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--Lion Cubs - Mummy and Baby Group!-- We are all One Year Old!

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Aww pip! He's so handsome. I am loving his little gummy smile. It's such a shame that these babies will have teeth someday cause they are just TOO cute without them. :D
 
So my SIL is due April 8 and she keeps making comments to me about how much weight I gained with pregnancy and asking if I am worried that I'll never lose it. She has continued to make passing comments about how she doesn't want to gain weight like I did, etc. This isn't the part that bothers me. I know I'm fat, I don't care. I have an amazing daughter to show for it. But she just got back from an appointment yesterday and she informed me that she has lost 3 more pounds. She has been losing weight from the start. I heard this and looked back at her and she had a smile on her face. Like she is HAPPY about it. I could just feel my temper building but I kept my cool and calmly lectured her about the importance of getting nutrients for her baby and that she is only hurting it. :cry::cry: I want to scream though. How can she hurt such a gift just for the sake of not gaining weight?! She even has said that the baby isn't real to her. (This pregnancy wasn't planned and from the way she always bursts out crying about it, not wanted either) So I just have to sit and watch her starve my little niece.. I know the baby will probably just steal what she can from SIL's body and it is SIL that will pay for it. But I can't help but think that she is hurting the little innocent baby. I just want to snatch it out of her belly and nurture it myself. :haha: I have not once seen SIL eat veggies or fruit. And she refuses to drink milk. She cries anytime I even bring up the baby. Sorry I know no one can help but it feels good to vent in here. :thumbup:
 
Hi girls

Just popping in to say hi before I go to bed. I went back to work today so that was a bit heart wrenching but its only part time so I can't complain. There was lots of tears last night and that was from me and not the baby lol.

Well we are doing well, still not much rolling or crawling but she can sit for a minute on her own and her co-ordination has come on so well this week.

We did have a horrible scare last week though - we had timber delivered here for shelves for the nursery to put all Natasha's christening presents on and it was in the hall. My mam then called and I gave her Natasha for a cuddle before I put her down for a nap and she realised that Natasha had dirtied her nappy and went ahead down to the nursery to change her as I was doing some housework and I never even thought of telling her to watch the timber and she fell and burst her face off the wall and dropped Natasha - It was definitely the worst moment of my life - I still can hear my mam scream that she had dropped her when I go to sleep at night and I dont remember picking up Natasha even now I think I was just in so much shock - I had to ask my mam after did I even do anything or did I just stand there frozen - as I felt like I was frozen and I dont remember and she said no I was straight down the hall and picked her up and I was shouting where is the blood coming from is it you or her - I do remember having Natasha cuddled into me to comfort her and I was terrified to take her away and check her - but we went to the doc who sent us to A&E and she was totally fine, I kind of knew she was as she was smiling and laughing 5 mins later but she did get sick on the way to the docs which frightened me again.

Its mad me and DH were only saying we managed before she came and in she is only here 5.5 short months and how much our lives have changed and how our lives would be over if anything happened to her - I'm sure you can all understand this and feel the same about your LO's - isn't it amazing how much they capture our hearts from the very start. Thankfully she is fine as my heart stopped for the split second when I didn't know if she was ok.

My poor mam though I felt so sorry for her as she was so upset and she really did all her best to protect her and has a black eye, knee and two toes and a bump on her head to prove it. I just can't believe I was so silly and didn't remember to tell her it was there when I was being so careful when carrying Natasha over it all day.

Well sorry girls I know I'm really neglecting you these days, but there just seems less time now that I'm back to work - I really hope your all well. :hugs: to all. Xx
 
Oh no jelr!! That is so horrible. I can only imagine how it must've felt in that moment. :cry: I'm so glad she is okay. And glad your mom is okay too although a bit beat up. You can't blame yourself for forgetting about the lumber being there. It could've happened to any of us. :hugs::hugs:

How is it being back to work? Do you find it awful being away from Natasha during the day? I bet you are super tired! :coffee:
 
Pip - gorgeous pic, melon sounds like a great idea. Another good fruit to chill for teething pain too (using pears atm).

Spidey - I think you're mad wishing Kira to crawl! I'm dreading JP getting going, I've no idea how I'm going to control her!

