Honey, I was the same. I didn't really believe until I saw the HB again on a 10 week scan. And all through my pregnancy, I never really relaxed. I had a special midwife and I remember saying to her when I was almost due that I wouldn't relax until I had my baby in my arms. Little did I know that's only the start - I still worry about something going wrong and losing J. I think I always will in an abstract way. I'm looking at him napping now on the monitor and worrying that his face is too close to the net sides of the travel cot!
Big hugs to you - I found this particular time so hard, the first few weeks after BFP and before the first scan. I expected to find the 2ww hard, but it was a surprise to me that I didn't feel better once I knew I was pregnant.
Xxxx