***Lion Cub Mommies-Back In Action!***

[Shiv]

MJ - sorry you are feeling uncomfortable in here, am always here if you wanna send me a pm or facebook chat

I understand completely with regards to not being the right time to potty train, we are leaving it with Sophia too, she may be ready now, but I am not!

Right I am afraid this is going ot be a ranty message..........I need to know whether I am being irrational or am within my rights to be mightily pissed off!

SO you know how David's work situation has been, well I think I have been (or at least tried to be) very reasonable with the amount he has been away etc.

Anyway the day after cora was born he tells me that there is a managers meeting her would like to go to during his two weeks off. He says it is just an hour (today) so I say ok. But really I am thinking "why on earth do you need to go in when you are on paternity leave, no-body will be expecting him to".

SO it gets to last night and he is on his work computer for 3 hours, so I decide to be nice and I let him sleep from 10pm until 7am with no wake-ups to help me with Cora or Sophia who woke twice last night because of teeth, so that he is fresh for his meeting. his meeting is at 10am. SO at 7am I feed Cora and say " you can go to Daddy for cuddles now" and he says oh I am just going ot get a shower. And I say surely you don't need to leave until 9.30am. He says I am going to go in early, I hurumph and he says "do you want me to tell you all that I have to do" (as in what work he needs to do) and I say" you don't HAVE to do anything you are choosing to. He says yes and I say just go and a have a shower, getting pretty pissed off. He comes out of teh shower and I say "so you aren't taking a full days holiday for today I assume (he doesn't get paternity leave so he is using precious holiday). he says I was planning on still taking a full day. I say but you will be there from 8.30am - midday that is half a day worked plus the three hours you did last night. he says "i think it looks good if I do it my way", i say I think it makes him look foolish, it is comendable enough that he is even going in at all. We decide to agree to disagree. By which point having given him a night off I am sorely regretting! So off he goes to work, coming home at just gone midday.

Basically I wonder why he even wants to go into work when his new daughter is 5 days old, they wouldn't expect him to. Secondly why is he using up holiday which is extra time he could spend at home with us.

he has invited a mutual friend up on Saturday to wet the baby's head - which will mean them getting hugely drunk (whilst I stay at home with LO's), so he tells me he is hoping to get the friend up as early as possble on saturday. I say fine but you AREN'T going out until after Sophia is in bed. To which he replies "I think you mean you would like for me not to go out until after Sophia is in bed..........I say " no I mean you AREN'T going out until then". I say I don't put my foot down much (make that EVER). He says you don't have to, i would have stayed in until Sophia was in bed if you had just asked nicely. But after the rigmaroll with him going ot work , I am just SO pissed off and quite frankly a little bit disgusted at his behaviour.

i realise now writing it down that it doesn;t sound THAT bad, and if Cora was a month old then it would be ok, but she is 5 days old, I am getting very little sleep (up until last night he was kinda pulling his weight as much as he could without being able to feed her) (oh and I didn't even get a thankyou for his night off!)

I just don't understand, his loyalties seem to be with work rather than me, SOphia and Cora. I put up with it for months before the birth I just hoped I might get a couple of weeks of us being the priority!

Sorry this has been so rambled and incoherent (speech marks left out etc) but I just wanted to get it out.

So how would you ladies feel, am I being irrational or within my rights to be a bit miffed.

One thing is for sure, he getting up in the night tonight to do all the nappy changes before I feed Cora!

 

[spidey]

Shiv, I would be upset too. I can almost understand him going to the meeting since he is new at the job and he wants to make a good impression, but there is no reason why he should take vacation leave at the same time. He shouldn't sacrifice time with his family for a job... jobs come and go but your family doesn't. And going out drinking with his friend would not make me happy. Sometimes it's hard to figure out what men are thinking!!

MJ, are you uncomfortable with posting on a semi-public board, or this particular thread? I hope its nothing thats be said in here. I saw on FB that Adam has been shifted to his own room. How is that going?? How have you been feeling recently?

jelr, yay for TTC!!! We need some extra TTC excitement in here. I am a dud, and Cleckner rarely gets a chance to I always notice those electronic cigarettes when people are "smoking" them inside stores. In Maryland we have a very strict no smoking policy, so seeing someone smoking indoors always makes me look twice. They look very realistic too.

