Looking for buddies with mental health problems to share my journey with..

[tamithomas]

a "recovered" Anorexic over here. I'm 22, DH is 43 and have been TTC for 3 years now. There's not a day that goes by where I just wanna give up, stop eating and run for 6 hours but TTC is keeping my in check. I am a self recovered anorexic as I don't believe that doctors no matter how much study can fully comprehend how to deal with an anorexic patient. It goes beyond just i wanna be skinny..it is a form of slow suicide which tags along with suicidal tendencies. There are days where I wake up I'm not gonna lie and just think "what is the point of living if I can't even provide the basic function in life of baring a child?" but luckily for the DH he is always there to pick me up when I'm down but it does get seriously hard at times though because I've become straightedge meaning no cigarettes, drugs or alcohol (was an abuser of all 3 before 3 years ago), have given up the party lifestyle, gave up my biggest coping mechanism in life of all time which is anorexia but still i feel like i'm getting punished. I feel like all of my efforts into cleaning up my life are useless. But, inspite of all of that i still keep my fingers crossed that one day we will get a BFP and that's what keeps me on my path. Glad to see a thread about mental illnesses.

 

[ces2008]

Welcome Everyone! Im glad you found us and joined it. Feel free to add me as a friend if you would like!!
For those of you that dont know, everyday I post that days daily meditation from "A Restful Mind Daily Meditations for Enhancing Mental Health" I read it everyday, and it really helps me. I recieved it when I "Graduated" from our "Partial Hospitalization Program" essentially our all-day, out-patient group therapy. It talks about your Higher Power alot. I've learned that we all have a Higher Power: be it religious or maybe just "The Universe." I hope it helps you the way it helps me.
*
*
June 16
Our Spiritual Journey
We begin our spiritual journey at different times in our lives, but most of us reach the same place eventually, where we accept the guidance of a Power greater than ourselves. A Power that cares for us and accepts us just as we are. A Power that guides us, teaches us, and grants us just what we need--and, at times, what we want. A Power that helps us cope with our illness each day. A Power that never leaves our side, even when we become angry and demanding.
If we have not yet begun our spiritual journey, there is still time to do so. Our Higher Power is there for us. All that is required from us is the willingness to begin.
Today, have I begun my spiritual journey?
Thought for the Day
Spirituality is a gift that is always available.

 

[faeriedust]

So has anyone on here stopped there meds when theyve gotten preggers? The concept of no Lithium scares the living daylights outta me!

 

[ces2008]

i prob will when i get pg. have u talked to the prescribing dr about what to do when u get pg?

 

[ces2008]

Sorry this is later than normal. I spent 7 hrs last night in the ER for a very painful Ruptured Ovarian Cyst! Still in a ton of pain today.
*
*
June 17
Reclaiming Our Lives
Reclaiming our lives does not mean total freedom from our illness and its symptoms, nor from our difficulties. But it can mean freedom from the worst we've experienced.
We no longer need to be a prisoner of our illness. We can know peace where there was once despair, and find faith where there was once hopelessness.
The first steps are accepting ourselces and our illness, reaching out to others who can help, and turning to our Higher Power for guidance.
Am I reclaiming my life today?
Thought for the Day
Reclaiming my life is a choice; it means accepting who I am while being willing to change.

 

[Rosiepooh]

Hope you are feeling better ces!! Does this impact your TTC at all? Hopefully not.

 

[ces2008]

Hope you are feeling better ces!! Does this impact your TTC at all? Hopefully not.

In a way it does. Totally threw this cycle out the window. Hurts like hell still. I almost got admitted overnight for pain control. The OBGYN that saw me gave me the option of staying for iv meds, or go home with oral meds. So I went home with the oral meds. If its not getting better tomorrow, I'm supposed to call my OBGYN to get reevaluated. Im in so much pain rite now. Fingers crossed it starts to settle down!

 

[Rosiepooh]

I hope it settles down for you and doesn't hamper future cycles. FX!! Keep up updated!

 

[Gunnhilde]

@ces2008 I think you'll be ok in the future. I've had some cysts on my ovary that sent me to the hospital in my teen years (I thought my appendix was infected) and I had no problems after that TTC.

