Let's Help Each Other Out - TTC Immediately After Early m/c

[ERosePW]

Hi ladies, I just thought I'd start a thread here for anyone in a similar situation who would like to have some buddies and support in this next step of our journey.

My story: TTC#1 for thirteen months. On Christmas Eve, I got my first ever BFP. I'd never even seen a faint line before. All the stress of ttc and all the worries that I may not get prego, went right out the window, and my heart filled with joy and excitement. My life had changed, and my dream had come true; however, it was short-lived. Less than a week later, I began having severe cramps and very heavy bleeding. This was the same day my dr called and said my hcg tested very, very low. They knew that I was miscarrying. They did another blood test, although I already knew in my heart that it was over because these cramps were stronger than anything I'd ever had in my life, and the blood was so much that I could barely keep up with it. So my m/c happened on December 30th.

I am jumping right back on the wagon. It may sound crazy, but now that I've been pregnant, the sense of urgency to get pregnant again is even stronger than before. There's a lot of confusion and uncertainty now, for what this month even holds for me, when I will O again, will cycles be back to normal pretty quick, etc. So I thought I'd start this thread for anyone else in a similar situation that would like support, venting, Q&A, sharing stories, ideas, input, etc.

My plan is to start using OPKs in a few days since the bleeding has mostly stopped now. I started a new chart and just considered my first day of bleeding as CD1 since I don't want to wait for AF to start tracking, and I don't want to stop charting. I will track all month to see if I O, and I will be BDing throughout as well.

 

[savvysaver]

Hi everyone! This is the perfect thread for those who experienced an early miscarriage recently. We can all help each other though this.

My story: TTC #1 since early last spring. I do have some health issues including IBS. AF didn't show and I was over a week late before getting my first faint BFP on December 1st. I kept getting faint positives on the wondfo tests that week and scheduled a blood test for Wednesday which came back positive for pregnancy. Since I am on a strict diet and some meds which would need to be adjusted...plus I was leaving for a vacation they scheduled me to come back in on Monday for a second blood test. I left for my trip to Vail, CO on Tuesday and was suppose to call at 10am for my results. Unfortunately I was in the air at 10am and was unable to call until noon - well they are closed for lunch until 1pm. When you have limited cell service in the mountains it is hard to get a signal. Finally reached them at 5pm right before they closed...after the nurse yelled at me for not answering my phone or calling in before, she basically congratulated me on NOT being pregnant. I was in complete shock since I had all the symptoms. I do not remember much of the call other than her saying with numbers like 50 and 72 there was no way I was ever pregnant. I called the following day to a new OBGYN and will never go back to the other place...my DH was furious at how they spoke to me.

I stated bleeding heavily the next day, Wednesday December 11th. What a great start to my vacation. It was really bad with clots and cramps for the first five days, then seemed to be going away and then I spotted for a few days and finished on Friday the 20th. Hubby and I decided to take it easy this month since I didn't know what to expect. We decided to just BD every other day and use preseed. I did have my new doctors appointment last Friday and he confirmed that with those numbers I was pregnant and suffered a miscarriage. He said no reason to stop trying and I would ovulate again before my period came back (approximately 14 days before) and I should have my period back in 4 - 6 weeks. I now know I am able to get pregnant and I am determined to get another bfp very soon. My doctor told me I would become pregnant again mostly likely within 6 months!

There is my long story! I am here to share information, vent and help others who have unfortunately suffered an early loss.

 

[ERosePW]

So, my bleeding seems to be totally done now, with the exception of a little spotting here and there. The worst of it was Mon and Tues. Wednesday it had died down to very little, and today there's hardly anything. If this were a normal cycle, I'd be starting my Clomid tomorrow. I wish I could take it so badly since I have a feeling that 50mg dose is what helped me get prego. But I'll do as the nurse says and wait until I get a real AF.

So I guess I will start using my cheapie OPKs tomorrow. Before I started on Clomid, I always O'd early. So since I'm skipping it this month, I guess it could go either way... I could O early since no Clomid, or I could O late because of the m/c. Total mystery. But I'll start the OPKs tomorrow so that I don't miss it, just in case. I doubt it will come that early since there's probably still hcg in my body. How very sad when I think of the remnants of what might've been.

Anyway, staying positive... I really hope I O at least in the next couple of weeks.

 

[savvysaver]

Hi.

I know you think the clomid helped your chances last cycle but also remember you are more fertile following a miscarriage, so at least that is a good thing! Also I know you used robitussin last cycle...are you planning on trying that again? I have good feelings for both of us this cycle!

I invited some girls in another thread to come join us here and share their stories.

