Looking for buddies with mental health problems to share my journey with..

[ces2008]

June 7
No Use Complaining
Ur world, and the people who share it with us, are far from perfect. So if we choose, we can find plenty to complain about. But whats the use? What do we gain? Who really listens anyway? Besides, by merely complaining, we rarely get what we want or solve the problem. In fact, we often make the situation worse.
On the other hand, we can choose to see our disappointments and problems as challenges-and sometimes as opportunities-rather than as reasons to complain.
Do I complain about everything today or do I look for opportunities and solutions?
Thought for the Day
When Focus on complaints, I cant see solutions; when I focus of opportunites, solutions and choices emerge.

 

[ces2008]

June 8
When Others Dont Understand
There are many myths and misconceptions about mental illness. Not everyone has a full understanding of what these illnesses are, or of the symptoms they produce.
So when others do not understand, or are quic to judge our behavior or our illness, let us not react out of frustration or a feeling of inadequacy. Let us not hold them in contempt. Instead, let us recognize that many people have yet to learn about mnetal illness and many are afraid and not yet ready to learn.
Let us teach those who are willing to listen and be patient with those who are not. If we do, we will learn about ourselves as well.
Do I have patience and tolerance for others--and myself--today?
Thought for the Day
Teaching takes place only when others are willing to learn.

 

[ces2008]

June 9
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Being Honest with Ourselves
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Some of us have a difficult time being honest with ourselves about our illness--and even about our life. We may tell ourselves that the pain we endured or the things we did weren't as serious as they actually were. Or we tell ourselves that our lives have not really changed because of our illness, or that our illness has had little or no effect on anyone around us.
But when we're honest with ourselves, we are sure to discover that, for the most part, this just isn't so.
Bing honest with ourselves about our illness and our life is difficult, but it can be done. It begins when we look at ourselves and our situation as they truly are, not as we want them to be or think they should be.
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Am I honest with myself today?
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Thought for the Day
Nothing nurtures recovery more than simple honesty.

 

[lupinerainbow]

Hey, sorry I been MIA for a while I do that for the first part of my cycle. Had a bit of a struggle this cycle with my MH so haven’t even DTD at the right time so this is just a wasted cycle. So this is going to be a weirdly long post because I’m going to go back over everything everyone has said... here goes.
Bearsmummy- Welcome! - I have recently started not hiding my scars anymore with the exception of when I am around children. I like the idea of the tattoo you said, I am a bit tattoo mad and have been looking for a quote that fits and I think ‘every scar tells a story’ is perfect
Ces- I hope you are feeling better right now than you was when you said that you wanted to climb in bed and never get out again… this is exactly what I have been doing. My fears are worms, spiders and being alone. My main fears a 1- I will never get pregnant. 2- I will not make a good mother/ I won’t be able to be a good mother because of my mental health. 3- I won’t ever recover from this mental illness. 4- My husband will get fed up with my behaviour and regret being with me. 5- I will still have episodes of psychosis if I do become a mother and my child has to suffer because of it (I would never hurt my child, I mean things like having to have me go into hospital or me not being able to care for them because I am not capable). Aww congrats to your neice it won’t be long before she turns into a little tornado About your meds I think you need to voice your concerns to your doctor, they won’t rush you off them if its going to make you unstable, your health comes first in this situation. PS. Sorry you got to your 1 year, really hope you don’t have to wait much longer I just reached my 3 years 6 months :/
Emma- Hey :wave: Welcome
So, how are you all doing?
xxxxx

 

[ces2008]

im doing better. i just spent time with my 9 month old niece (from my sister) and nephew (from my sil) today. I went to see my obgyn again. he wants me to continue temping/opks/bd every other day for another 4 cycles (total of 6) and if nothing by then, he will put me on clomid. fingers crossed it happens soon. Im sorry uve been having a hard time. hugs! if u ever need to talk, im on here everyday! time for bed. talk to u later!

 

[ces2008]

June 10
Where Our Gifts Come From
The gift of recovery, and all that it offers, comes not only from our own efforts, but also from other people and our Higher Power.
Perhaps we have crossed oceans and clibed mountains to arrive at this point in our recovery. We can be proud of how far we have come and all the work we have done.
But let us not forget the support and strength we have received from a Power greater than ourselces--which includes other people. Let ius realize that what has taken place is nothing short of a miracle.
Today, do I remind myself that my recovery is a gift from my Higher Powwr?
Thought for the Day
Recovery means not having to do everything myself.

