Latest CC/CIO Study? What's everyones thoughts?

[Melissa_M]

I don't think people should, but I don't think people are bad parents. I think they are often misinformed about typical infant sleep behaviors.

That, to me, sounds very condescending. Okay you don't think they're bad parents but just uneducated? It's like anyone who disagrees needs to be "enlightened" and then surely they'll see how wrong they were.

 

[DLA]

I personally don't think it does harm but I also don't think it's for everybody. That being said, just like weaning, BFing, and all the other parenting topics, these cookie cutter answers don't fit in reality. All babies and moms are different, it's not one size fits all. Making decisions like that depends on the babies age, demeanor, health, environment, mom ect. There are so many factors! It's not as black and white as people want to make it.

 

[Melissa_M]

I personally don't think it does harm but I also don't think it's for everybody. That being said, just like weaning, BFing, and all the other parenting topics, these cookie cutter answers don't fit in reality. All babies and moms are different, it's not one size fits all. Making decisions like that depends on the babies age, demeanor, health, environment, mom ect. There are so many factors! It's not as black and white as people want to make it.

Exactly. GRAY area

Live and let live.

 

[charleosgirl]

Crying imo is just as bad for the parents as well as the baby. Listening to LO cry and seeing tears on her face is horrible.x

 

[Ozzieshunni]

I don't think people should, but I don't think people are bad parents. I think they are often misinformed about typical infant sleep behaviors.

That, to me, sounds very condescending. Okay you don't think they're bad parents but just uneducated? It's like anyone who disagrees needs to be "enlightened" and then surely they'll see how wrong they were.

Once again, my words are being read into. Doctors, HVs, family members telling new parents what they are SUPPOSED to be doing. This is what I mean by misinformed.

 

[Melissa_M]

I don't think people should, but I don't think people are bad parents. I think they are often misinformed about typical infant sleep behaviors.

That, to me, sounds very condescending. Okay you don't think they're bad parents but just uneducated? It's like anyone who disagrees needs to be "enlightened" and then surely they'll see how wrong they were.

Once again, my words are being read into. Doctors, HVs, family members telling new parents what they are SUPPOSED to be doing. This is what I mean by misinformed.

Okay fair enough. But how is doctors, HVs, family members telling new parents to CIO any different from you telling them they are not supposed to be CIO?

 

[Ozzieshunni]

I don't think people should, but I don't think people are bad parents. I think they are often misinformed about typical infant sleep behaviors.

That, to me, sounds very condescending. Okay you don't think they're bad parents but just uneducated? It's like anyone who disagrees needs to be "enlightened" and then surely they'll see how wrong they were.

Once again, my words are being read into. Doctors, HVs, family members telling new parents what they are SUPPOSED to be doing. This is what I mean by misinformed.

Okay fair enough. But how is doctors, HVs, family members telling new parents to CIO any different from you telling them they are not supposed to be CIO?

I think that all mothers need to listen to their own inner thoughts. If it feels wrong, it must be wrong.

 

[youngmommy2]

I don't think people should, but I don't think people are bad parents. I think they are often misinformed about typical infant sleep behaviors.

That, to me, sounds very condescending. Okay you don't think they're bad parents but just uneducated? It's like anyone who disagrees needs to be "enlightened" and then surely they'll see how wrong they were.

Once again, my words are being read into. Doctors, HVs, family members telling new parents what they are SUPPOSED to be doing. This is what I mean by misinformed.

agreed.. everybody and their mother told me to let my son cio.. f the hell no!!

 

[DLA]

Example of black and white thinking both ways:

When my son was 4-6 months, I wouldn't consider letting him CC or CIO and I got many comments like: "Crying it out won't hurt him, if you don't let him cio he will be clingy and dependant, you will never get any rest"
ME: I don't care, I don't feel comfortable doing that and I'm not going to go against my instincts....

When my son was around 8 months old and I did let him CIO after trying everything else, I got some comments like "Crying causes brain daimage, you are just teaching him not to trust you, it's cruel"
ME: again, I don't care, I'm his mother and I know 100% it's not damaging him and is in his best interest, he needs to sleep! He cried more when he didn't get proper sleep!

No matter what, someone always objects. Just do what's right for YOUR baby, you know best..

 

[SjandPeanut]

The study does Not say that letting a baby cry it out is safe. I fact the nhs link I provided clearl say the study should not be interpreted that it is safe to leave a baby crying all night ( cry it out).

The study only deals with controlled crying and camping out-neither of which are considered as CiO. It also says from 7 months and they don't know how safe it is for babies younger than this.

My son isnt a great sleeper, but even leaving him to cry while I pee tears me apart.

