Lesbian couples TTC

[sparklela]

Hi all...

okay, i'm back for round #2. I got a nasty bout of strep throat (how on earth did I get this as an adult!?) early in my cycle, which I was concerned would throw my cycle off whack-- but low and behold, all signs still pointed toward O on Day 14... and I did get positive OPKs! Anway, I had to go to Zurich this time because it was our month to travel, and our potential pop works in theater so he travels a bit-- either I went to him this month, or it couldn't happen! (Going to Zurich is not as exotic as it sounds, it's only a few hours on the train.) Anyway... the trip was literally 24 hours, during which we had two inseminations, the night before O and the morning of ovulation day (I think I had either just O'd or it happened later that afternoon-- I get some ovulation sensation but in truth, I never know if it's during, or afterwards!) But anyway, I think that timing is pretty darn good, so I'm hopeful.

I think this time around, I'm definitely avoiding thinking about it all, if at all possible! My partner asked me today how i'm feeling (Day O+2)... and i said quite honestly that I think I can't feel anything, or if I do, it wouldn't be anything that I couldn't "explain away". I think distraction this time will be key-- and if I notice things, just let them be! The talking about it last time killed me when I didn't end up preggo. In the meanwhile there's music to be learned (I'm a musician) and our wedding(s) to plan, so finding other topics of concentration shouldn't be too hard.

Also-- this month, we tried a slightly different insemination tactic. We still used instead cups, but I actually withdrew a little of the semen into a needleless syringe first, and then injected it in the direction of my cervix-- we thought that the momentum of the sperm might help them find the right spot. Then the cup with the rest of the sperm was inserted, there was a little "fun" to encourage good swimming, and then I hung with my upper body off the bed a little while (halfway upside-down), thinking that the position might help gravity out a little bit. (I realize this sounds crazy, but you have to admit-- it's a funny picture! And seemed to tilt my pelvis a bit.) Does anybody think that the added velocity from shooting sperm from the syringe is helpful? I have honestly no idea, but all I can think is, "they have so far to swim!" And who knows, maybe they need a little boost...

Okie dokie! That's my long update, hope y'all enjoyed it, and don't mind my ramblings! AF should arrive around the 22nd or 23rd... but hopefully not!

 

[wipednwired]

LeahMSta - Welcome! I have just the opposite situation with my partner - she's not interested in tracking all the details, but does listen patiently. I am the more precise or 'on it' one in the relationship, and the first to carry (I'm 3 years older - age before beauty, LOL), and she only gets super-attentive when the pregnancy pee sticks come out...

MrsMM24 - Just clicked on your pregnancy journal - you are an inspiration. I hope your crazy temps just decide to stay up up up.

waiting4bub - any update? I think 8 DPO is just too early to test. Resist, resist, resist!

sparklela - I'm with you... here's hopes that spring will bring the stork...

AFM - we were in Italy on vacation for the last 10 days, so I actually stopped temping for a few days, because I wanted to relax. I find it hard to go back to sleep after temping, especially if I am not in my own bed. I didnt' get sore boobs this month, which is odd, because it's the norm for me post-O. The short of it is that AF arrived on Sunday. I was expecting her on Saturday, which was to be a night out, and I really wanted to have a glass of prosecco IF I was not pregs... So I took a test - at 13DPO, and it was brilliantly negative. Bright white nada in the square. Then I noticed spotting, and thought, what the hell, I'm having the prosecco. It's hard being the only person who doesn't speak the language, especially amongst Italians, who speak very quickly! AF arrived first thing the next morning. It's disappointing because my ovulation signs - well, especially the fertile CFM - were so pronounced this month. And I'm pretty sure we got the donation timing bang-on, judging by the arrival of AF. I know, I know that getting everything right does not mean you'll actually conceive, but for the first time I started to feel a bit impatient. I know it's only the fourth month, and I did get pregnant the second time, but I'm 38, and why weren't the boobs sore, and maybe my progesterone is low and ....ahhh, the mania in my head!

 

[wipednwired]

sparkela - I think we were posting at the same time.

We have always used the syringe, and it did manage to get me pregnant on the second month of TTC (with one insemination), so I figure it works! I also arrange my body in peculiar ways. I practice yoga a lot, so why not do a shoulder stand for a few minutes post insemination?! Accomplish two things at the same time, LOL.