 

[ERosePW]

Oh good, I hope they will join. I'm very curious about others' ideas and feelings on this whole ttc right after m/c.

I still haven't decided on the robitussin. You're supposed to take it in the week leading up to O, and since I don't know when I'll O this time, I wouldn't know when to start it. I'm also curious to see if I'll get EWCM on my own since the clomid is what messed it up before. But I may get some anyway, to have on hand, and maybe when I see the OPKs getting darker I'll go ahead with it. I'll let you know. How about you?

Btw, an interesting tidbit... I'd heard that sometimes women will get pos OPKs when they're prego, since hcg is similar in nature to LH. So last week when my lines were so light on my HPTs, I decided to just try the OPKs for experimental purposes. I got a very obvious positive on those while I was prego. After I started miscarrying, I did another and it was negative. Pretty wild. Anyway, when I got home tonight, I went ahead and did one so that I can start tracking for O (I was gonna wait til tomorrow, but decided to get started). It's neg obviously, but I'll test from here on out to see if they start getting darker for O. I have no idea if/when I'll O, but since I O early without clomid, I don't want to miss it if it happens. I know I'm being a bit of a spazz.

EDIT
Oh, I should add...another reason I'm starting so early is because some of the ladies in the 35+ thread I'm on said they O'd within 10-14 days of their m/c. I was surprised about that. So I just want to see.

 

[savvysaver]

I would love to hear from some other girls as well. It isn't easy finding out information about miscarriages, but since I know I can conceive, I know it will happen again soon!

Makes sense about the robitussin - plus like you said it would be nice to see if you get EWCM...I never think I get any cm at all. I did not try robitussin since I really didn't check opks or anything else. I have a box of mucinex for the next cycle if needed...but I am keeping my fingers crossed that I don't! I feel very different today like some symptoms are kicking in...time will tell!

You know I remember reading a thread on testing with opk's - it started a huge debate because they don't measure hcg. But I find that very interesting that it was positive for you. What opk did you use? I know you usually use those clearblue smiley opks.

I guess I regret not using the opk's this cycle...I started to and stopped to see if it would be less stressful...but now I feel more stress because I don't know what to think or expect! Still BDing every other day with the pre-seed and keeping my fingers crossed for good luck.

I say definitely start on those opk's asap, that way you will get an accurate result this month!

 

[MissCloud]

Hi girlies

Thanks for inviting me over to this thread savvysaver. I've been feeling a bit isolated for the past few weeks.... i have only 1 real friend where i live and she has 3 beautiful kiddies, so its a little bit difficult to talk to her about this struggle i'm going through.

I guess i should sum up my 'story' for you guys:

I had my contraceptive implant removed back in may. Since then i guess it would be more accurate to say we have been NTNP as i dont chart or anything. I know roughly when i O though, and OH and i always have regular 'adventures' anyway lol.

Got my first bfp on 21st nov. First midwife appt was booked for christmas eve, and we has told our immediate family. But i woke up on the 1st dec to a lot of blood. Got a taxi to A&E and they confirmed the mc.

I have been pregnanct in the past, and lost that too. To cut a long story short...i was 15. Going through a lot of stuff. Pretty much unaware i was pg until 5 months when i lost it.
Back then i had no awareness of my own body so i have no idea how long it took me to get back to normal. That mc haunts me, but i know that there is nothing i can change about it now.

So thats me. Now i am just waiting for af to arrive, or not. Although i didnt plan on TTC per se this cycle, that is the situation i have found myself in as we did DTD around the time i might have O'd,and i have no idea how long this cycle should be to predict af. I have always been 28/29 days regular, but this month i am at day 34 with no sign of anything.

Anyway.... thanks for letting me join. Xx

 

[savvysaver]

Welcome MissCloud, I am so sorry for your loss.

Thanks for sharing your story with us, I have heard so many different things about when to expect AF, when you would ovulate, etc. I think it really is just different for everyone...which makes it so much more confusing!

Do you plan on testing soon or waiting to see what happens? I have mixed feelings about testing, I wasn't going to since I am not sure if I even ovulated yet...but I had a few symptoms start yesterday that were similar to right before I got my bfp. Just trying to stay positive and know that it will happen when the time is right for me.

 

[ERosePW]

Welcome MissCloud, we're happy to have you here. I'm so sorry for all you've been through. You seem like a very strong woman though. Thanks for sharing your story. Savvy and I really thought it would be helpful to chat with some girls who've been through similar situations as we move forward and continue TTC again.

