Lightly slapping baby's hand to discipline?

[elainegee]

i happend to read the first page and the last page and tbh like the above poster said there will be pages of other posters just arguing over each others comments. my opinion is, i think that 7 months is just too early to give a light slap on the hand. babies are curious and naturally want to investigate, make sure your house is baby proof and your little one shouldnt get themselfs into a situation where they will need a 'light slap'. I have a 1 year old and a 4 year old and what i do with my wee boy is just repeat no no no no no and take him away from the situation that is causing any stress to me ie i hate when he plays infront of the television and he went through a phase of touching the tv and all the gadgets we had on the cabinet so by taking him away from it and telling him no no no he learned not to touch it.
I am 27 and i know when me and my siblins were younger a slap on the hand was the most we would ever get and normally it would only of happened if were persistant in doing something we were told not too. I was never afraid of my parents because they did this, most of the times me and my brother would look at each other and laugh and say 'that wasnt sore'.
You and your husband have to agree together on how to dicipline your child, but remember at this age they are only doing things normal babies do and you would be diciplining her for doing what babies do..if you know what i mean.

 

[Buffy71]

i happend to read the first page and the last page and tbh like the above poster said there will be pages of other posters just arguing over each others comments. my opinion is, i think that 7 months is just too early to give a light slap on the hand. babies are curious and naturally want to investigate, make sure your house is baby proof and your little one shouldnt get themselfs into a situation where they will need a 'light slap'. I have a 1 year old and a 4 year old and what i do with my wee boy is just repeat no no no no no and take him away from the situation that is causing any stress to me ie i hate when he plays infront of the television and he went through a phase of touching the tv and all the gadgets we had on the cabinet so by taking him away from it and telling him no no no he learned not to touch it.
I am 27 and i know when me and my siblins were younger a slap on the hand was the most we would ever get and normally it would only of happened if were persistant in doing something we were told not too. I was never afraid of my parents because they did this, most of the times me and my brother would look at each other and laugh and say 'that wasnt sore'.
You and your husband have to agree together on how to dicipline your child, but remember at this age they are only doing things normal babies do and you would be diciplining her for doing what babies do..if you know what i mean.

Hehehehe I used to say "didn't hurt". My poor, poor mum.

 

[xpinkness87x]

i happend to read the first page and the last page and tbh like the above poster said there will be pages of other posters just arguing over each others comments. my opinion is, i think that 7 months is just too early to give a light slap on the hand. babies are curious and naturally want to investigate, make sure your house is baby proof and your little one shouldnt get themselfs into a situation where they will need a 'light slap'. I have a 1 year old and a 4 year old and what i do with my wee boy is just repeat no no no no no and take him away from the situation that is causing any stress to me ie i hate when he plays infront of the television and he went through a phase of touching the tv and all the gadgets we had on the cabinet so by taking him away from it and telling him no no no he learned not to touch it.
I am 27 and i know when me and my siblins were younger a slap on the hand was the most we would ever get and normally it would only of happened if were persistant in doing something we were told not too. I was never afraid of my parents because they did this, most of the times me and my brother would look at each other and laugh and say 'that wasnt sore'.
You and your husband have to agree together on how to dicipline your child, but remember at this age they are only doing things normal babies do and you would be diciplining her for doing what babies do..if you know what i mean.

Hehehehe I used to say "didn't hurt". My poor, poor mum.

I used to do it the same

 

[better2gether]

Wow. I didn't think it would turn into this. I never intended it to. I have tears in my eyes reading all these posts and that is the honest to God truth. I do feel like shit (sorry, there is no other word for it). My child is the happiest child you could ever meet. She absolutely adores her daddy and actually prefers him over me. When he light taps her hand and says "no," I think it is the deepness of his voice that catches her off guard and makes her cry... And she only cries for a second or two (if that, and I do mean literally). I was just honestly curious if anyone else has used this technique and if it worked for them. I feel uncomfortable because as a mom (and I'm sure you all can understand), my heart instantly aches when she cries, no matter what her reason for crying! But at the same time, I'm also aware that she needs learn right from wrong. So please delete this thread or close it or do whatever you have to do. I didn't want an argument or to feel like a terrible mother, but I obviously caused one and I honestly feel that way. I have never come across this on BnB before, where I actually wanted to leave and just never come back. I always LOVED this place because everyone was so sweet, supportive, etc. Never judgemental. It is hard to find a good and welcoming forum. Not one where you're worried about offending or being put down. Perhaps this misunderstanding is all my fault and it comes down to wording. I thought "lightly" would show that my husband doesn't hit or beat or abuse our daughter, but then again maybe "slapping" evoked strong emotions in people. I'm just sad now. Thank you to those that were kind and understanding. That is very appreciated.

