Just wish I could enjoy my little family

[baileybubs]

Hey everyone

Bit of a pointless thread, I just want to write this down I think coz I know it's all normal and will get better soon but I just want to feel as happy as everyone else about our new family. I love my son and my daughter so much but right now I am in so much pain and feeling upset about my sons birth that I am finding it hard to be as happy as I should be.
My stitches make me cry through pain on a daily basis, my boobs are rock hard and painful, I feel guilty over my decision to FF, my back hurts from sitting in weird positions due to stitches, I'm scared to poop, it's hard to sit myself down without wincing in pain and I just generally feel crappy! But most of all I just want to be able to look after my children properly and I can't.

I know part of this is sleep deprivation and baby blues but I just can't wait til I can get up and pick my son up without assistance, and maybe go out for a walk in this beautiful weather with my babies! I feel like I can't say any of this to anyone coz they all expect me to be so happy.

 

[slg76]

I'm glad to hear you know it will be better soon. Hope you have a fast recovery!

 

[Krissykat1006]

Isn't it funny how most people think being a new mom is sunshine and roses?? Its rough work!

For the pooping I took dulcease (sp?) stool softner cause lets be honest, pooping can be brutal at this point. With my first it wasn't with my second...jebus. I also had the painful back and a crick in my neck from looking down at the new baby. That will eventually work itself out, ask the hubby for a little back rub now and then to work those muscles out! You're going to be down for the count for a few weeks, you just had a baby and there are some women who bounce back like super woman ( I applaud them ) and then those of us who need a little extra time. Its ok, you will be able to start functioning the way you are wanting to before long. Right now just take it slow, and don't listen to people telling you that you should be perfectly capable of doing everything. You have a less than week old baby, its going to take some time to heal and get into a routine. Don't beat yourself up over anything. Once you are able to get out of the house and get into that sunshine your mood will improve. If you continue to feel sad and depressed after 3-4 weeks just give your doctor a call and let him know. You'll be back in action soon Momma, enjoy that sweet little bundle!

 

[baileybubs]

Thanks ladies, I think half my problem is I'm just impatient!! I want everything to be how I want it now lol. Plus the pain isn't helping, irony is I wanted a vbac so I could avoid a painful recovery and be able to look after my 1 year old properly again but this recovery feels worse than after my EMCS last year!

Thanks for the tips krissykat, I think I see these superwoman types who are fine by the next day and just wish that were me!

 

[tristansmum]

I totally know how you feel. I had a much desired vbac last year. Although I'm so happy I got my vbac the recovery was so hard! Omg the stitches!!!! I had second degree tear from shoulder dystocia and it hurt so much. I was so swollen down there too. I remember thinking why did none of my friends warn me! The poo was so scary too. I think I went Day 5. It wasn't actually as bad as I thought it would be. I held a pad against my stitches and just pushed really slowly. I'd say try eating a bunch of fruit and let it kinda slip out lol. But it will get easier. By 2 weeks I was back to normal really x

 

[baileybubs]

I've already managed to go to the loo a couple of times but I haven't been since Thursday now so I think the iron tablets are bunging me up now! Hopefully it won't be as bad as I'm expecting!

Glad to know I'm not the only one who didn't think of what the reality of a vbac might be! It great I managed to get it of course but I never thought that it might lead to another painful recovery, silly of me I guess!

 

[tristansmum]

Not silly! I was the same. Just focusing on not having a section! My recovery from vbac was quicker for certain but I know where I'd rather have stitches! I think I posted on here around about the same time about the pain and will it get easier... And it did ofcoarse! X

 

[slg76]

Are you keeping an ice pack In your panties? A must! If you used small ice chips they form to you and are more comfortable. Are you taking your pain medicine regularly? Don't let it wear off. Hang in there.

 

[baileybubs]

Thanks ladies, I've actually woke up this morning with it suddenly feeling much better! Strange how it can go from feeling awful to much better so quickly and for seemingly no reason!

Sig good idea about the ice chips I'll have to see if I can get some. I have a mouldable ice pack but of course when it first comes out of the freezer it's solid lol!

Tristans mum oh yeah I definately know where I would prefer to have stitches!!! Hopefully this time next week though I'll be saying it was worth it for a shorter recovery.

 

[Krissykat1006]

Glad to hear

 

[MrsNorthman]

Its amazing as my lo is now 10 months and you totally brought back all the memories, I felt the exact same way as you, both times and I had natural drug free births but also had stitches both times. Horrendous and I had piles as well, I remember going to bed with an ice pack down there a few times as the swelling and pain

Second time was terrible as you have a toddler as well as a baby but you know what it does get better and I'm glad to hear you are starting to feel a bit better already. I was just on the dailymail looking at picts of Bille from TOWIE out with the new baby shopping and looking amazing, I really dont know how some people do it, but going to a shopping centre was last thing I wanted to do, tooke me months to come out of the jogging bottoms