Savvy, its great you're staying positive! I am being as optimistic as I can also. And yes, the pos OPK thing during pregnancy is VERY strange to me. They're testing for two completely different hormones, so I never knew what to think of all the things I was reading. But indeed, when I experimented while I was prego, it was an obvious positive. I didnt use the CB digital, as I didnt want to waste it. I just used a couple of the ICs that I had, and they both popped up positive. Weird, right? I would never really use an OPK to test for actual pregnancy though. Its not considered a reliable method, and I'd prefer to use a real HPT that is actually testing for hcg. But I found it interesting. Here's an article that explains the science behind it... https://www.early-pregnancy-tests.com/ovulation-test-as-pregnancy-test.html

 

[ferens06]

Hi.

I got my BFP on 21st December and was using FRERs to test. On Christmas Eve I got a strong FRER which was as dark as the control line. I went away for Christmas and came back 24 hours later to a lighter FRER and a negative digi (was positive earlier in the week). After a lot of confusion with digis flitting between positive and negatives, my FRERs got lighter and 8 days after my BFP at exactly 5 weeks I bled. Didn't last long, less than my usual AF but the brown spotting lingered a little. We DTD on New Years Day and I bled after that but hopefully I won't again.

I now feel very mixed feelings about testing early again and will definitely never use a digi again either. Though my loss happened 6 days after AF was due so I guess I'd have tested anyway.

 

[ERosePW]

Hi.

I got my BFP on 21st December and was using FRERs to test. On Christmas Eve I got a strong FRER which was as dark as the control line. I went away for Christmas and came back 24 hours later to a lighter FRER and a negative digi (was positive earlier in the week). After a lot of confusion with digis flitting between positive and negatives, my FRERs got lighter and 8 days after my BFP at exactly 5 weeks I bled. Didn't last long, less than my usual AF but the brown spotting lingered a little. We DTD on New Years Day and I bled after that but hopefully I won't again.

I now feel very mixed feelings about testing early again and will definitely never use a digi again either.

Hi ferens, thanks for joining us! First off, I'm so sorry for your loss. Everyone here can feel your pain. I can TOTALLY relate to your story. Although I never got a line as dark as the control line, they did seem to be progressing for about 3-4 days. The morning I woke up to a lighter line, I got a really bad feeling. So I took another, and it was just as light. I also got a positive digi like you did. And when I took another digi, it was negative. I tried not to think too much into it because it was a different brand, so I thought Ok, maybe less sensitive. But I had a bad feeling deep down inside, and for the next few days, my lines just stayed about the same...very light. A week after first seeing my faint BFP, I woke up to severe cramping and heavy bleeding (I was 2 days shy of being 5 weeks). The dr called with my hcg results and said it was super low, and that I'd need to come in for another test to see which direction its going, but when I told them about the heavy bleeding/cramping, they knew I was miscarrying. The m/c happened on Dec 30th. The worst lasted about two days, and then tapered off to light spotting.

Like you, I have mixed feelings about testing early, although I didnt see my BFP until 14dpo. But I will have a hard time getting excited about a faint line now, and I'll even have a difficult time getting excited about a positive digi. Sure, it will probably make me happy to see that I got prego again, but I will not allow myself any excitement until the blood tests confirm hcg is where it needs to be.

I guess it sounds like everyone in this thread so far is planning on jumping right back on the wagon again. Honestly, I feel even more desperate to get prego again, now that I know I can, and now that I know what it feels like.

 

[ferens06]

I had the same feeling as soon as I got the BFP, I wasn't particularly happy or anything just instantly worried as I knew it wouldn't last. Funny how instinct tells you isn't it? I'm in the UK so it's not a done thing to have blood draws here unless it's a suspected ectopic pregnancy or you're a bit further on.

They say after a chemical pregnancy you can be more fertile than usual, so hopefully we will get there this month. It's hard to have all that hope snatched away.

 

[ERosePW]

Yes, funny how women's instinct just kicks in, and we have those feelings... I had been waiting a whole year to see a BFP. I couldn't believe it when I saw it. I was happy and shocked and hopeful... but at the same time, I instanly started praying, PLEASE let this line get darker.

So, do you think they'd do a blood draw next time for you? Now that you've had a CP? I would think that would be a good reason to get you in for that next time you get prego. Or is it still not an automatic until you're further along?

And yes, that's what we're hoping for too. That we'll be more fertile for a bit now, and that we can catch the egg again quickly. FXd to you and everyone here! I'm very hopeful for all of us! Now that I know I CAN get prego, I feel very optimistic that its gonna happen again quickly.

 

[savvysaver]

ERose, thanks for posting the article. That is very interesting! I already stocked up on frers so I don't have to use the ICs from last time.