Cleckner, thats awesome that Emma is fully trained now! Go Emma!! It's so cute that she stripped down in the street. Kira used her potty in the front yard yesterday They have no modesty Where are you in your cycle? Are you going to get a chance to TTC again before Corey leaves?


as for me, I still haven't ovulated. But I have a new thermometer coming in the mail today, so I can start taking my bbt with 2 different ones and perhaps I can see my temperature shift. One day I'll enter all the data in here and show you girls

 

[cleckner04]

MJ- I hope it's not something we said hun. If it's my ranting about pregnant women that makes you uncomfortable please know that I'm not ever referring to you ladies. I'm genuinely happy for all of you.

Shiv- I would be PISSED. Seriously I just learned about this whole 'wetting the babies head thing' and I don't understand the point of it. My DH would never even consider doing something like that but if he did, I would probably blow a gasket. And him going into work when he's meant to be on leave. That is ridiculous too. I think you are completely reasonable in being angry with him. These early days are so important and he'll never get them back with Cora.

spidey- No clue where I am in my cycle. I didn't use my CBFM this month. I'd say I'm probably mid-cycle because my period started the day Corey left and it's been a few weeks I think. We should get one more chance to try but that will be in the middle of us moving stuff into storage and packing so it's gonna be tough to get the in I think. I'm pretty resigned to the fact that it just isn't happening yet. Now if only I could get people to stop asking when I'm having another.


Well here's some weight loss news finally! After going home in July, I gained 7 lbs. So I was up to 197 at a few points in the past 2 months. My weight kept fluctuating but it was definitely higher than when DH first got back in June. Well since he left 2 weeks ago, I have dropped back down to 189.4!! I was trying my best to get down into the 180s before he got back again. Now if I can manage to stick with it through the holidays and in the last month of Dh being back. I have the worst will power when in the company of others. My lowest weight since I started all of this was 188.4 though so I have 1 lb to lose to get back to that. Now that you ladies are all about to pop, maybe we can talk weightloss together. That would give me some extra boost I think. Since you all actually have an excuse for the extra weight with having newborns. My 'baby' is over 2.

 

[Shiv]

I don;t actually mind too much David going out to wet the baby's head too much. It is more the way that after him going into work for longer than agreed fiasco this morning I was shocked with the wayhe spoke to me like I was being unreasonable! I seriously think for the past few months I have been seriously reasonable! We aren't really talking tonight. He was on the phone earlier with work and I could hear them trying to persuade him to go back off leave early He was saying well my preference is to stay off for the 2 weeks but if it is important I can talk to my wife etc etc. he walked back in and I just said "if there is anything you want to discuss with me I would leave it until tomorrow"! They have known I was pregnant and my due date since June. his boss is so lame, when he went in to work today apparently his boss was stressing out and couldn't find the stuff he needed to do the job. Now David has only been there a few months so his boss should be in charge not David! I know David wants me to say "fine just go back"............and I probably will. What is the point in having him here if he is on the phone to work, an don his computer for hours each day. I would rather he didn't waste his leave and had some time off when they are less busy. Seriously if he doesn't get promoted and a damn good pay rise I am gonna be down there giving them a piece of my mind!

Cleck - well done for the wieght loss. I am having my one week post partum weigh in tomorrow. Obvioulsy I am not trying to lose weight (as I tuck into a bag of haribo!) but am hopign it will just fall off

Cora actually slept in her moses basket last night

Jelr - exciting about TTC, I look forward to stalking you. I am already getting a bit sad about how quick time is going, Cora is a week old tomorrow and I just know before I know it she will turnign one and I will be having a meltdown again!

 

[jelr]

Cleck: Sorry but I have to say your SIL sounds like an ass, It must be hard not to say anything when she does things like that

MJ: Huge - I'm so sorry you feel uncomfortable and really hope you know I'm always here too, PM me anytime.