Cleck - I'm sorry to hear how insensitive your SIL is being but I wonder if some of her attack is because of her feelings at being pregnant (resentment, fear, envy). She sees you being a great, happy mom & sje worries that she won't be able to love her child, and why should she when she didn't want her, when having her might ruin her body, when she has to give up her life. It sounds really selfish but she is having to adjust her life as she knows it and I am sure once your neice has arrived she will feel a lot different. I didn't want children, JP was unplanned& I'm raising her on my own so I can kind of identity with your SIL. For the first few weeks after I knew I was pregnant I was full of anger, sorrow, fear for the loss of my freedom etc, I had some very dark times but equally I knew I had to face up to my responsibilities. I also felt terribly guilty for all those who wanted children but couldn't have them when I was pregnant with one I didn't want. Now I wouldn't want to be without my little girl, I love her so much, I adore being a mum & I even want more - it's a long way to have come and hopefully your sil will find acceptance too in time. It doesn't justify her being callous towards you but it could be hormones too. Her jibes may well be a cry for help, don't let her get to you.

As for her health I'm surprised her ob-gyn hasn't told her off too. Don't worry too much about your niece, she WILL take what she needs & your SIL will suffer for it. I lost a stone at the start of my pregnancy due to HG (although I thought at the time it was a virus) and in my latter pregnancy I was constantly dizzy, fainting, unable to walk very far,nauseas etc and I did eat milk, cereal, fruit etc. She'll soon realize if she doesn't want to feel crap she has to eat and if she doesn't she'll end up in hospital and they will make sure your niece is okay. :hugs:
 
Jelr - what a heart stopping experience and your poor, poor beat up mum. So glad Natasha is okay. I hope you recover quickly from that shock. I couldn't imagine going back to work already, not just the pain of seperation but also the exhaustion. I hope it gets easier for you.
 
MollyApple. Your amazing. :hugs: You just put it in a completely different perspective for me. I'll try not to get so angry at her. Some things she says at times just gets under my skin and I need to learn to just let it slide. I remember those hormones all too well. :haha: She has admitted to me that she doesn't think she'll be able to do it and she is always asking if I regret it. I told her there isn't a single thing I regret about having Emma. She is the best thing I've ever done. I just wish my SIL would 'see the light' :haha: I am basically forcing her to start getting the nursery ready for the baby because she just doesn't seem to realize a baby is actually coming in two months. :wacko:
 
Cleck :hugs: Your post brought tears to my eyes. Your SIL is very lucky to have you and Emma (& Corey) as such positive role models for motherhood and how special it is. Getting her to do the nursery is a great idea. After I had finally accepted I was going to be having a baby, I was in a store with a baby section so I went and has a peek at the clothes & a little part of me enjoyed it whilst finding it terrifying. I bought two tiny items and kept feeling flutters of excitement all the way home. I hung them on a hook in my bedroom and every day I looked at them I felt a little more attached to the little life growing inside. I really hope your SIL could grow in the same way with the nursery work. If she feels able maybe she could go clothes shopping with you and Emma and you could gently encourage her to buy just one little item. Even if she hides it away in a drawer I bet she'll peep at it every day. She'll prob do all she can to avoid doing the nursery if she's in denial because doing anything will mean having to admit its really happening. Did you look at babies while pregnant and find it hard to picture that was what is inside you? It all seemed so surreal back then, even now I feel like one day I stopped being pregnant and it jusr so happens a stork dropped off a baby that day :haha:

Gosh, I also remember going to collect my pram, my first major purchase, at 27 weeks and I was scared but this time in case I was 'tempting fate', as if getting it would make things go wrong, so the little clothes obviously helped! The other thing that really helped was joining the August Mummies group. Everyone was so excited, so keen, babies kept arriving amidst much joy,for the first time in my pregnancy I was really able to enjoy the special privilege that is pregnancy and the prospect of what was ahead thanks to our lovely friends on here & that is just the wonderful thing you are doing for your SIL. :flower:
 
Jelr - Yikes big hugs for you, your mum and Natasha poor things i bet your heart stopped :( !!!

