Looking for March Bump Buddies!

[BellaRosa8302]

Bella no I'm not sorry I asked I want to go into this with realistic expectations! Thank you for sharing and im sorry that happened to you, I pray that this time is much easier for you which I think it should be if you scrapped the midwife. How horrible! Did you ever get any red flags at all with her? Do you think it would've been a little differently if you weren't in a hospital or are you relieved you were at a hospital?

I'm glad I was in a hospital so that the ob could fix me up... regardless, I had a 2nd degree tear. I wonder if I would have had the hematoma had I had an actual doctor stitch me up, but who knows. That midwife is no longer at the practice I see, and even though I have been seeing a new midwife there, she doesn't deliver babies, so I will definitely have a doctor this time. I don't think I had any red flags... there were two midwives (both gone now) and I had been hoping the other one would be on call when I went into labor, but no such luck.

 

[allforthegirl]

Bella finally was able to read your story with out all the interruptions from my monsters. It can be a very loud and distracting time here in the mornings at breakfast.

Wow sounds like that was a very fast labour. Probably why you had those issues...maybe this time your baby and your body will go a little slower and you won't have to go through anything nearly as scary.

Mine was very different. Here is what I remember 13 years later.....

We were out at a festival walking around and eating different foods from around the world. I felt like I could keep walking forever. My gf and I left to my moms (we were staying there as we lived in the NWT at the time) and our partners (my first hubby) left to some boxing fight that was huge. A bit later after arriving there I went pee and I noticed this large gel like substance on my pad (I had to wear pad as I had tons and tons of cm for a couple months prior). I was going to be induced the following day for IUGR so I was expecting him. I came out asking my mom if that is what you would consider my waters....she didn't know, and neither did my friend as neither of them had their water break naturally. So I called the LD and they said to come in to get checked.

We went in and they told me my waters had not broken, yet I was already was 1 cm dilated. She asked me if I noticed anything happening and I didn't. They kept me in just incase to see if anything was truly happening.

Not long after, maybe an hour sitting in there bored out my mind, I heard this balloon pop and my waters went all over everything. I had a pissy nurse as every time I contracted I needed my bedding and such changed and she was one angry lady, very annoyed for having to come in and clean my bedding.

After a few hours my cervix was not changing. but I was getting tired from contracting. I didn't know what to expect AT ALL! I was given the drip and then things really started getting painful so I opted for the epi because I was still not changing. (got to love that they want you labouring faster) I slept for a while and then out of no where i let like I had to push. I pushed for near 3 hrs. I think i was pushing before he was ready....but the urge was so dang strong. He came out with a very big cone head. Then good just started pumping gout of me. They said my uterus was tired after all the pushing i did and thought I would need surgery. They left the epi in just in case, gave me tons of fluids and let me sleep....oh and I got stitches for abrasions so the student Dr could practise....what? I was like you kidding me? (took 8 weeks for them to fully dissolve too )

When I woke she asked me if I wanted to try and get up so I could transfer to the mother baby ward.....I said sure, is it normal for my legs to still be numbish? Shocked she ran to the epi machine and found out they left it on....I was actually grateful for that as I am sure I wouldn't have been able to sleep as well.

I guess I made that a bit long....sorry about that....

 

[Destinyk]

Bella this is true especially because your midwife was so rough. I really hope this time is much more pleasant for you thanks for sharing again

Allforthegirl I like long birth stories, I get to picture it better that way! Thanks for sharing, can't believe they gave you stitches so he could "practice". You did not end up getting surgery right and so they did not check you when you said you had the urge to push? Also can't believe they forgot to turn the epi off!

 

[BellaRosa8302]

Thanks Destiny! Me too! I was told by my midwife (maybe you can weigh in, Allforthegirl) that second labors usually go half as fast as first labors. So, she said since my first labor was around 5 hours, my second should be around 2.5 hours. This is why I'm actually afraid of being that lady on youtube with a car birth!

Allforthegirl, thanks for sharing your story, too! No worries about length, I'm pretty sure mine was longer!

I can't believe the doctor was practicing stitches on you! And poor baby with the cone head! (I know it's pretty normal for a vaginal delivery, but for my DD, everyone kept saying she looked like a c section baby because she didn't have a cone head. Maybe because she came so fast??) And leaving the epidural on??? Wow!

