London TTC buddies chat thread

[Leeze]

You know I've got everything crossed for you and I've heard lots of stories, mine included, where people got pregnant just at the point they were getting tests done or looking into getting referred for fertility treatment. I'm doing great, feeling so much more confident about being a mum and just getting on with things rather than having to plan everything to the smallest degree. I've just learnt to breastfeed in the sling, which is so liberating. Yesterday I ended up feeding her in Sainsbury's as we were walking round, it's pretty discrete because I pull my coat round her a bit. Makes a big difference rather than trying to plan everything around being sat down somewhere to feed. Hopefully your turn soon! Xx

 

[mk8]

Yay leeze! So happy youre loving mama hood. I was in crouch end today and thought of you- thats where you said you moved to right?

Well af is here. What a kick in the teeth. I expected spotting to start thurs or fri and othing. By sat my boobs still hurt and i expected af- it didnt come all day and i got excited. Then light spotting hit around 5pm. Got progressively heavier spotting today and fresh blood has just appeared(11pm). Had a mini meltdown yest. Anyway, i can get on with my hsg but docs said it has o be done cd 6-10. If i count today as day 1, days 7-10 falls on the jubilee weekend and nobody does hsg then (public or pvt). Next fri - worried i might still have light bleeding and hardly any hospitals do the hsg on a fri! What to do? Book fri and hope all bleeding stops? I usually have dark brown discharge then. Or do it cd11? Is cd11 dangerous? Ugh! To top it off, i cant get cd11 off work so will have to pull a sickie. Ideally id do fri and take the day off but theres a bug chance i will still be bleeding and finding a clinic will be tough... Hmmmmm....

 

[SophieBee]

Hey all. Sorry for not coming on here for a while - I've been having a properly horrible couple of months.

I've been keeping up on the posts and following your updates - my thoughts have been with you, even if I haven't managed to get on here and say hello.

I just wanted to let you know that my Dad passed away on Sunday. It was quite sudden and unexpected - although his health had been rapidly declining lately we thought he'd be around for another month or so. He was admitted into hospital on Saturday with pneumonia and heart complications and died on Sunday afternoon. I'm glad that it was quite quick and he is no longer in pain. I'm glad that he didn't have to spend very long in the hospital. And I'm glad that there was enough time for his closest family to get to him in the end. I'm really sad he's gone though.

So that's that really. I'm going to head off again - not sure when I'll be back on as we aren't going to be hurrying into IVF again (need to get my head straight first). Feel free to get in touch of course, and know that I do think of you all lots

xxx

 

[mk8]

Hi again Sophie, I just posted on your blog. Sorry about your dad again. If you want to talk (type), pls feel free to on here. Here for you.

 

[Leeze]

Aw, Soph - am shedding a little tear for your Dad. That's really sad and a shame you lost him sooner than you thought but like you said good he didn't suffer too much at the end. Sorry this is very brief but phone battery nearly out. Mk8 cd11 should be fine. Just don't bd without condoms this month before then. And do O tests just in case xx

 

[mk8]

Hi girls

Got my results on paper. All normal except my hsg says "slightly irregular uterine cavity possible due to submucosal fibroids". Tubes ok. I'm worried and have read that it can make it tough to carry a baby. I'm seeing the private doc to discuss on mon. In the meantime I'm stressing.

Hope you're all well though.

 

[Leeze]

That's great you've got all the results back. Not an expert by any means but 'slightly' doesn't make it sound like it's definitely going to be a problem. Try to enjoy your weekend and see what the Doctor says on Monday. Let us know how it goes. Hugs xx

 

[Leeze]

How did it go today, mk8? Thinking of you and sending hugs and positive vibes. Hugs to Soph and Clanger too if either of you are around? Xx

 

[mk8]

Hi Leeze,

Thanks for checking in on me. Very sweet of you. The appointment was good. I met with Mr Summers, a doctor at The Bridge Clinic. I was also meant to meet with the Genetics councellor but she didn't make it into work so that was a bit annoying (not that I wanted to meet her but they insisted that I did).

