Lack of intimacy & dtd
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lexus15
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Well ladies as I guessed, I started af this weekend after dtd once this cycle.. was sad as I am each month at failing but I didn't expect anything different 
Interesting points made about using donor sperm, but tbh I would prefer my babies to be with my oh than use a donor but I totally understand other ladies views on this and would not dismiss this idea myself if it came to it. We have our fs checkup appt tomorrow to discuss ivf, however I plan to ask about tests for my oh's lack of sex drive.
Don't think oh has erectile dysfunction as he maintains it when we do dtd but who knows? What's weird is that we have a fairly happy relationship, laugh & joke around & even cuddle up in bed, but that's it, no further unless more times I initiate it..arghh! Why couldn't 't I end up with a man that wanted lots of sex?
Interesting points made about using donor sperm, but tbh I would prefer my babies to be with my oh than use a donor but I totally understand other ladies views on this and would not dismiss this idea myself if it came to it. We have our fs checkup appt tomorrow to discuss ivf, however I plan to ask about tests for my oh's lack of sex drive.
Don't think oh has erectile dysfunction as he maintains it when we do dtd but who knows? What's weird is that we have a fairly happy relationship, laugh & joke around & even cuddle up in bed, but that's it, no further unless more times I initiate it..arghh! Why couldn't 't I end up with a man that wanted lots of sex?
2have4kids
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Briss, is the arginine to help him get/maintain a woody?
Briss
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I think it's more about getting him "inspired" to be bothered to get a woody 
I have been giving him 500 everyday but it does not seem to work, so now I increased his maca to 3 gm every day and really want to see whether larger dose of arginine can make a difference
I have been giving him 500 everyday but it does not seem to work, so now I increased his maca to 3 gm every day and really want to see whether larger dose of arginine can make a difference
2have4kids
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It's absolutely ridiculous that the inspiration doesn't come simply by snuggling up to you. Back in the day where men had to go outside and work hard they often came back home to wife with a veracious multifaceted appetite. Now, we come home and he's got a headache or too tired Was is the exercise? Should we be getting hamster wheels in the house to rev things up a notch for these guys?
Briss
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I think most men feel "inspired" all the time but only a few can feel the same about their long term partner and in a baby making context. Over the last couple of years we had so many arguments in bed over positions, length etc so it seems to be getting trickier and trickier to get him inspired. We still love each other and kiss and hug each other all the time, there is a lot of touching going on but not that much goes further
I think you are right arginine seems to also make erections stronger "The usual dosage of supplemental Arginine employed for the treatment of Male Infertility is 4,000 – 8,000 mg (4 – 8 grams) per day. An average dosage of Arginine for the enhancement of Sexual Performance is 5,000 mg (5 grams) taken approximately 45 minutes prior to expected sexual activity" Natural sources of arginine include nuts, gelatin, chocolate, brown rice, oatmeal, raisins, sunflower/sesame seeds, whole-wheat bread, and protein-rich foods.
I think you are right arginine seems to also make erections stronger "The usual dosage of supplemental Arginine employed for the treatment of Male Infertility is 4,000 – 8,000 mg (4 – 8 grams) per day. An average dosage of Arginine for the enhancement of Sexual Performance is 5,000 mg (5 grams) taken approximately 45 minutes prior to expected sexual activity" Natural sources of arginine include nuts, gelatin, chocolate, brown rice, oatmeal, raisins, sunflower/sesame seeds, whole-wheat bread, and protein-rich foods.
this all sounds so familiar, only my dh is only31! you would think at that age his sex drive would be roaring! last week was my o week and the day that i got the positive opk he didnt "feel like it and was not in the mood" i had everything all set up... lingerie, candles..and i stood half naked infront of him begging him and he got so angry.. he yelled, i yelled.. i made it worse because i begged...and what makes me really upset is that he did not seem to care that this was my peak day of fertility and it would have been my best chance and he didnt feel like it--he is studying for a big test to upgrade his skills....but still come on...make a sacrafice...theres been times when he wanted sex and i didnt but i still went along with it...
it seems to be the same thing some of you are saying...that they say they want a child but when it comes down to it...how badly do they want it if you can hardly get enough bd'ing out of them in a week to have a healthy chance?