Do you have PCOS? Do they know if it is related?

 

[ces2008]

I hope it settles down for you and doesn't hamper future cycles. FX!! Keep up updated!

Thanks! Will do!

 

[ces2008]

@ces2008 I think you'll be ok in the future. I've had some cysts on my ovary that sent me to the hospital in my teen years (I thought my appendix was infected) and I had no problems after that TTC.

Do you have PCOS? Do they know if it is related?

Thanks! Im not sure if I have PCOS. Never been diagnosed with it. Ive only known about 2 cysts so far, the on I had removed and this one. I didnt know about this one til i ruptured tho.
My sister asked if it could be causing my infertility. I said that I didnt know, but have only had 2. She pointed out that maybe Ive had more that I didnt know about.
Im def gonna ask if I dont get preg in the next few months. Right now, Im trying to focus on dealing with the pain Im still in.

 

[ces2008]

June 18
Our Higher Power Loves Us
In times of confusion and emotional turmoil, some of us have railed at our Higher Power. We were angry about all that had happened to us, full of resentment, and in need of someone to blame. Some of us even tried forcing our Higher Power out of our lives.
And yet, no matter what we said, our Higher Power never left us. It was usually we who left when we did not get what we demanded. Let us never forget that our Higher Power loves us and cares fo us, regardless of what we do.
Do I know that my Higher Power is unconditionally accepting of me today?
Though for the Day
In turmoil or good health, my Higher Power is always by my side.

 

[lupinerainbow]

Welcome to everyone new
Sorry I have been missing, not had a very good month mental health wise so didn’t really dtd much this cycle. Now have an even longer list of things wrong with me and they are changing my meds again so going through the whole withdrawing from one tablet and getting used to a new one thing which sucks but if it makes me better then great. Also starting psychotherapy in the next few weeks which im sure will have a good impact.
Ces- Sorry to hear your having a rough time with your cyst, I hope that the pain goes soon for you
Will try to pop in more often, feel free to contact me if any of you need a chat.

xxxxxxxxxx

 

[ces2008]

Welcome to everyone new
Sorry I have been missing, not had a very good month mental health wise so didn’t really dtd much this cycle. Now have an even longer list of things wrong with me and they are changing my meds again so going through the whole withdrawing from one tablet and getting used to a new one thing which sucks but if it makes me better then great. Also starting psychotherapy in the next few weeks which im sure will have a good impact.
Ces- Sorry to hear your having a rough time with your cyst, I hope that the pain goes soon for you
Will try to pop in more often, feel free to contact me if any of you need a chat.

xxxxxxxxxx

Thanks! The pain is starting to get better. Still hurts like Hell, but getting there. Ive been out of work due to a foot injury for 2 weeks, but I get to go back tomorrow! Yay!!!!
I'm sorry to hear you've been having a rough time! I'm glad you're getting help! Its always hard changing meds. Hopefully it helps you! Feel free to message me if you ever need to talk!
Psychotherapy is EXTREMELY helpful! I LOVE my therapist! He is awesome! EXTREMELY helpful! I've been seeing him for about 9 months. Its funny tho. He saw DH, started seeing me, see's my 11-year-old brother, see's my BFF/cousin and used to see my uncle! Thats how great he is!
Again, I'm here if you need to talk! Even if you just need me to listen! Hope things start going better for you! You will be in my thoughts!

 

[Rosiepooh]

Lupinerainbow- I'm sorry your having a rough time with your meds. I tried to take myself off my meds about a year ago and the withdrawl symptoms KILLED me!! I hope that it gets better! This is what makes me the most nervous about getting pg.... coming off my meds.

I agree- having a therapist is WONDERFUL! I just recently switched therapists. The old one just wanted to hear what was going on- never gave any insight on how to help the issues or anything. Plus the scheduling got horrible!! I couldn't get in to see the dr to get my meds refilled bc he kept cancelling my appoitments. So they told me I couldn't see my therapist until I saw him. When it was their fault I hadn't been able to! So I told them to forget it.