Anyway, this is what he said:

- Progesterone a bit low (27nmol/l) but that shouldnt cause a problem. I am definitely ovulating but the quality is questionable. Something I always wondered as I spot brown for a day or 2 before AF. LP is also 12 days incl spotting.
- HSG said uterine cavity was "slightly irregular" - He said it could be a submucosal fibroid (one that grows inside the cavity), a polyp or just a fold. HSG is great at looking at tube patency but other tests are better for detecting polyps and fibroids. He said that the HSG is not good at distinguishing betw fibroids and polyps. Suggested next step: to do an "aqua scan" which is basically like an HSG except they put saline up your hoo haa and use ultrasound rather than xray to get an image. apparently it is v good at differentiating betw a polyp or a fibroid. 97% of the time polyps are benign and 99.9% of the time fibroids are benign. At first I thought "YAY", now I am fretting about the remaining 3% and 0.1%! I need to do the aqua scan between days 6-12. He said I cant usually get it done on the NHS.
- Some things in my bloods looked off too. I have elevated RBC and other stuff which he said he would like me to revert back to my GP to ask him to refer me for more tests. Specifically an iron profile. He said he will write a referral letter to my GP requesting him to order this for me on the NHS. Kinda worried what it could be. He said it could be just low iron. If it isn't then I may need to be referred to the haematologist dept. EEK!

I am the biggest hypochondriac ever and I start thinking I am about to die!

But "death" aside. I did ask about what to do if I did have a fibroid or polyp. He said that they can be removed. I read there are risks to this affecting fertility - he said it can cause adhesions inside the uterus but polyps do need to be removed. He said that I will need to discuss with the consultant to ensure that my fertility is preserved.

We discussed medical cover. My insurance company will not pay for anything fertility related. If tests/surgery is required for non fertility reasons, it will be considered.

Doc also suggested I get AMH levels checked to see my ovarian reserves.

So basically, my next steps are:
1. See GP to get more bloods done (booked in for next Tues).
2. Get aqua scan done (call up on day 1 of AF, just like with HSG).
3. Get AMH checked when I go to do scan.

I am currently on day... 22/23 (I have forgotten now).

I really hope that everything is OK and I get my BFP soon. I wanna be a mummy!

How are you doing Leeze? How is the little one? Time flies eh? She must be so big now!

Sophie- are you around hun? Hope you're well.

Clanger- are you around? Hope things are good with you and your little family. Thinking of you all.

 

[Leeze]

Hi hon. Well, they sound very thorough and I know it's easy for me to say but I don't think any of that sounds too problematic in terms of stopping your dreams of becoming a mummy. One of my friends had fibroids and another had a polyp. Both had surgery and both now have lovely baby girls. Have you got any sense of how much the further tests and scans will cost? Might be worth you finding out if different clinics will do it at different rates. Also, I remember the consultant from the Homerton telling of that there's another option for fertility treatment and tests etc which is between private and NHS. I can't remember what it's called but basically you end up paying pretty much what it costs them to carry out the treatment etc and you get treated the same as an NHS patient eg waiting times, NHS clinics, not private rooms etc - but you can pay for it yourself so you get the treatment that you need but aren't entitled to on the NHS without having to pay the private rates. I'm not sure what is covered in this, but it might be worth looking into it. Does that make sense, not sure I'm explaining it very well? Although, there's a lot to be said for going privately if it's just for 2 or 3 scans or tests. I had a great experience for the private HSG and it was great not to have to join a big waiting list. Keep us treated honey, and remind yourself that you're another step along your TTC journey! Xxx As for me, I'm loving being a Mummy. Kia's a little sweetheart and it's so lovely seeing her personality growing. She started waking up a lot more at night so I've been reminded again about the horrors of sleep deprivation, but otherwise everything is going really well. Xx

 

[Leeze]

Oops. Silly phone! Keep us treated should be keep us updated! Xx

 

[mk8]

Thanks Leeze. So good to hear that your are loving mummyhood Hopefully Kia will sleep through to the morning so that you can get some decent sleep.