i guess maybe since i found out that he was interested in having kids (the topic has been brought up over the years but i never really got a straight answer out of him) finally when i hit 30 i told him this is it i want kids and idont want to regret not trying to have one or 2..so this was back in august...we have been trying 4 months but usually most months i only got him to bd 2 times in the fertile week... he doesnt like feeling like a baby making machine/sperm bank.
i would still be angry with him, but i decided its christmas and i should try to make an effort to be normal..and its not a good time to be fighting.... i am still angry at him but am not showing it.... i want a child so badly and am worried that i cant have any..everyone around me is pregnant or already have kids.
hopefully by now some of you on this post have conceived! good luck, baby dust to you all and Merry Christmas!
it seems to be the same thing some of you are saying...that they say they want a child but when it comes down to it...how badly do they want it if you can hardly get enough bd'ing out of them in a week to have a healthy chance?
i guess maybe since i found out that he was interested in having kids (the topic has been brought up over the years but i never really got a straight answer out of him) finally when i hit 30 i told him this is it i want kids and idont want to regret not trying to have one or 2..so this was back in august...we have been trying 4 months but usually most months i only got him to bd 2 times in the fertile week... he doesnt like feeling like a baby making machine/sperm bank.
i would still be angry with him, but i decided its christmas and i should try to make an effort to be normal..and its not a good time to be fighting.... i am still angry at him but am not showing it.... i want a child so badly and am worried that i cant have any..everyone around me is pregnant or already have kids.
hopefully by now some of you on this post have conceived! good luck, baby dust to you all and Merry Christmas!
Briss
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DJH, I feel for you, but I agree fighting just makes it worse. I made this mistake, am approaching O and was all over my DH this weekend and still nothing. apparently there was a short window when he felt like it but I was busy working (basically just 1.5 hours I urgently needed to send some documents out) and if I'd approached him during this window we would have had sex. now how would I know that? we have not DB for 3 weeks now, unlike my DH I have healthy sex drive and am going mad... also, just thinking that we are missing my fertile window made me furious so we had a major argument so now not only I have no BD but our Christmas is also ruined.
chickenchaser
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Hi Ladies, my sex drive is much higher than my DH (he is 44, I'm 36) But I have to give him the credit he ready does try. The problem is we both work really hard, we want to bring in as much money as possible before our BFP to help pay off our mortgage. When he is tired, no matter what I do I can't inspire him. We have an agreement I can do what ever it takes to get his little guy to perform but if he refuses I can't get cross. It has become a bit of a joke that 9am on a sunday is the only day we can have sex. But this month my fertile window fell while we were both off work and relaxed so I made the most of it. I'm now 8DPO and symptom spotting like mad.
I think sometime you need to talk to your OH and find out what the problem is, I know this isn't always easy. We have been there and the tears and argument just make it worse. I have to keep in mind that he isn't with holding to hurt me. I think sometime us ladies need to remember that we are in our sexual prime in our 30's, men hit their in their late teens/early 20's. I wish you all luck and hope your DH come around.
I think sometime you need to talk to your OH and find out what the problem is, I know this isn't always easy. We have been there and the tears and argument just make it worse. I have to keep in mind that he isn't with holding to hurt me. I think sometime us ladies need to remember that we are in our sexual prime in our 30's, men hit their in their late teens/early 20's. I wish you all luck and hope your DH come around.
Briss
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we finally BD! 
not sure what did it for him, that bottle of champaign, larger dose of arginine that I have been giving him last few days, may be it's christmas spirit or he just got his conscience and realised that he's been neglecting me. anyway I am just so happy Merry Christmas everyone!
not sure what did it for him, that bottle of champaign, larger dose of arginine that I have been giving him last few days, may be it's christmas spirit or he just got his conscience and realised that he's been neglecting me. anyway I am just so happy
Merry Christmas everyone!
lexus15
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Well done Briss!
I'm angry as we've managed it once so far (wow.!) According to my cbfm I'm ov today but once again OH is not interested even though we went for our fs appt last week, he sat & listened, then agreed with the fs about dtd every other day in the week leading up to ov..(whatever, he couldn't manage that). This is so frustrating.