Spidey: You are not a dud, it is only the bf that is slowing things down, maybe we will all be pregnant together and you two were just wating for me

Shiv: I totally hear you on the whole work thing. I know it happened to us when Natasha was born. DH was called back into work on his second week off and I have to say I wasn't as good as you and I totally lost it, but then it did actually help as I felt better for ranting at him and eventually we sat down and talked and I explained my feelings to him and he explained his to me and we were both more understanding (although I did feel really bad as I was really mean when I ranted and I know I did make him feel really really bad) I felt that he was putting work ahead of us and he felt that he had no choice as to him his main role to look after us is to keep a roof over our heads and food on the table by being the provider and he had an idea that things were going bad in his job and didn't want to give them any excuses to get rid of him - so in the end we comprimised and he only worked half days the second week.

So David probably feels like he is looking after you all by being the best at his job when he is so new there.

On the other hand, I totally see why you are pissed and you have good right too. He is definitely being an ass about going out, I think you should actually have first dibs on having a treat out first - even it if it just for a massage or to get your hair done. In fairness you are the one that has done all the work by carrying Cora over the last 9 months and by giving birth to her and you have done it all with David away for most of it, so he should definitely be helping you as much as possible now, especially since you are getting so little sleep, so I would be really pissed if he was going out in the first place being honest, but as you said yourself I think it is the attitude about it and about the time is the worst thing. There really was no need for it, when he should be bending over backwards for you.

I think when you have calmed down tomorrow, you need to sit him down and tell him exactly how you feel, about how much you were left on your own during the pregnancy and you didn't say anything and that you are just really fed up and hurt with his behaviour so soon after Cora has been born and that he needs to remember where his priorities are and that it was both of you made this family and both of you should look after it.

 

[jelr]

Oh and I meant to say - thanks you everyone for letting me say how I felt. I'm glad I was able to voice my opinion and you were all cool with it

 

[spidey]

jelr, you always says things so perfectly Shiv, I do understand how you feel and think you're justified to feel that way. It's really wrong that his work expects him to come back and skip a measly 2 weeks home with you and the baby. His job seems to have much more time spent away from home than was originally expected. Does his boss have children or a wife? Do you think DH wants to go back to work, or do you think he is being forced back to work out of fear of losing his job? Like what jelr said, once you calm down it will be a good idea to talk openly about how you feel... I know you've been holding back a few opinions regarding DH's job.

Cleckner, congrats on the weight loss!!!! I'm sorry people keep asking you when you're having another baby. My MIL asks me and I usually just stare back and don't say anything. I know not to use the word "craving" around her or else she gets excited and asks if I'm expecting

I would love for the 3 of us to be pregnant at the same time! With the constant nursing at the beginning of this cycle, I think my body reverted back to complete infertility. Kira's slowed down on nursing this past week, so maybe my hormones will kick back up soon and I will finally ovulate.

Kira hasn't peed since 1:00 and it's 7:30 now! When I ask if she needs to pee she says "NO!" She's a ticking time bomb!

Tomorrow my mom goes in for her repeat mammogram so fingers crossed everything is okay. Did I tell you girls that DH is getting an award on Tuesday? We're going to a fancy dinner for the awards ceremony and I need to get all dressed up. It'll be our first "date night" since Kira was born Since I can't eat gluten, I emailed the restaurant and they're going to try and make me something I can eat. I get to meet all of DH's bosses, so I better be on my best behavior.

 

[cleckner04]

spidey that's so exciting with the awards ceremony! Getting dressed up for a kid free night sounds so nice right about now.

I also would love if we could all be pregnant at the same time again!

I have a friend that was a grade under me that just announced on facebook she's pregnant with #4. She's younger than me and on #4 already. *sigh*

 

[spidey]

wow, #4 at your age is crazy! I bet she's a basket case at the end of the day with all those kids. All my girl friends from HS started having babies right away too and 3 of their husbands have had vasectomies in the past year

 

[cleckner04]

@ vasectomies.

This girl homeschools her kids and everything. She's a natural mommy in some ways too with babywearing and breastfeeding. She's a really good mom but that doesn't stop me from being envious. I have a friend from back in Virginia that is on baby #3 and it's 3 different dads. She's a few years younger than me as well. But she's finally settled down with a good guy so hopefully this last dad will be one that sticks.

