I hope you don't need surgery.

Newbie- I admire anyone who works while having a newborn. I really don't know how I would do it. Yay for spring break though!

Literati- I hear you on being wiped! I hope you can somehow catch a few mins of rest at least

Angel- ugh that's exactly how it was with Lillian and I for about 3 hours straight this afternoon! We ran out of gas drops and when I used gripe water most of it just ran out of her mouth and she choked a little so it didn't even really help. It's so frustrating when nothing helps and they are inconsolable and in pain.
Also I completely get the same way with dh! I have to ask him to change her diaper usually, although he is pretty good about mostly taking over feedings in the evenings. Even knowing they will help if we ask, it would be nice for them to step in when baby needs to be calmed or diaper changed and just do it like we do.
girl...I know you weren't talking to me but you literally described how it is for me! Lillian does the same with the kicking and pushing me and I've also cried out "I don't know what you want!" And plenty times cried with her. It has started to get better the last week or two since she's started smiling and cooing more, and I finally feel like I'm bonding with her. You are not alone and I'm glad to see someone else has felt the same way!

Pompey- don't be hard on yourself! I think I have less patience than you and I have one to deal with haha. I imagine it'll get so much better the older Jamie gets and he can begin interacting with Anabella, but I'm sure it's hard right now while he's little.
I'm ready for more of a routine too! We have a pretty good night routine but days are pretty unpredictable.

Newbie- yay for all that sleep! It really does feel amazing doesn't it!

I started pumping every 2 hours on Friday as much as I can (weekends I can do 2-3 hours, weekdays when I'm alone with Lillian it's not as consistent) and had been getting nothing. I mean I was completely dried up for the past week or two. Today I was hand expressing in between pumps and got quite a few little drops! Not enough to collect or anything but it's progress and encourages me to keep trying. I've continued the nasal spray and fenugreek/blessed thistle drink and am trying to drink more water. Figured I would give this a go for a few weeks and if I can even replace a couple formula feeds with breast milk it'll be worth it! It is definitely a lot of work though but I'm quite stubborn haha
 
newbie- sounds exhausting! but glad you are enjoying work. im jealous of your stretch of sleep!

slammer- my night was like that last night! honestly it was so tough. I just wanted isa to shut up and be quiet. I think its normal to feel so upset etc. I cried last night too and just felt in such an awful mood. Feels like everyone is this thread is having some difficult times! at least we are all in it together!

lit- i think it's actually good for men to work. My dh would go mad if he had to stay home all day and night and look after isa. I don't think men have the same patience and tolerance so maybe it is best your dh is back at work. You will manage as you are a super dooper mum!
thats a shame again about your dh's migraine! i hope you got some time to shower etc.

angel- had awful night too. sendin you a big hug. It can be so hard at times! Im sorry about your dh, maybe it would be best to tell him what you expect from him. Normally my dh can tell when i am struggling and he takes isa off me for a while, and change him etc. But there are times when i have to wake him and ask for a hand

pomp- sorry you are so tired. Isa has no real routine. my mum said breastfed babies are less likely to have one. Every day and night is different with isa but i guess if i wrote down his timings etc there may be a pattern.

vrogers- hoping milk comes in for you. Isa does the kicking thing too and i am the same as you, i get upset and say i don't know what you want!


afm- had appt had breast clinic. They scanned my breast and said there is another abscess with fluid in it, a bit deeper. But rather than surgey they want to see if it will heal on its own. They have been giving me the wrong anti-biotic so they put me on the "right one" and i;ll be back in a week for a re-scan to see if its gone down. if not, they will try to drain, and then surgery will be last resort.So fingers crossed it will heal up with the new anti-biotics. i am not in any pain or anything, just a little uncomfortable and i can still breastfeed for now.

i had a horrid night last night, Isa was up from 11.30pm to 4am! and he had a few short sleeps in that period but i was just losing it. every time i settled him and he slept he would wake shortly after. i don't know what was wrong. but i hope tonight is better, i am truely exhausted!

i hope all you ladies are feeling more rested today and that we have well behaved babies today!
 
I will properly respond a little later but I had what I think is a breakthrough in getting Melody to sleep in her bassinet and I'm so excited I have to share with someone who can properly appreciate my excitement :haha:

This morning i decided to try to put Melody into her bassinet after her 5-6am feeding instead of back in bed with me. I had made some modifications - rolled blanket under mattress to give a little slope and I had wrapped a soft fuzzy blanket tightly around the mattress like a fitted sheet (I know it's not exactly SIDS safe but I also know the mattress is hard and the regular cotton sheets cold). That didn't work. A few minutes later she was thrashing around and crying.

I picked her up and immediately she passed out again. I put her on my bed and she stayed asleep. So I figure that it's not that she has to be held. Out of curiosity I pull my pillow case off my pillow and put it over her mattress like a fitted sheet and try again 30 minutes later. This time she thrashed around for 1-2 minutes and then once she got her face turned she snugglednit against the pillow case and passed out! Granted she was fully asleep when I put her in there but she slept another 40 minutes in the basinet (on top of the time she was sleeping in my bed) before waking up! And she didn't wake up screaming like she usually does. Just happy awake!! It's amazing

I suspect it's a combination of my smell and the feel of the material. Our sheets are "modal" and are really soft.

I'm going to test this out throughout the day. Keep fx for me that it keeps working!!
 
Angel - that is very interesting that M would sleep in the bassinet when your pillowcase was in it. Violet also just won't stay asleep in the bassinet (especially at night) at all but the minute I put her next to me she settles right down.

VRogers - so glad the medication is helping Lillian so much! Sorry you have also questioned if you are cut out for this. I am sure most of us have felt the same at times.

Ally - I truly hope this really is the "right" antibiotic now! You poor thing. You deserve this to all be over.
Sorry you had an awful night.
I agree it is usually good for men to work.
I didn't get a shower, and haven't showered since Friday probably. The only way I will get a shower is if DH is actually home and healthy this evening, which I have no faith in, so we will see. Hygiene is a thing of the past for me haha.

AFM - I had a very dark day yesterday. It was my worst day of parenthood ever probably. I would never admit the thoughts that crossed my mind. It was not a good day to be alone with no help. I honestly wish there were a family member who would just take dd1 for an entire week because I am so fed up with her. I am going to try and see if I can get together with someone today because I honestly think I might end up in a psychiatric facility if I spend one more day by myself with two kids.
 
LL - Oh your post just made me tear up. I am so sorry you are having such a hard time of it, especially with DD1 :hugs: Is there anyone who can offer you some support aside from your DH? Have you spoke to your parents about how you are feeling? Do you have any friends around who could take her for an afternoon? What about a daycare for her? If you continue to feel as low as you sound, I would strongly recommend you see a Dr. You poor thing :hugs:

Angel - that's a result on the bassinet! Lets hope it wasn't a one off fluke and Melody will continue to settle in there. Sometimes something as simple as our smell could make all the difference.

Ally - I really hope the new antibiotics do the trick for you. My goodness, you so deserve a break from this. What a nightmare night you had last night, as he just wide awake or was he unsettled in that time? We've had a few similar nights, but thankfully not for a while!

vrogers - I really admire your determination with expressing. It must be demoralising to get nothing out and I really hope your persistence pays off. You deserve that at the very least!

newbie - yay for a nice long stretch of sleep, lets hope it continues!

AFM - I got Jamie weighed again today and he is now 10lb 9oz and hovering between the 50th and 75th centiles. That is a relief after he dropped a full centile last week. He has put on almost a pound in a week. I put him in the cutest batman sleepsuit today, pic to follow!
 
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