I'm angry as we've managed it once so far (wow.!) According to my cbfm I'm ov today but once again OH is not interested even though we went for our fs appt last week, he sat & listened, then agreed with the fs about dtd every other day in the week leading up to ov..(whatever, he couldn't manage that). This is so frustrating.
Briss
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Lexus, I am sorry Dh is not cooperating, I know how frustrating this can be. The good thing is that he went to FS and at least listened to what he is supposed to be doing may be it will just take him a little time to adjust
re arginine, although my DH is not convinced it is working cos I gave him 5 gm before we BD and he said he did not feel anything but I was actually giving him 3 gm daily as well and we BD every day this week so I am pretty sure it was working he just does not want to acknowledge it
re arginine, although my DH is not convinced it is working cos I gave him 5 gm before we BD and he said he did not feel anything but I was actually giving him 3 gm daily as well and we BD every day this week so I am pretty sure it was working he just does not want to acknowledge it
Wow Briss, that's great that you guys BDed every day this week! That's quite an improvement, isn't it? Sounds like you've got a really good chance this month! I didn't know L'Arginine could work that well.....good to know.
lexus - sorry about the BD struggles with the DH...
lexus - sorry about the BD struggles with the DH...
I feel your pain. Was so happy fertile time was over the holidays when we are both off. We work full time. Hubby works backshift me 9 til 5 so during week not always best. Needless to say not been great so far. Trying to fit it in yesterday while making dinner was not a good idea. But to full afterwards. Now he thinks he has a cold. Count to ten! We have a few days left to try this cycle fingers crossed. OH is 48 I'm 37 time running out think 50 is cutoff for him. Been trying for over 4 years. Waiting list for ICIS butt not likely to start before 2014. Rant over.
Oh my goodness i could have written some of these too! With my DH it is always 'later'. If i ask for it i don't get it, if i don't ask for it i don't get it, if i cry and beg i'm a nag and feel awful when i do have it!
Thought it was just me til i read all your messages! Makes TTC really difficult as there is never a 'right time'.
2-3 times a month? one poster said - I wish! DH already has children with previous partner so of course everyone has that - it must be you look in their eye. I do have problems with tubes and unexplained infertility.....but if only they knew!!!!
Thought it was just me til i read all your messages! Makes TTC really difficult as there is never a 'right time'.
2-3 times a month? one poster said - I wish! DH already has children with previous partner so of course everyone has that - it must be you look in their eye. I do have problems with tubes and unexplained infertility.....but if only they knew!!!!
Briss
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Zeri, I've been TTC for ages and just find testing really stressful and upsetting, seeing bfn after bfn so I stopped testing. besides my AF is never ever late, if anything it's early so there is no opportunity for me to get excited.
ladies just wanted to share re arginine. I've become a great advocate of this sup recently but I noticed that you can get a different result depending on where you buy it from. I previously used H&B's but was giving my DH only 500 every day and there was no increase in his sex drive whatsoever. more recently I bought Highernature's sup but I also increased his dose to 3000 every day before my O + 5000 40 min before BD (only managed it once) and 1000 after O. but even with 1000 my DH said yesterday that he actually feels like having sex most of the time (something he never said before!).
ladies just wanted to share re arginine. I've become a great advocate of this sup recently but I noticed that you can get a different result depending on where you buy it from. I previously used H&B's but was giving my DH only 500 every day and there was no increase in his sex drive whatsoever. more recently I bought Highernature's sup but I also increased his dose to 3000 every day before my O + 5000 40 min before BD (only managed it once) and 1000 after O. but even with 1000 my DH said yesterday that he actually feels like having sex most of the time (something he never said before!).
Suzy_Q
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OH just turned me down He's off to the sauna and that is only one BD this cycle. Oh, and that BD was really just a BJ for him and a softcup for me. I wish I could get him to take supplements but he just is not into sex, ever! I'm so frustrated. Someone, please give me some encouraging words so I don't take it out on him when he gets back... 
He's off to the sauna and that is only one BD this cycle. Oh, and that BD was really just a BJ for him and a softcup for me. I wish I could get him to take supplements but he just is not into sex, ever! I'm so frustrated. Someone, please give me some encouraging words so I don't take it out on him when he gets back... 