Cleck - I dont think i have told any of you this but i was 17 when i had my first son and i was 6 1/2 months before i knew, me and the "sperm doner" had already split up and i had just finished collegae and was hoping to start work full time at the playgroup i was wotking with.
I hate to reflect on those feelings i had but at the time i was so resentful i would just cry all the time when i had my first scan (at 7 months) i couldn't even bring myself to look at the screen. It wasnt that i hated my baby i just had no love IYKWIM.
I went through the rest of my Preg in a daze just fearing how i would feel for him and then i went into labor and all i could say to myself was "just get through it then you can pick yourself up" it was horrible! Then i had the most horrific birth that still brings me to tears and needed surgery after so i didnt get to see him for a good while.
When everyone had left the hospital and it was just us on our own i made a promise to him that no matter what i would be a good mum and i was i just never felt like his mum :cry: this carried on for nearly 3 years it just felt like i was in auto pilot looking after someone elses child and everyone would comment on how well looked after he was.
Then a week before his 3rd birthday he was at his nan's when he fell and cut his head pretty bad, my dad phoned and said that i had to get there straight away because it was quite bad so i ran the whole way there walked in and there was my gorgeous son sat with his nan silent with a cloth on hs head, he took one look at me and cried "mummy" and then i had that amazing rush of love that everyone talks about and i've not looked back since we have such a bond that i didnt even know was there!
:cry: anyway my whole point is your SIL may need some time but she will get there with the loving guidence that you are already giving her xxxx
 
Oh sam :cry::hugs::hugs: You girls are making me realize how important it is to not be too pushy but to help her realize what an amazing thing she is about to do. I'm sorry if I offended anyone with my rant yesterday. I'm just worried about it all I guess.
 
dont worry about ranting cleck, its what were here for! xxxx
 
Cleck you were expressing how you feel and if you cant do that here then where can you?!? LOL
You did not in any way offend me hun not even for a second i just really wanted to reassure you that things would be fine no matter how long it took really big hugs to you and your family xxxxx
 
Awww girls,lots of heart felt posts in here at the moment and I was just thinking how wonderful it is we all feel close enough to share our feelings, stories and experiences with each other :hug:. It doesn't matter from what angle but it's lovely we are all so close.

Jelr how scary, it's one of my biggest fears. Glad all are well now though :hugs:.

MollyApple I just want to give you a big squeeze and :hug: you are amazing and doing fabulous with that gorgeous girly.

Cleckner I'd be pissed too as I'm very self conscious about my weight as I've always been very large. However I think what MA could well be the case for her and she is pushing her anxieties onto you. My only advice is to ignore her as hard as that feels, she'll understand when her baby is born, things like her weight are the least of her problems!!! Now getting a colicky baby to stop crying...... that's a whole different ball game than counting calories!!! :winkwink:

Sam :hugs: I didn't feel that 'rush of love' for Samuel straight away and he was really planned. I think it was such a shock he was finally in my arms, I kinda focused on the pregnancy and didn't think about the 'after'. It took a couple of months for him to really melt my heart with every smile. You are such a wonderful Mum :hugs: thank you for sharing.
 
My mom just informed me on the phone that SIL voiced her concerns to her as well about weight. Saying specifically that she doesn't want to gain weight like I did. WTF?! I only gained 45 pounds. I was feeling perfectly fine about my body and now I suddenly feel like crap because she is so judgemental. So not only is she saying these things to me, she is talking about it to everyone else! :cry: I've never been small either and it just irritates me that someone like her can get to me like this. :nope: I gained 20 pounds with my first pregnancy too because after MCing I ate like crazy in depression. So I'm carrying around 65 pounds of 'baby' weight and I am very tempted to scream at her. But I won't because I'm a grown adult and Emma doesn't need to see mommy throw a tantrum. :rofl:
 
Thanks Girls

Yeah I did get an awful fright - but she is fine thank god. I honestly never want to feel the way I did in that instant but unfortunately I think we all will a million times over when they get going on their feet - hopefully there wont be too many falls and bumps. I probably will handle it better then though as she will be hardier - she just seems so little now to have any sort of bumps and especially not a complete tumble - funny though I am normally so good in a crisis but I totally feel apart - anybody I have spoken too though reckons when it comes to your own kids and a crisis you will always fall apart.