 

[Gunnhilde]

Can I join too? I'm WTT, but bordering on TTC (we'll see how it goes).

I've got social anxiety that I've spent the last 18 months in group therapy for. You'd never guess either as I'm a total extrovert. I've also got dysthymia (chronic low grade depression) that seems to feed off of or be caused by my social anxiety and/or perfectionist tendencies.

 

[ces2008]

Can I join too? I'm WTT, but bordering on TTC (we'll see how it goes).

I've got social anxiety that I've spent the last 18 months in group therapy for. You'd never guess either as I'm a total extrovert. I've also got dysthymia (chronic low grade depression) that seems to feed off of or be caused by my social anxiety and/or perfectionist tendencies.

Welcome! Of course u can join! Like I've said to everyone else, feel free to add me! I've learned with these ladies, that it helps to talk to women who understand exactly how u feel. I talk to my husband and therapist, but talking to these ladies (and now u) helps. My husband and therapist dont understand how it feels to be ttc and battling mental illness. We can help an support each other!

 

[ces2008]

Can I join too? I'm WTT, but bordering on TTC (we'll see how it goes).

I've got social anxiety that I've spent the last 18 months in group therapy for. You'd never guess either as I'm a total extrovert. I've also got dysthymia (chronic low grade depression) that seems to feed off of or be caused by my social anxiety and/or perfectionist tendencies.

LOTS OF
TO US ALL!!

 

[ces2008]

June 11

How I Feel Today

Am I angry, anxious, apathetic, or bored? Confident, confused, or curious? Determined, disappointed, enthusiastic, envious, or excited? Peaceful, proud, or puzzled? Regretful, relieved, or satisfied?

As we go through our day, it is imperative that we know just how we are feeling, so that we can manage, cope with, and learn from our emotions. If we do not know how we're feeling, we may respond in appropriately, hurt ourselves, or hurt someone else.

As we identify our feelings, we can write them down or share them with others--whichever way makes it easier for us to namne them.

Do I stay in touch with my feelings today?

Thought for the Day
If I know how I feel, I can cope with my emotions.

 

[ces2008]

June 12
A Place Where We Belong
Many of us have been searching for a place where we belong, a place where we can be ourselves, where we no longer have to hide the fact of our illness.
Though it is elusive at times, this place is neither imaginary nor external: it lies within us. Too often we only look to the world around us for acceptance and comfort when in fact they can be available within ourselves.
Today, do I look within for comfort and acceptance?
Thought for the Day
The acceptance and comfort I seek lies within me.

 

[ces2008]

(today is my 4th anniverary!)
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June 13
Surrenderinc to Reality
Some of us are still not sure that we have a mental illness. For some of us, this fight is continuous and painful. Even worse, our denial only leads us further and further away from recovery.
If we are to be at peace with our illness and ourselves, we must admit that our illness is at times much greater than we are. If we are to be at peace with our illness and find serenity, we must turn to a Power greter than ourselves.
Do I surrender to the truth about my illness today?
Thought for the Day
Simply by surrendering to the fact that I have a mental illness and cannot get well again on my own, I am already on the road to peace and recovery.

 

[faeriedust]

Hello Ladies! I am Bipolar II and TTC. We were NTNP for about 18 months, but decided 6 months ago to actually try!

I have struggled with my Bipolar since I was about 15, so 12 years! I take Lithium twice every day, and it works great for me. I hated being on meds when I was younger, so I never bothered taking them, and my family doesn't believe in mental illness. I self-treated my bipolar with alcohol. My psych and therapist agree that I am not an alcoholic, but do abuse it. They both find it odd tho that I will not drink in my house. I've also struggled with self harm. Its more than cutting, as strange as this sounds, I rip my toe nails off, and all of the skin on my fingers. I quit doing drugs 6 years ago when I started dating my husband and he told me it was them or him. While he is extremely supportive, he doesn't understand. He doesn't understand what I mean when I say I can be standing in the middle of a crowded room and feel completely alone. I have very few friends, mostly aquaintences. I just don't find people genuine enough to want to spend my time around them.

I don't get full-blown manic, I get hypomanic. WHICH I LOVE! lol! I am an artist, and some of my best creativity happens when I'm having an episode. I also paint and do ceramics(pottery) when I'm spiraling downward.