When are you going back to work? Are you going to go back to work?

You know, before I started this TTC journey, I said I would definitely go back to work, that I would HAVE TO work. Now... If... No, make that WHEN I have my baby, I would like to not go back to work (if I could financially). Strange how things work out I guess eh? I keep telling myself to stay positive. I occasionally freak out that I am getting older and it stresses me out so much.

Anyway, in terms of the saline ultrasound - I think I will just do it at Bridge. The doctor there is really good, excellent qualifications (Cambridge Uni grad, University of Pennsylvania, Harvard Medical School. He is a PHD and completed a fellowship in infertility. Has 30 odd years medical experience). The cost should be similar to other private places, it's a similar cost to the HSG so around £500 I think. I may as well do the AMH there at the same time too.

On another note, boobs aching and I am on day 23 (ish). Grrrrrr

 

[Leeze]

Thanks hon. She slept through last night and I had a great sleep so feel amazing today. I'm due back at work at the end of October and am not looking forward to leaving her. I'd love to not have to go back but we can't afford it. Good plan for you to go with consultant you've met. Sounds like you trust him and it will be well worth the money if it gets you your lovely baby at the end of it! And re your age, it's really after 40 when you're considered older in fertility terms so try not to worry! Hugs xx

 

[mk8]

Hi Leeze, sorry I thought I had replied to this. How are you? Kia sleeping through still? Whilst I imagine it is tough to go back to work in October, think of it as an opportunity for Kia to socialise in nursery and for you to have a bit of a break also. What else is new with you?

So I had my aqua scan today at Bridge, as well as an AMH blood test. Maaaaan that was interesting. A lovely nurse came to get me and the doctor waved hello to me and said "Hi! I am the guy who is going to cause you lots of pain" - ARGH! He was trying to be funny of course. So I got my kit off and lay on the chair with my legs in stirrups and my wotsit in full view. Doc, the nurse and I had some idle chit chat. They asked me where I work... I took a moment to think about whether or not to tell them - opted to be honest and told them I work for a bank (which before anybody hates me, I am sadly not a rich banker, I am a lowly analyst who gets cr*p pay, no bonuses, brings in my own lunch and have been put on risk of redundancy 10 times in the past 18 months...sigh...) But anyway, they both went "ahhh", at which point I thought "please dont hurt me!"

Anyway, Doc sat himself down and the procedure involved inserting a speculum, cleaning the cervix, sticking in a catheter (which looked way too long and scary for my liking), skirting in saline solution to expand the uterine cavity (so the cavity is inflated and you can see the shape more), then inserting in the transvaginal probe to have a good look around. Interesting bits were when the doc didnt know how to take photos and asked the nurse, who also didnt know and after a few mins of pressing things whilst all those bits were stuck up my wotsit, they finally called in help (thank gawd!) The test was more painful than an HSG. It was longer and I got some cramping. All the saline in me also leaked out over the poor doctors trousers! Dangers of being a gynaecologist eh?? So he needs to evaluate the piccies and I need to ring my consultant.

 

[Leeze]

Hi hon. Great to hear from you. I know what you mean about nursery and when I rationalise it then I think it'll be ok, but I hate the thought of missing out on so many of her experiences and that somebody else will get to share them with her. Does that make sense? Other news with us is that our building work finally has a start date re hopefully we'll be moved and settled by the time I go back to work. Great to hear about your tests. I love your description of it all. Funny how the staff didn't know how to take the pictures. When will you find out? Well done you for going through more tests, hopefully your turn will come very soon xx

 

[mk8]