It just makes you realize that doctors and nurses (and midwives!) are human too... and unfortunately, you can't trust them NOT to make mistakes!!! And unfortunately, sometimes those mistakes are really crappy! That's why I feel like I need to be more informed about labor this time around. I think last time around, I just kind of assumed the baby would come out one way or another, and that the midwife & nurses would tell me what to do, and that's about it... I feel a bit more in control this time around, already, and hope that finishing up my natural childbirthing books will help me even more.

 

[allforthegirl]

Bella this is true especially because your midwife was so rough. I really hope this time is much more pleasant for you thanks for sharing again

Allforthegirl I like long birth stories, I get to picture it better that way! Thanks for sharing, can't believe they gave you stitches so he could "practice". You did not end up getting surgery right and so they did not check you when you said you had the urge to push? Also can't believe they forgot to turn the epi off!

Sorry no I didn't end up getting surgery.... They checked me and I was about 8-9 cm but very very adamant that I had to push so they just let me go with my instincts. Maybe my birth canal wasn't giving way as fast as it should. And maybe I didn't push for the full 3 hrs, but more like in Active labour labour for 3 hrs.....It was so long ago....I think maybe I am just not remembering correctly. But I did know my muscles were beyond over worked as a couple days later I peed myself, no control what so ever.

If you ever want me to slowly tell all my stories I can.....since I have 5


Bella~ yes being more informed does help.....I feel like it took me 4 births to really wrap my head around what I want to do. Honestly my first three I was very ignorant. My 4th I wanted a natural, but didn't understand my rights either. I feel like they can (and I know things have really changed in the last 10 years and even last 5) try and make things go faster as they want you actively labouring once in the L&D rooms. So being prepared for the push that will come when you start to slow down or stall all together, which can be common....it seems to be with my labours anyways. So I am a lot more prepared for what to do, for me a birthing plan, in the event my DH says nothing.....it has happened. He is such a quiet guy, and they try and go against my wishes.

 

[Destinyk]

Allforthegirl atleast no surgery! I would love to hear about your births, all five of them

It really is crazy to me how Drs want to rush a natural process.

Warning this story I'm about to tell is absurd. A friend of mine was the opposite she went to the hospital in labor and she was a cm or two dilated apparently they had lots of births that night because as soon as she mentioned she was in labor the response was "great another one?" They sent her home and forced her to take a sleeping pill, literally they checked underneath her tongue and everything to make sure she took it. Anyway she went home and a couple hours later woke to pee when she went to wipe her daughters head was coming out! She yelled for her husband and by the time he got to her baby was born, she had fallen on the ground, umbilical cord snapped (she was upset, she planned to cord blood bank) and she was so traumatized and frozen she didn't even pick baby up. Her husband cleared her nose and mouth and got her to cry and called 911 to get an ambulance over. Totally insane

 

[BellaRosa8302]

Allforthegirl atleast no surgery! I would love to hear about your births, all five of them

It really is crazy to me how Drs want to rush a natural process.

Warning this story I'm about to tell is absurd. A friend of mine was the opposite she went to the hospital in labor and she was a cm or two dilated apparently they had lots of births that night because as soon as she mentioned she was in labor the response was "great another one?" They sent her home and forced her to take a sleeping pill, literally they checked underneath her tongue and everything to make sure she took it. Anyway she went home and a couple hours later woke to pee when she went to wipe her daughters head was coming out! She yelled for her husband and by the time he got to her baby was born, she had fallen on the ground, umbilical cord snapped (she was upset, she planned to cord blood bank) and she was so traumatized and frozen she didn't even pick baby up. Her husband cleared her nose and mouth and got her to cry and called 911 to get an ambulance over. Totally insane

OMG!!!!! I cant even believe that!!!! your poor friend!!!

What scares me is i feel like i hear so many more horror stories about births than good ones...

 

[allforthegirl]

OH my goodness that is horrible....but how nice to go to sleep and wake up to birthing your baby.....just hopefully it is where you are wanting to birth, not bathroom floor.

As for my stories I will do them one day at a time how is that....so the thread isn't bombarded with my stories....and I will put them in spoiler alerts so you don't have t read them if you don't want to....that is a lot of reading.