Yeah being back at work is hard but we only get 26 weeks including 2 weeks before due date here in Ireland - Its not too bad though as it is only two days a week until the summer and then I am off for the summer and I'll do 3 days then as Natasha will be a year at that stage and in fact work are waiting on their budget to come in so its fairly quiet and I'm only in for 2 mornings for the first few weeks, so i really can't complain - I do feel more tired though where Natasha is sometimes awake at night and It already felt like there wasn't enough hours in the day sometimes without putting work into it lol - but I will get back into the swing of it in a few weeks - the hardest part I think is having more to think about than just Natasha if that makes sense.

Cleck: I'm so sorry your SIL is making you feel like crap but please dont - you may have put on weight but which of us didn't and because of it you have the healthiest happiest little girl - thats the way I see it - I know my weight bothers me but its more the pain I end up in because of the extra pressure on my joints but any time it does I just think well if I didn't put on this weight Natasha may not have been so healthy - I agree with the others she sounds really scared and you are getting the brunt of her hormones, she probably doesn't think she will ever be as good a mom as you and this could be her way of putting you down without even realising it - I really think you will be able to help her through this.

MollyApple and Sam: Thanks for sharing your storys - you are both great for coping with those hard situations and you are both great mom's too.

Pippin: I was the same as you and Natasha was so so so wanted but it did take me a couple of weeks before that gush came in and I was really upset and thought there was something wrong with me as I didn't feel this but I think a lot of women experience it between hormones and exhaustion after the labour and childbirth - I knew I loved her but wasn't in love with her IYKWIM.

Well I'm gonna run as I'm in work again in the morning. :hugs: to all. Xx
 
i did feel that 'rush of love' either, i was scared to look at jesse at first and when the gave jesse to me i just remember looking at him and thinking he didnt look anything like what id imagined, it took me a while to get used to him, for the first few weeks i did feel like i was just looking after someone elses baby, i think looking back i did have a touch of the baby blues, its only in the last few weeks iv really started to feel attatched and bonded to him, i know it sounds awful but i think for the first few months i just didnt know what i was doing and was just 'pretending' to feel what everyone expected me too, dont get me wrong i did love him and was protective of him but i felt quite detatched from the whole thing, only recently have i started realising thats hes my little boy and am only just starting to get that feeling when i hold him, i feel guilty saying that, but i also feel alot better reading through everyone elses stories and knowing it was just me! so thankyou yet again girls xxxxx
 
Hiya ladys sorry i havnt been on have been reading.
right for what i can rember.

About the rush of love with Rueben i didnt feel the rush of love for a few days as i was so washed out i was in labur for 36hrs. But with Lucas because he looked and still looks the split of rueben i fell in love the mo i seen him. I really didnt think he would look so much like rueben but i look at the pics of rueben as a baby and of lucas and you cant tell them apart.


Cleckner~ My sis was the same when she was preg with her LO after i had rueben i went from 11stone to 17stone and my sis was the same as youer sil starving her self because she didnt want to be like me. i just looked at my son and throt he loves me the way iam and loved cuddling up to me better than hard bones lol. All the way throw with Lucas i got you have to wach what you eat you cant be putting on weight. i lost all my baby weight after rueben and only gaind 1 stone with lucas. But felt crap every one telling my to wach out.

Jelr~ I think you did brill. Every time Rueben fell over i would frezze any one else iam fine with and dnt care about blood on any thing. But when it comes to ur own it is a hole diff thing. The outher week when rueben split his eye open i was in fits crying and shooting didnt know what to do. People say it gets easyer but i dnt think it dose as when they are babys there bones bend when they get older they brack.

A.F.U
I have now stoped doing BLW i feel so crap about stoping and hate my self for it but lucas was getting so grummy and wanting so much milk i have gone to home made slop. Every time i think about it i kick my self but i am hoping it is best for him.

gotta run i have a stinky baby lol
 
Emma is six months today!!! :happydance: And I'm super proud to have made my original goal of six months of breastfeeding!! :happydance::happydance::happydance: Sorry for the indulgent post. I'll be back later to do a real post but I have to take Emma's six month piccies first. :thumbup:
 
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