My new therapist is great so far. She really pushes me to try to see the root of issues that I am having. She's gotten me to start journaling on my own and also suggested yesterday when I saw her to start one with my DH as well. We each write down any feelings or anything we are afraid to say outloud during the week and then at the end of the week we sit down and discuss it together. We are going to strart it next week and see how it goes.

Do any of you with bipolar have trouble sleeping sometimes? I am not sure if its bc I am anxious about the follicle mapping on thursday or if I am in the middle of a weird bipolar cycle. I go through it every couple of months. I fall asleep fine, but then between 3am-5am I wake up and I just lay there and can't go back to sleep.

 

[ces2008]

sorry ladies missed yesterday, gonna do them both now.

June 19
All Who Have Cared
What would we have done if not for the people who cared for us over the years? They may not have known about our illness at first, but as time passed and our trust grew, they were eager to learn. They stepped in at the right time, understood us, and accepted us.
They often cared for us when we could not care for ourselves. They helped us get back on our feet and watched us climb up from the depths of despairm Because of them we could find peace and a way to cope with our illness. For all of this we can be grateful.
Is there someone in my life who helped me when I could not help myself? Am I grateful to that person today?
Thought for the Day
Accepting the help of others teaches humility--a spiritual quality necessary fo quality recovery.
*
*
*
June 20
Self-Pity or Grattitude
When our circumstances are painful or difficult, it's normal to feel some self-pity. But when we allow self-pity to fester, it can make our illness worse. Without realizing it, our attitude can turn from hope and faith to hopelessness and despair.
But what self-pity has created we can also uncreate, if we so desire. We can start focusing on feeling gratitude for all the good things in our life (and for life itself).
Today, do I let self-pity consume me or do I focus on gratitude?
Thought for the Day
When times are hard, a little self-pity can be healthy, while just a little more can be destructive.
*
*
*

 

[ces2008]

So, its been an interesting couple of days. Where I live, we arent prepared for floodes. We dont ever get flooding. Well, the entire city flooded Tuesday night! Houses damaged, Roads destroyed, Zoo animals dead. Horrible! The Mayor and Govener declaired a State of Emergency in Duluth and declaired Duluth a Desaster Area! Its bad! As far as I know, nobody (other than the zoo animals which makes me extremely sad) died. So thats good!

 

[ces2008]

Before I do todays, I need to share what my obgyn said today!
He said that, despite the extreme pain it caused, the ruptured cyst was good! He said that it released a perfect follicle! He said to take tylenol for the pain. Best of all, he said that since we BD up to the rupture, theres a good chance that this could end in pregnancy!!!!! That gave me imense hope!!!!!!! Sorry I had to share this with you, my friends!
*
*
June 21
The Link in the Chain
In spite of our desires and best intentions, our illness can appear from nowhere and tempt us to do something that harms us or others.
To maintain our recovery, we must learn to recognize when we are vulnerable. We must learn to recognize and manage the harmful messages our illness sends us. Let us begin to strengthen this link in the chain, so that this too is a day of recovery for us.
Am I monitoring myself carefully today, am doing all I can to maintain my recovery?
Thought for the Day
Recovery takes place one minute at a time, one hour at a time, and one day at a time.

 

[Rosiepooh]

So happy you got good news yesterday ces!

My news on the other hand isn't so good. They found a cyst on my rgiht ovary during my mapping yesterday. So for now we are at a stand still. We are going to schedule lap surgery in either july or august (right now he's booked until august, but he's checking with some other drs to see if they are going on vacation so he can use their surgical suite time). During the surgery he will take care of the cyst and also clean out the endometriosis again ( I had it done a year ago). So that will give us a clean start when we do the next IUI again.

My question is this.... what are my chances that this cyst will ruputure before the surgery?? Will I know when it happens?? That is what you had happen right ces??

 

[Gunnhilde]

My question is this.... what are my chances that this cyst will ruputure before the surgery?? Will I know when it happens?? That is what you had happen right ces??

At least with mine it hurt up until it ruptured and then the pain was gone. I'm not sure if you'll feel exactly when it does.