We haven't tried the cups, but we do use preseed. I have my partner insert it, but then I actually try to 'coat' my cervix with my finger (sorry TMI), so that the spermies have the best chance of entering a favourable compound as quickly as possible. So far I've been able to laze around for 30 min afterwards each time, which I guess means that I don't need the cup. Any thoughts on that? Should I be getting the cup? Why is the cup actually used?

 

[sparklela]

Hey! yeah, I think we did. Well, we are practically in the same time zone, and I guess all the North American folk aren't awake yet.

The idea of coating your cervix with the stuff is brilliant! (and not TMI at all... lol.)
I had not considered that at all... although I do insert some preseed with the applicator about 30 min beforehand. (otherwise it's totally messy-- learned that the first time.) My mucous is actually usually pretty good, but you know, I figure, the more the better. Maybe you're right, with the pressed on your cervix and shooting in with the syringe, maybe it'll catch them and help them swim through. (That was our thought by using the syringe this time, too.) Your way is probably just fine-- i mean, you got pregnant once already, right? If your issue was losing it, then at least you know the sperm are getting through and finding an egg with your method.

So, I think the cups aren't really necessary, but the upside is that you can leave them in a long time-- I'm constantly wondering how long to leave it in!. We are using that method because we had friends that used them successfully. (Um, warning, the smell is not lovely when you remove it.) They're meant to catch your period-- they fit around your cervix and then nothing can leave your body! So the only place to go is up. Also they're soft on the bottom (it's like a think sandwich baggie), which means you can kindof push it up and help the little pool of sperm get close to the mouth of your cervix. I think that's a definite plus. But what do I know?? It's all just some sort of bizarre conception guessing game.

They were a real advantage this month, since I had to go to Zurich alone to inseminate-- my partner couldn't get the time off work. After the 2nd try this month, I took the train straight home...still wearing the cup, of course, until late that night. So, when my partner came home, we had the chance that she could "press the go button" (lol-- sorry if THAT's TMI), and potentially help any sperm remaining in the cup up and on their little trip! Also she could feel involved. Since the semen was still in there, and they can survive a few days, I guess we'll never know when they travelled, if I do get pregnant. PS- I've heard that it's useful to have as many orgasms as you can when wearing the cup, because with each one, your cervix dips down into the semen, which is also super close when you wear the cups.

So, I don't know?? They might be worth a try. Can you find them in Ireland? I got mine in the states when I was home last. Although we also have german friends who have used them, so i do think they can be found on this side of the pond, with a little hunting.

Whoa, I always write too much! gotta work on shorter posts...

baby dust...

 

[wipednwired]

Ah, the Diva Cup!! At least that's what it's called in Canada - you can find them at natural food stores. I've never tried one as a tampon substitute, but I know exactly what you mean. I wondered if it was the same thing. I really doubt I can find them easily here in Ireland - they're just not that granola here. (Is 'granola' a known term outside Canada)?

Nothing on this topic is really TMI as far as I am concerned, but as a North American in Ireland, I always feel that my general personality is TMI, so I am just trying to be careful, hahaha.

The way I look at is all is this: couples who get pregnant through male to female intercourse aren't using anything very high tech, and women often get pregnant with very little effort. The cervical fluid is another issue. Sometimes I have a lot, others, not so much. I figure it's best to get more in there, as you say. We only do it 5-10 minutes before the sperm, mostly because we're out on a walk while the donor is in our house making the donation, so if I did it before, it might slip out, LOL. I will take a look online for the cup, though, because there may be instances where we have to do a 'quickie' insemination. We've spent most of our technical efforts on determining the right velocity to use in pushing the plunger! Not so slow that it dribbles, not so fast that you give the sperm the spins.

 

[sparklela]

As a north American in Germany, I *totally* sympathize on the subject of TMI!
and yes-- the word "granola" is also totally known in the states-- at least, in my circles! (I think among lesbians we are more like than not to know a few granola types, right?)

But the instead cups are only *kindof* like the diva cup! The principle is similar-- fitting onto the cervix like a diaphragm, but the difference is that the diva cup is solid (plastic? Latex? Dunno). And the instead softcups are disposable. (though some people do wash and reuse.) the disposable factor is appealing, since sterility is an issue if you want something to eventually swim through your cervix.) The have a ring at the top, and a plastic Baggie thing under, so it really is flexible-- you can push the Baggie up against your cervix from the underside.