 

[Melissa_M]

I don't think people should, but I don't think people are bad parents. I think they are often misinformed about typical infant sleep behaviors.

That, to me, sounds very condescending. Okay you don't think they're bad parents but just uneducated? It's like anyone who disagrees needs to be "enlightened" and then surely they'll see how wrong they were.

Once again, my words are being read into. Doctors, HVs, family members telling new parents what they are SUPPOSED to be doing. This is what I mean by misinformed.

Okay fair enough. But how is doctors, HVs, family members telling new parents to CIO any different from you telling them they are not supposed to be CIO?

I think that all mothers need to listen to their own inner thoughts. If it feels wrong, it must be wrong.

Completely agree Mothers know best. (for their own children that is )

 

[Ozzieshunni]

What I mean is, anyone I've talked to says they get a sick feeling or they feel upset when their children cry. It's biologically built into mothers to respond to that.

 

[Melissa_M]

What I mean is, anyone I've talked to says they get a sick feeling or they feel upset when their children cry. It's biologically built into mothers to respond to that.

Oh....so I wasn't meant to agree with you?? haha

I know my girls better than anyone and I know when they're crying/whining because they're TIRED. Joni doesn't even want to be held when she's tired, she just pushes me away and literally tries to get into her crib. So when I put her down and she's crying softly or whining I know she's just a little overtired and will go to sleep in a few minutes. Nothing feels wrong about that

 

[DaisyBee]

I honestly don't care what a study says to or for cc or CIO. Unless YOU are in my house you have no right to judge, or even care about my decision as a mom. Every single child is different, living in different situations, with different temperaments, with different needs. And I'm sorry but whoever it was that claimed that this is no different then cancer... Really?

Everyone parents differently. Just because some choose to breastfeed or formula feed or share a bed or put a baby in a crib or send a child to preschool or never have them leave home. Really that's not up for others to decide is it? I CHOOSE to limit tv for my kids ( meaning it can be left off for days and as infants they don't watch it at all). Not because a study says it's bad. But because I don't think it's good for my kids who get very overstimulated by everything in life. Just because someone else let's their child watch tv... I don't judge them or have Any opinion on that parenting choice. It's just a different decision. Why is sleep training any different?

 

[Ozzieshunni]

What I mean is, anyone I've talked to says they get a sick feeling or they feel upset when their children cry. It's biologically built into mothers to respond to that.

Oh....so I wasn't meant to agree with you?? haha

I know my girls better than anyone and I know when they're crying/whining because they're TIRED. Joni doesn't even want to be held when she's tired, she just pushes me away and literally tries to get into her crib. So when I put her down and she's crying softly or whining I know she's just a little overtired and will go to sleep in a few minutes. Nothing feels wrong about that

What you've described is not CIO. You are there. CIO is leaving an infant alone in a room to sob until they fall asleep.

 

[Melissa_M]

I wasn't saying I do CIO Just letting you know that sometimes bedtime involves a bit of crying and I know her enough to know she's just tired....so she does sob herself to sleep sometimes. And it doesn't feel "wrong".

 

[Ozzieshunni]

*sigh* I give up. Backing away from the crazy study now.

 

[DaisyBee]

And yes I do get a sick feeling when my children cry. I started cc with each of my girls knowing it was going to be the toughest thing ever, but just because things are tough doesn't mean they are wrong. My toddler cries when I don't give her my makeup. And honestly it was worse crying then cc.... Do I just let her have my makeup? If she wants ice cream instead of a chicken sandwich do I give in because I can't handle listening to her cry?? Kids cry... When they are wet, hungry, tired, frustrated, bored, annoyed with the tag in their shirt and can't tell you, when they can't communicate that they want a pear vs a peach. Jordan cries daily now as she can't figure out how to crawl. My heart hurts when she does that. But I'm not going to pick her up and rescue her. She is teaching herself how to crawl. The times when i have picked her up she cries worse as she is upset that i picked her up and messed up her concentration. No one else can do it for her. Just like she taught herself how to fall asleep. And you know what... I think the confidence and pride in herself once she learns to crawl is similar to what I noticed after she started sleeping without my help. She only cried one night for cc. There has been less crying total in my house since cc then in the one day before I started cc. So that sick feeling when you hear them cry. Well hours of crying a day when they are so tired and beside themselves - that feels worse then 45 minutes of mad crying for cc to me.

 

[Melissa_M]

*sigh* I give up. Backing away from the crazy study now.

 

[whit.]

I'm going to have to say you have to do what feels right. If I left my baby to cry and felt guilty, there is probably a reason I feel guilty and wouldn't be right for us.

Also, thought it was quite funny this article was linked in the middle of the original article.

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/health/...left-to-cry-feel-stressed-research-finds.html