Heloo y'all!!! How is everyone??
Firstly...CONGRATU-FLIPPIN-LATIONS Emzy on feeling better and not puking anymore!! Soooo pleased for you!
Just sat here in my hotel room while DH has gone out for a run for an hour or so...it has taken me all this time to read all the pages i've missed!
Ladies...if i'm honest i'm a little scared/worried.....I had my scan last Friday (18th) and today my mobile has rung twice (at 11am and 3pm UK time) but because i took my voicemail off there's no message and the number came up as blocked. Anyway no-one ever calls my mobile (i usually use my work phone when giving my number out) and I am now worried that it's the Dr's surgery that have been trying to contact me.
I have literally been in a daze all day today and thinking the worse.....I am trying to tell myself that it could be someone else (I'm registered with a recruitment agency and they called me a couple of weeks ago about a job and it could be them calling again about a job...)
Anyway it's now the weekend and the Dr is closed so i guess i just have to block it from my mind but would the Drs be calling me if there was nothing to worry about? Would they call me to say my bloods came back but everything is normal?????
I am really scared and i just feel like i can't wait to get home to put my mind at ease......
Also.....forgot to take my happy pill last night, i have slept awful since i have been here (up EVERY hour last night and eventually woke up at 4am and didn't get back to sleep til 6am and slept 30 mins then)......i'm still suffering headaches and my vision has gone back to being all fuzzy on the left side. I am seeing people walking around with their coffee mugs and all i want is caffeine! I nneeeeeeed caffeine! I'm kinda putting the way i feel down to the shift in the time zone and the lack of sleep but i really just want some peace of mind that everything is ok with the bloodwork etc. I just don't know what i'll do if something is wrong.
DH is being so so so so cute and because of that i keep crying coz i just keep thinking that i don't deserve him and that something is gonna go wrong because i don't deserve to be pregnant
I know this sounds really stupid and i know in my normal state of mind i would give myself a reality check but the way that i feel at the moment, at this precise moment is i can't help but think this isn't gonna work out and that DH will leave me and i'll be all on my own.
Can missing one day of my anti-d's really do this to me? If i am like this after 1 day what will i be like when i come off them completely? I have to come off by 20 weeks.....scared and confused and tired........
sorry for the waffle girls. Miss you all much and glad i have you to lean on
gonna try having a nap now.....
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