Anyway... No guarantees with any of it, I guess! But I like the idea of trapping the little spermies with little space and little room to swim anywhere else!

But you're so right-- so many straight couples manage to get pregnant so easily by just having sperm get in the right vicinity, without making it some precisely engineered endeavor! At some point it's bound to work, I guess.

How did you land in Ireland, if you don't mind my asking? Have you been there long?

 

[MrsMM24]

Welcome and GL LEAHMSTA.... you're such a soldier! I hope you see a BFP sooner than later!!


AF has set in WIPED, so I'm out, but hoping you carry our cycle to a nice lovely BFP!

 

[Meishka]

Hi all, Ive been so busy lately! Anyway, guess what?...... I got my BFP this morning! 9dpo!!! Yippee! DW and I are so excited!!! Hoping this bean sticks!!
Good luck to everyone, all of you are amazing!! I'll still be checking in to see you all get your BFPs too!!

 

[Meishka]

Wiped wired- no worries, I disappeared for a minute there too lol!! Ok I got my BFP so now you get yours!!! Bump buddies!!
Oh and I'm the one in my pic with my back showing, my wife is facing the camera. I'm already getting a maternity shirt made with a tattoo machine on it that says " my mommy is a tattoo artist" lol!! LOVE IT!!! And of course I have to get one with a turkey baster on it...pretty sure that should be a rule for us lol. If I didn't, I might be letting down tons of lesbians everywhere lol...yup...just doing my part!! Lol

 

[laurac1988]

Hi all. Can I join? Me and DP ttc number 1! Three months so far. One chemical. Now CD1 ready for attempt three, month four x

 

[LeahMSta]

Thanks for the well wishes y'all. We are now 7dpo and I am going NUTS!!! Is it normal to become an internet scientist? I have been reading about the accuracy of EPTs and researching early sypmptoms of pregnancy for the last 2 days. I knew the wait to test would be hard but this is getting absurd. My sister jokingly suggested I cath my DW in her sleep and dip test her. What do you guys do to avoid going positively bonkers waiting to see if you got a sticky one? I may need an intervention soon.

 

[Meishka]

SPARKLA and WIPEDNWIRED- hello ladies, so I was reading your discussion about the soft cups and just wanted to let you both know that we used them this cycle, and got my BFP. There is no guarantee with them of course, but I too liked the idea of "trapping" the swimmers in there lol! We also used the pressed. My partner would put a little pressed in the cup then syringe the semen from the cup into the cup and then insert it. Since we did most of our insems at night, I would just sleep with it in and take it out in the morning. Oh and about the smell LMAO! Too funny!! I said the same thing to my wife lol! That turned my stomach the first time! Lol! I'm sorry but if that's how a man and woman smell together afterward and I was straight...I'd turn gay lol. I'm really trying to tell myself that it's just from wearing the cup all night, I don't know, I feel like I have to justify the smell somehow lol! ANYHOW- ya, the preseed and soft cup worked for us. I actually ordered mine online, so you could try that route if you can't find them where you are. Good luck ladies! I can't wait to see you get your BFPs!
On a sadder note- I don't know what to do about breaking the news to my sister, she is trying to get pregnant too and miscarried last week. My poor sister, my heart goes out to her. I'd rather me have to wait longer to get my BFP then to see her lose this one. I'm really hoping she gets another BFP as soon as she gets her cycle again I've been crying for her but at the same time happy for myself, I feel selfish or something.

 

[sparklela]

Meishka- thank you for that news! Good to hear a success story on the method I've been using.

a more general question for the others... (now that i'm in the middle of my 2 week wait and also driving myself crazy!!)

Did you all have your donor get a sperm count before you started trying?

Because... I'm suddenly paranoid (for no particular reason) that his swimmers might not swim. He was tested for STDs/HIV/Hepatitis in advance, but didn't get his sperm checked. Our timing was great this time, but I totally dread that it might not work because of him-- which would make this whole process rather frustrating and the endless attention to my health worthless... and the months of trying feel like a waste.

Anybody done this with your donor?

Thanks!

 

[wipednwired]

Hey all-

Had a busy weekend getting back into the swing of things, post vacation. Why is it that the return from the vacay always kills the relaxation buzz, because there is so much to do?! And...woke up this am with a cold, sore throat, and laryngitis. I sound like a gargoyle. I suppose I caught your strep throat, sparkela, across the Irish sea!!