My doctor decided back in January that he didn't think I was bipolar anymore (what, did I rinse it off in the shower??) and that I have Borderline Personality Disorder, Anxiety and Major Depression. I get the depression, but the other 2? I have never had an anxiety problem, and Borderline isn't me. So he took me off Lithium and put me on Abilify, Celexa and Buspar. Great idea, according to the psychiatric hospital that was "the stupidest" thing my dr could have done for me. The combination locked me in a massive depressive episode, I thank God my husband was home for it. He forced me to sign myself into the psych hospital because I would have killed myself had he not walked in the room at that moment.

Needless to say, I don't like my psych. But there is no one esle for over 100 miles that my insurance covers. He also told me he doesn't think I should get pregnant because I am not a stable person, I just put on a good show.

Some days the idea of having a baby scares the daylights outta me. But from listening to other "normal" pregant women, they have similar fears "will I be a good mother" or "will i be able to take care of the baby" but the one I feel they don't think about "how will I take care of a baby when I have trouble taking care of myself????"I raised my sister, why do I doubt myself constantly?

Sorry for the long post Ladies! But I figured giving you my story was a good introduction! I look forward to getting to know you all! I can't wait to talk to people who actually understand!

 

[Gunnhilde]

@faeriedust I've never been on any meds so I don't know how that would work with pregnancy and child rearing, but I do know that it is possible to find work around strategies.

For example, I know that sometimes it is hard for me to get out and meet other moms for playgroups so I send her to school and signed her up for activities that if I don't feel up to doing because of my SA, I just have grandmother bring her.

Unlike you, I don't feel alone in a crowded room - I think everyone is judging me! Which is silly, because people care mainly about themselves.

It is just really important for you to have support, whether it be family or your OH. I also can't recommend a support group for mental health issues enough. It was so empowering for me to know that I wasn't alone. You might find other moms with the same issues and they can tell you how that works out for them.

 

[ces2008]

Hello Ladies! I am Bipolar II and TTC. We were NTNP for about 18 months, but decided 6 months ago to actually try!

I have struggled with my Bipolar since I was about 15, so 12 years! I take Lithium twice every day, and it works great for me. I hated being on meds when I was younger, so I never bothered taking them, and my family doesn't believe in mental illness. I self-treated my bipolar with alcohol. My psych and therapist agree that I am not an alcoholic, but do abuse it. They both find it odd tho that I will not drink in my house. I've also struggled with self harm. Its more than cutting, as strange as this sounds, I rip my toe nails off, and all of the skin on my fingers. I quit doing drugs 6 years ago when I started dating my husband and he told me it was them or him. While he is extremely supportive, he doesn't understand. He doesn't understand what I mean when I say I can be standing in the middle of a crowded room and feel completely alone. I have very few friends, mostly aquaintences. I just don't find people genuine enough to want to spend my time around them.

I don't get full-blown manic, I get hypomanic. WHICH I LOVE! lol! I am an artist, and some of my best creativity happens when I'm having an episode. I also paint and do ceramics(pottery) when I'm spiraling downward.

My doctor decided back in January that he didn't think I was bipolar anymore (what, did I rinse it off in the shower??) and that I have Borderline Personality Disorder, Anxiety and Major Depression. I get the depression, but the other 2? I have never had an anxiety problem, and Borderline isn't me. So he took me off Lithium and put me on Abilify, Celexa and Buspar. Great idea, according to the psychiatric hospital that was "the stupidest" thing my dr could have done for me. The combination locked me in a massive depressive episode, I thank God my husband was home for it. He forced me to sign myself into the psych hospital because I would have killed myself had he not walked in the room at that moment.

Needless to say, I don't like my psych. But there is no one esle for over 100 miles that my insurance covers. He also told me he doesn't think I should get pregnant because I am not a stable person, I just put on a good show.

Some days the idea of having a baby scares the daylights outta me. But from listening to other "normal" pregant women, they have similar fears "will I be a good mother" or "will i be able to take care of the baby" but the one I feel they don't think about "how will I take care of a baby when I have trouble taking care of myself????"I raised my sister, why do I doubt myself constantly?

Sorry for the long post Ladies! But I figured giving you my story was a good introduction! I look forward to getting to know you all! I can't wait to talk to people who actually understand!

Welcome! I'm glad you found us! I know how u feel about some of this. Feel free to read my previous posts on here!