 

[Jchihuahua]

I'm sorry you are upset but it is such an emotive topic hun .

Me or hubby will never slap Daisy as positive discipline works so so much better.

 

[louandivy]

You are NOT a bad mother, we are all struggling trying to figure out what is the best for our own child and I am appalled by how downright rude and judgemental some people have been. The fact that you were concerned enough to ask for advice from others shows what a loving mum you are, please don't let anyone make you feel guilty

 

[Jchihuahua]

You are NOT a bad mother, we are all struggling trying to figure out what is the best for our own child and I am appalled by how downright rude and judgemental some people have been. The fact that you were concerned enough to ask for advice from others shows what a loving mum you are, please don't let anyone make you feel guilty

I agree. I have just read back through all the posts and some people come across as very rude indeed and whether or not someone agrees with what is being said in a post there is no need to be rude about it.

 

[kirstylm]

Aww hun please don't feel bad about urself. It has clearly been completely blown out of all proportion and people have taken it the wrong way and immediately making their feelings known about slapping rather than wot u were refering to.

U are not a bad mum and u can clearly see that from ur original post by trying to find ways to make ur LO understand right from wrong!

I think some replies were totally cruel and unnecessary.

I stick with wot I said in that a stern no does the job but don't understand why some people have blown up about it and even mentioned the word words "phsical violence" which is TOTALLY wrong and not wot is happening in ur case!

I'm sorry ur upset Hun, but to be honest I'm not suprised Reading some of the replies! I would be too.

I think u deserve apologies xxxx

 

[IvyBaby]

That is why we bought a huge play pen.. Lexi was getting absolutely everywhere and I was so tired running after her. Now she is happy playing with her toys, practising walking and what not.

 

[Kalah]

Wow. I didn't think it would turn into this. I never intended it to. I have tears in my eyes reading all these posts and that is the honest to God truth. I do feel like shit (sorry, there is no other word for it). My child is the happiest child you could ever meet. She absolutely adores her daddy and actually prefers him over me. When he light taps her hand and says "no," I think it is the deepness of his voice that catches her off guard and makes her cry... And she only cries for a second or two (if that, and I do mean literally). I was just honestly curious if anyone else has used this technique and if it worked for them. I feel uncomfortable because as a mom (and I'm sure you all can understand), my heart instantly aches when she cries, no matter what her reason for crying! But at the same time, I'm also aware that she needs learn right from wrong. So please delete this thread or close it or do whatever you have to do. I didn't want an argument or to feel like a terrible mother, but I obviously caused one and I honestly feel that way. I have never come across this on BnB before, where I actually wanted to leave and just never come back. I always LOVED this place because everyone was so sweet, supportive, etc. Never judgemental. It is hard to find a good and welcoming forum. Not one where you're worried about offending or being put down. Perhaps this misunderstanding is all my fault and it comes down to wording. I thought "lightly" would show that my husband doesn't hit or beat or abuse our daughter, but then again maybe "slapping" evoked strong emotions in people. I'm just sad now. Thank you to those that were kind and understanding. That is very appreciated.

 

[Seity]

I think what you're doing is an excellent way to teach your child and understand that it is not for everyone. You are a good mom and have no reason to feel bad for doing what you and your husband think is right.

 

[Susie28]

Wow. I didn't think it would turn into this. I never intended it to. I have tears in my eyes reading all these posts and that is the honest to God truth. I do feel like shit (sorry, there is no other word for it). My child is the happiest child you could ever meet. She absolutely adores her daddy and actually prefers him over me. When he light taps her hand and says "no," I think it is the deepness of his voice that catches her off guard and makes her cry... And she only cries for a second or two (if that, and I do mean literally). I was just honestly curious if anyone else has used this technique and if it worked for them. I feel uncomfortable because as a mom (and I'm sure you all can understand), my heart instantly aches when she cries, no matter what her reason for crying! But at the same time, I'm also aware that she needs learn right from wrong. So please delete this thread or close it or do whatever you have to do. I didn't want an argument or to feel like a terrible mother, but I obviously caused one and I honestly feel that way. I have never come across this on BnB before, where I actually wanted to leave and just never come back. I always LOVED this place because everyone was so sweet, supportive, etc. Never judgemental. It is hard to find a good and welcoming forum. Not one where you're worried about offending or being put down. Perhaps this misunderstanding is all my fault and it comes down to wording. I thought "lightly" would show that my husband doesn't hit or beat or abuse our daughter, but then again maybe "slapping" evoked strong emotions in people. I'm just sad now. Thank you to those that were kind and understanding. That is very appreciated.