 

[jelr]

Cleck: I completely forgot to say. Well done on the weightloss, that is fantastic to do so well with DH especially if you have no will power around under people, you only put on a half stone on holidays and have shifted that now, that is more than anyone could hope for. I put on 7lbs on every holiday and that is by my and DH being off work together without actually going anywhere

I know it is hard with everyone else being pregnant, but when you seriously think about it, would you like to have 4 children at this stage, I think it would be hard to give the same time that I have to Natasha if I had 3 others and I wouldn't want to change that for the world. That is horrible when people ask when you are having another, I get that myself. In fact the worst of it is it all started the week I was misscarrying and it was like a knife anytime anybody said it and I just had to grin and say ah we will see as I know they had no idea and would have died if they had of known, it was still hard though. It has made me very aware of saying anything to people about having more children as you never know what is going on in peoples lives.

Spidey: Oooohhh that sounds lovely to get dressed up and head out to a fancy dinner. What is DH getting the award for? Is it a black tie affair? What will you wear?

OMG on Kira holding her pee for so long - I don't know if I could hold it that long myself. I hope that pee did not explode every where - if she makes it to the potty, it will probably overflow

Sorry your MIL is annoying you too, you would think MIL's would know better, mine is the same, we were up there at the weekend and when DH told her I was off the cigarettes, she said "Oh is she pregnant" and she knows our history

I really hope your mams appointment goes well today, how quickly will she get the results? I hope you all don't have to wait long

Shiv: Well how did Cora sleep last night? and how are you feeling today, I think now is the time to sit down and tell David exactly how you are feeling and have been feeling the whole time, because if not it will only fester and you have enough to do at the moment with two babies to look after without feeling angry at him the whole time too and he really does need to understand as he clearly doesn't with the way he is the last few days.

MJ: How are you feeling now, I really hope you will be back in here. Have you any more appointments coming up. Isn't it next week you all have your meet. I wish I was nearer for that as it would be lovely to meet some of you.

Completely OT, but what adds to you all see on here, I'm wondering if they are targetted at what we write as I have a stop smoking one for the past two weeks or I wonder is it totally random

Anyway I had better make a move as I'm supposed to be working

 

[spidey]

jelr, thats funny about the stop smoking ad. I've reloaded twice and I only get Halloween ads trying to sell me candy and costumes

I just heard from my mom and everything went well. It is a harmless cyst. They had to do multiple x-rays and sonograms but finally figured it out Such a relief!

I would love to be close enough to attend a meet too. Maybe one day me and Cleckner will pass through eachother's states and we can have a mini meet

DH was chosen for a community safety award since he enforces laws to do with rats, trash, etc. It's a big deal and the first time that someone from his department was chosen. Most of the time they award firemen, policeman or security guards, so it's neat he's getting the award. DH told me it's basically like employee of the year I think it's black tie. I have some dress pants and 1 dressier shirt I could wear. But it might be nice to wear a dress, which I don't have... so this weekend a shopping trip might be in order! Maybe I will take pictures of what I have and get your opinions.

 

[cleckner04]

Ooo spidey you gotta get a gown. It's gonna be like the prom! So exciting!!

Do you ladies in the UK have proms? We should all share our prom pictures. I love looking back at old pictures.

jelr- you are totally right. I really wouldn't want 4 kids right now. (or ever ) I do think Emma will benefit from having alone time with me for so long.

spidey- Well now that I'm moving back to Ohio/Indiana area its a definite possibility to have a meet since we'll be so much closer!! The others are fairly close too. Well on the east coast/midwest at least. Teresa, Kimberly, and Heidi. South Carolina, Georgia, and Heidi is in minnesota I think. The US is far too big.



I actually dropped down even more this morning in weight. Down to 188.4!! Which is exactly what I was when we went home in July. And was also my lowest weight since losing weight this time. I have one more week before Corey is back so hopefully I can get down even further!! And have the willpower to stay out of restaurants when he's back.

 

[Shiv]

Spidey - so glad your mum got good news, must be such a relief

You HAVE to go and buy a dress, with a killer figure like yours it would be a shame to hide it in trousers. We MUST have photos too!