Ferens, I am so sorry for your loss. I also had extremely faint lines and was very worried since I didn't get my bfp until I was already like 10 days late for AF. I was worried and didn't want to get too excited until a blood test confirmed it and when I heard it came back positive for pregnancy and the doctor told me the hpt didn't matter how dark the lines were...we celebrated. Then a few days later they told me I was never pregnant and I started bleeding the very next day at 6 weeks.

Yes, we are more fertile right now! Hoping for the best for all of us this cycle, staying positive until I get my positive!

 

[bblevins1991]

I recently about three weeks ago had an early miscarriage. The Drtold me my body treated the pregnancy like a period so i marked it as a period on my days ovulation calender and watched for
For my o day, well I got my positive again yestergain just faint at 10 dpo!! I was so early tho that my hcg was back to zero by the time I was done bleeding!! Have any appt Wednesday hopefully everything goes good! Had a ovartian ectopic in September which resulted n losing one ovary got pregnant December and had early miscarriage so I'm very nervous!!

 

[ERosePW]

I recently about three weeks ago had an early miscarriage. The Drtold me my body treated the pregnancy like a period so i marked it as a period on my days ovulation calender and watched for
For my o day, well I got my positive again yestergain just faint at 10 dpo!! I was so early tho that my hcg was back to zero by the time I was done bleeding!! Have any appt Wednesday hopefully everything goes good! Had a ovartian ectopic in September which resulted n losing one ovary got pregnant December and had early miscarriage so I'm very nervous!!

Wow, thank you so much for posting your story! I'm sorry you've been through so much. But the fact that you got pregnant again sure does give me hope. Do you recall how many days after your bleeding started did you O? Were you using opk's?

Let us know how your dr appt goes! Fxd that this is gonna be your sticky bean!

 

[ERosePW]

Hi bblevins, any update? How are things going??

How's everyone else doing?

AFM, nothing new to report. Unfortunately, last night I had a very emotional night. Just got sad again about what happened. That's to be expected I guess, since it just happened last Mon. But I feel better again today, and looking ahead to the near future optimistically. Just hoping to see a bfp again soon.

Savvy, how are you? Anything new with you yet?

 

[savvysaver]

ERose, I am sorry to hear about your emotional evening. It seems like something silly catches me off guard and I find myself crying again. The first few days back from my vacation (about a week after the miscarriage started) were the worst. Hugs, good things are happening all around us and it will be our turn soon! Can't wait until all of us here get to celebrate our bfps!

ERose, did you start using your opks? Are you temping this cycle?

I am disappointed that I didn't keep testing with the opks...now I have no idea if I ovulated or when I will ovulate. I am such a planner and it really bugs me to not know what is going on! I had a little dull lower back pain the last few days...I looked back at the thread from November and I had the same lower back pain during that cycle. So that helps make me more positive! Time will tell!

 

[ERosePW]

Oh I'm hopeful for you since you're having that same back pain you had last time!! I remember you talking about that! Fxd!! You know, you could try starting some cheapie OPKs now... Since you're wondering if you O'd for sure or not, then if you haven't yet, then it's certainly not too late to track, since you still could O. (Although I'm hoping you already did, and that all your back pain is a good sign and all that BDing paid off!)

I've already started using them since so many women in my 35+ thread said they O'd at their normal time after a very early mc like mine. I just want to stay on top of it. And yep, I'm also temping. I wasn't sure what to consider cd1 at first, but many of the women said since it was so early, I could probably just guess at it and consider the first day of the mc as cd1. My temps stayed above my prior coverline though, until after the bleeding had stopped and my hcg was below 0. So my chart looks a bit wonky right now. They're finally down to normal pre-O temps, so I feel like my body has started over now. We'll see what happens. This month is such a mystery, and I know you sure understand that. Fxd crossed that your back pain is a good sign girly!!!!

 

[savvysaver]

I never remember ever having that lower back pain like I did in November and now...so I am hoping too! I would be on CD26 if I counted the first day of my miscarriage as CD1. I used to have the average CD24-26 day cycles...but my new doctor said 4-6 weeks until AF returns (not sure if he meant from the day he saw me or the start of my miscarriage)...last time my boobs were sore and I had lower cramps and I don't have either right now. But then again last time I had a miscarriage so I might not want the same symptoms this time.

I used an opk today and the line is very faint compared to the control line, they are just those cheap ones so I will continue to use them now and see what happens. I don't think I will test with a hpt anytime soon.

Oops...I see your chart in your signature! I see your lines and I am glad they have evened out. It is crazy what our hormones can do! I am glad you are temping and using opk's this time, at least you should be able to pinpoint O. How long were your cycles before you started clomid?

bblevins, how are you doing?