 

[nightkd]

I would not slap my daughter's hand to discipline her, purely because I don't think it is an effective form of discipline.

I also think at that age (my kiddo is only a couple of months behind) they won't understand why. A firm 'no' is probably the best you can really do, aside from removing objects/your baby from whatever they shouldn't be messing with. Perhaps tell your hubby to consider his tone/volume of his voice when he says 'no' because she is just a baby and he needs to teach her what it means before she will understand. No point scaring her!

You need to communicate with your DH that you are uncomfortable with this method of discipline and don't think it is effective. Figure out something for you both to do - consistency is key...even when it's just saying 'no' and moving items out of your baby's reach.

You don't sound like a bad parent at all! You are trying to figure out what is best for your baby! None of us like to hear our baby cry - DH scratched DD's gum last night when he tried to give her her dummy in the dark...I HATE that cry, it makes me want to cry! - and in this case it sounds like your DH is making her cry by being a bit OTT/imposing and she doesn't understand ANYWAY, so just figure out how to communicate to your daughter that she SHOULDN'T be doing x, y, z in a way that she will start to understand, but won't be scared (trying to think of a better word, but can't ).

Mama, you're not doing anything wrong...just need to figure out what works for you to keep your daughter safe and teach her!

 

[redpoppy]

It's just a very emotive topic. There are a lot of people in the "I was smacked and therefore it's fine" camp and a lot of people in the "I was never smacked so why bother" camp but the reason it gets very passionate is there are a lot of people who are in the "I was smacked and I would NEVER put my child through what I went through" camp.

You just need to understand that it's not personal and people are just trying to do their best. Although people COULD try at least to be more polite in conveying the message if you think that they speak from their own experiences which probably veered on the wrong side of "discipline" I think you'll see it's not personal but they're just trying to make sure no one goes through that.

You're not a bad mother and I think maybe since you yourself expressed doubt people who are against hitting/tapping/smacking are obviously going to support you in your doubt.

 

[Sarah10]

Haven't read all the comments but if my o/h slapped Jayden even lightly, he would be out on his arse.

 

[vixy]

i agree with everyone. no slapping. I am going through the same with my son, since we moved our living room round all he wants to do is climb up the tv and tv stand. I seem to spend all day moving him and saying no. I ussually move him away, sit him on his bum and say no. He definalty understands 'no' now as well as he stops when i say it. then does it again a few minutres later hehehe. They learn though hun, just persivere, I started by saying no and shaking my head and my finger but he started copying me hehehe which makes me laugh. x

 

[Buffy71]

i agree with everyone. no slapping. I am going through the same with my son, since we moved our living room round all he wants to do is climb up the tv and tv stand. I seem to spend all day moving him and saying no. I ussually move him away, sit him on his bum and say no. He definalty understands 'no' now as well as he stops when i say it. then does it again a few minutres later hehehe. They learn though hun, just persivere, I started by saying no and shaking my head and my finger but he started copying me hehehe which makes me laugh. x

They're so funny - it's sooooo hard not to laugh!!

 

[Mel+Bump]

I probably wouldnt use a light slap to show right or wrong to my LO at such a young age. When she is older I probably will though, and like you, just a tap to the hand and a 'no'. I think at that age Ill probably say 'no' and then move them away. Might end up being a game of 'lets move paige around the room' lol but I suppose if it stops her trying to grab my tv then Ill do it! lol.

Do what you feel is right though and if youre happy with how its working then carry on. I cant offer advice though as I havent used this meathod.

 

[Mrs Dot]

I agree with the above posts. My LO was into all the stuff you mentioned... so we put the TV on the wall, covered the cords and put the TV/Xbox controllers/Phones out of her reach! Your LO is just exploring, she doesn't know right from wrong yet and how is she meant to know they are not for her? Baby proofing your house would be a better option than smacking.

totally agree easier said than done but well worth the effort in the end.

 

[vaniilla]

not read all the posts but I don't think you should let other people make you feel bad for your parenting decisions, you should do what you feel is best for you and your lo, I'm sure most people were just expressing their opinions and are just passionate on the topic

I personally wouldn't do it because I've seen it have negative effects on children myself being one them but its a personal choice, and I don't think what your doing is going to do any damage to your child