 

[ces2008]

June 14
Relationships
Many of us with a mental illness have struggled with relationships. We may not accept ourselves and our illness and therefore think others will not accept us because we have an illness. When we think this way, we are likely to isolate ourselves from other people.
But if we want to build relationships and allow intimacy in our lives, we must begin to take risks. This may be difficult and fearful in the beginning. But the more we accept ourselves and the more we reach out, the easier it gets.
Am I willing to take the first step in building a relationship today?
Thought for the DaI can begin to form relationships by accepting myself and reaching out.

 

[1eighty]

I've left the bits I find all-too familiar:

I self-treated my bipolar with alcohol. My psych and therapist agree that I am not an alcoholic, but do abuse it.

I've danced with alcoholism twice now, I can see when it's coming and avoid it now though.

I've also struggled with self harm. Its more than cutting, as strange as this sounds, I rip my toe nails off, and all of the skin on my fingers.

I bite at my fingers and pick scabs and scratches until they are huge wounds. I used to cut and deliberately spoil my diet (eating too much, eating too little).

I can be standing in the middle of a crowded room and feel completely alone. I have very few friends, mostly aquaintences.

Yes! And so many people just don't get that!

I don't get full-blown manic, I get hypomanic. WHICH I LOVE! lol! I am an artist, and some of my best creativity happens when I'm having an episode. I also paint and do ceramics(pottery) when I'm spiraling downward.

I worked with mixed media, photoshop and all sorts. In my down times, I wrote the most awful poetry anyone had the misfortune to read. Now that I'm more stable, I find the creativity harder to foster, which saddens me enormously. It takes a lot for me to even start, never mind finish a painting or drawing. I was put on Lithium in the last year of my Art Degree and the work I produced then was so very different to the preceding years, the work I produced after coming off it was even more dissimilar to either preceding period!

My psych theorised that my Bipolar is comorbid with certain traits of Borderline Personality, and having read up on both I can see where he's coming from. BP is rarely an illness on its own, but I don't see why he would swap you from a regime that was clearly suited to you just because his opinion of your diagnosis differed from that of his predecessor?! You treat the symptoms with beepers, because you can't ever treat the cause. Lithium screwed me over, I'm glad it worked for you. Keep an eye out for your thyroid though, Li has a tendency to fux that up. I hope he puts you back on the path that was working!

I also want to recommend an author: Dr Kay Redfield Jamison - there's "An Unquiet Mind" and "Touched with Fire: Manic Depressive Illness and the Artistic Temperament" both I think would interest you.

 

[ces2008]

June 15
Holding On
Most of us have days when we feel like we just cant go on anymore. We cant take the stress and the emotions. We just want relief. Sometimes this is a nomal response to everyday life, other times its due to our illness.
Either way, when these days arrive, we need to reach out to family, friends, professionals, or anyone else inour support network who can provide relief. when we reach out for help, we are taking a step toward serenity and recovery. And soon we realize hat we can make it after all.
If I feel I just cant go on anymore today, do I reach out and ask for help?
Thought for the Day
I have to live through just one more situation and one day at a time.

 

[Rosiepooh]

Hi ladies!! So glad I found this group. I have been hesitant to post about my being Bipolar II and TTC. I was diagnosed in 2009 after my grandmother passed away in December 2007. She was bipolar and alcoholic. Something my father failed to mention to any of us- even my mom. We knew she was alcoholic but not bipolar. I also have anxiety disorder.

I started seeing tendencies in myself so wanted to get help before it got worse. I did good for about a year and then started having problems getting out of bed and my bottom of was imagining my house was in fire two months after we moved in. I broke down that day and told my DH that I hadn't been going to work for about 6 months. We got me in to see my therapist and I started on Celexa that same week. I never thought I'd have to be on meds, but I am on a low dose compared to most.

I recently switched therapists. Which has been a blessing. She is great! She got me to start journaling which has helped a lot. Especially with the added stress of starting fertility treatments in may.

I look forward to taking this journey with you all! I know it will be great to have not only friends who are TTC but also have mental health issues.

Baby dust to all!

 

[1eighty]

imagining my house was in fire two months after we moved in.

You just reminded me of my Bipolar paranoia, I was on a weird cocktail of drugs and got the strangest hallucinations and paranoid thoughts of randomness. I'd see slugs in my milk, and one day after putting the washing machine on, I became convinced it was going to blow up - I was so convinced of the danger that, rather than turn it off I grabbed the dog and the hamster cage and ran down the street, sat and hid behind some random person's house and called my mum.

I look back on it with a giggle now, but at the time it was the height of panic!