 

[BellaRosa8302]

Whatever you'd like Allforthegirl! I'd love to read them too

Back to your last post (because I had Cheeto hands - eating my lunch ) I agree about DH... mine is quiet too. I barely remember him even being in the hospital room with me during the labor - at least before the pushing part. Pretty sure he just sat in a chair across the room. Who knows. I hope he's more active this time. Would be nice if he'd rub my back or do SOMETHING instead of just sit there and watch

Just passed in my birth plan to the midwife on Tuesday! Kinda makes me nervous - no changing it now! I didn't exactly expect her to collect it and send it up to the hospital. I just brought it in case we were going to go over it together... so we did, but then she said she was sending it to the hospital so that it was all set whenever I ended up there in labor. Hopefully I won't want to change anything in the meantime!!! (Last time around, I made a birth plan, brought it to the hospital, but never gave it to anybody, because by the time I made it there I felt like I just didn't care about it anymore )

 

[allforthegirl]

I have somethings I want to change about my last birthing plan....especially the part where I put little to no intervention. They took that as an invitation to give me something. So this time I will ask for no intervention and to get me up and moving and try other natural ways to get me going again if things slow down.

 

[BellaRosa8302]

I have somethings I want to change about my last birthing plan....especially the part where I put little to no intervention. They took that as an invitation to give me something. So this time I will ask for no intervention and to get me up and moving and try other natural ways to get me going again if things slow down.

Eww! I'm grateful that my hospital seems to go on the side of NO interventions! I really think the only reason they even gave me the IV was because I had said I wanted the epidural.... that I never had time to get Well, not planning on that happening again! This time I put "natural vaginal birth" in my plan!

 

[DaisyDreamer]

Cute bump pics everyone!

Bella, ouch! I sleep the same way too but it ends up hurting the ligaments in the back part of my hips. So I think I will have to give up that position for the time being. Holy crap about your quick labor!!!!! I was told I'd go in 2.5, I'd probably be rushing to the hospital at every little twinge past 36 weeks haha.
And wow to the birth story. yeah I remember you mentioning some complications due to tearing, but wow!!!! That would traumatize me right to the bone. Hopefully you have found a much better OB/MW
I plan on having OH deliver and cut the cord, but who knows, he just might get stagefright too! GL this go around with your hubby

Destiny, have fun at your baby shower! It sounds like it will be a lot of fun. Holy crap to your friend's birth story! OMG the way some people run their hospitals. Almost makes me glad to be at a birth center but I don't want to speak too soon as the experience is not over yet. That just sounds so horrible! At least she didn't have to go through all the in between paint though, she just slept through it!

Blessedheart, same thing about the movements--in the bath just now they were twitching and gently kicking away. I could feel their arms really low with my hands. It's so amazing! I do not have any experience with a baby measuring that much ahead! That doesn't mean they will be too large, their growth might slow down a bit at this point to even out. Don't cut back but maybe try to exercise more and stay mindful of what kind of food you're eating

AFTG: nice tattoo! What is it of? My bump disappears when I'm on my back, too. Was just in the bath and I could see my lady bits! Imagine that. Thinking it might have to do with whether baby is posterior but it seemed like Zodi was head down and sort of on the side--I felt their feet kicking under my ribs. OH is probably going to have to trim mine up again here soon. Just did it myself about 2 weeks ago, now it's grown again and I'm just too damn big. Probably didn't even do that great of a job last go around any how....
Very interesting birth story too! Wow I'm getting really nervous about tearing now and I hope the MW I prefer is on call when I go into labor.

AFM: I am pretty much just an emotional wreck right now. Haven't any sleep, OH picked a fight with me all night and just kept coming at me with shitty things to say. Cried and cried and cried. On 3 hrs sleep.. After packing up our storage unit and unloading it to the house and grocery shopping earlier that morning, also on 3 hrs sleep. Sorry, am I rambling?
I am just getting so tired. Even a sleep aid or benadryl doesn't help. Ladies have you ever felt just so down in the crapper like this? Like nothing that used to be my go-to feel goods don't work because of the belly or fatigue. Just feeling so crappy and low and OH has no idea how to help either so we're both so miserable the cat doesn't even want to be around this tension.

 

[allforthegirl]

Daisy I am sorry you are not sleeping and feeling so down...maybe go and talk to your Dr? Having a partner that is bringing you down sure can't help. Maybe some family counselling wouldn't hurt either. Need to figure some of that out together cause sorry to say but a baby can make stuff worse.....I know things can be said on either side when sleep is very little then add a fussy baby into the mix can just compound everything.

