My OH has really been putting on the pressure to try for #3. I really want to wait at least two years. I know I can deal with anything given to us..BUT in all honesty you ladies with 3 under 3 do you think its a good idea? Would you recommend it even if your experience is perfect or horrible lol. I really think its an awful idea for us
While my third isn't here yet, soon i will have 3 under 3.
...i think you both need to be on board with it, if thats what you plan. I dont think you should do it if you feel like it would be a bad idea.
With that said, i had 2 under 2...im now to the attitude of, what the heck is one more? lol might as well have 3 under 3. However, we were planning a large age gap between #2 and #3 but due to health issues we decided it would be best to have our third now. So our circumstances changed what is best for us, but had my medical problems not existed, we def would have waited. However, we are not in a "normal" life situation. We dont have family. We dont have any close friends. We dont have child care. We are a one income family. So we are stretched. Stretched financially, stretched physically and emotionally. It can be tough (mostly bc there isn't such thing as break from the kids-our dates include the children lol), but otherwise i def think it can be doable for the "average" family (that has the support, etc). I also think once we get out of the next couple of yrs, things will be easier in the long run. I know im looking forward to never having to go through sleepless nights again
The only thing i will mention is something that no one ever thought to tell me...(not that it would have mattered- we still would have gone through w 3 under 3 bc of the health issues), but no one told me how hard it would be on my body. I mean, i knew my body wouldnt be "pretty" after having this many kids so close in age (i had an MC the month before DS1). I also knew it would be slightly more tiring bc i would be pregnant and having to run after TWO toddlers, as opposed to one, etc. I didn't figure it would be tough at all bc my other two pregnancys were relativly easy....yeah...totally wrong about that assumption! This time around ive been dealing with severe prolapse-so lots of pains that are excaterbated bc i got pregnant so soon, I have hypermesis (which i never had before) and that was hard enough, let alone keeping up w two toddlers, i was still nursing DS2 but had to stop bc physically i just couldn't keep up with it anymore (im a firm believer in BLWing so that made me feel guilty). On top of this, bc i got pregnant so quickly after each baby, now i have diasties recti (sp?) which is basically that my stomach muscles have torn apart. I didn't let them heal since i got pregnant so fast, and bam. No proper muslces which causes a lot of back ache and an ugly over hang. And bc my body is just so fragile bc i never allowed even a yr between pregnancys to bounce back, im dealing with harsh back aches, sciatica and SPD. All things that i didn't deal with in my other pregnancys (well i had a mild case of SPD but it wasn't anything that bothered me). The more along i get w this pregnancy, the more in pain i am. I dont want to sound like a debbie downer, but i feel that (had my medical circumstances allowed), and i had known this, i sure as heck would have waited longer to get pregnant again. I used to be one of those ladies that LOVED being pregnant. But now? Going through this pregnancy i am terrified to be pregnant EVER again (not that i should bc of health issues anyways). I dont want to be pregnant so much that DH is getting the snip in a few weeks.
Again, i dont want this to sound negative. Some ppl have amazing bodies and bounce back quite well and handle three pregnancys on top of each other like they are super woman. Which is awesome and you could totally be one of those ladies. But this was my reality and it's something that i wish i had known before hand. Everyone talks about the financial and emotional aspects of 3 under 3. Which dont get me wrong is very important to consider too! but not many ppl ever say how detrimental it can be on moms health. Not only that but in some ways it inadvertantly effected my childrens mental/physical health too. As i mentioned i had to stop BFing DS2 (who was NOT ready even though we did it gradually over 2 months). He is a high needs baby and quiting just made it worse. Then i was sick up until a week or so ago (im 24 weeks now) that i was gating them into the living room with toys and cartoons while i slept on the couch most of the morning. I was in survival mode bc the HG was so horrible. I firmly believe that my decline in health contributed greatly to the reason i have HG. I really believe things would have been different had i waited a couple of years to get pregnant. My kids wern't getting the attention they needed and i constantly felt drained. Also, i scared the bejeebies out of DS1 for the first few months bc i had such violent vomiting episodes that occured 15+ times per day. It really did scare him. Then i wasnt eating bc i couldn't stomach it. I couldnt even think about food without throwing up, so then my kids were basically living on cereal and bananas, during the day, bc of it. So i know their health was effected too...so just more issues than ppl seem to say when you discuss having more.
im truly not trying to scare you off (or anyone thinking about 3 under 3). As i mentioned, some ladies and families handle this eloquently and with relative ease. I just dont like to sugar coat things and i think it's only fair to bring different perspectives to the table.
Best of luck in whatever you decide. Please dont be scared off by what i have mentioned. But do take into consideration the "risk" of it too. I wish i would have known about these things earlier, tbh. but they are things that ppl dont like to discuss bc it isnt always acceptable.
I do want a third but I just think that the best time to ttc would be 2 years from now when the boys will be a little older. I think financially and physically I could take it but mentally 3 under 3 would be hard to not be so stressed.
I mean my sister had a baby at 39yrs old.
we are still discussing and deciding. He asks me to stop taking birth control, which he hates from a religious and manly stand point (no sex drive, mood swings and weird bleeding patterns), and to just not prevent and not actively try just go with it. Which sounds great in theory but that's how #2 got here! It took over 2 years and clomid for us to have #1 so I thought it wrong to prevent what we tried so hard for then 6 months post partum to my surprise I was pregnant!
cant believe i'll have 3 under 3 soon!
dont worry, i wont be in 3 under 3 for long (DS1 turns 3 Sept 4th, baby is due August 31st/Sept 1st depending on what you go by. Anyways, im doing okay...much better now that im not dealing with HG, although i am starting to get nausea again, but i'll gladly take that over what i was dealing w!