We didn't get our donor's sperm tested because he already has two kids, so we figure they are strong swimmers. I mean, his youngest kid is 7 so I guess something could have happened in between, but he's only in his mid-30s. My biggest freak out was around CMV - I got tested when I was home in Toronto over Christmas, and I am negative. But here in Ireland, it seems difficult to get that test, so the donor had all the rest (HIV, all STDs, etc.). There is part of me that was relieved I didn't get pregs the first time, because that meant my body had a chance to process any rare and minor STDs that his tests didn't pick up. But I'm ready now. NOW NOW NOW.

Has anyone had their progesterone tested without great cause to get it tested? I don't want to be overly anxious, but because I had such an early m/c (5.5 weeks), I wonder if it's because there wasn't enough progesterone to make it stick. I've never had huge PMS symptoms, and it's looking like my luteal phase is 12 days, which is in the short side, but still normal. Just don't want to look back six months down the line and flagellate myself for not having tested earlier. But I don't want to let test-o-mania take over, either.

MEISHKA - you are a lovely sister. Was just thinking about the turkey baster joke the other day. I mean, WHO came up with that? The donor that can create enough semen to be sucked up by a turkey baster must be the best hydrated man on the planet! We're luck to get about 2ml!

SPARKELA - I came over to Ireland for a one year academic contract that could not be renewed, and then promptly met and fell in love with my Italian fiancee (who also came here for a job, but a more permanent one). So, we're here for now I love the better work-life balance here, and all the Wicklow hill walking...

LAURAc1988 - welcome!

LeahMSta - the reason I haven't posted for a few days is that I forced myself to NOT do anything conception related on the net, because yes, I become a total internet scientist very frequently. I think it's a natural response to having so little control over getting pregnant, while also having to be more informed than the average person who does it the old fashioned way...

 

[LeahMSta]

Thanks Wipednwired I feel like less of a freak now. AF is due here tomorrow so fingers crossed that the made it to their proper home. There are either a full assortment of early symptoms or raging PMS. I just hope the stays away!!

to all!!!

 

[Myalways829]

Oh my i have been away for a long time I see . Finals and everything have me running around crazy OH MY GOSH its just CRAZY but Congrats Meishka !!!!!!!!!! I am so happy for you , but what happen to our inbox conversation lady lol . LeahMSta Hope you get your to you !!! and everybody else

 

[LeahMSta]

Thanks Myalways829! We are now 2 days late and still seeing noting but BFN. I'm starting to get a little excited because of symptoms I see but trying to keep my feet on the ground. It is really turning me into a search engine freak. I am researching like my life depends on it. I hope if the witch is going to show she'd jut get on with it already.

 

[zekkie]

Hi peeps, this is my first ever post on this forum how are we?

So me on my mrs are ttc out first lil one and i have been reading so much info on the net. It seems even though i am female i never knew much about the female body lol..... Anyways, we have a donor but his is 50 :/ i am worried this is way to old but its the only option we have as i am black and my mrs is carrying it so we need a black donor and they are not easy to find! He is a family friend and has 4 kids, youngest is 10 and his wife miscarried twins 2 years ago...... Just wonderd if 50 is too old? does it effect sperm count and mobility etc? it dosnt seem to be alot of the stuff volume wise?!Also my mrs only has one tube due to a eptopic pregnancy 4 years ago... so we need extra strong swimmers!!

We inseminated twice last month with no success, and have inseminated twice this month.. once when we got a possitive opk and again on the day she ovulated(we think).... i think we did everything right this month, first time i gave her the goods in a syringe and the inserted a softcup lubed up with preseed and gave her an O.... the second he put it straight into a soft cup and i put it in and made her O again....

so....(sorry im ranting) does it sound like we are doing it right? also is 50 too old? and if anyone knows of any younger black donors in England holla at me lol..Cant wait for her to carry my baby

 

[LeahMSta]

Well guys, the just showed. Time to take a couple weeks off. See ya in June.

 

[sparklela]

Sorry to hear that, Leahmsta. I'll probably be there right along with you in a couple of days... temps starting to drop, hoping i'm not out for sure, but probably.

it's totally crummy how pms symptoms pretty much mimic pregnancy... a few days ago, i was sure i was pregnant. now, i think it's pms...sigh.

hopefully the next round will be the one!