Hi Leeze

I know what you mean about not wanting to miss out on stuff. I was talking to my sister about work and she thinks that work stress is the cause of my infertility (which I am not too sure about) and she told me to quit! I said "and live on what?!?!?" To which she said that my DH can support me, that I need to think about what I really want in life and put all my heart into it. Hubby isn't by any means a millionaire but we can survive on his salary if necessary, just means no holidays (unless theyre "staycations" on a groupon offer!), we stay in a small flat, dont get to eat out as much etc. Whilst I am not prepared to give up work now to "destress whilst we try" (I just think that would stress me out more - staying at home on these websites more than I am, worrying about our savings going down etc etc, worrying that we wont have enough money for ivf etc if required) I am starting to think that I will quit my job after I have my bubba. I used to think I would do full time after a year of maternity leave but now I think I might stay home depending on the situation with dh and work. Our lifestyle will have to change significantly but I think it would be worth it. Obviously things may change when the time comes, but if I feel that staying at home is REALLY important to me, then I guess I will have to make other less important sacrifices. I guess what I am trying to say is, if you REALLY want to stay home, then speak to Mr Leeze and see if you can make it work. If not, it doesn't make you a bad mother and you will still get to see Kia doing some wonderful things as she grew up. I hardly saw my mum growing up as she was a single parent of four and was working days and nights but our relationship is great.

Oh, as for my tests- scans revealed no polyps, fibroids or anything dodgey- hurrah! So the "house" is all good. However, my AMH result revealed some not so good results. I have a 15.11pmol/l, which is "low fertility" (but it is the high end of low fertility/ v low end of satisfactory fertility). So despite being 32 (just), I don't have many eggs Feel a bit crappy and a bit panicky I guess as time is against me. Though I am trying to remind myself that people with much lower AMH levels get their bfps. I am going back to see my FS on Weds and am scared about what will happen next.

 

[mk8]

Oh yay to the building work!

 

[Leeze]

Hi sweetie

You know, your sister might be on to something about stress having an impact on fertility. If your job is stressful, is there anything you can do to make it less stressful? My job could be quite stressful, but my manager knew about my m/c and actually helped me to make some changes to my role to reduce the stress before I got my BFP. Always worth considering if this is possible. Saying that, if you're thinking you might not go back after bubba then maybe you're disinvesting already which could be the start of reducing stress!! I generally like my job and thought I'd be a lot happier about returning - but I really think I could happily be a SAHM. Sadly, we've looked closely at the finances and just can't afford it at the moment. Maybe in a few years, or if we had another one at some point... You never know!! That's reassuring to know about your relationship with your Mum. I think I have got a fear that Kia will feel abandoned and will struggle, but saying that Mr Leeze had her for 2 longish (2 hours or more) stretches over the weekend on his own and she was absolutely fine. So, hopefully she'll adjust ok to it all. And lots of friends have said to me it's actually good to get some time away from their LOs and having part-time work gives a bit of a balance. So, fingers crossed!!!

Great to hear that the tests showed nothing "too dodgy"! Sorry about the AMH levels, is there anything that can be done about that or is it something set in stone? Would you consider getting some eggs frozen, just in case? Bloody time, hey? How frustrating is that? Nature is so unkind, I think. For me, I didn't really feel ready to have children until about 35 and even then might have waited a bit longer if I hadn't been worried about my age. Saying that, I wouldn't have Kia now if we'd waited longer. So, you could try to see it as being an extra incentive to push you even closer to that BFP? I know I'd got to the point after a year of TTC and everyone around getting BFPs that I felt I would do everything I could to make it happen. Perhaps if you felt you had the luxury of lots of time you wouldn't be so focused on it, do you know what I mean? Totally understandable to be a bit panicky, but wait and see what the FS says on Weds (do you mean tomorrow). Let me know how it goes, I'm hoping for some optimistic news for you! Big hugs xxx (and hugs to Clanger and Soph if either of you are around - missing you both xxx)

 

[mk8]

Thanks Leeze. Yes my appointments tomorrow. I'm in bed so will update properly later. Hope you're well (you too sophie and clanger if you're checking in).

 

[Leeze]

How did it go today? Xx