Allie - I have not commented on your decision that you have to make, because it would be so hard for me to make that decision myself. Personally I would always go for vaginally, BUT I did not experience a bad tear, so I can see that that is very scary. I have no idea if any of it makes any difference, but have you looked into positions during pushing that may help reduce the risk of tearing? I think if you knew that you wouldnt tear badly again, from what I read in your posts, you would go vaginally every time. I dont know how flexible your doctor is. Mine was you can be on your back or your side and it bothered me for a long time as I had read the more vertical you are the less chance of tearing (I had only 2nd degree tear, but I was mad I tore at all, silly, I know) Also using a warm cloth during labor on your perineum is supposed to help, but you need someone to help with that.
Im so sorry that there isnt an easy answer and I hope in a way baby will just make that decision for you and come on its own and you will see how it goes in the moment.