Some woman are known to have some depression during pg too. I have had some PPD before and it is not fun!

 

[DaisyDreamer]

AFTG I'm not really one to label things but I've pretty much been susceptible to bouts of deep depression since I was 9 or 10. A lot of it has to do with years of having my self worth cut down to shreds by my mom and my still-developing brain mixed with the hormones + reconstructing my self-confidence + no sleep is a crazy storm. The Dr has recommended counseling I just need to look into free services because we don't really have the money to spend on a therapist. But I really wish there was a third person to mediate some times because when it's just the two of us I feel like I'm going crazy being told that the way I'm treated has a just cause but I can't make any mistakes without being raked over the f***g coals.
The cat was going nuts while we were fighting and he just got more angry and he just gets more upset when I'm sobbing uncontrollably because "I just can't pull it together". Which his angers just triggers more sobbing and feelings of worthlesnsess. I can't imagine how a baby would make things any better

 

[DaisyDreamer]

I ate o be blowing this shit up and downing everyone's mood. I don't really have anyone other than OH right now to talk to about this. Just feel so ugly and exhausted

 

[allforthegirl]

well I am sorry you don't have the support system you need and want. That makes it very hard.

 

[Destinyk]

Daisy I'm sorry to hear about your OH, sometimes our men don't realize how insensitive they're being. DH and I were fighting once and I was sobbing of course and he says "are you done?" He nearly took a cast iron skillet to the side of the head. Maybe your OH is also feeling some pressure with baby's arrival coming soon? Sometimes they're stressed and take it out in us because well they have no one else to take it out on which is shitty but how the cookie crumbles. I've learned not to take things personally, maybe just do things that make you feel better about yourself not for him but for you! Even if it's something stupid like doing your hair or taking a nice warm therapeutic essential oil bath to relax. Please do not feel bad for bringing up how you feel, this is what these threads are for, for support during the good AND not so good times. I too am very happy I am going with a birthing center as well. There is only one MW there, private practice. I love her she is very sweet, older (I'd say late 40s early 50s) and has 5 kids of her own. The only person who will be on call and vary is her assistant, she has two and I prefer one over the other simply because she's usually the one there and I met the other one once, but she's also younger and I've bonded with her more she is very sweet. As far as umbilical cutting, I think DH will come around in the moment but right now he's a wee bit skeeved out.

Allforthegirl I agree it would be nice to technically 'skip' the whole labor part but definitely not birthing baby in a bathroom by yourself! I look forward to reading the rest of your stories. I agree about the birth plan thing, sometimes with little to no intervention all they read is little intervention and they feed on that like vampires and next thing you know they've done everything in the book to you, so horrible! I have to write one out too in the event that I am transported to hospital, but really in that case it would be considered an emergency and I really wouldn't have much of a say would I? :/

Bella it's true there are lots of horror stories but a lot of the time it is the caregiver who fails either medically or emotionally. There are plenty of women who have had epidurals and all that and the birth overall went fine and wasn't completely traumatic but this was not what they wanted and they were pushed. We women lose our voices sometimes, especially when we are so vulnerable in a moment such as birth. Sometimes it is up to our OHs and DHs to find our voice for us, I will be talking to my DH soon about what I feel I can cope with if in an emergency I am to be transported to hospital. What I do like about the birth center is they don't even have the equipment for epidurals there, I feel I am less likely to give up the natural birth I want if the temptation is not readily available let alone being pushed on me every 5 seconds. I am however trying to keep an open mind and realize that things do not always go according to plan. In the event that I have to be transported to hospital and God forbid end up with an emergency c section, etc I should not be hard on myself and be thankful my child and myself are still alive to enjoy each other and our new family.

 

[Destinyk]

Wow well my mom just texted me her job just surprised her with a 'grandma shower' and gave her a bunch of baby gifts for us, how sweet of them. So she'll be toting those up here tomorrow as well!

 

[allforthegirl]

Still a good idea if you are wanted to delay cord clamping, or save your placenta, or even extended mom and baby time....You can discuss it with you MW and see if there is any thing you should know what they will and won't give you a choice to.

 

[Destinyk]

Allforthegirl wow thanks for mentioning that! I didn't even think of that because these are things the MW automatically does but a hospital doesn't! Definitely want to make sure they delay cord clamping and give us family time, very much appreciated girly!