Cleck - we don't have proms here (although I think they are catching on now in schoold) but we did have a leaving party, like a prom I suppose when we all left school at 18. I'll see if I can dig out some photos! boo I don't have any on facebook, so might have to try to scan some in!

jelr - how long have you been off the cigarettes now? I think you should give yoruself some sort of treat for each month you make. My mum has been off them for a year next month and I want to do something/ get her something to celebrate. She still struggles every day with it (sorry you don't want to know that ) so I think she deserves something special.

It would be super cool if you girls get pregnant together! Although I will be very jealous. I didn't really enjoy being pregnant this time round, mainly because i spent the majority of it on my hands and knees and other ridiculous positions! But having said I would never have anymore, i am already feeling like time is flying, and I am making the most of cuddles with Cora, but the thought of never having any more newborn cuddles is sad

I know that I am no longer TTC or even pregnant but I hope you girls don't mind me sticking around. I would be a bit lost without you all to be honest

Had a busy day today, went shopping, mainly to get my boobs measured so that I can order some pretty nursing bras, my ones from Sophia have no elastic left and don't support my now hefty again cleavage! Anyway we were out from 11am to 4pm on our feet and I think i did too much as I am bleeding a bit heavier again now.

I tried Cora out in the babyhawk and it is SO comfortable for me. I do worry that she is a bit squished in the leg department when she is in it though.

David and I aren't really talking at the moment. We "discussed" the work situation. He told me they needed to know when he was going back and I said "go back when you want to", its no use you using up your holiday when you aren't totally focussed on the family". he got in a huff saying, so you're saying I am no use while I'm here! I of course said that wasn't the case but that I would rather he used his holiday time with us for when he could concentrate on us and not be thinking about work. He said that he didn;t mind work contacting him etc, but I said that I did. he basically wants me to tell him it is fine by me if you go back early.........which I won't do. HE can choose to go back but I am not making that decision for him. I have realised that he has been doign that all along, making me have the final say so that I can't really complain afterwards! who knew he was so devious - very woman like that Anyway the upshot is he has told work he would like the full 2 weeks, but if they REALLY need him then he will go back 2 days early, but they have to let him know by this weekend. We wills see.

I just want to forget about it and for him to give me a cuddle, because i am tired and because I gave birth to his baby and because I am breastfeeding and it's hard work................but men are rubbish and I know I won't get one unless I ask - and that isn't the point!

So I had my one week post partum weigh in today and here are my stats!

Pre- preg weight - 9st 9lbs
Fully pregnant weight - 11st 11lbs
1 week post partum weight 10 st 6.5lbs

I am pretty happy with that, at this stag with Sophia I weighed 12 stone. SO my first aim is to get down to 10 stone, then pre-preg weight, then finally 9 st 4 lbs.

Oh and here is a pic of me at one week post partum in comparison to fully cooked! Ok photo is taking ages to upload to PC so will attach in seperate message

 

[Shiv]

so here goes, fully cooked vs 1 week post partum

 

[cleckner04]

Shiv- You did SO good with weight this time around!! I'm so jealous it's mostly dropped right back off for you!! I wonder why I never lost any of mine. C-section and not being able to move maybe. I don't want you as a weight loss buddy anymore. You're losing it too fast. Of course you should stick around. Hell, I haven't been pregnant at all and have mostly been WTT this whole time. I think this thread is more of a 'general chat' thread for us. Because we really haven't discussed TTC or Pregnancy that much. Our poor lion cub thread is dead as a doornail.


I'm gonna search out some prom pictures. Although most are on facebook I think.

 

[cleckner04]

Jeremy Kyle is on right now on my TV. I take it he moved to america?!! It's americans on his show!

 

[Shiv]

Jeremy Kyle is car crash tv here - I can't let myself watch it because as bad as it is, I will get addicted to watching idiots discuss their f'ed up lives!

As for weightloss, as you know it is the last bit of weight that is the hardest to lose, so give me another half stone that I hope will come off easily and the rest will be a slow process that involves a lot of exercise and watching what I eat (to a certain extent cos of the BFing)

 

[cleckner04]

Well I think you did fabulous with weight gain this time around. You don't seem to have gained anywhere on your body but your belly. I hope I can do just as well whenever I get pregnant again.


Okay, I redid my avatar and my siggie. Now I"m off to find some prom pictures.

 

[Shiv]

your avatar is simply gorgeous